


A Long Way From The Playground

by Pink_Sunsets



Series: Since We Were 18 [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Harry, Breakup, Breakups, Crying, Crying Harry, Desperate Louis, Endgame Larry, Famous One Direction, Finished, Harry in Panties, Heartbreak, Hiatus, Homophobic Language, Kids, Louis and Eleanor, M/M, Mpreg Harry, One Direction reunion tour, Original Styles-Tomlinson Child(ren) - Freeform, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Pregnant Harry Styles, Reunion, Secret Child, Secrets, Smut, Top Louis, Twins, Unplanned Pregnancy, but not really, long fic, louis toplinson, secret kids, youll just have to wait and see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 170,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_Sunsets/pseuds/Pink_Sunsets
Summary: One Direction is broken up. They broke up five years ago. That should be the end of the story, right?Harry is finished with One Direction. He now has a new life, one with two kids and a successful solo career. And he’s happy.But a call one night from management flips Harry’s whole new life upside down, and he’s forced to face the life he had left behind.As well as a certain blue eyed man who had left him behind.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Original Male Character(s), Louis Tomlinson/Eleanor Calder, Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s), Zayn Malik/Gigi Hadid
Series: Since We Were 18 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043004
Comments: 1570
Kudos: 1183





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies!! This is just a story I care up with one night and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head!
> 
> I don’t know if I’m going to be going anywhere with this or if I even want to continue writing it, but please let me know what you think!!

Harry wasn’t sleeping. It wasn’t unknown or anything, just a fact about him. He barely slept at all ever, not even when he was exhausted from work and bone tired. He just didn’t- he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to rest anymore.

He wasn’t trying to be cool or edgy or anything like that by not sleeping. It wasn’t even a conscious decision that he made every night. Actually, he really wanted to sleep. He desperately missed the days where he could just roll over and fall asleep easily without a care in the world. He envied his past self, back when he wasn’t always tired. 

But there wasn’t anything that ever helped. No random sleeping drug, no herbal tea, no amount of yoga or meditation ever helped. They just helped him wind down, but they didn’t do anything for his sleeping. Not even therapy seemed to help his sleeping problem, and he had tried quite a bit of therapy.

He just couldn’t do it. He would lay down for hours and hours, desperately trying to get himself to fall asleep on his own, trying to make himself get the rest his body so desperately craved. But it never worked for him, not at all. Sleeping just didn’t come naturally for him anymore, no matter how much he wished it did.

It wasn’t like it had happened all of a sudden. He didn’t just start being unable to sleep one day, he didn’t just suddenly become sleep deprived. It wasn’t a thing that came out of nowhere with no reasonable explanation. 

Harry knew exactly when it happened and he knew exactly why as well. Five years ago was when it all started, and it also happened to be when Harry’s life had completely fallen to pieces. Five years ago, when he lost it all.

And ever since that day five years ago, he hadn’t been able to sleep. 

So, instead of lying in his bed all night, Harry would throw himself into work. That wasn’t hard for him. It wasn’t a challenge in any way for him to find work. There was always work to be done when he was looking after two other people in his house. Cleaning, cooking, planning and more cleaning came with the job of parenthood. 

Plus there was his music career to worry about. Writing music, getting his songs approved, rewriting songs and correcting them, recording them, selecting songs, planning an album, preparing for a tour… the list goes on and on. 

But every few days, Harry would completely wear himself out. He would be up for days, working and going about his life without pausing. And then he would crash. He would completely crash, falling into numb and blissful sleep. When that happened, he could sleep for hours as long as there were no interruptions. 

And that was exactly what he was doing. He was crashing completely. He had been up and at it for days with minimal rest, and he was now crashing for the first time that week. 

Harry just managed to stumble towards his bed late that night. The two small children upstairs had long since drifted off to sleep, and Harry could now feel the unconsciousness creeping into him. 

He stumbled to his bedroom, not bothering to change into pajamas. He just flopped onto his mattress in his sweats, already half asleep before his head even hit the pillow. 

It was two in the morning. Harry was just completely drifting off, his mind starting to go blank with darkness and exhaustion. Then it happened. He was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing loudly. 

Harry cracked an eye open, before groaning to himself. His phone. Of course. The one night he had forgotten to turn his phone off, someone had decided to call him. Perfect. 

The man lay in his bed for a few more long minutes, silently willing the phone to turn itself off. But it was all the way across the room, and whoever was on the other end of the line was persistent. The phone kept ringing and ringing loudly. 

Harry was tired. No, he was completely exhausted. His body was ready to collapse and his mind was practically splitting itself in half from the lack of sleep. All he wanted to do was curl into himself and just forget the world. 

But his phone had other plans. It continued ringing. Obviously whoever was calling him had something urgent, since they had called him more than three times already. But Harry just couldn’t bring himself to care. 

The thing that did bring him to care was the soft snort coming from the other room. The sound of a child waking up from their sleep, and that was something that Harry did care about. 

So, with a whine and a grumble, he pushed his heavy limbs off of the bed. It was hard, the pull of the bed and the promise of sleep tempting, but he managed to get up. 

The man trudged over to his dresser where his phone was and picked it up with a scowl. It was an unknown number, but for some reason, he decided to answer it anyway. 

“Hello?” He croaked, his voice sounding rough and groggy and tired. “Hello? Who is this?”

_ “Hello, Mr Styles,”  _ the voice said from the other end. “ _ Good evening. Now, I know it’s late in LA right now, so I’ll make this brief.” _

Harry just frowned, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake himself up a little more. “Who is this?” He repeated, dumbly. 

He felt like by the way they were talking to him, he ought to know who it was, but he just didn’t. But who could blame him? It was an unknown number and it was two in the morning, of course he wasn’t up to his usual speed. 

The voice laughed at the end.  _ “Right, sorry, Mr Styles,”  _ the voice said.  _ “This is Carol Hammonds. From Syco.” _

Harry frowned deeply at that, feeling a little more awake already. He felt his hand gripping the phone tighter already and his heartrate picking up. “Syco?” He repeated. “But why are you calling me?”

He didn’t like Syco. The people who had managed One Direction for five years before they split up. The people who had forced toxic rumours about him. The people who had tried to drive the boys apart. The people who had forced him and the love of his life from being together. 

So, yeah. He didn’t know what to think now that they were calling him. And he already knew that he had a bad feeling about it. 

The voice broke through his train of thought.  _ “Sorry Mr Styles, but I can’t disclose any information to you yet,”  _ the person- Carol- said. “ _ However, we need to inform you that we have set up a meeting with you this week in LA.” _

“A meeting?” Harry repeated, now feeling fully awake and alert. So much for sleeping. His heart was now thudding against his chest and he was having a hard time keeping his voice neutral. “Why do you need to schedule a meeting? Why do you need a meeting with me?”

_ “Again, I’m so sorry Mr Styles, but I still can’t disclose that information,”  _ she said, not sounding particularly sorry at all. “ _ However, we need to inform you that this meeting is absolutely mandatory and that we need you to be there.” _

“Mandatory?” Snorted Harry, his tone cold. “You can’t make me do anything. You’re not even managing me anymore. I decide now what is mandatory and what isn’t. You can’t tell me what to do anymore.”

_ “Do we have to remind you that you are still under contract, Mr Styles, and you must do as we say,”  _ Carol snapped. “ _ Your admittance is mandatory at the Syco facilities in LA on June 12 at 11:00 am.” _

Harry huffed angrily, running a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath as he let it all sink in. As much as he would love to disobey the management company, he knew that it wouldn’t end well at all for him and that he had to do what they said. 

Finally, he spoke. “Just tell me what the meeting is about, Carol,” he said, sounding defeated. “I’m not coming if I don’t know what it’s about at least.”

He heard Carol sigh from the other end. Then he heard the words that he had been dreading and desperate for. The words that he had been playing in his head for the last five years, yet he wasn’t ready for. When she said the words, the air was nearly knocked out of the man’s body. 

_ “The meeting is to discuss the future of One Direction.” _

***

_ The future of One Direction… The future of One Direction… The future of One Direction… _

The words were banging around in Harry’s head, and he couldn’t get them out. They were echoing endlessly in his brain, causing him to clutch at it painfully. He was already getting a headache from them. 

He was now sitting in the kitchen at the island, a cup of untouched tea next to him. He had moved there when he couldn’t stand the idea of sleep anymore and started wanting a drink of tea to calm him down. 

But the tea wasn’t helping, and he was still stressed out. 

As much as he hated to admit it, he knew what they meant by ‘discussing the future of One Direction.’ Well, no, he didn’t technically know what they meant. Carol hadn’t actually told him anything useful about it, but he could tell what she meant by it. 

Harry wasn’t stupid. He knew that his ten year contract with Syco was ending in a few weeks. He had been hoping for this day for so long, of course he knew that it was going to arrive at some point. And he also knew that Syco was going to do one of two things when the time arrived. 

Syco would either let the contract end silently and pretend that nothing sketchy had ever happened or they would have tried to pull something to get the band to reunite. And Harry kenw for a fact that if they were allowing the contract to end, they would want to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. 

They wouldn’t have called if they were letting the contract end. But they would call if they were pulling something again. And they did call. Hell, they already set up a mandatory meeting that Harry had to attend. And that meant that they were trying to reunite the band in some way.

Harry could cry just at the thought of it. He couldn’t go back, not when he had been doing so good already. He couldn’t go back, he couldn’t take a step backwards. He was moving on, he was making a name for himself without the band. 

Harry felt a lone tear slip down his cheeks, and he quickly brushed it away furiously with the back of his hand. ‘ _ Stop it,’  _ he scolded himself mentally.  _ ‘Don’t cry, stop crying. You’re overreacting.’ _

But he couldn’t stop the sinking feeling that was settling into the pit of his stomach. He felt sick, like he would bend over and vomit the contents of his stomach. Or he could just cry it out and hope to feel better. 

‘ _ It’s fine, calm down,’  _ Harry said to himself.  _ ‘You don’t know what’s happening. You won’t know what’s happening until you go to the meeting. So there’s no point in crying, not yet anyway. Just calm down.’ _

Harry sighed to himself as he pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes. He kept them there until he started seeing stars, before pulling them away. His palms were now wet, but at least he wasn’t crying anymore, which was a plus. He really didn’t need to be crying right now, especially since he didn’t want to wake up the two children that were sleeping upstairs. 

But even though he wasn’t crying anymore, he still didn’t feel better about the situation. He couldn’t stop the sickening, helpless feeling that was in the pit of his stomach, nor could he do anything about it. 

He wasn’t being selfish. He wasn’t. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be reunited with the band because he liked it better on his own. It wasn’t because he wanted the spotlight all to himself or anything. It wasn’t like that. 

He just couldn’t do that again. He can’t go back to the way things were before. Before, he couldn’t breath from all the pressure that was constantly on him and the boys. Things turned toxic fast, and he wasn’t himself. None of them were themselves and things had happened between them. Things Harry couldn’t go through again. 

Times were different now. He was living his best life in LA. Sure, he wasn’t sleeping, but everything else was pretty great. He was writing his own music that he had complete control over. He was touring across the globe, singing his songs to millions of people that supported him. He was no longer being forced into PR stunts or fake relationships. 

Plus, he had a home. A real home. He had a beautiful house in LA and a family. Yes, that’s right, he had a family. He, Harry Styles, was a parent to his two twin children. The lights of his life. The only real joy in his world. 

Times were different, and Harry couldn’t go back to the way they were before. He was not going to change his life for Syco. He wouldn’t- he couldn’t. Not when he had people who depended on him now. He now had two kids, and he wasn’t going to bend backwards for Syco anymore if that meant sacrificing his life with them.

Harry almost didn’t realize that his phone was ringing again, until he heard the loud ringtone echoing in throughout the kitchen. Harry opened his eyes tiredly, and flipped over the phone to see who it was calling him. 

He was just praying that it wasn’t Syco again, or else he might have just lost it all together. But he was surprised to see that it was none other than Niall calling him. At first he wondered why Niall was calling him, but he honestly didn’t care at that point. 

Niall was the one who had been with Harry even after the band broke up. It was when Harry had first found out that he was pregnant and his entire world came crashing down on him. That’s when Niall had stepped in and became the friend he needed, and they had stuck together through the past five years. 

Niall had been there when Harry needed him. Niall was there when Harry went into labor. Niall had been there when Harry’s step father died. Niall was there for every single birthday party and celebration his kids had. Niall was there to become their honorary uncle. Niall was there when Harry needed him most. He was always there. 

Harry sighed, before accepting the call. “Hello?” He asked, pressing the cold phone screen to the side of his face. “What’s up, Niall?”

_ “Harry, it’s three in the morning! You should be sleeping,”  _ Niall said, his voice sounding groggy and tired. He sounded like he had just rolled out of bed or had been woken up. 

Harry just shrugged his shoulders. “I was going to,” he answered easily. “But then I got a call from Syco about an hour ago and I’ve been up ever since then. Don’t really feel like sleeping anymore.”

He heard Niall cringe from the other end.  _ “Yeah, I got a call too,”  _ he said quietly.  _ “Listen, are you okay? You sound horrible. Do you need me to come over for tonight?” _

Harry knew that he felt horrible, but he had kind of been hoping that he didn’t sound that bad. He winced a little. “No, I’m fine,” he insisted, running a hand through his hair. “Just… I don’t know…I’m fine, though.”

_ “Are you sure?”  _ Niall asked, sounding unbelieving. “ _ They’re calling us in for a meeting with them about the band. I didn’t know if you’re, like, I don’t know… It’s been a long time since-” _

“Yeah, I know,” Harry said sharply, interrupting the boy. “I know it’s been a long time since we’ve seen them. But I’m fine. I guess I’m kind of stressed out about it, but I’m going to be fine. It’s just a meeting.”

_ “It’s just a meeting for now,”  _ Niall pointed out softly.  _ “Haz, you do know that if this meeting goes the way you and I think it’s going to go, it won’t be just a meeting. It’s gonna be a whole lot more than just a meeting.” _

Harry tried to sigh to himself, but it came out as more of a whimper. “I know,” he murmured, biting his lip. “But I’m okay as long as I keep telling myself that it’s just a meeting. And I just want to be okay tonight.”

He heard Niall breathing for a few moments on the other end. “ _ I know, I’m sorry,”  _ Niall said after a few long moments.  _ “This is shite. All of it is shite. I’m so sorry that this is happening.” _

“‘S’not your fault, Ni,” Harry mumbled. “None of this is your fault.”

_ “It’s not your fault either, Harry,”  _ Niall said quickly.  _ “This is stupid Management’s fault- stupid Syco’s fault. They’re just trying to make money and rip us apart again. None of this is your fault in any way.” _

“But what am I going to do?” Harry sniffed, feeling the tears start to sting his eyes. “I can’t go back to them- I can’t go back to the way things were. I can’t go back to  _ him.  _ I can’t do this.”

“ _ I know, Hazza,”  _ Niall said, his own voice sounding shaky.  _ “I know, I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. This is… this is so fucked up.” _

Harry nodded, feeling a tear drip down his cheek again. He swore, wiping it away furiously with his hand again. He was not going to cry. He wouldn’t allow himself to cry yet. 

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion. “I am not going to go through that all over again. It’s not fair! They can’t make us! They can’t make us go back!”

_ “Shh, Harry. Calm down,”  _ Niall said soothingly. “ _ Listen, I’m gonna come over, alright? We can talk about this more when I get there, I just don’t want you to be alone right now-” _

Harry quickly interrupted him. “No, Niall, don’t,” he said. “I’m sorry, I’m fine. You don’t need to come over tonight. If you really want to, come over tomorrow. Just… just not tonight.”

_ “Harry, you’re not fine. And it’s really not a big deal. I can be there in fifteen minutes,”  _ Niall insisted. 

But again, Harry just shook his head. “No, not tonight,” he muttered, running a hand over his face to collect himself. “I just lost it for a second, I’m fine now. I’m not crying or breaking down or anything. I’m fine.”

_ “You don’t have to be fine right now…”  _ Niall offered gently. 

“I do, though,” Harry insisted, looking over at the stove to check the time. “It’s nearly three thirty. Allie and Robbie are asleep right now, but they’re going to be up in about two hours. I don’t want them walking in on me crying on the floor with you trying to comfort me.”   
  


He could hear Niall hesitating on the other end of the phone, probably fighting the urge to rush over to the house. But even though he was great at comforting Harry, he was also great at respecting his wishes. 

After a few seconds, he sighed.  _ “Alright then,”  _ he said, giving in. “ _ But I’m coming by later today and we can chat then. Isn’t Gemma going to be watching them for a few hours sometime today?” _

“Yeah,” Harry said, nodding. “She’s taking them out to some museum with Drew or something. I don’t really know what she planned, but they’re going to be out for a few hours. Do you want to come by at around ten o’clock?”

_ “Yeah, sure,”  _ Niall agreed. “ _ But just call me if you need me sooner. I’m only fifteen minutes away and I don’t have any plans for today. And please don’t wait until the last minute because you don’t want to bother anyone. I’m not doing anything today so please, please, please feel free to bother me.” _

Harry smiled at his friend’s niceness. Really, he didn’t know what he would have done without Niall in his life. The guy was just so amazing. “I will, thanks so much, Niall,” he said honestly. 

_ “No problem, Haz,”  _ Niall answered. “ _ And, I’m not going to be going to bed anytime soon, and I know for a fact that you won’t either. So do you want to stay on the phone for a little while? Just until Allie and Robbie get up?” _

It was as if he had read Harry’s mind. The twenty-four year old smiled. “Thanks Niall. You’re the best,” he said. 

_ “Awe! You mean it, Hazza!?”  _ Niall practically squealed. “ _ I’m the BEST!? Woo hoo!” _

Harry giggled, already feeling better now that he was talking with his best friend. “Yes, you are the best. The very bestest,” he answered happily. 

_ “I’m blushing!”  _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos!! It really means so much to me :)

He and Niall chatter for about an hour longer. They talked about almost everything other than the meeting with Syco and the band. They talked about Niall’s love life, they talked about Harry’s kids, they talked about the new season of Grey’s Anatomy, they talked about celebrity gossip. 

They basically covered almost every subject other than the band. Niall seemed to be purposefully avoiding the subject, steering the conversation in another direction whenever they seemed to be getting closer to the subject. 

But Harry didn’t mind. He was actually glad that his friend wasn’t forcing him to talk about it just yet. He knew Niall was probably waiting until they could talk in person before bringing it up, but he didn’t care. He was just glad to have his friend keeping his mind off of the subject for even just a little while. 

When six thirty came around, Niall said he had to go since he was meeting up with one of his friends for a morning jog. Harry said goodbye to his friend, opting that it was also best for him to get started with his day. 

He headed over to the stove and decided to make some breakfast for the day. Harry didn’t actually know if he’d be able to eat anything, but he knew that he still had to cook up some breakfast. 

He opted for making some whole wheat pancakes. Sure it was healthy, but if he topped it with bananas and maple syrup it wouldn’t seem gross to a four year old. 

He whipped up the pancake batter pretty quickly. It only took him about five minutes for him to make it. It had come in a box mix that he had gotten at the vegan store the other day and all he had had to do was measure it out and mix in water. Soon, he was finished and ready to cook them up on the stove. 

He heard the sound of tiny feet walking down the stairs before he saw them. Two soft feet padded down the stairs and into the kitchen. Harry brightened instantly at the sound of them, smiling happily. 

A small boy was standing here, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He had light, feathery hair that was tussled messily on his head. He was rubbing his bright blue eyes, a yawn escaping from his small mouth. 

“Daddy?” The small boy asked, his little voice squeaking. 

Harry smiled instantly, crouching down onto the ground and holding his arms open. “Hey baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around the tiny boy. He hugged him tightly, breathing in the sweet scent of shampoo off of his head. 

“Pancakes?” The boy mumbled, sniffing. 

Harry nodded, letting go of the hug. “Mhm,” he answered. “I’m making some for you and Allie. Is she still sleeping?”

Robbie nodded, rubbing his eye again. “Yeah,” he nodded. 

“Ok, she’ll probably get up soon,” Harry said, helping the boy onto a stool at the island. “Do you want your pancakes now? I think they’re just about ready.”

“Yes please,” Robbie said, his tiny voice still slow and squeaky from sleeping. 

Harry smiled at the adorable sound of his boy, before heading over to the stove to get the pancakes. As he assumed, they were ready for serving. He picked up a single pancake, before placing it on a plate and cutting it up into small pieces. He then placed a few banana slices on top, before putting on some syrup.

He handed the pancakes to the four-year-old, sliding the plate over to him. Robbie smiled warmly, a sight that was enough to make anyone melt with the cuteness. 

“Thank you, daddy,” he said, before taking a big bite of his pancake. 

“No problem, sweetie,” Harry answered. He bent down and brushed his hair out of his face, before placing a quick kiss to his son’s forehead. 

He pulled up another stool, before sitting down next to the four year old. He had his own glass of orange juice, sipping it slowly as he watched his small son eat. He took a moment to look at the boy for the first time that day. 

He didn’t look like Harry, not in the way that his other child did. Robbie had blondish-brownish hair that was light and feathery, not like Harry’s brown curls. Robbie also had the brightest blue eyes, framed by thick black eyelashes. He was small for his age as well, even though he was only four. 

But Robbie was more like Harry than anyone else. He was nervous and quiet, much more reserved than his sister. He didn’t fight and he didn’t talk back. Harry had been very much like him when he was younger, and still was sort of like that. 

“Daddy?” A small asked, breaking Harry from his thoughts. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asked, turning his attention back to his boy. 

“Umm… what are we doing today?” Robbie asked, looking at him with wide, questioning eyes. 

“Well, today you and Allie are going to be hanging out with auntie Gemma and Drew,” Harry explained. “I think you guys are going to go to a museum or something. Are you excited for that?”

Robbie nodded, before biting his lip. “Are you coming?” He asked nervously. 

Harry’s heart melted even more, and he couldn’t resist placing a small kiss to the top of the small boy’s head. “No, not this time, love,” he said with a smile. “But you’re going to have fun with Allie, Drew and auntie Gemma.”

“B-but why aren’t you coming?” He asked with a trembling lip. Robbie has had separation anxiety since as long as Harry could remember. Having a twin sister helped, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough and he just wanted Harry. 

“I’m just going to be staying in this time,” Harry explained softly, running a hand through the boy’s hair soothingly. “Uncle Niall is coming over and he and I are going to be here while you and Allie go have fun.”

“B-but I wanna have fun with you too,” Robbie said, his bright blue eyes becoming a little moist with tears. “P-please come too?”

Harry’s heart broke again, and he felt the urge to cancel his plans with Niall and spend the day with his kids, like he always did. But Robbie’s counselor had already told him that he needed to sometimes give the boy space to do things on his own, whether or not he wanted Harry. 

But before he could decline again, he heard another small voice start yelling from the top of the stairs. “Are those pancakes!?” The voice yelled, before the sound of thundering footsteps ran down the stairs. 

“Allie! No running on the stairs!” Harry warned. “You’re going to slip and fall if you go too quickly, and you don’t want to break your arm again.”

“I won’t fall, daddy!” Allie said, running into the kitchen to join her father and her brother. She smiled widely at them when she ran in, still dressed in her pajamas from the night before. “See, I’m okay!”

Harry just shook his head a little at her. “Remember last time, Allie. You couldn’t play footie for four months after that,” he said, reprimanding. 

The little girl, Allie, pouted. “I know, I know,” she said with a pout on her lips. “But I want pancakes!”

“Ok, ok,” Harry said, kneeling down to grab the girl into a hug. “I’ll get you some pancakes, but first what do you say?”

Allie frowned in thought, furrowing her small eyebrows. “Hmm,” she said in thought. “Umm… I REALLY want pancakes?” She tried. “Oh, I mean, please?”

Harry nodded in approval, placing a quick kiss to her messy curls. “Mhm, that’s right. I’ll go get them. You go have a seat next to Robbie, sweetie.” He instructed her, already moving towards the stove. 

The small girl nodded happily, her brown curls bouncing happily on her head. “Oki doki, daddy!” She chirped, skipping over to the stool next to the island and taking a seat next to her twin brother. 

Harry quickly made her plate, before sliding it over to her like he had done for Robbie. “So, how did you guys sleep last night?” He asked, sitting down next to them. 

“Good,” Allie said, her mouth already full of pancake. “I’m not even sleepy anymore! Now I’m wide awake!”

“Me too!” Robbie chirped happily. 

Harry smiled at the two children, his eyes filled with adoration. “Great, because auntie Gemma and Drew are coming by today and they’re gonna be playing with you today!” He said excitedly. 

“Auntie Gemma!” Squealed Allie excitedly. “Yay! We get to play with auntie Gemma and Drew today! Are you excited, Robbie!?”

Robbie nodded, already smiling from his sister’s excitement and now a lot less nervous about the whole thing. 

Opposite from her brother, Allie actually looked a lot more like Harry. She had big, bright green eyes and thick black eyelashes. She also had long, brown ringlets that framed her pale face. She was also small for her age, but made up for it in character. 

She was loud and wild, and Harry often had a hard time controlling her. She was constantly getting herself hurt, whether it was from playing too hard or just from clumsily falling. She also seemed to have her motto, ‘why talk when you can yell.’

“Mhm,” Harry said, nodding. “She’s coming in two hours to pick you two rascals up, so we have to get ready after you two finish.”

“Ok, daddy!” Chirped Allie, already starting to shove the pancakes quicker into her mouth. Harry had to quickly stop her before the girl could choke on her food. 

When they had all finished breakfast, Harry had taken the two children upstairs to get ready for Gemma and her son Drew. Both Allie and Robbie were sticky from the syrup at breakfast, so he gave them each a bath, before getting them ready. 

After all three of them were washed and dressed and ready to go, Gemma was already on her way to get them. She and her boyfriend Micheal lived only a few minutes away with their son Drew, so it didn’t take them any time at all to get there. 

There was a knock at the door, signalling that Gemma was there already. Harry wiped his hands from where he was doing dishes, before starting to head towards the entryway. 

“I’LL GET IT!” Allie yelled, already making a run for the door. But Harry was quick, and caught the girl in two long strides before she could get to the door. 

“Allie, what have I told you about answering the door?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at the wiggling girl in his arms. 

Allie bit her lip, looking sheepish. “Umm, not to?” She asked. 

Harry nodded his head. “That’s right, you don’t answer the door unless daddy tells you that it’s okay too,” he said, placing her back down on the ground. “What if it wasn’t auntie Gemma at the door? What if it was someone you didn’t know?”

The girl frowned, bowing her head towards the ground. “Sorry daddy,” she mumbled. “I forgot.”

Harry sighed to himself, before placing a hand on her chin and tipping her head up. “It’s okay, love,” he said with a warm smile, kissing her on the forehead. “Now, you ready to go see auntie Gemma and Drew?”

She instantly brightened up at that, nodding her head excitedly. “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” She chanted, already jumping up and down on spot excitedly. 

Harry chuckled to himself. He grabbed the girl’s hand, before walking towards the door with her. He unlocked the front door, before opening it to reveal Gemma standing there with her eight year old son Drew. 

“Auntie Gemma!” Allie squealed, launching herself into the woman’s waiting arms. Gemma grabbed her into a hug, squeezing the small girl tightly. “I missed you!”

“Hey, Allie!” Gemma said brightly. “I missed you too!”

“Are we gonna go to the mus-ye-yum?” Allie asked, frowning as she tried to pronounce the word slowly, and failing. 

Gemma smiled and nodded her head. “Yep!” she said happily. “And it’s called a mus-eee-um, love. And yeah, we’re going to be leaving soon.”

Allie frowned, before nodding. “Oh yeah, that’s what I meant,” she said, giggling a little. “So can we go now?”

“Yup, can you and Drew go get Robbie before you leave? I think he might still be in the playroom,” Harry said, smiling lightly at his daughter. 

Allie nodded, bobbing her head up and down. “Oki doki, daddy,” she said, before reaching over and grabbing her cousin’s hand. “Come on, Drew! Let’s go find Robbie so we can go!”

Drew, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else other than being bossed around by his younger cousin, shot his mother a frown. But he allowed himself to be dragged away by the hyperactive girl without complaint. 

When they were both out of earshot and sight, Harry leaned against the doorframe, running a hand over his face tiredly. “Thanks for doing this, Gem,” he said softly. “It means a lot, especially today.”

Gemma’s smile had dropped as soon as the kids had left, and she was now wearing a very concerned expression. “Are you okay, Harry?” She asked, frowning at her brother. “You don’t look too good.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Harry mumbled. “I’m just tired.”

“You’re always tired,” Gemma pointed out, still looking worried. “But today you look really bad. Are you sure you aren’t working too hard? Maybe you’re coming down with something and should call a doctor?”

Harry shook his head. “No, I feel fine. Exhausted, but I’m fine,” he answered. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Harry, you’re my brother,” Gemma said with a quiet huff. “I’m always going to worry about you. Even when you’re older and don’t need anyone to worry, I still will. So cut the crap and tell me what’s wrong.”

Harry bit his lip and considered lying to her. He weighed the options mentally, before deciding that it wouldn’t help him much in the long run if he was lying to his sister. Gemma knew him better than anyone, and would definitely be able to tell if he wasn’t telling her something. 

So he sighed, defeated. “I got a call from Syco this morning,” he muttered quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear. Gemma let out a soft gasp. 

“You did!?” She asked, his eyes going wide. “What did they want?”

Harry shrugged. “They didn’t exactly say. They just called to set up a meeting for next week. Niall got the same call, so I assume they called all of the other boys as well.”

“Woah,” Gemma breathed, looking disbelieving. “Did they say what the meeting is about?”

Harry just shrugged again. “Not exactly, but Niall and I have a pretty good idea of what we think it’s going to be about,” he admitted. “All they said was that we would be discussing the future of the band, but we’re pretty sure it means that they want a reunion of some kind.”

“A reunion!?” Gemma exclaimed, before covering her mouth and lowering her voice, glancing around outside to make sure no one was around. When she didn’t see anyone, she continued. “They can’t be serious!”

“We don’t know if that’s what they want for sure,” the curly haired man said. “But do know that if they were just letting the contract finish like it was supposed to, they would have done it silently and without drawing attention to the fact. They wouldn’t have called all of us.”

“That’s insane,” Gemma said with a frown. “Are you going to go? It’s next week, right? Don’t you have a meeting with your manager Jeoffrey sometime then?”

“I have to go, Gem,” Harry said with a frown. “I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to, but it’s mandatory. Besides, depending on how this meeting goes, I don’t know how much longer Jeoffrey will be around.”

Gemma opened her mouth to say something else, before the sounds of approaching feet and shouting cut her off. The two Styles siblings quickly stopped talking and plastered smiles onto their faces when their children came into view. 

“We’re ready!” Allie shouted, running over to them, holding onto each boy by one of her hands as she dragged them behind her. “Now, let’s go!”

Harry smiled at his two kids as they ran towards the door, both of them now eager to get to the museum. Robbie barely even looked nervous anymore, he just looked excited. 

But before either of them could make it to the door, Harry dropped down to his knees and held his arms open, catching both four year olds into his arms. They squealed in surprise, nuzzling into his hold. 

“Have fun at the museum, cuties!” He exclaimed, squeezing them both for a second, before letting go. They both giggled, hugging him closely with their tiny arms. 

“We will, daddy!” Robbie said when they pulled away. 

“Bye bye, daddy!” Allie waved as she and her brother made their way out of the house, both of them waving goodbye to him.

Gemma shot him one last final smile, before grabbing both four year olds by the hand and leading them all towards her car. Harry stood in the doorway until they were all loaded into her car. He waved one last time as they drove away, already missing the two small children.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!!
> 
> IMPORTANT!!!!  
> So before I continue with the story, I just need to clear something up.
> 
> I had some trouble thinking of a name for Harry’s son. I was skipping between naming him Robbie, George or Charlie, but I ultimately decided to Robbie. So sorry if theres any confusion there. From now on his name will be Robbie,

Harry had thrown himself into work as soon as Gemma had left with the kids. He was now home alone and there was no longer anyone who needed his attention, meaning that there was no one who could distract his mind. 

Without Allie and Robbie there for him to look after, Harry busied himself with house work. He had a whole hour to kill before Niall would be arriving at his house, and he didn’t want to spend that hour thinking. He knew that if he started thinking about everything, he wouldn’t be able to stop, and that wouldn’t be good. 

So he cleaned. He started off in his huge, white kitchen. He scrubbed all the counters, washed all the dishes and mopped the floors. He had music blasting from his speaker, playing each song mind-numbingly loud. Loud enough to drown out his thoughts. 

When he was done in the kitchen, he went straight up to his kids’ bedrooms. While the rest of the house was pristinely tidy, the two four year olds had a habit of creating messes wherever they went, and their bedrooms were no exception. 

Harry did Robbie’s room first, but there wasn’t much to do in there. Certainly not enough to keep him busy for longer than fifteen minutes. He was finished his son’s room after only a few songs from his playlist. 

So he then went to Allie’s bedroom. She was wilder in general, and her room was no different. Harry practically smiled at the challenge of the messy room, before busying himself in cleaning it up. 

He was just finishing stacking the last of her books onto the bookshelf when he heard the sound of the door opening. He knew instantly that it was Niall, as almost no one else just opened his front door and let themselves in- not even his mother. 

He was half relieved to see his best friend, but he was half dreading it at the same time. No, he wasn’t dreading seeing Niall, he was dreading the conversation he was about to have with Niall. They were two very different things. 

“Haz!” Niall’s voice yelled from downstairs. “Are you here!?”

“I’m coming! Just one second!” Harry shouted back down, pausing the song he had been listening to and standing up to his feet. The room was finally neat and tidy, and there wasn’t anything else left for him to clean. So with a sigh, he shuffled down the stairs. 

He walked down the stairs, only to see that Niall was standing in his kitchen. The blond man was rummaging around in the cupboard, probably searching for some snacks to munch on, as he usually liked to do. 

“Harry, you have a problem,” Niall stated, turning around with a deep frown on his face. “You don’t have nearly enough snacks in this house. How are you not starving?”

Harry rolled his eyes, smiling fondly at his friend. “I have tons of snacks,” he replied. “Look in the fridge, I’m sure you’ll find something to eat in there.”

“But I already tried looking in the fridge,” Niall said with a huff. “All there is is vegetables and fruit and stuff! And all you have in your cupboards is wheat germ. Nothing snack worthy. What even is wheat germ!?”

“Wheat germ is- nevermind…” Harry said, trailing off when he realized that his friend didn’t actually care. “And vegetables happen to be healthy and nutritious and they can taste good. It wouldn’t kill you to try one.”

Niall pretended to shudder. “I wouldn’t risk it, though,” he said. “You need to get some real snacks. Like cookies and crackers and popcorn and stuff. Real snacks. Your kids can’t live off of wheat germ forever!”

Harry rolled his eyes again. “Did you just come here to criticize my snacks or was there another reason that you’re here?” He asked, leaning against his marble counter. 

“Whatever, you’re lucky I got nandos before you came here, or else you would have been in for an earful,” Niall responded. “Plus, I brought doughnuts.”

“I don’t like doughnuts,” Harry stated with a frown. 

“No, the doughnuts are for me. You get to eat wheat germ,” Niall answered. “And I for one refuse to deny your lil angles the sweet taste of pure sugar, so I brought some for them as well for when they’re back.”

“You don’t have to buy them sugar whenever you come over, you know,” the curly haired man said with a small frown on his face. “You’re spoiling them.”

Niall just shrugged. “I’m their godfather. It’s my job to spoil them rotten.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry said with a small smile. “I’m sure they’ll appreciate some sugar and love you even more for bringing them doughnuts. At least they’ll be happy for a break from eating dry wheat germ.”

Niall laughed, nodding along. He smiled brightly at the curly haired lad, before sobering up again. The smile faded from his face and he turned serious, frowning a little at his best friend. 

“Haz…” he started slowly. 

Harry lifted his hand, cutting his friend off before he could start. “No, Niall. I don’t want to have this conversation with you right now.”

“Harry…”

“Niall, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’re going to have to talk about it. The meeting is in one week. You can’t just stay here and avoid it forever.”

“Niall, please,” Harry pleaded, looking at his friend with desperate eyes. “I really just don’t want to talk about it now. Can’t we just… hang out or something. I don’t want to- I can’t-”

Before he could say anything else, Niall was walking across the kitchen. In only a matter of seconds, he was closing the short distance between them, pulling the other man into a tight hug. 

Harry instantly melted into the embrace, letting his own arms wrap loosely around his friend’s waist. He could feel Niall rubbing soothing circles on his back, prompting Harry to nuzzle his face into the crook of his best friend’s neck. He could feel Niall’s breath against his ear as well as the sound of his heart beating inside of his chest. Both were comforting to Harry. 

“It’s okay, Harry,” Niall murmured into his ear. “It’s okay to be nervous about everything, and it’s okay not to be fine right now. But please just talk to me.”

“I can’t talk about it Niall, or else I might lose my shit,” Harry mumbled, already becoming weak from the warm, comforting presence of the other guy. 

Niall just hugged him tighter. “It’s okay to lose your shit right now, Harry. Allie and Robbie aren’t here, and won’t be for a few hours. It’s just me and you. You can cry and scream and lose it if you want to.”

“Not here,” Harry said, shaking his head. “Come sit on the couch with me?”

Niall nodded immediately. “Yeah, of course,” he said. Then, with his arms still wrapped tightly around the other lad, he led both of them towards the couch in the living room. 

Harry sat down and almost instantly drew his knees up towards his chest, hugging them close. He looked so small as he curled in on himself, looking weak and skinny and scared. It broke Niall’s heart. 

“You wanna talk about it now?” Niall offered, sitting down next to the boy. 

Harry shook his head. “Not really,” he answered honestly. “I don’t really ever want to talk about it ever again. But I probably should while Allie and Robbie aren’t around…”

“Just take your time,” Niall prompted gently. “I’m not going anywhere, so just take your time.”

Harry nodded, sucking in a deep breath through his nose before exhaling shakily. “I don’t know,” he said, his voice already trembling a little. “I don’t know anything anymore. I just don’t want to go back.”

“I know, Haz,” Niall said softly. 

“It’s just,” Harry said, speaking a little more louder and certain than before. “The band broke up. One Direction broke up five years ago. That should be the end of the story, right? I’ve moved on, I have a life now. I can’t go back to the way things were before. That would be like taking a step back when all I’ve been doing for the past five years is trying to move on.”

“Yeah,” Niall murmured, listening intently to his friend. 

“I have kids. Allie and Robbie are my life now,” Harry continued, now sounding more confident in what he was saying. “I have a solo career. I’ve made two successful solo albums. I’m done with the band and ready to live my life. I can’t go back to the way things were because I have priorities now. I have Allie and Robbie now.”

“I know,” Niall agreed. “It’s not fair.”

Harry shook his head. “It’s not fair at all. They can’t do that to us!” He nearly yelled in anger. “I have a life! You have a life! We all made our own lives and they expect us to just go back to the band like nothing happened? It’s been five years! Life happened! We’re not the same people we were back then!”

“Everyone is doing their own thing,” Niall said. “We all have solo careers. We all have lives outside the band now, which wasn’t something we had before. Hell, I don’t even know what the boys are doing anymore.”

“Exactly!” Harry shouted. “They can’t do this to us!”

“It’s not fair,” Niall repeated. 

“No it’s not. And I’m not going to go back to the way things were. I’m not signing another contract for Syco. After this one expires, I’m done,” he said with finality. “They can’t make me be someone I’m not anymore. I won’t let them.”

Niall frowned. “Harry, you know Syco. They have their ways to make people do what they want. You might not have a choice to sign again.”

“What are they going to do? Send Simon up against me again? Well that won’t work on me ever again,” he said with a snort. “There’s almost nothing that could make me sign a contract with them again.”

“I know, but you also know that Syco plays dirty. We don’t know what’s going to happen at that meeting, and we might end up having to sign another contract,” Niall said slowly. 

“I’m not. I won’t,” Harry said, shaking his head. “I can’t go back to the band. I can’t ever go back to them ever again.”

He expected the irish lad to say something, to agree with him. But he looked up in surprise to see Niall sitting there, biting his lip guiltily. He frowned at that. 

“What?” Harry asked. “You’re going to go back to the band? Go back to the boys?”

Niall shrugged. “It’s not the worst thing in the world, is it?” He asked slowly, studying Harry’s face for a reaction. “It’s just that… we’ve both said how tiring it is to tour alone and to perform alone. We’ve both missed being in a band, and don’t you try and deny it.”

“So you’re seriously thinking about signing again!?” Harry shouted, his eyes glaring at his friend. “What are you thinking!?”

Niall’s frown deepened, but he didn’t rise to Harry bait. “I don’t know. If it comes to a choice between joining or not joining, I’m not going to choose to reunite the band. But if it comes down to a point where we don’t have a say in it, I’m not going to be sacrificing my career over it.”

“How can you say that?” Harry demanded. “The band was TOXIC. How can you say that you;d go back to that ever again?”

“I’m not saying that, Harry. What I’m saying is that there is a good chance that Management is going to be forcing a reunion on us next week, and I’m trying to be prepared. I’m planning for the worst possible outcome,” Niall explained. 

Harry huffed angrily, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t like it. And I won’t be forced into reuniting the band or anything like that.”

“I know you don’t like it, but there might not be much of a choice for us,” Niall said reproachfully, placing a hand on his friend’s knee. “And I also know that this isn’t the worst thing in the world that could happen.”

Harry’s head snapped over, looking at him inclueriously. “Not the worst possible thing? How the hell could this not be the worst possible thing?”

“Harry, just hear me out,” Niall said. “Now I know that it seems bad- it probably seems horrible right now. But I also know for a fact that you miss performing in the band. You miss me and the boys on stage with you, singing the old songs we wrote when we were young and dancing around like idiots. You miss that.”

“I don’t miss that,” Harry denied. “And I don’t miss the boys. I don’t even know them anymore, we haven’t spoken in so long…”

“You do miss them. I saw you looking up Liam’s new single the other day,” Niall insisted. “Please, Harry. You do miss them, I can see it in your eyes whenever Allie or Robbie starts singing a One Direction song. Don’t let what happened between you and Louis-”

“Stop,” Harry interrupted sharply, tensing up instantly. “Stop talking. You’re crossing a line.”

“Harry…”

“No, stop it, Niall. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harry said, his tone icy and sharp as ever, as if he was teetering on an edge. 

Niall sighed after a moment, shifting back a little and removing his hand from where it had been resting on his friend’s knee. He sat back against the other end of the couch, leaving a few feet of space between him and the other boy. 

Harry just sat there for a long moment, neither of them speaking. They were silent for a long time, probably several minutes, before Harry broke the silence.

“He doesn’t even know them,” Harry said, his voice trembling and then cracking at the end. He could feel the tears already starting to choke his throat, and he had to swallow thickly to keep them down. “He doesn’t know they even exist.”

“Hazza…” Niall breathed, before leaning forward and gathering the curly haired boy into a tight hug. Harry leaned into the hug, already feeling the tears pooling in his eyes. “Oh, Hazza…”

“I never told him… he left too soon… he doesn’t know them…” Harry mumbled, sniffling as a tear escaped his eyelids and dripped down his cheek. “I never got to tell him about them, and now he’s going to hate me…”

“Shh, Hazza. He won’t hate you. He could never hate you,” Niall murmured, keeping the boy’s head tucked into his chest, carading his fingers through his brown hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But he will. He’s gonna find out soon, especially if they decide to reunite the band. He’s gonna find out about them and then he’s gonna hate me for not telling him. He’s gonna say it was all m-my f-fault,” Harry cried softly. 

Niall squeezed him tightly. “It’s not your fault, none of this is your fault. He’s a dick who didn’t stick around long enough to meet them. It’s no one’s fault but his own that he doesn’t know about them. It’s not your fault at all.”

“B-but he’s gonna be s-so mad!” Harry sniffed, the tears now freely dripping down his face uncontrollably. “L-L-Louis is going to h-hate me and t-then h-he’s gonna want t-to take the k-kids from m-me!”

“No, Harry. No one is going to let him take Allie and Robbie from you,” Niall assured him. “You’re so strong. You’re the one who gave birth to them and raised them. You’re so brave and so strong. It’s Louis’ fault that he’s an asshole.”

“But what am I going to do!?” Harry cried. “He’ll know that they’re his! Robbie looks so much like him, they look the exact same! A-and Allie acts like him! She’s loud and wild and just like he was! He’s gonna know that they’re his!”

Niall didn’t say anything about that. He just sat there with Harry tucking into his side, murmuring sweet nothings to the boy as he rubbed slow circles on his back. He didn’t have the answers that Harry had wanted, but he was there, and that was what he needed. 

Harry didn’t know how long he lay there, sobbing into Niall’s chest. It must have been a while, because pretty soon he could feel his eyelids start to be getting heavy. He could feel the exhaustion creeping up on him. 

At first he tried to fight it. He tried his best to keep his eyes open, fighting the urge to drop off to sleep. But his body was bone tired, and it was hard to keep his eyes open. It was like they suddenly weighed five pounds each, and he could barely lift them. 

As if Niall had sensed his struggle, he brought up to Harry's head, running his fingers along his scalp. “It’s okay, Harry,” he murmured softly. “Go to sleep. You’re tired. Just go to sleep…”

Harry was asleep before his friend got the chance to finish his sentence.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry woke up to the sound of giggling coming from the kitchen. He groaned a little as he woke up, stretching out his sore limbs. His body felt sore and tense, and he opened his eyes to see that he had fallen asleep on the couch. 

Harry pushed himself up to a seat, rubbing his eyes as he glanced around the room. At first he was confused as to why he was sleeping on the couch, but then his conversation with Niall all came back to him. 

The irish man was nowhere to be seen, and it was just Harry alone in the living room. There was a blanket draped over his body, probably from Niall, and the room was empty. It also happened to be getting dark outside, which meant that he had slept for longer than he thought. 

After a few breaths sitting down, Harry pushed himself off of the couch. He rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to wake himself up, before heading into the kitchen, where the giggling was coming from. 

He smiled when he walked in. Niall was sitting on a stool, whispering excitedly to the two kids. Allie and Robbie were both sitting on two other stools, shoving bits of doughnut into their faces as they giggled. 

Robbie was the first to realize his presence. “Daddy!” He gasped, nearly dropping his doughnut in surprise. “You’re awake!”

The small boy jumped off of his stool and ran over to where Harry was waiting, before launching himself into his father’s arms. “Hey, love!” Harry said, already feeling better. “What are you guys up to?”

“We’re eating doughnuts!” Allie exclaimed excitedly, her mouth full of the pastry. Small flecks of food flew out of her mouth as she talked. 

Harry scrunched up his nose, wiping the crumbs off of her cheeks. “Chew and swallow before talking, love,” he reminded her. “You don’t want to choke.”

Allie nodded, before taking another giant bite of her doughnut. She chewed it quickly, before swallowing it whole. “Uncle Niall brought us the doughnuts!”

Harry pretended to gasp. “Did he!?” He exclaimed, looking surprised. “But you two don’t like doughnuts, do you?”

“No, we love them!” Robbie laughed, skipping back over to his stool and sitting down. He picked up his own doughnut and shoved it into his mouth again. “See daddy! We love them!”

Harry chuckled a little at the boy, before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his head. “I see,” he commented. “But I also see that it’s already six thirty. Did you guys have dinner yet?”

“Yup! We had chicken fingies!” Allie said happily. 

Harry raised his eyebrows, turning to look at his best friend with a deadpan. “You gave them chicken fingers and doughnuts for dinner?” He asked. 

Niall nodded, sharing a subtle wink with the two four year olds. “Yep, and they loved them!” He said with a wide grin. “Relax, Haz. They can go back to eating wheat germ tomorrow, just let them have their fun.”

Harry paused, before giving in. “Well, alright then,” he said. “But this is a special treat. We’re not going to be eating chicken fingers and doughnuts everyday, okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” Robbie said, finishing the last of his doughnut in one final bite. 

The two kids finished up their doughnuts, while Harry cleaned up the kitchen a little. Niall had had to step out for a call, probably another from Syco, for a few minutes. When they were all done, it was already seven o’clock. 

“Did you guys have fun with Drew and auntie Gemma?” He asked, already starting on the dishes that were from dinner. 

“Yup!” Allie chirped happily. “We went to an animal museum and we saw animals! I touched a snake, but Robbie didn’t because he was too scared!”

“Stop, Allie!” Whined Robbie, pouting at his sister. “I wasn’t scared! I don’t like them!”

“Yeah, and we saw this big skeleton from a dino! It was big and I wanted to climb on it, but auntie Gemma said no and that I wasn’t ‘llowed,” Allie explained. 

“And I saw some fishies,” Robbie added softly. 

Harry turned and smiled warmly at the two twins. “Sounds like you two had a fun day,” he said with a smile, wiping his hands on a nearby towel. 

They both nodded. “Yup,” Robbie said. “I wanna go back tomorrow!”

Harry chuckled lovingly, running his fingers through his boy’s light hair. “I don’t know about tomorrow, but daddy can take you there sometime soon,” he said. “But right now I think it’s time for bed.”

Instantly, he heard the two kids start whining. “No, daddy! Not time for bed!” Robbie pouted. 

“I’m not even sleepy yet, daddy!” Allie denied. “We don’t wanna go to bed! Please, can’t we just stay up a little later! Please?”

She looked up at Harry and gave him her cutest pout. She jutted out her bottom lip and looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes. But Harry was used to this, and wasn’t about to break that easily. 

“Nope, not tonight,” he said, picking her up off the stool and placing her onto the ground again. “It will already be past your bedtime by the time you’re both ready for bed.”  
  


“I don’t wanna go to bed,” Robbie pouted, but followed Harry nonetheless. “I’m not even sleepy.”

As if on cue, a small yawn escaped from his mouth. Harry smiled at that, before leaning down and picking up the small boy. “I know, bug,” he said lovingly. “But you need your sleep if you want to do fun things tomorrow.”

He shifted Robbie onto one of his hips, before using his free hand to grab Allie by the band. He then led the two tired children up the stairs and towards their bedrooms. 

Robbie was already asleep on Harry’s hip, so he went to his son’s bedroom first. “Can you go get changed into your pajamas, honey?” Harry asked his daughter. 

Allie rubbed her eyes tiredly, but nodded. She let go of her father’s hand, before slowly heading down the short distance to her own bedroom, stumbling tiredly. 

Harry quickly changed a sleeping Robbie into his own pajamas, discarding the clothes into the hamper in the corner of the room. As it was summer, he didn’t tuck the boy under the covers, as he would get too hot. Instead he just placed him gently onto his bed and flipped on the ceiling fan to cool him down. 

He went to Allie’s room, only to see her struggling to put the shirt over her head. He smiled lightly at her, before untangling her arms and lifting the shirt down. “There you go, love,” he said. 

“Thanks daddy,” Allie said, rubbing her eyes again with her small fist. 

Harry lifted her by the arms, before placing her onto her own bed. “Goodnight, baby,” Harry said gently, placing a small kiss onto her forehead and brushing her curls out of her face. “I love you.”

“I love you too, daddy,” she murmured, already drifting off to sleep. 

Harry waited until she was asleep before lifting the bed rails that were attached to her bed to make sure she didn’t fall off. There was a small ‘click’ as they secured in place. Harry then flipped the light off and turned the fan on, before stepping out of the room. 

Now that both kids were fast asleep, he slowly headed back down the stairs. Thankfully, his stairs were new and didn’t make any creaking sounds as you walked down them, so he didn’t have to worry about waking anyone up. 

He walked into the kitchen, seeing Niall was now leaning against the counter top, typing away on his phone. He had a small frown on his lips, a sign that he was either unhappy about something or concentrating. 

Harry walked past him, straight for the tea kettle. Thankfully, he always had tea ready, so all he had to do was pour the hot liquid into his mug, before placing the small tea bag inside of it. 

“Hey Haz,” Niall said, smiling up at his friend. “How was your nap?”

Harry shrugged. “It was good. I definitely needed to sleep, so I just felt like I was out cold for several hours,” he explained. “But thanks for looking after Allie and Robbie while I was out.”

“Oh, Harry. You don’t have to thank me for looking after my godchildren,” Niall said, waving him off. “They’re angels, especially when you get some sugar into their systems.”

“Yeah, Allie is going to be wild tomorrow,” he said with a small laugh. “I’ll have to take them somewhere to burn off all their energy. But anyway, what’s up?”

“What do you mean?” Niall asked with a frown. 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Niall, I’ve known you for ten years. I can tell when somethings up with you,” he said. “Now tell me what’s going on?”

Niall hesitated, biting his lip. “It’s not good,” he said after a little while. 

“Well duh, of course it’s not,” Harry said. “Tell me anyway.”

The irish man frowned even more, before opening his phone again. “Liam was just messaging me. I thought it was kinda weird since we’ve barely talked in the past year, but I assumed it was something to do with Syco.”

“Yeah?” Harry prompted, leaning against his counter as well. 

Niall nodded. “Yeah. After the call last night, he’s been talking with his manager. They think that Syco is planning a reunion and that they’ve already made the contract.”

Harry paused for a minute, before leaning against his counter and sighing heavily. “Of course it isn’t just a meeting,” he muttered. “I bet the contract is already made up and ready for us to sign.”

“That’s what Liam thinks as well,” Niall said nodding. 

Harry groaned, massaging his temples. “This is just great. Just fantastic,” he muttered angrily. “Of course they already have a contract for us. This is so bloody amazing.”

Niall sensed his friend’s distress, and quickly stepped in. “Hey, we don’t have to talk about it again right now. Just forget I said anything.”

Harry just sighed again. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“I know, but we don’t have to talk about it now. Let’s just… let’s do something right now. You wanna watch a movie? Or we can just scroll through Netflix? Or, you know, we could cuddle if you want…” Niall said. 

Harry shook his head. “No, Niall. You’ve already done a lot for me today, you don’t need to stay any longer.”

“Haz, you’re my best friend,” Niall declared. “I’m staying here if you need me to be here, you’re not a bother to me or anything. I care about you.”

Harry moved his hands so that he could look at his friend, and flashing him a smile. “Thank, Ni,” he said. “But you really don’t have to stay. You have the date with that girl tonight. Amelia or something, remember?”

Niall was already herding Harry towards the couch. “I already cancelled that, Haz,” he said softly. 

“What? Niall!” Harry exclaimed, looking at his friend with wide eyes. “You can’t cancel your dates to spend every night with me! I’m seriously fine.”

“I know, Hazza. But with everything that happened, I don’t really feel like going out tonight anyway,” he said. “I’d rather just stay in with you tonight.”

“Niall…” Harry said, frowning. 

But Niall brushed him off again, leading the two of them towards the huge living room again. “It’s fine, H. Really, we’re going to reschedule. Tonight just wasn’t the right night and I didn’t even want to. So let’s just stop arguing about it and watch a movie.”

Harry wanted to continue arguing, but he was too worn out. Despite having a several hour long nap, he was still exhausted and couldn’t find the energy to argue with his friend anymore. So he just sighed and slumped into the couch. 

“Fine. But we’re not done here,” he mumbled, curling in on himself into the large, grey couch cushions. 

Niall didn’t reply, just went and sat down on the couch next to his friend. He grabbed the remote and started clicking through Netflix on the huge flat screen TV. 

“What do you want to watch tonight? Feel like a movie?” He suggested. 

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know if I have enough energy to watch a whole movie,” he admitted tiredly. “Can we maybe watch a show instead?”

“Of course. Grey’s Anatomy it is,” Niall answered, already typing the show into search. 

He clicked onto the episode that the two of them had left off on last time, and then he settled into the couch. Niall leaned back into the cushions, bringing his arms along the headrest of the couch. 

Harry snuggled into his friend’s side almost instantly, resting his head onto the blond’s shoulder. It was maybe considered odd among some people to snuggle up with their friends, but neither boys thought so. It had just become a natural thing for them to do, starting way back to when they had been in One Direction. 

As the show continued, both boys fell silent. They watched in silence for a few episodes, until it started to get late. By then they were both exhausted and decided to head off to bed. 

Niall headed off to the main guest bedroom, which he always stayed in when he slept over. It was practically his bedroom now, since he slept there more than anyone. The other one was mainly used for Anne, Harry’s mother, whenever she stayed over. 

Harry then staggered over to the master bedroom, feeling completely tired out. He didn’t bother with pajamas, opting to just strip down to his boxers, before climbing into bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so freaking amazing!! I love you all from the bottom of my heart ❤️

The next few days passed quicker than Harry would have liked. Between stressing constantly over the meeting and also looking after two crazy four year olds, he barely had time for anything else. 

Of course, he knew that there was only a week until he had to go to the actual meeting, but it seemed like everything seemed to already be changing. 

First of all, he had gotten a text from Liam. Harry was a little surprised at this, but not really at the same time. He knew that Liam had already texted Niall, and probably had messaged the other boys as well, so it wasn’t surprising that he also reached out to Harry. 

If anyone was going to be reaching out first, it was obviously going to be Liam. The guy was really friendly, and probably wanted to make things better between the boys, especially if they were going to be reuniting. 

So Harry wasn’t too surprised when he got a text from Liam, asking if he wanted to meet up sometime soon. Liam also lived in LA (all the boys did) so he suggested getting lunch or something together. 

Harry didn’t really know what to say at first. Sure, sometimes he missed Liam and Zayn since he hardly ever saw them, but he was also nervous. It seemed like he was going down a slippery slope by getting together with his former bandmates. A slippery slope that would lead to an eventual reunion. 

But despite this, he had accepted to meet up for lunch. 

So that was how Harry ended up standing at the Beachwood Cafe that morning, three days before he had to go to the meeting that would decide his future. 

He was sitting at a table by himself, glancing around the cafe every few minutes as he typed on his phone. He had arrived ten minutes early out of pure anxiety, wanting to be there before Liam arrived. 

He had already ordered his coffee and was now just waiting for it to arrive as he waited for Liam. He was texting his mum, who was watching Allie and Robbie to kill time. 

The small bell above the cafe gave a small jingle, and Harry looked up at the sound. He saw a tall, strong man walk into the cafe. He had gelled brown hair and some stubble and was wearing a pair of black sunglasses. It was Liam. 

Liam walked into the cafe, glancing around it quickly before his eyes landed on Harry. 

Harry didn’t know what to think. Liam looked almost the same, just older. But they hadn’t talked in over a year and Harry didn’t exactly know what he was supposed to do. Hug him? Give him a handshake? Not do anything?

But before the curly haired lad could even consider it further, Liam’s face had broken into a huge smile and he was rushing across the cafe. Harry didn’t have time to react before Liam was grabbing him and pulling him into a bone crushing hug. 

“Harry!” He exclaimed joyfully, squeezing the smaller man. “I’ve missed you!”

“Hey Liam,” Harry choked out, smiling as he wrapped his own arms around the man. “I’ve missed you too.”

Liam finally let him go, taking off his sunglasses to study the curly haired boy up and down. “You look good,” he said, smiling as they took a seat. “It’s really been a long time since we’ve seen each other.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Harry said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ve just been pretty busy lately. Haven’t had much free time.”

Liam nodded, waving it off. “Oh, yeah. I get that. I’ve been busy too with my boyfriend Ollie and our son Bear. Life just happens,” he said easily. “I’m just glad that we could do this today.”

“Yeah, me too,” Harry mumbled. 

They both paused their conversation when the lady came over with Harry’s coffee. She placed it down in front of him and then quickly took Liam’s order, before going away again and leaving the two guys alone. 

“So, what have you been up to recently?” Liam asked politely. 

Harry hummed. “I’ve been doing quite a bit of writing. I don’t know if it’s for an album or anything yet, but I’ve written a few songs that could be used in the future,” he said. “I finished up the Fine Line tour a few months ago as well, so that was fun.”

Liam nodded. “Nice,” he said. “So besides music, what have you been up to? Are you dating anyone at the moment?”

Harry frowned, shaking his head. “No,” he admitted. “I’m not really… dating isn’t really something I’m prioritizing right now. I mean, I’ve gone on a few dates, but no one serious or anything.”

Liam hummed. “Yeah, I get that,” he said. “I probably wouldn’t be prioritizing it now either. I wasn’t really looking for someone when I met Ollie, it was just kinda by chance.”

“That’s great!” Harry said with a smile. “I’ve seen a few pictures on social media. You two look really cute together. And Bear is getting so big!”

“Yeah, he is,” Liam said with a fond look in his eyes. “His seventh birthday is in a few days. It’s crazy how fast he’s growing up. You should definitely come meet him some time. All of the boys could.”

“Yeah, I’d love to meet him,” Harry said, ignoring the part where he mentioned all of the boys going over together. “He looks adorable. How’s Ollie doing?”

“He’s good- he’s great, actually,” Liam said, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks at the mention of his boyfriend. “He’s only been moved in with us for a few months, but it’s really amazing having him there. He’s great around the house and Bear absolutely loves him.”

Harry smiled, feeling genuinely happy for his old friend. “That’s really great. I’m so happy for you,” he said to Liam. 

Liam gave him a small, sad smile. “Thanks, Haz,” he said softly. “You’ll get that too someday.”

Harry just brushed it off. “Anyway,” he said, completely ignoring the comment. “How’s everything been going music wise? Any surprise album coming out anytime soon?”

“Not all of us can put out record breaking music as fast as you, Harry!” Liam said with a light hearted laugh. “And no, no album is coming out just yet. LP1 just came out last year, so I just started writing again.”

“That’s great,” Harry said. “Maybe we should collaborate sometime. We can do a writing session sometime together and maybe release a single?”

Liam just smiled. “Are you sure you aren’t getting too big to collaborate with me?” He asked teasingly. “Big fancy popstar now, aren’t you, Styles?”

“Never,” Harry said with a smirk. 

“Then yes,” Liam said. “Maybe we should have a writing session sometime.”

Liam’s coffee arrived shortly, and the pair of them continued talking together for a while longer. It was only supposed to be a short coffee meeting, since Liam had to pick up Bear from baseball practise eventually. 

They talked about random things, from music to friends to everything else. Liam was a little surprised to learn that Niall and Harry were still best friends, as he didn’t think any of the band had stuck together. 

Harry was a little surprised as well to learn that Liam had gone clubbing a few times with Louis and Zayn. It was only a few times and it had been a few months ago, but he was surprised nonetheless. He had sort of assumed that none of them had been in contact with one another.

Liam talked a lot about Bear, his son. He always got this look of adoration in his eyes whenever he talked about the boy, and Harry found it hard not to talk about his own kids. 

But he knew that he couldn’t. If he mentioned Allie and Robbie to Liam, then soon everyone would know. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Liam, but he wasn’t ready to risk the band finding out that he had kids- let alone _Louis’_ kids. So he said nothing. 

They didn’t talk about the meeting either, probably because Liam didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward and Harry wasn’t going to bring it up. He knew that Liam was tiptoeing around the subject of the band, and he wasn’t being subtle about it. 

Whenever he would mention Zayn or Niall, he would just say it like normal. But whenever he would mention Louis, he wouldn’t even say his name. He would just say something like, ‘one of the guys, I don’t remember who it was.’ Not that Harry was complaining. 

But soon the coffee meeting was over and it was time for Liam to go pick up Bear. The two of them quickly said goodbye, even hugging again and promising to meet up again soon. Then they both headed off into seperate directions. 

Harry enjoyed his time with Liam, more than he thought he would. The conversation just seemed to flow normally, almost as if they hadn’t been apart for over a year. It was like they just sort of jumped back to the way things were before. 

Harry was driving home from the cafe in his Mercedes car when his phone started ringing. He picked it up with a frown, before checking the caller ID. It was Jeffrey. 

“Hello?” Harry asked as he answered the call, still frowning. 

_“Hey Harry,”_ Jeffrey said from the other end. 

“Hello Jeffrey,” Harry said, trying to keep his tone light. “What’s up?”

_“Well, I think we need to have a talk together. Is now a good time?”_

Harry frowned even more, checking the time on his car. “Uh, yep. Now should be good. I’m just on my way home right now, but I’m free to talk for a while.”

_“Great,”_ Jeffrey said. “ _I’ll just cut right to the chase. I know that Syco called you earlier this week to set up a meeting for you and the other boys. They called me as well.”_

“Mhm, they did,” Harry answered honestly. “They said that they wanted to talk about the future of One Direction. Do you have any idea of what that means?”

_“Actually, not really,”_ Jeffrey admitted. _“I wish there was more that I could tell you, but they kept everything very brief. But me and the team think that they might be calling you to set up a reunion of some kind.”_

“Yeah, Niall thought so too,” Harry said. “What do you want me to do about it?”

_“Well, we’ve been thinking this through as to find out what would be in your best interest to do. And, as you know, we’re only a temporary contact. Syco can end our contract at any time, so there’s a chance that we could be dropped during the meeting.”_

“You think they’re going to terminate my contract with you?!” Harry exclaimed, shocked. “But they can’t do that! Not if…”

_“They can do that, Harry,”_ Jeffrey said coolly. “ _We’re operating underneath Syco, and they can terminate our contract any way they want, especially since you’re still under contract with them.”_

“But not for long. I won’t be under contract with them for long. My Syco contract ends in a few weeks, so I won’t be under them anymore.”

_“But we still will be. Me and the team are still signed to Syco. Even after your contract ends, our contract is still intact for the next few years. So if they do decide to drop us, which we think they will, we’re done.”_

Harry could barely believe his ears. He was gripping the steering wheel tightly, his mouth pressed into a tight line. “This isn’t fair!” He yelled angrily. “They can’t do this!”

_“Harry, they can and will do this,”_ Jeffrey said. “ _We’re just calling you to let you know ahead of time so that you can be prepared.”_

“What do you want me to do?” Harry asked desperately. “When the meeting comes. What should I be doing? Tell me Jeffrey, because I’m completely lost and I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

He could hear Jeffrey hesitating on the other end of the phone, as if he was unsure of what he should say. _“I think…”_ he said slowly, after a few moments of silence. “ _I think you should do what they want.”_

“Do what they want!?” Harry exclaimed. “But-but I can’t do that! They’ll want you to drop me and then they’ll want me to sign another contract with them! Then they’ll want the band to reunite, and I can’t do that!”

_“Harry, you asked for my opinion and I gave it to you,”_ Jeffrey said, calmly despite the other man’s tone. _“I think it’s in your best interest to do as they say. One Direction was never actually meant to be broken up forever.”_

“Yeah, well I wasn’t supposed to have gotten pregnant with my ex’s babies,” Harry spat angrily. “Things don’t work out the way they’re supposed to in real life, Jeffrey.”

He heard Jeffrey sigh tiredly from the other end. _“Harry, this is what I think is best for you,”_ he said. “ _You asked, and I told you. Once Syco suspends your contract with us, there won’t be anyone else to sign you. You could fall out of the music industry.”_

“But I can’t sign again with them. I can’t,” Harry mumbled. 

_“I know you think that, Harry. But you’re strong. You can do it,”_ the manager said comfortingly. “ _Harry Styles is not a quitter. Syco plays dirty and they don’t play by the rules. They have ways to make you sign with them if you resist. So that’s why I’m saying that you should do it without struggle. Because they can make your life hell all over again.”_

_***_

Harry walked into his house, running a hand over his face tiredly. After the disastrous call with his manager, he had an even worse feeling about the upcoming meeting. He just knew that deep down, nothing was going to go the way he wanted in the end. 

He sighed to himself. Basically, he knew that he’d have to sign again with Syco. They would find a way to make him, and it would not be pretty. He had a feeling that either things were about to be horrible. 

Harry placed his keys onto the counter, before glancing around the house. He frowned a little confusion when he didn’t see any small four year olds running towards him. Allie and Robbie usually tackled him with hugs whenever he came home from somewhere. 

“Allie! Robbie!” Harry called, walking through the house. “Are you here?”

He looked for a little while longer, before he started to get concerned. He had left the two kids with Gemma to look after them, but none of them could be found in the house. Not even upstairs in their bedrooms or anything. 

Harry was about to call his sister and ask where they were when he heard a splash and a squeal coming from outside. He slipped his phone back into his pocket, before heading towards the sound. 

The curly haired singer pushed open the sliding glass doors, before heading out into the backyard. He instantly was met by the cute sight of his children. 

Allie was screaming in laughter as she canon balled into the pool, decked out in her swimsuit and life jacket. She was laughing wildly, her brown curls soaked and messy. She had just jumped into the pool when Harry walked out, resurfacing a second later. 

Robbie meanwhile was sitting in the shallow end of the pool, wading around and kicking his little feet a little. He was also wearing water wings as he played in the water more calmly, swishing his hands in the water. 

Gemma was sitting on the stairs next to them, wearing her own swimsuit and sunglasses as she cheered again for Allie.   
  
“Good job, Al!” She exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “That was one of the best ones today! You’re gonna be a diver in no time!”

“Yay!” Allie giggled happily, kicking her legs as she floated in her lifejacket. “I wanna be a mermaid!”

“I wanna be a mermaid too!” Robbie added, kicking his legs in the shallow end. “Am I doing good too, auntie Gemma? Am I a mermaid too?”

Harry smiled warmly, closing the glass door as he stepped out. “You're doing great too, Robbie,” he said as he walked towards them. “And good jumping Allie! Just be careful.”

“Daddy!” Allie yelled excitedly. “Look, I can show you my jump! Watch, daddy, watch!”

The girl swam over to the edge of the pool, before hauling herself out of the water. She then stood up, and ran over to the diving board. “Watch me, daddy!” She exclaimed. “Are you watching?”

“I’m watching, love,” Harry said, smiling as he flashed a thumbs up. 

The small girl gave him a toothy grin as she stepped onto the diving board. Allie, ever the dramatic, made sure to make a big deal about it. She gave her butt a little wiggle, before jumping into the pool again. 

Harry gave a loud cheer when she resurfaced. “Woo hoo!” He cheered, clapping his hands together. “Good job, sweetie! That was great!”

“Thanks daddy!” Allie yelled, wiping the water out of her bright green eyes. “Watch me do it again!”

Harry smiled at his daughter, before walking over to the shallow end of the pool, where Robbie and Gemma were both sitting. He headed over to them, before taking a seat on the edge of the pool, letting his feet rest in the water. 

“Hi daddy,” Robbie said, smiling at Harry happily. “Did you have fun with your friend?”

Harry’s heart melted at his sweet boy, who’s first instinct was to ask how he had been. “It was great, love,” Harry answered. “Are you having fun?”

Robbie nodded his head up and down. “Yup. I like swimming,” he said, splashing his feet around in the water. “Wanna come swim with me?”

Harry smiled. “Sure, love. I just have to go get my swimsuit first,” he said. He then turned to Gemma. “Can you watch them for one more minute while I go change?”

She nodded, waving him off. “Yeah, of course,” Gemma answered easily. “You go get changed and I’ll swim with them a minute longer.”

Harry smiled at his sister, placing a quick peck to her cheek. “Thanks, Gem. You’re the best,” he said quickly, before rushing into the house to get changed. 

Harry was quick to slip on his swim trunks and to take off his shirt, before he was hurrying back to the pool. It was mid summer, so it was blazing hot in LA. A dip in his backyard pool sounded heavenly to his hot body. 

He walked back outside only a minute later, seeing the two kids still splashing around happily. He smiled at the sight of them, before making his way to the stairs. 

“It’s pretty hot out, you wanna stay for a little while?” He asked his sister. 

Gemma shook her head. “Actually, I have to get going,” she explained. “Drew’s at a friend’s house, but he’s going to be done soon and I have to go pick him up.”

“Oh, okay then,” Harry said, nodding. “But sometime soon you should bring Micheal and Drew around for a barbeque and a swim.”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Gemma said, already getting out of the pool. “By the way, how did things go with Liam?”

“You know, as good as they could have gone,” Harry replied with a small shrug as he watched Allie swim a few feet away. “It was pretty good. It kinda felt like things had never changed between us. It was kinda scary actually.”

Gemma nodded understandingly. “I get that. But this is a good thing. No matter what happens at the meeting in a few days, I think that it would be good for you to have the boys back in your life.”

Harry hummed. “Maybe…” he murmured. 

“Ok then, I’ll see you soon, Haz,” Gemma said, making her way out of the pool. “Bye Robbie! Bye Allie!”  
  


“Bye auntie Gemma!” Allie called. Robbie just waved a small hand at her. 

“See you soon, Gem,” Harry said with a smile, waving goodbye to his sister. She waved back at them, before leaving. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone!!! Ahhhh! I swear, Directioners really are the best fandom. Love you all so much!

“I changed my mind,” Harry announced into his phone. “I’m not going to the meeting. And that’s final. Syco can suck it.”

_ “Harry, we’ve already had this conversation,”  _ Niall said, sounding exasperated. “ _ We’re going to this meeting. Maybe we won’t make any decisions, but we’re still going to the meeting.” _

“I don’t want to,” Harry said stubbornly. “I am not going to this stupid meeting. I’m Harry Styles, and I can decide if I want to go to a meeting or not. And I don’t want to.”

_ “Haz, please,”  _ Niall begged. “ _ I’m almost at the Syco facility. The other guys are probably already there. Even Zayn is going to the meeting, for crying out loud! You can’t be the only who’s not going.” _

Harry whined pathetically. “But Niall,” he moaned. “I don’t wanna. If I go, then I’m going to have to sign another stupid contract and I’m going to have to see you-know-who.”

_ “Harry, you’re not planning on spending your whole life avoiding Louis, are you?”  _ Niall asked, sounding unimpressed.  _ “He’s your ex. I get that it was a bad breakup, but you’re going to have to face him at some point.” _ _   
  
_

“He’s not just an ex. It wasn’t just a breakup,” Harry murmured cooly. “He was my whole life and then he left me for someone else. Don’t compare him to ‘just an ex.’”

He heard Niall sigh from the other end of the phone.  _ “I know, I’m sorry,”  _ he murmured. “ _ But you’re going to have to face him at some point or another. You can’t let him dictate your life anymore.” _

“He’s not dictating my life!” Harry frowned. “I’m not making my decisions based on Louis anymore!”

_ “Haz, can you honestly tell me that he isn’t the main reason that you’re avoiding this meeting?”  _ the irish lad asked. Harry fell silent, causing Niall to sigh again.  _ “Harry, it’s just a meeting. Can’t you sit in the same room as him for just a few minutes?” _

Harry didn’t even miss a beat, before replying. “No.”

_ “Harry, please. It’s just a meeting. Can’t you please just sit through one meeting? If not for you, then for me? Won’t you come to the meeting for me?”  _ Niall begged, his voice desperate. 

Harry wanted to say no. He really, really wanted to say no. But it was really hard when Niall was pleading like that. He found that he just couldn’t deny the blond man when he did that. 

“Ugh, fine, Niall,” Harry groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand. “But just for you and just this one meeting. And I’m not talking to you-know-who.”

He heard Niall brighten instantly.  _ “Thanks Haz! You’re the best!”  _ He said happily. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry mumbled. “I’m only going to this one meeting, and I’m going to hate it either way. And I’m not going to talk to  _ him.” _

_ “Of course. I won’t make you talk to Louis if you don’t want to,”  _ Niall said understandingly. “ _ You won’t regret this, Harry.” _ __   
  


“I’m already regretting this,” Harry mumbled with a frown. 

_ “Ah, you’ll live with it. Remember, you’re doing this for me,”  _ Niall reminded him.  _ “Now, I’m almost at Syco, but I can probably buy you some time if you need to find a babysitter for Allie and Robbie.” _

Harry shook his head. “Nah, you don’t need to do that. I already called Cecilia and asked if she could watch them for a few hours, just in case. I’m just going to drop them off there and then come.”

“ _ Alright then, Haz. See you then,”  _ Niall said, before hanging up. 

Harry sighed to himself, rubbing a hand over his face. He already had a bad feeling about the meeting, and he was really regretting agreeing to going. He just knew that whatever was going to happen was going to be bad. 

“Allie! Robbie!” He called, walking into the downstairs playroom. “Come here, please!”

The two children were in the middle of playing together in the playroom, looked up in confusion at being called. But they jumped up and ran over. 

Harry heard a little bit of shuffling around, before two pairs of feet were running towards him. Both twins came running out of the playroom and towards their father, looks of confusion on their little faces. 

“What is it, daddy?” Robbie asked, running straight into Harry’s arms. His little eyebrows were furrowed in the middle of his forehead, and Harry couldn’t resist giving it a tiny kiss. 

“Daddy has a meeting that I have to go to right now, so you two are going to head over to Mrs. Davis’ house for a little bit,” Harry explained, leading his two kids towards the door. 

“No daddy! Not Mrs Davis’ house!” Allie exclaimed, pouting already. “I don’t like it there! She’s old and boring and smells like fish!”

Harry fixed his daughter with a stern look. “Allie Tomlinson, that is not a very nice thing to say,” he said sternly. “Mrs Davis is very nice and she’s going to be watching you for a little while. And I don’t want to hear you say anything mean about her again.”

“But I don’t wanna go!” Robbie whimpered, grabbing onto Harry’s pant leg. “Please don’t make me go, daddy! Can we come to your meeting?”

Harry bent down, patting his son on the head softly. “Not today, baby,” he replied. “I can’t bring you to this meeting, but don’t worry. It won’t take very long, and you’re going to have so much fun with Mrs Davis.”

“But we wanna stay with you!” Allie whined. “We don’t wanna go to Mrs Davis’ house! Please take us with you!”

Harry bent down, scooping the small girl into his arms. “Not today, princess,” he said softly, running a hand through her curls. “Daddy has to go to this meeting alone. But maybe next time you can come.”

“Can we stay with auntie Gemma instead? Or uncle Niall?” Robbie asked with big, glassy, blue eyes. 

Harry also grabbed Robbie into his other arm, placing a soft kiss onto his head. “Not this time, love. Uncle Niall has to go to the meeting too, and auntie Gemma is busy today,” he explained. “But Mrs Davis is going to look after you.”

“I don’t wanna go,” Robbie said, clinging onto Harry as he wrapped his small arms around his father’s neck. 

“You have to this time, baby,” Harry said, already opening the front door. “And you’re going to be good for Mrs Davis. I don’t want to hear that you two were trouble, okay?”

“‘Kay, daddy,” Allie grumbled, stomping down the steps. Harry rolled his eyes at his daughter’s antics. Ever the sassy one in the family. 

He led his two kids across their front lawn of the house, over to the next door over. Cecilia Davis was an elderly woman who lived next door to them. She had lived there long before Harry had even moved in, and she had always been lovely. 

Mrs Davis was sweet and nice, but Allie was never too fond of her. Mostly because the young girl always wanted to climb and jump and play, but Cecelia always encouraged more leisurely activities whenever she watched the kids. But other than that, she was great with them and often enjoyed looking after them whenever Harry needed a last minute babysitter. 

He walked over to the front door, before ringing the doorbell. He nudged Allie gently when he caught the four year old making faces at the house. 

Mrs Davis opened the door only a minute later, her face breaking into a huge smile. “Oh, hello dears!” She exclaimed happily, holding her arms out for a hug. Robbie hesitantly allowed the elderly woman to hug him, while Allie just made a face. 

“Hello Mrs Davis,” Harry said with a soft smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to watch them so last minute.”

Cecelia brushed him off, her smile never wavering. “Oh, it’s no problem at all, Harry love,” she said. “It’s never a problem with these little angels! But may I ask dear, where are you going this late?”

“I’m going to a meeting,” Harry said simply. “It shouldn’t be more than a few hours, but I don’t think I’ll be back before bedtime at seven thirty. I know it’s late, can you still watch them until then?”

“Yes, yes. Of course I can still watch them. You go now,” Cecelia said, shooing him off. “I don’t want to make you late! Go, go!”

Harry gave her one last smile, before kneeling down so that he was level with his two kids. “I have to go now, okay?” He said. “But I’ll see you both soon. Remember to be good.”

“We will,” Robbie said. Allie nodded in agreement. 

Harry smiled, before pulling his children over. He pressed a quick kiss to their cheeks, ruffling their hair. “Okay, I love you.”

“I love you too, daddy,” Allie answered, wrapping her arms around the man one last time before pulling away. 

“Bye bye, daddy. I love you,” Robbie said. 

Harry stood up, flashing his two kids a final smile. “See you,” he said, turning around and heading towards his car. He always hated leaving his kids, but he also knew that he had to do it from time to time, especially when it came to his job. 

Harry pulled out of his driveway in his white Mercedes sports car. He sighed to himself as he drove by, plastering on a smile and waving to Allie and Robbie. Then he was off. 

***

Harry pulled into the Syco parking lot ten minutes later. There was only one spot left in the small parking lot, and it was next to a steel coloured porsche. Harry, despite the situation, couldn’t help but admire the car as he pulled in. 

‘ _ It’s okay, you got this,’  _ Harry thought to himself, taking a deep breath as he parked. ‘ _ It’s just a meeting. All you have to do is sit there and listen to what they have to say. You can do this.’ _

But he couldn’t stop the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. It made him feel sick and nervous at the same time, and he hated every second of it. He just wanted to kneel over and vomit at the thought of having to sit in a meeting with Syco. With the boys. With Louis. 

But despite this, Harry opened his car door and got out. Then he forced his legs to move towards the building. 

Harry walked into the huge lobby and could feel his palms start to sweat. His eyes darted around the room, seeing that nothing had changed. Everything was the same as it was when he had last been there five years ago. 

‘ _ Deep breaths, Harry,’  _ he reminded himself. He forced himself to suck in a slow inhale, before letting it all out again. He did that a few more times, trying to calm his racing heart. 

He didn’t need to go to reception to ask where the room was. He had been there so many times that he knew the room by memory and how to get to it. His legs were practically moving on their own accord as he walked down the hall. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know no one really reads these, but if you are, I just wanted to say a huge thank you. I love you so much!

Harry took a deep breath when he reached the door. Every fiber in his body was telling him to turn around, to run and never look back. But his legs didn’t want to move, like they were planted into the carpeted floor. He found that he couldn’t move. 

His phone binged inside of his pocket, startling the curly haired man. He frowned, picking up the small device from his pant pockets and glancing down at it. Niall had texted him. 

_ Where are you? Everyone is here and we’re about to start the meeting. You ok? _

Harry nearly barked out a laugh. ‘You ok?’ Seriously? No, Harry was not, in fact, okay. He was completely losing his shit in the hallway. He wasn’t okay. He was the opposite of okay. 

But the text was what brought him back to reality, which he was grateful for. He now found that he could breathe properly and wasn’t on the verge of running. It was also what forced him to lift his hand and push open the daunting door. 

Harry’s breath nearly hitched in his throat as he opened the door. Everyone in the room all simultaneously looked up at him, staring at the twenty four year old. Like they were expecting him to do something. 

‘ _ Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic,’  _ Harry mentally chanted to himself. He forced his face to become neutral (or what he hoped looked neutral) as he looked around the room. 

He instantly wished he hadn’t. Sitting across the room, in all of his intimidating-ness, was the one person he didn’t want to see. Icy blue eyes were staring right back at him, causing shivers to shivers to erupt along Harry’s spine. 

But he couldn’t look away. The blue eyes were entrancing,  _ captivating.  _ He couldn’t look away from them, they were holding him in place. Harry swallowed thickly, finding it harder and harder to breathe as the blue eyes surveyed him slowly, raking down his frame.

Harry wanted to do something. He wanted to turn around and run, he wanted to jump into the strong arms, he wanted to scream and cry, he wanted to yell and scream. But he couldn’t. He was weak to those blue eyes, and he couldn’t do anything. 

“Ah, Mr Styles,” A voice said, cutting through the tension like a knife. Harry’s head snapped over in surprise. He had forgotten that anyone else was there. 

It was a familiar, burly man. He had slicked back, black hair and blue eyes. Not the kind of blue that Robbie had, oh no. They were cold and unforgiven eyes. The kind that gave small children nightmares. It was James, their old manager. 

“Hope we’re not interrupting some kind of, ahem,  _ reunion,”  _ James said, his nose crinkling in disgust as his eyes darted from Harry and Louis. Harry felt sick to his stomach. “But we have a meeting to get to. A meeting that you were  _ late  _ for.”

Harry couldn’t help it. He cast his eyes nervously downwards out of habit. “Sorry,” he murmured, shifting his feet back and forth. 

James scoffed unkindly. “Yeah, well don’t make a habit of it. I won’t be standing for any irresponsible behavior anymore. Either get yourself in check or we’ll do it for you.”

The sick feeling in Harry’s stomach only intensified. Memories flashed quickly before his eyes, causing him to swallow thickly. “Yes James. Sorry,” he said again. “I won’t do it again.”

“He was three minutes late,” Liam snapped. Harry looked up at him in surprise, not expecting anyone to have defended him. Liam was sitting in the seat next to Zayn, narrowing his eyes at James. “Only three minutes.”   
  
“Three minutes is expensive. And I would appreciate it if you held your tongue, Mr Payne,” the manager said with a frown. “Mr Styles should have been here three minutes  _ early  _ if he knew what was good for him.”

“I’m sorry, James,” Harry mumbled again, keeping his eyes downcast, hardly daring to look up. 

“Good,” James said. He turned over his wrist, looking at his watch, before tutting in disapproval. “Well Styles, you’ve wasted enough time. Take a seat beside Mr Horan and we will start.”

Harry nodded silently, thanking every god that he could think of that the only empty seat was next to Niall. He shuffled over to the table, where Niall was smiling encouragingly at him as he patted the seat. 

As Harry sat down in the seat, he noticed that there were quite a few people. Liam, Zayn, Niall, James, Carol Hammonds, and several other people from Syco. And, of course,  _ he  _ was there. Harry didn’t even want to say his name. 

“Right, shall we start?” A lady said. She was obviously from Syco, as she was dressed professionally and was wearing a lanyard with a badge. Her badge read her name as ‘Tanya.’

But before any of them could continue,  _ he  _ was speaking. “What are we even here for?” Louis demanded, impatiently. 

James looked unimpressed. “You are here for a meeting. And we will get started if you would stop interrupting, Mr Tomlinson.”

“We want to know what this is about first,” Zayn said, quickly jumping to his former bandmate’s defence. “I’m not going to stay in this meeting if no one is going to tell us what this is even about.”

Carol cleared her throat. “As I said on the phone,” she said calmly. “We are here to discuss the future of One Direction.”

“But what does that mean?” Louis asked coldly. “We’re broken up. We’re not even a band anymore. What kind of ‘future’ could you possibly mean?”

“Mr Tomlinson, if you would hold your tongue, we can get this meeting started and all will be revealed,” James said, narrowing his eyes in the Doncaster’s direction. “We’re wasting precious management time.”

“Right, whatever. Let’s just get this over with,” Zayn said, nudging the blue eyed boy with his elbow. Louis grumbled a little under his breath, slumping against his chair, but he didn’t say anything else. 

Tanya cleared her throat. “Well, back to the meeting,” she said, folding her hands seriously. “As we said, we’re here to discuss the future of One Direction and what our plans for the band are going to be.”

“Yes,” a Syco man said with a nod. His nametag read as ‘Brice.’ “As you know, your contracts with Syco will be expiring in the next few months. But we have already made accommodations for a new one-”   
  


“Hang on,” Harry said sharply, interrupting the man. Everyone turned to look at him in mild surprise, but he didn’t notice. “Hang on. No. We don’t want a new contract. That’s not happening.”

“Styles,” James said coldly. “Your contract is nearly finished. We need you all to sign a new one so that we can carry on with our plans.”

But Harry wasn’t listening. He just shook his head. “No, no. We’re broken up. We’re not a band anymore. There’s no need for a new contract. We’re done. I’m not signing another contract.”

“That’s not your choice to make,” Tanya said, fixing Harry with a hard stare. “We’ve already decided that we’re not done with this band quite yet. You’re all going to sign a new contract.”

“How isn’t it our choice?” Niall snapped, and Harry was grateful that he at least had his best friend sticking up for him. “It’s our life. We can decide not to sign whatever we want. And if Harry doesn’t want to sign, then he doesn’t have to.”

Carol put her hands up in the air. “Can we all just calm down for a minute?” She asked slowly. “Just take a deep breath and listen. We have this all planned out.”

“Here’s the situation,” James said, leaning forward in his chair, a serious expression on his face. “We own you. You’re all still under contract with us, and therefore we can decide what you will and will not sign.”

“This can’t be legal!” Harry exclaimed, his eyes shooting over to the various Syco people around the table with wide eyes. “We don’t have to sign anything!”   
  


“Mr Styles, calm down,” James snapped. “You’ve already caused us enough problems. Control yourself. And this is legal, this is the music industry. We still own you.”

“Stop saying that,” Nial snapped. “We’re people. You don’t own us.”

“We do own you,” James answered, his glare never leaving Harry, causing him to stiffen uncomfortably. “You are all under contract with us and therefore, we still own you. And you will do as we say, because we are your shot in this industry and you will listen to us if you want to make it.”

“What makes you think we’ll sign? You gonna forge our signatures or something?” Louis asked, scoffing under his breath. 

James just smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Actually, we have other plans,” he said. “As of next week, you will all be dropped by all labels that you are involved in. any companies, any management and any corporations will all be terminating any contracts that they have with any of you.”

Harry had already known this, but the other apparently didn’t. The reaction was instantaneous. All four other boys instantly turned bright red and started shouting.    
  
“WHAT!?” Zayn yelled, gripping the table with tight, white knuckles. 

“You can’t do that!” Liam shouted, his face red with anger. 

“We can, and we are,” Tanya said with finality. “It’s already done and you should be expecting a call from your managers tomorrow.”

The boys looked ready to explode at any second. “We’ll be out of the job!” Liam shouted. 

“No you won’t. The new contract that you will be signing will start immediately after your old one ends,” Carol explained. “You won’t be out of the job so long as you listen to us and sign the contract.”

The five of them fell silent, each in their own silent thoughts. They all still looked angered by their realization, but were also deep in thought. Probably actually considering the offer. Harry, however, wasn’t buying it. 

“Umm, no,” he said, already pushing back his chair to stand up. “Sorry, but I don’t think so. I’m out.”   
  


“You won’t have a contract by the end of the week if you leave now. Not from us and not from anyone” Carol reminded him, which Harry could only roll his eyes at. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Not to be egotistical or anything, but I don’t actually need you guys. None of us need you anymore. I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s going to sign me and won’t be bullied by you. We’re successful artists now, and we don’t need to be bossed around.”

“Don’t you dare walk out of this room,” Tanya snapped quickly. “You can’t walk out on us. You’re still under contract with us and still have to do as we say.”

“Harry, sit down, please,” Niall murmured, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s knee. “Just sit down.”

“Why? There’s nothing to talk about,” Harry snapped, frowning at his friend. “Our contract is ending. I’m not signing another. They can intimidate our managers all they want, but they’re not going to intimidate me. I’m leaving.”

He was just standing up again, fully intending to walk right out of the room, when James spoke again. “We’ll sue,” he threatened. “If you march out of here, we’ll sue you for breaking your contract. Do you really need that?”

“I’ll survive,” Harry said with a scoff. “I have money, don’t even try and pretend that I don’t. I can find a damn good lawyer on my own.”

“I’m not signing either,” Zayn claimed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back into the seat. “I’m with Harry on this one. You can’t ruin our lives and then expect us to come running back with open arms.”

“Nobody ruined anyone’s life,” Brice defended with a frown. And Harry couldn’t help but bark out a humorless laugh, causing several people to shoot him hard stares. But he just ignored them. 

“Yeah right, is that what you tell yourselves every night before bed?” He sneered. “Don’t even pretend that you didn’t-” He cut himself off, inhaling shakily. “This is pathetic. You are all pathetic. And I’m out.”

He stood up for the third time, and this time, there wasn’t anyone stopping him. He had just gotten to the door when he heard James speaking yet again from behind him, stopping him in his tracks.    
  
“I really didn’t want to have to pull this card, Styles,” he drawled. “But you’re not leaving me much choice. If you don’t sign the new contract today, then we have no obligation to protect your rights anymore.”

Harry turned around slowly, a frown tugging at his lips. “What are you talking about?” He asked slowly, an increasingly bad feeling settling in his stomach. 

“What I’m saying,” James said, a wicked smile creeping onto his face. “Is that we won’t be protecting any confidential information for you anymore. And we wouldn’t be able to do anything if certain private information was to, I don’t know, be leaked to the public.”

Niall frowned. “What are you talking about? What does that even mean?”

“Let me put it this way,” James said, leaning forward and fixing Harry with a look. “Do the names Allison and Robbie mean anything to you?”

Harry froze, his mouth falling open. He blanched completely as his stomach dropped down to the ground. He tried to talk, but he couldn’t breathe anymore. The words just seemed to be caught in his throat and he couldn’t force them out. 

Thankfully, Niall was there. “What the hell!” He exploded in rage, slamming his hands down on the table. “Don’t you dare bring them into this! They have nothing to do with any of this!”

James just shrugged, unfazed by the reaction. “They have everything to do with this,” he stated simply. “If Harry isn’t going to sign the contract, then there won’t be anything keeping us from leaking this information. And believe me, there’s quite a bit to leak that I don’t think young Harry would appreciate having out in the open.”

Harry was struggling to breathe, his eyes impossibly wide. Allie and Robbie? What did Syco have to do with them? What kind of information do they have? Oh no. They must know about Louis. 

“Who are they?” Liam asked, furrowing his brow as he looked between Harry, Niall and James in confusion. “Who are Allison and Robbie and what do they have to do with the contract?”

James shrugged, before looking at Harry with an evil stare. “Do you want to tell them or shall I?” He asked innocently. 

“Bastard,” spat Harry, the venom dripping from his tone. He found his voice again, and he couldn’t help but feel enraged. “You can’t tell them anything. You can’t-” he had to cut himself off again to swallow thickly. 

“Are you going to sign?” James repeated, leaning forward. “Are you signing, Harry? Or are you going to forfeit your contract?”

As if on cue, Brice opened up a briefcase and took out a professional piece of paper. He smoothed it against the table, before placing a pen next to it. They didn’t have to look at it to know that it was the contract. 

Harry stared at the contract, clenching his shaking fists together. His lips were pressed into a tight, white line. He didn’t say anything as he watched the piece of paper carefully, wanting to do nothing more than rip it to shreds. 

He took a shaky step back. “I need some air,” he managed to gasp, before he was pushing open the door and stepping into the hall. He staggered forward a few feet, before slumping down against a wall. 

He instantly drew his knees into his chest, placing his head down on top of them. He knew that he must look pathetic, sitting only a couple feet from the door, curled into himself like that. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He heard a few loud voices coming from inside the room, his back pressed against the wall. He heard Niall yelling something, followed by a few more quieter voices. He knew that they were talking about him. 

Harry didn’t get up for a long time, staying seated in his position. His arms were wrapped protectively around himself, as if he was shielding himself from anything else in the room. But he couldn’t shield himself from his thoughts. 

And his mind was racing. He was replaying James’ words over and over again in his mind, always getting stuck on how he had practically  _ threatened  _ his children. He was also desperately trying to think of a way out, but kept drawing a blank. 

He was stuck in this real-life nightmare, and there was nothing he could do to end it. He couldn’t do anything to erase or change any of what was happening. And that was what was killing him. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there alone before the door was flung open and someone stalked out. The person paused for a moment, before noticing Harry against the wall and starting to walk towards him. 

Harry could only think of one person who could be coming to comfort him. 

“Niall?” He asked, lifting his head just enough to look at the person’s feet. But as soon as he did so, he frowned. Those shoes were too new and clean to be Niall’s. But if it wasn’t Niall, then who was it?

“Try again,” a raspier voice said, sounding tired. And much closer than Harry could have thought they were. 

Harry froze. He knew that voice. Of course he knew that voice. He had been in love with that voice for as long as he could remember. He had been missing that voice constantly for the past five years of his life. 

But he didn’t say that. “Louis?” He asked in shock, his head snapping upwards. Sure enough, it was Louis looking back down at him. 

He looked nearly the same as last time Harry had seen him. He had the same face and the same eyes. He assumed he still had the same smile as well, but he didn’t know for sure. The only thing that had changed was the stubble on his face. The other thing that had changed was that he wasn’t gazing fondly at him. 

“Right as always, Styles,” Louis answered, leaning against the wall casually. “Guess you haven’t gotten stupider after all.”

Harry didn’t rise to the bait. Instead he glared, trying to put as much heat as he could muster behind it. “What are you doing here?” He spat angrily. 

“Well, it is a band meeting. And if you can remember correctly, I was part of the band,” Louis stated easily. It was so casual that it was infuriating to the curly haired lad. 

“What are you doing out here? Why aren’t you in the meeting?” He snapped, tucking his head back into his knees. He didn’t care to even look at Louis, let alone talk to him. He just wanted to be alone, or maybe with Niall. 

Louis shrugged. “Nothing more to talk about until you come back,” he said. “James and the crew sent me out here. Seemed to think that I’d be able to bring you back in somehow. Don’t see how that’s going to happen, but whatever.”

“They should have sent Niall,” Harry couldn’t help but mutter. Sure, it sounded pathetic even to his own ears, but he was done entertaining Louis.

“Yeah? What are you two, best friends now or something?” He asked with a small snort. 

Harry found his toes curling in by the tone, and he couldn’t help but become sudden;y defensive. “We’ve always been friends,” he snapped angrily. “And we are best friends. And you don’t know anything, so you can just fuck off.”

“Ohh, got a potty mouth now as well?” The older man mused. “You’ve changed, you know that, Styles?”

“Don’t pretend to know anything about me,” Harry sneered. “You don’t know anything. You don’t know anything about me or what I’ve gone through, so stop acting like you do. You don’t.”

“Don’t know what you’ve gone through? What are you, some kind of victim?” Louis scoffed, and Harry could practically hear him roll his eyes. “Whatever. This is stupid. I just hope you get off your high horse sometime soon and make a damn decision about the contract.”

But despite everything else, Harry could still detect something behind Louis’ voice. Something different that didn’t sit well with him. Finally, it hit him. “You signed it?” He asked, his head finally looking up in shock. 

Louis looked down at him, pursing his lips before nodding. “Yeah,” he breathed, running a hand through his hair. “So did Zayn and Liam. Niall said that he wouldn’t do it until you did or some shit like that.”

“I’m not signing,” Harry said almost instantly. “I can’t. I just can’t do it again.”

“Yeah, well none of us can. Don’t act like you’re the only one who had a hard time with Syco last time around. We all suffered, but we still signed,” Louis snapped, his facade seeming to die down. “But you’re the only one out here sitting on the floor. You’re the only one acting like a complete coward.”   
  


“You can’t talk to me like that,” Harry snarled, standing up straight. But even when he was standing up to his full height, Louis still seemed to loom over him. Harry swallowed, taking in the intimidating height, before continuing. “You can’t just waltz back in here and talk to me like that.”

“Like what?” Louis challenged, narrowing his eyes. 

“Like you're mad at me. You don’t get to be mad at me. You don’t ever get to be even remotely mad at me. Not after what you did. You don’t get to-” He released a shaky breath, taking a deep breath. “You don’t get to be mad at me.”

Louis didn’t say anything for a long time, but something had changed behind his eyes. What was once pure anger and annoyance was now something different. Pity? Harry didn’t know, but he also didn’t care. 

“Fine,” Louis said after a few long moments. “But you’re still a coward. And you have to come back into that room. I don’t know what you’re going to choose, but no matter if you sign or not, you’re coming with me back into that room.”

“I don’t have to go anywhere with you,” Harry stated, but he could tell that he was losing this fight. But that was no reason to stop being petty. 

Louis sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Is this how it’s going to be like forever?” He groaned. “You’re coming into that room with me, and I don’t really care if I have to carry you in to do so. Either you can be a man about it, or you can be petty. It’s your choice.”

Harry hated it, he really did. He hated everything. He hated Syco. He hated James. He hated Louis. He hated Jeffrey. He hated the other boys. He hated himself. And he hated the entire situation. 

But nonetheless, he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his now dishevelled hair. “Fine,” he murmured, looking down at his feet. “I’ll go back in.”

Louis didn’t say anything else as Harry started moving towards the door again. He just silently trailed a few feet behind the curly haired singer as they walked into the room. 

Harry could feel everyone’s eyes on him as he stepped inside. They were all looking at him curiously, waiting to see what he was going to say. 

“I’ll sign,” Harry said, not even giving himself the chance to reconsider. “I’ll sign the damn contract. But nothing gets leaked and nothing ever gets leaked has to be part of the deal.”

“Done,” James said, already sliding the paper over to Harry with a triumphant smile on his face. 

“And I have a few conditions,” Harry said, lifting his chin up a little as he became braver. 

James exchanged glances with his team, before hesitantly asking, “what?”

“We get complete control over the writing process. And we get to decide what and what doesn’t get to go on the album. And we get more free time to see our family, no more constant all-nighters,” he said. 

James looked like he was about to argue, but Tanya beat him to it. “That can be arranged,” she interrupted, already sliding the paper down to him. 

Harry accepted the paper silently, placing it down in front of him. There were five name slots, ready for their signatures. He could clearly see that Louis, Liam and Zayn had already signed, but there was still his own empty spot, as well as Niall’s. 

He barely blinked before he was grabbing the pen and scribbling his signature onto the paper. 

“I’ll sign too,” Niall said, speaking up. He sounded determined. Someone handed him a second pen and he took the paper away from Harry once he was finished. In a matter of two seconds, he had also signed the paper. 

Someone took the paper from the and slid it back down the table and over to James. The manager accepted the paper greedily, a dark glint in his eyes. “Pleasure doing business with you, boys,” he said. 

Harry wanted to puke.  _ What had he done? _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points to you if you’re reading this. Just kidding... no one reads these :)
> 
> But if you are reading this, be prepared. This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for!!!

Harry had a bad feeling. No. Scratch that. Harry had a horrible feeling. He had a feeling that he had just made the worst decision of his life and that there was no turning back. He felt like shit. 

He barely stepped out of the meeting room before Niall’s arm was wrapping around him, pulling him into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be okay, everything is going to be alright,” he murmured soothingly. 

Harry couldn’t bring himself to believe those words, but he leaned into the hug nonetheless. Way back when they were younger and naive, they had done an interview where Niall had claimed to give the best hugs. And he had been right. Harry didn’t know where he’d be without those hugs. 

_ ‘Already half an hour into this band and I’m already having flashbacks,’  _ he thought miserably to himself. 

Only a few seconds later, the other boys started flitting out of the room. Harry hardly noticed tham at first, until they were practically gathered around the two boys.

“Is this some sort of exclusive hug, or are the rest of us free to join in?” Liam asked jokingly. But there was something tired and lingering that Harry could hear in the back of his voice.

“I’ll give you a hug, Lima Bean,” Louis teased lightly. He didn’t give Liam a chance to even consider it, before the Doncaster was throwing his arms around the bigger man. 

Harry pried himself away from Niall’s arms, shooting his friend a desperate look. “Let’s go,” he murmured quietly, hoping that Niall would be the only one who could hear him. He just really needed to get out of there as soon as possible. 

“Go?” Zayn asked, clearly hearing Harry quite clearly. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was staring over at Harry with a frown. “Why are you leaving now? What’s the big rush?”

Harry bit his lip nervously, swallowing thickly. “I just,” he stammered, thinking for any excuse other than his two four year olds. “I’m, uh, tired. Yeah, I’m tired. So I think I’m going go go home and, like, go to sleep…”

“You’re tired?” Liam asked, furrowing his brows. “But it’s only ten o’clock. Why are you so tired? Have you been working yourself too hard lately again?” He had a look of concern as he surveyed Harry. 

Harry was going to reply, when a familiar scoff beat him to it. “He’s twenty four,” Louis interrupted. “He  _ clearly  _ can look after himself.”   
  


“Don’t talk to him,” Niall stated, and Harry was beyond grateful for him. The blond man was standing up straight, glaring at Louis. 

But Louis wasn’t intimidated (he never was) and just raised a single eyebrow. “Well, news flash, leprechaun. We’re in the same back all over again so I’m going to have to start talking to him at some point.”

And as much as Harry hated and dreaded it, he knew that Louis was right. They were going to have to talk to each other. They were going to have to dance around on stage together. They were going to have to sit and be interviewed together. They were going to have to record together. And they were going to have to sleep on the same cramped tour bus together every night. 

“It’s fine, Ni,” Harry mumbled, shooting his friend a look out of the corner of his eye. “We’re all going to have to get over our shit at some point. All of us.”

Zayn frowned. “Well, that might take longer than Syco thinks. We have quite a lot of shit,” he commented, barely glancing between Louis and Harry, where they could already feel the tension building up. 

“Hmm, maybe we should go somewhere,” Liam suggested suddenly. “We do have quite a lot of shit that we need to sort out before jumping back into this band. We should go somewhere tonight.”

“Go somewhere? Like a pub or something?” Niall asked skeptically. 

Liam shook his head. “No, that’s too public. And it’s not the best place to talk and sort everything out. We should go to one of our houses. To keep it all, you know, private.”

“So basically you want us to all go to someone’s house for a super secret sleepover? So that we can talk about our feelings? Our deepest secrets and desires?” Louis snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, no. Count me out.”

“Lou,” Zayn said sternly, frowning at the Doncaster. “You’re one of the main reasons for a whole lot of our shit. You’re coming.” Harry knew that he was the other main reason. 

While Louis was scoffing again, Niall subtly pulled Harry over to him. “You good with this?” He asked quietly, making sure that no one could hear them. 

“Not really,” Harry whispered, running a hand over his face as he tried to get control over himself again. “I really don’t want to. But I suppose we have to if this is going to work.”

Niall didn’t say anything else, but squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. “We’re in too,” he said, speaking to the whole group of them now. 

Liam smiled. “Great,” he said. “So who’s house should we go to?”

“Not mine,” Zayn spoke up. “I mean, I’m sure it would be great to have you all over, but it’s way out in Miami. But I suppose I’ll have to go house hunting now in LA if this is going to happen.”

“Eleanor’s sick,” Louis said simply with a shrug. Harry felt the urge to vomit onto the floor even by the mention of her name. He didn’t, instead just stiffening. 

“Ok, so not Zayn and not Louis,” Niall said. “My place is under renovations right now. Some pipe burst or something. So we’re gonna have to go somewhere else if you don’t want to get soaked.”

“Bear is sleeping at home right now and Ollie is doing an important job call,” Liam explained. “So I guess that rules me out as well.”

As if on cue, all the boys turned to look expectantly at Harry. He looked at them in surprise, before he realized what was going on. “Oh, no. No, no, no,” Harry stammered instantly. “We can’t do it at my house.”

“Why not?” Zayn asked with a frown. “You’re the only one of us who’s still free.”

Harry had to think fast. He couldn’t bring the boys over to his house. He could not. Because if they came over to his house they’d see that he had bedrooms decorated for little kids and a playroom downstairs, not to mention the countless toys scattered all over. 

But he wasn’t going to tell them that. “We just can’t,” he said, more determined. 

Liam looked over at him, clearly unimpressed. “We have to. You’re the only one of us who can still bring us over. You live in LA and there’s no reason that your house is unavailable,” he said with a frown. “Unless you have a reason…”   
  


“My mum’s there,” Harry said hastily. “She’s, uh, staying over for a week.”

“So?” Louis said. “We like Anne.”

“She’s sick,” Harry added quickly. “She’s got quite a bad flu. And I wouldn’t want for anyone else to get it. It’s nasty.”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Harry, don’t even pretend that you don’t have a big ass house. Your mum can stay in one room and we’ll go in another, and then nobody will catch anything. Plus, we can be quiet so we don’t wake her.”

And then he was stuck. Harry opened his mouth again, trying to think of another reason why none of them could come over, but he couldn’t think of any. He couldn’t make up another excuse or they would know that he was lying.

“Come on, Harry. You said it yourself that we need to talk before jumping back into the band,” Liam coaxed. “Just let us come over so we can actually talk about it.”

Harry’s frown deepened. 

“We’ll leave if you tell us too,” Zayn added quickly. “And we won’t do anything you don’t want us to. Just let us come over so that we can talk about this. Please Haz?”

“Fine,” Harry said, swallowing thickly. “Fine. But you can only stay for a little while.”

Liam nodded. “Yeah, sure. We don’t need too long. We just need to cover a few things in private before we have to meet up with Syco again. Just enough to know that we’re all on the same page.”

Harry bit his lip. He didn’t want to do this, but he didn’t have much choice. “Fine. It’s only a couple minutes to drive there. Just follow me or Niall.”

With that, he turned around on his heel and started walking towards the exit. The boys were trailing behind him as well, none of them saying anything as they exited the building. 

Harry walked right over to his white Mercedes, but he felt someone following him. He didn’t think anything of it until he got to his car, and said person got into the car next to him. He frowned, looking up. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Louis remarked sassily, leaning against the sleek porsche. 

Harry bit his lip to keep from lashing out. Instead he muttered, “nice car,” before closing his car door behind him again. He couldn’t be starting fights this early in the game. 

He didn’t even wait for Louis’ response before he was pulling out. Louis wasn’t even inside of his own car before Harry was spinning out of the parking lot and driving towards the highway. He didn’t wait for him before he was heading home. 

Niall could show them the way there.

***

Harry threw open his car door and nearly tumbled right out of it again. But he managed to catch his footing in time to save himself from falling flat onto his face. He then barely managed to close the door before he was sprinting towards his house. 

Harry knew that he only had about three minutes before the other boys would get there, so he took off. He sprinted through the house, gathering as many toys as he could find. He then shoved them in random places, such as cupboards and closest. 

He then ran to the playroom. There wasn’t much he could do about that, since it was completely open and there were no doors to close. But he quickly tried to make it look as bare as possible so that maybe he could pass it off for when his nephew visited. 

He also made sure to quickly shoot Cecelia a quick message, asking her to keep the two of them for a little while longer. She responded almost immediately, saying that it was no problem. 

He had just managed to lock both of his children’s bedrooms when there was a knock at the door. But he knew Niall and he knew that he didn’t knock, he just burst into the house without warning.

So he wasn’t surprised in the slightest when the door was opened only a second later. “HAZ!” Niall called into the house. “We’re here! Where are you!”

“‘M here,” Harry said, walking down the stairs and trying to look as nonchalant and unsuspicious as possible. “I was just, erm, checking in on mum. She said she’s fine with it, just as long as we aren’t too loud and that we don’t go upstairs.”

“Fair enough,” Zayn said, walking into the house. He looked around, before letting out a low whistle. “Nice place, Harry. This is really huge. Guess I was right when I said you’d have a big ass house.”

“Yeah…” Harry mumbled, shifting between his feet awkwardly. “Anyway, I don’t have much time. So, should we sit down or something…”

“Sure,” Niall said with a shrug, but he was already on the way towards the kitchen. “Nobody takes my spot. It’s the one on the loveseat.”

“You have a spot?” Liam asked in surprise, raising his eyebrows. 

Harry shrugged. “Well, he practically owns the loveseat at this point,” he answered honestly. It was true, Niall practically lived at his house half the time, and whenever he did, he always claimed the loveseat. 

“Do you two hang out often?” Zayn asked. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah,” he responded simply. He wanted to go into more detail. About how Niall was basically the only reason he was where he was now. How, without Niall, he wouldn’t have been strong enough to raise two kids and maintain a solo career. But, of course, he didn’t.

“Are you guys talking about me?” Niall asked, walking back into the room with a bunch of things in his arms. They all looked like food, but Harry didn’t know where they came from. 

“Yep, we’re just discussing your eating habits,” Louis commented, looking down at the many food items in his hands with a raised eyebrow. 

Niall just rolled his eyes. “These aren’t just for me,” he said, heading towards the living room. “I brought them to share. Now come on lads, we don’t have all night.”   
  
They all followed the irish man into the living room. Niall deposited the food into the coffee table, which was a mix of several different snacks. He then walked over and settled himself into the loveseat. Harry walked over, joining his best friend on the smaller couch while the other three sat on the larger couch. 

“So,” Liam said, clearing his throat. “Maybe we should catch up first? What have you all been up to?”

“Well, Gigi and I had our daughter Christle. She’s turning five next week, so we’ve been spending time with her,” Zayn said. 

Harry smiled, brightening at that. “Congratulations, Zayn!” He said happily. “I’ve always thought that you two would be great parents! I’m so happy for you!”

Zayn softened at that, shooting Harry a small, kind smile. “Thanks, Haz,” he said. “She’s great. Gigi and I were a little nervous when we first had her, you know? But it was all worth it and now I can’t imagine my life without her.”

“Mhm, same with me and Bear,” Liam said, nodding along. “This is crazy. I can’t believe three of us already have kids. It feels like just yesterday when  _ we _ were kids.”

“Yeah…” Niall said, trailing off. “But I don’t know about the whole kids thing. Don’t really need my own when I can just come see-” Harry elbowed him sharply in the ribs. “-when so many of you guys have kids,” he finished, quickly saving himself. 

“Yeah, I thought that too,” Louis said, leaning back into the couch. “But then you hold that baby for the first time, and then it’s all game over.”

“Yeah, but still. I don’t see the appeal-” Niall was cut off by the sound of Harry’s phone binging in his pocket. He stopped, looking at the curly haired boy in confusion. 

“Who’s that?” Zayn asked, his eyes twinkling. “Is there a special someone you’re not telling us about, Hazzy?”

Harry felt himself frown, pulling the phone out of his pocket and checking it. His frown deeped when he saw that it was a text from Cecelia. 

“Harry, you didn’t tell me you were dating again,” Liam said, pouting a little. 

Harry just silently shook his head, quickly opening the text. Worry was instantly twisting in his stomach, all the things that could have gone wrong flashing in his mind. 

_ I think Robbie is sick. He keeps complaining about his stomach and crying.  _

Harry was quick to type back.  _ Is he alright? _

_ I think so. But he just vomited. I’m bringing him over.  _

“I think you all should go now,” Harry said, a tone of urgency in his voice, tucking the phone back into his pocket and looking at the four other boys. 

Niall frowned. “Why? What’s wrong?” He asked in concern. 

“What? Are we leaving so you can get it on with someone?” Louis sneered, rolling his eyes. “Typical. Tell your one night stand that he can wait. This is more important than getting slutty.”

“Louis!” Hissed Liam, looking sharply at the other boy. 

Zayn was the only one looking at him in confusion. “Harry, what’s-”   
  


He was cut off by the sound of his front door opening. “DADDY!” A small voice yelled, followed by the sound of a pair of small feet running towards the living room. “DADDY!”

Harry jumped to his feet, but before he could do anything to stop what was happening, Allie was running towards him. She was still dressed in her pajamas, probably just woken up. She had a panicked expression on her face. 

She instantly ran over to Harry, throwing her small arms around him. In an instant, Harry was on the ground next to her, hugging her gently. 

“What happened, baby?” He asked in concern, surveying the small girl worriedly. “Are you hurt? Are you sick? What’s wrong?”

“Harry, what- why did she call you daddy?” Someone stated behind him, their voice struck with a mix of shock and horror. But Harry couldn’t bring himself to care about that right now. He was completely focused on his small, distraught daughter. 

“Robbie throwed up!” Allie cried, her eyes wide and her face pale. “He’s sick, daddy! And he’s crying!”

“Where is Mrs Davis?” Harry asked worriedly. 

“Is that your kid!?” Liam blurted out, his shock evident on his voice and in his voice. 

It was at that moment that Mrs Davis came barrelling into the room, a sobbing Robbie clutching onto her. She looked panicked as she held the crying boy, glancing around desperately for Harry. 

Harry was across the room before anyone could blink. He quickly gathered the small boy into his arms, holding him securely against himself. “What happened?” He asked the older woman. Robbie was now holding onto Harry for dear life as he cried pitifully. 

“I don’t know,” Mrs Davis said, looking clearly unsettled. “It was time for bed so I tucked them both in at seven thirty, just like you said. But he was complaining about not being able to sleep, so I gave him a glass of warm milk to help him sleep, just like I do for my grandchildren. But soon he then started complaining about his stomach hurting and then he vomited.”

“Oh,” Harry muttered, running a hang over his son’s back. “He’s lactose intolerant.”

Cecelia, if possible, paled even more. “Oh no!” She exclaimed, horrified. “Oh my graciousness! I had no idea! I’m so sorry! I would never have given him that if I had known!”

“It’s okay. I was in such a rush that I forgot to tell you,” Harry assured her. “It’s not your fault. It was an honest mistake.”

“That poor baby!” Mrs Davis cried, looking at Robbie with horror. “I’m so sorry, Robbie!”

“It’s fine, Mrs Davis,” Harry said again. “He’ll be fine. It’s just going to be kind of a rough night. But he’s fine. He’s going to be fine. He probably just vomited to get it all out of his system.”

“D-d-daddy!” Robbie sobbed, burying his face into Harry’s chest. “I-it hurts! I f-f-feel yucky!” He then couldn’t say anything else as he only started crying harder. 

“Shh, I know baby,” Harry murmured softly to him, threading his fingers through the boy’s sweaty hair. “I know it hurts. But it’s going to be okay.” He then shot Cecelia another reassuring look. “He’ll be fine, Cece. I’ve got him from here.”   
  


She nodded, still looking pale and worried. “Alright, I’ll be going. I am so, so sorry, Harry,” she said again. Harry nodded at her, before the lady left. 

There was a brief moment of silence that settled over the house once the door closed behind the older woman. Other than Robbie’s pitiful sniffles, nobody made a sound. Not even Allie, which wasn’t like her at all. 

“Harry…” Zayn breathed, his eyes wide as saucer pans as he stared at Robbie. They were all looking at Robbie, mixes of horror and shock on their features. Harry couldn’t bring himself to look at them. 

“You should go,” he stated again, more firmly this time. He shifted Robbie over more so that his face was completely hidden by his chest. But it was too late, they had all already seen him. 

“What the fuck,” Louis spat, his eyes never leaving Robbie and Allie, shifting between the two of them. “What the actual hell, Harry! What the hell is this?”

“That’s a bad word,” Allie mumbled, frowning a little. 

Niall reacted quickly, standing up as well. He quickly gathered the small girl into his arms. “Yes, Allie. That is a bad word,” he said as he made his way out of the room. “Now, how about we go back to bed. You must be sleepy.”

“Ni,” Harry mumbled, passing the boy over to him. “Take Robbie too, please.”

Harry was beyond grateful that his best friend was there to take Allie away. This was one conversation that he didn’t want either of his kids around for. But at the same time, he desperately wished that Niall was back there to defend him. 

“Harry,” Zayn tried again, this time it was louder and less shocked. He had a steely look on his face and looked like he was about to say something. 

But Harry beat him to it. “You should go,” he said again, not daring to meet their eyes. Instead, he focused solely on the ground. 

“We’re not-” Louis started. 

“I said leave, Louis!” Harry yelled, his anger lashing out. He could see the boys flinch a little from his sudden change of tone, but he didn’t care. “Just get out! Leave!”

“And I said, we’re not leaving yet!” Louis roared, his face turning pink in his own anger. “What the hell! You have kids and you didn’t tell me!?”   
  


“Because it’s none of your business!” Harry screamed, the tears already starting to pool in his eyes that (thankfully) no one noticed. “It’s none of your business, so get out!”   
  


“Clearly it is my business!” Louis yelled right back at him, his eyes flashing wildly. “How the fuck could this not be my buisness! It’s completely my business when a  _ kid  _ runs in here looking like me! What the hell!”

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Harry spat, spinning around on his heel and ready to stalk out of the room. He had only made it a foot when a hand latched out and grabbed onto him. 

“We’re not done here!” Louis shouted, his grip tight enough on Harry’s wrist to leave a bruise. He could already feel the skin bruising. 

“Let me go!” Harry yelled, trying to rip his hand away. “And we are done here because I say that we’re done here! Now let me go and get the hell out of my house!”

Liam seemed to shake himself out of his shock and sprang to his feet. He rushed over to the pair of them and wrenched them apart, before shoving Louis back. “Stop it!” He shouted. “Stop fighting!”

Harry looked Liam steely in the eyes, breathing in shakily as he tried to calm his thundering heart. “Get out,” he managed to choke out, his throat constricting inside of his mouth. 

“I’m not leaving-” Louis started venomously, before Zayn also jumped up and grabbed at the man, physically restraining him. 

“You are leaving,” Zayn said, his voice sounding shaken but strong. “You don’t get to talk to Harry like that. You’re confused. We’re all confused. But you aren’t staying here any longer tonight.”

“They’re mine!” Louis yelled suddenly. “Have you seen them, Zayn!? They’re MINE!”

“They’re not yours!” Harry shouted back. He felt much bolder and angered by Louis already claiming the children he didn’t know, that he couldn’t hold his tongue back. “They’ve never been yours and they will never be yours!”

Louis was about to scream. Harry could tell that he was about to explode, and he shrank back preparing for the outburst. He was already close to tears, but refused to let them spill. But he knew that as soon as Louis would start screaming, he would lose it. 

“HOW THE HELL CAN YOU TELL ME THAT THEY AREN’T MINE!” Louis screamed, his voice projecting loudly and with such rage that Harry couldn’t stop a few tears from escaping. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, HARRY! DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT THEY AREN’T MINE!”

“Louis, stop it!” Zayn snapped, already dragging Louis towards the door. His face was steely and firm, and Harry could tell that he was mad, but was trying not to show it. “We’re done here.”

“I’m not done here!” Louis yelled, straining himself against his friend’s grip. “I’m not done!”

“Yes you are,” Zayn said, yanking the other man out of the door. The front door slammed behind them as they left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness gracious. That was one hell of a chapter.
> 
> Hope y’all liked that pain as much as I did. I need to go cry now...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are the most supportive people in the world!
> 
> Hey, can someone leave a comment saying if they actually read these notes. Just wondering...

Harry couldn’t stop himself. As soon as the door closed, he kneeled over and puked. Bile projected along the hardwood floor as he vomited. Harry was heaving, the contents of his stomach landing with a disgusting sound. 

He wrapped his arms protectively around his stomach, heaving painfully. There were tears dripping freely down his face now, and he couldn’t do anything to stop them. He also couldn’t stop puking his guts out onto the floor.

He heard Liam swear loudly next to him, before a hand was touching his back. He had nearly forgotten that Liam was there until just now, and he didn’t know whether to be mortified, angry or relieved by his presence. 

When he finished, he stood up shakily. His knees felt like they were about to give out beneath him. He thought that they would, if it weren’t for Liam already being at his side, leading him away from the gross puddle. 

“Come on, Haz,” Liam said soothingly, helping the boy walk. “Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up, yeah? Then we can sit down and have a little chat.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Harry rasped, his tone sounding broken and rough. You could clearly hear the heartbreak in his voice. It was enough to break Liam’s heart. 

“I know, I know,” Liam said, his hand still rubbing comforting, slow circles onto the boy. “We don’t have to talk about it tonight. Or at least, not right now. Right now we’re going to calm down and get cleaned up.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it ever,” Harry murmured, hiccuping pitifully. “Don’t even wanna look at him again.”

Liam didn’t say anything, instead just silently leading Harry along. The younger man stumbled and staggered, still feeling nauseated and unsteady. But Liam was holding him steady, making sure that he didn’t collapse. 

Somehow, the two of them managed to get up the stairs together. Liam found the way to the master bedroom (Harry’s bedroom) and pushed open the door. He then led the smaller man over to his bed. 

Harry slumped down as soon as Liam let him go, collapsing onto the large mattress with a groan. His legs refused to support his weight anymore, and he just fell into the bed. He didn’t have the strength or will to hold his body anymore. 

He vaguely heard Liam saying something about a bath, before the older man was walking off again. Liam went straight into the built in bathroom, leaving Harry for a brief moment of privacy. 

He knew it had been a bad idea. He knew that it wasn’t going to last forever. He knew that Louis was going to find out and be mad. He knew all of that. But he had just been hoping that it would have happened later rather than sooner. 

When Liam came back, the sound of water was running in the bath. Harry looked up at the man when he came back. They made eye contact, and he saw Liam falter in his step. 

“Oh, Haz…” he murmured after a moment of silence. In the blink of an eye, he was crossing the room and pulling Harry into a huge hug. He wrapped both of his arms around the smaller man, drawing him in close. 

Harry instantly leaned into the touch, sighing. He could feel himself crumpling. Already, there were tears steadily flowing down his cheeks and his breath was uneven. “I’m tired, Liam. I’m so, so tired…” Harry murmured, sniffling. 

Liam felt his heart break at how broken the younger man sounds. “I know, Hazza,” he said softly, running a hand through his curls. “You’re gonna get a bath, then put on some comfy clothes, yeah? Then you can go to bed.”

“Y-yeah,” Harry mumbled into the crook of Liam’s neck. “But I have to go see them. R-Robbie’s sick a-and Allie’s scared. I h-have to go see them…” 

“Niall’s taking care of them, but I can bring you to them if you want,” Liam said in concern.

Harry nodded his head, already wiping the tears away quickly with the back of his hand. The last thing he wanted to do was let his kids see that he was crying. “P-please,” he stammered. 

Liam nodded, wrapping his arm around Harry’s shoulders and helping him to his feet. They then trudged down the hallway again, stopping at the first door they could find. It was Robbie’s bedroom, so they pushed open the door. 

Robbie was lying in his bed, sleeping soundly. There were dried tear tracks leading down his cheeks, but he seemed fine now. There was a look of discomfort on his face, but he was asleep, which was all that mattered. 

Allie on the other hand, looked much worse off. She was curled in Niall’s lap, sniffling as she clutched onto Niall desperately with her hands. Niall was slowly rocking her back and forth, murmuring softly to her. 

He looked up when he saw the two of them walk in, a wave of concern washing over his face when he took in Harry’s state. But nonetheless, he nudged Allie softly with his arm. 

“Hey Alligator, look. Daddy’s back,” he whispered to the distraught little girl. 

At the mention of her father, Allie cautiously lifted her head out of Niall’s chest and looked up at Harry with wide, teary eyes. “Daddy?” She whispered, her small voice sounding pained and terrified. 

Harry’s heart broke into a million pieces as he dropped down to his knees. “Yeah,” he said, holding his arms out wide. “C’mere baby.”

The small girl needed no other prompting before she was throwing herself into Harry’s awaiting arms. She wrapped her own little arms around his neck, grasping at his shirt with bunched fists, and burying her face into his neck. 

“D-d-daddy!” she sobbed, her small body wracking with her pained sobs. 

Harry wrapped his arm tightly around her while the other cascaded through her dishevelled curls. “Shh, it’s okay, baby... It’s okay… everything’s okay… calm down, sweetie…” Harry murmured into her ear, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. 

“But there was yelling!” She cried. “I heard you yelling! And that other guy was saying bad words! And you were saying bad words! And everyone was angry!”

Harry cringed, knowing that she had heard the exchange that had happened downstairs. He shouldn’t have been surprised- the whole street had probably heard it. But he had never wanted to scare his little girl to tears. 

“I know, I’m so sorry, princess,” Harry whispered, his voice shaky. “But it’s okay now. Everything’s alright. Just calm down, baby.”

But the girl didn’t stop. It was probably a mix of being tired (it was WAY past her bedtime), seeing Robbie just get sick, walking into a room full of strangers, and then hearing her dad take part in a screaming match. But she wouldn’t stop crying. 

“She’s been doing this since she came upstairs,” Niall explained softly, looking at her with sad eyes. “I couldn’t get her to stop.”

Harry bit his lip, trying to think fast. But his mind was everywhere and he couldn’t focus on anything. But thankfully, the universe seemed to give mercy on him, and he suddenly got an idea. 

“You wanna hear a song, Allie?” He asked suddenly, nudging the small girl. “Do you want me to sing? You always like that.”

“S-sing?” She repeated, looking up at him with wide eyes. Harry nodded at her, picking up the small girl into his arms and carrying her across the hall towards her own bedroom. Niall and Liam trailed after him. 

Harry settled the small girl onto her bed. She immediately leaned back into the pillow, curling in on herself and watching him expectantly. 

“Niall, get the guitar,” Harry instructed. His best friend nodded, before rushing out of the room again. A few seconds later, he came back with a guitar in his hands. 

“What are we playing?” Niall asked the girl kindly. “What do you want us to sing?”

The girl bit her lip. “Umm, what makes you beautiful?” she suggested after a moment. 

Liam raised his eyebrows at Harry. He had assumed that the kids wouldn’t have known anything about One Direction, let alone the songs they used to play. Harry just ignored him, knowing that there would be plenty of time for questions later. 

“That’s now really a bedtime song, love,” Harry said soothingly. “What about ‘I Want To Write You A Song’? You like that one.” He suggested. He then turned to Liam, “do you remember the words?”

“You want me to sing?” Liam asked, looking surprised. But he quickly covered it up again, not wanting to do anything to disrupt his friend or the girl. “Of course I still remember the words.”

“Great,” Harry said, nodding a little. 

As if on cue, Niall started strumming softly on the guitar. Harry took the first verse. 

_ “I want to write you a song,  _

_ One as beautiful as you are sweet.  _

_ With just a hint of pain from the feeling that I get when you are gone. _

_ I want to write you a song.” _

When he finished his part, Liam was quick to jump in next as his part came up. 

_ “I want to lend you my coat,  _

_ One that’s as soft as your cheek.  _

_ So when the world is cold you will have a hiding place you can go.  _

_ I want to lend you my coat.” _ _  
  
_

It was supposed to be Louis’ part next. They all knew it, but Liam had no idea who was supposed to take it. He was quite surprised when Harry took a deep breath and starting singing. 

_ “Everything I need I get from you,  _

_ And giving back is all I want to do.” _

Liam jumped in next for his next part. 

_ “I want to build you a boat, _

_ One as strong as you are free.  _

_ So any time you think that your heart is gonna sink, you know it won’t.  _

_ I want to build you a boat.” _

Apparently they’ve already sang it together, because Harry and Niall worked together flawlessly. This time, when Louis’ chorus rolled around, they didn’t even need to communicate before Niall jumped in. 

_ “Everything I need I get from you,  _

_ And giving back is all I want to do.” _ _  
  
_

And Liam took the next bar. 

_ “Everything I need I get from you,  _

_ And giving back is all I want to do.” _ __  
  


Allie was nearly asleep, her eyelids drooping heavier and heavier as her breath evened out. Harry finished the last bit of the song quietly, his voice soothing and beautiful. He ran his fingers through her hair comfortingly, as his voice vibrated throughout the room.

_ “I want to write you a song,  _

_ One to make your heart remember me.  _

_ So any time I’m gone, you can listen to my voice and sing along.  _

_ I want to write you a song, _

_ I want to write you a song…” _

Niall played the final three strums on the guitar, before leaving it ringing throughout the room. The song was then finished. 

Niall and Liam gently flitted out of the room. They stood in the hallway, but Liam couldn’t resist peeking his head in to watch the exchange. He was still completely shaken by the shock of Harry having kids- kids that he had conceived with Louis. 

So he couldn’t help himself from becoming curious. Niall didn’t seem to mind, as he let Liam look into the room as Harry tucked his daughter in. 

Harry waited until his other two friends had left, before standing up from the bed. First, he reached over and picked up a pale, yellow giraffe toy and tucked it under the sleeping girl’s arm. Then he bent down, brushing her curls out of her face. 

“I love you,” he whispered to the sleeping form. He then bent down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her forehead. Allie didn’t even stir, but she smiled a little in her sleep. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

He then stood up, the mattress shifting a little as he did so. Thankfully, the four year old didn’t even stir, so Harry could slip away easily. He turned, tiptoeing out of the room and into the hallway again. 

“Thanks for that,” he said, closing the door part of the way behind him. “Sining, I mean. She really likes when people sing to her. It helps her fall asleep.”

“No problem. I’m sure you’d do the same for Bear,” Liam responded easily. “I’m just glad that I could help.”

Harry nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Right, I should probably go see Robbie now. Liam, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. Ollie’s probably wanting you back soon.”

“Ollie can wait,” Liam responded. “I’ve already texted him and said I might not be back for a while. And it’s not a problem at all for me to stay, but I can leave if you want me to.”

Harry nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. “You want to see Robbie…” he mumbled, more to himself than to anyone. 

“I don’t have to see him if you don’t want me to,” Liam said quickly. Sure, of course he wanted to see the little boy. Allie had been adorable, probably one of the most perfect four year olds he had ever seen. But she looked a lot like Harry. Robbie, however, he had barely seen and was curious. 

Harry shook his head. “No, it’s fine. He’s shy, but he’s sleeping so he won’t mind,” he mumbled, already leading the way over to his son’s bedroom. Liam hesitantly followed, with Niall close behind. 

Harry opened the bedroom door, before slipping in with the other two men. Carefully, he crept over to the bed and over to the sleeping form of his son. 

Robbie was lying on his back, squirming around uncomfortably. His eyes were shut tightly and his mouth was parted open, small whimpers coming out of them. His face was twisted in pain as well, as he shifted around. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, baby,” Harry hushed, immediately kneeling down beside the bed and running his fingers through the boy’s hair. “Daddy’s here. You’re okay.”

The boy seemed to calm down at his father’s voice. He stopped squirming around and settled a little, leaning into the touch on his head. His face was still twisted in discomfort, but less so. 

“Hurtsss,” Robbie croaked in his sleepy daze, his voice coming out as small, raspy and sleep-ridden. “Ouchie.”

“I know it hurts, baby,” Harry cooed. “But you’re going to be okay. You’re going to be fine.” He brought his hand down to where Robbie was clutching his stomach in pain, and started rubbing soothing circles over it. 

The boy’s face softened as he did so, until he had dropped back off to sleep. Harry continued rubbing his stomach a few more times, before stilling his hand. Robbie remained asleep, soft snores coming out of his parted mouth. 

Harry looked over to see Liam staring at the boy with wide, shocked eyes. Silently, he motioned for the man to step into the room and beckoned him over. 

Liam walked over, hesitantly, before kneeling next to Harry. He was studying Robbie’s face with a mix of shock and awe, his eyes sweeping over the boy’s features. “Woah,” he managed to whisper. “He looks exactly like him…”

Harry nodded. He was aware of the fact that his son was basically a smaller replica of Louis. “Yeah,” he murmured, gazing softly at the boy. 

Liam studied him for a second more, before his gaze fell onto Robbie’s eyes. They were closed, of course, but he could already imagine what they looked like. “Blue?” He asked quietly, nodding towards his eyes. 

Harry nodded again, but chose not to say anything. 

When Harry finally stood up, Liam was quick to join him. He appreciated how the other man was trying to keep his boundaries respectable, but it kind of felt like he was walking on eggshells. Harry didn’t care yet, but he found he probably would if that became a habit.

“I need a bath. Niall, can you watch him until I come back. He might wake up, but just rub his stomach for a little while and it’ll go away. I’ll only be a few minutes,” Harry instructed quietly. 

“I know how to deal with him, Haz. I’ve done this before,” Niall reminded him softly. “And don’t rush. Just take some time, Liam and I will watch them.”

Harry nodded mutely, rubbing his eyes with one of his hands. “Thanks,” he barely murmured, before he was walking off to his room. 

***

Harry felt better after getting a bath. Not much better, but better. 

He felt more relaxed, especially after slipping on an oversized hoodie and a pair of cozy sweatpants. He felt more comfortable and tired, which was better than feeling sick anymore. He was now at least confident he wasn’t going to vomit out of hysteria again. 

He walked out of the master bedroom and down the hall. He saw Niall and Liam both sitting together inside of Robbie’s room, whispering quietly together. They both had a mix of grim and sad expressions on their faces. Harry knew that they were talking about him. 

“Liam, you can go if you want,” Harry mumbled. “Thanks so much for being here, but Ollie and Bear must be waiting for you to get back sometime soon.”

Liam looked up in surprise when Harry entered the room, and he couldn’t help but become even more saddened. Harry had always been fairly thin, but he looked like he had lost quite a bit of weight. It wasn’t an unhealthy amount, just enough to make him look visibly slimmer. 

But that wasn’t what saddened him. What made him feel even worse was when he took in what Harry was wearing. It was a hoodie that was clearly too big for him. It hung off his bony shoulders loosely and practically swallowed his entire body. 

And the hoodie was also clearly Louis’. 

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts away in an instant. “Right, yeah,” Liam said, standing up. “I should probably go. Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

Harry shot him a small smile. “I’m fine. Just sorta lost it earlier,” he mumbled, frowning at the thought. “Sorry about that. I really didn’t think that it would have gone this way at all.”

“It’s fine Harry, you don’t need to apologize,” Liam assured him. “This is shit, and I don’t know what’s going on. But what I do know is that you need to take care of yourself. Get some sleep, take some time.”

“Yeah, I will. Thank, Li,” Harry said. 

Liam bit his lip, seeming to be struggling with something for a moment. Harry was about to ask what he was thinking of, before he was engulfed in a giant hug. 

It wasn’t like the hug they had shared at the cafe. That hug had been an excited and friendly hug, the kind you give to an old friend you haven't seen in a while. This hug was much longer and desperate. 

Harry couldn’t help himself from leaning into the touch. God, he had missed Liam. He buried his face into the crook of the other man’s neck, wrapping his own arms around him. 

When they broke apart, there were tears glistening in Liam’s eyes. “You’re a great, dad, Harry,” he said, giving the man a watery smile. 

“Thanks Liam,” Harry managed to choke out, feeling his own tears start to pool in his eyes. “Thanks so much.”

“I’ll be back. But call me if you need or want anything,” Liam said. “I’ll come back soon. Just make sure you take care of yourself.”

“I will,” Harry said, smiling tightly to keep himself from bursting into tears all over again. 

Before he could even react, Liam was grabbing him and pulling him into a final hug. This one was much shorter, but Harry loved every second of it. But eventually, Liam pulled away. 

He shot Harry one final smile, before walking back down the stairs. A few seconds later, he could hear the sound of the front door opening and closing as Liam left. 

Harry then headed into Robbie’s room, seeing that Niall was still there. The blond man looked tired and worn out, but was still sitting attentively next to the bed. Harry smiled at his best friend. 

“Thanks for watching him, Ni,” Harry said. “But you’re tired. You should head to bed now.”

“So should you,” Niall stated. “You go get some sleep. I don’t mind staying up with him for a little while. You look dead on your feet, you need rest.”

“I’m fine,” Harry denied. “Go to bed, I want to stay with Robbie for the night.”

“Haz…” started Niall, but Harry beat him to it. 

“Please Niall, I need to be with him tonight. I just need to-  _ I  _ need to hold him tonight. I need it,” Harry pleaded, his voice cracking at the end. 

Niall looked sadly at him, his eyes worried. “Are you sure, Haz?” He asked. 

Harry just nodded. “Please.”

The Irishman sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Alright, alright,” he mumbled. “Just please take care of yourself. And get some rest for yourself. I wasn’t kidding when I said you needed it.”

“Yes, Niall,” Harry said obediently. He wrapped his arms around Niall, pulling him into a tight hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Haz. You’re my best friend, and I do actually care a crap ton about you,” Niall mumbled to him. 

“You’re the best,” Harry found himself saying as they pulled away. 

“Better believe it,” Niall said with a wink. “Remember, if you need me, I’m just in the guest room. Now get some sleep.”

Hardy smiled as his best friend left, heading off towards the guest room where he spent his nights. Harry then turned around and looked at the bed. 

Robbie was curled in on himself, sucking gently on one of his thumbs in his sleep. Harry smiled at the sight. His children were probably the cutest things to ever have walked the earth. 

Harry gently climbed into the bed next to his son. He did his best to settle in without waking the small boy. He then lied down, wrapping one arm around the sleeping form. 

For a few moments, Harry just lay there with his baby boy wrapped in his arms. He just lay there, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath as well as the soft feeling of his heart. 

Harry could feel himself drifting off as well. The events of the day were all catching up on him all of a sudden, wearing him out. He was suddenly exhausted, and felt his eyes slip closed. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These notes go out to some_fan_account. You’re probably the only one reading these, so you get a special shoutout! This chapter is for you!
> 
> Hope you like it :)
> 
> PS, reply in the comments if you want a special shoutout.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!” Allie chanted, running around the house excitedly. 

Harry sighed from where he was doing the dishes. For some reason, both of his kids had become suddenly all the more energetic overnight. He hadn’t thought it was possible for them to be even wilder, but they were proving him wrong. 

“Yes, Allie?” He asked, never turning away from the sink. He had been patient all day, but he was tired and wsa running out of patience. And it was only eleven in the morning. 

“I’m bored!” The small girl exclaimed, skipping around in the kitchen. “I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored!”

“Go ask uncle Niall to do something with you. Daddy’s busy right now,” Harry said, continuing to wash the dishes. He was just praying that Niall wasn’t busy and would be able to entertain the girl for a few minutes. 

But, of course, no such luck. “Uncle Niall is still at the store!” Allie said. “He’s not here and I’m bored! Do something with me, daddy!”

“I can’t now, love,” Harry said gently. “I’m still doing the dishes. Go play with Robbie for a few minutes. I’m sure he’s bored too.”

“No! I don’t wanna play with Robbie,” the hyperactive four year old whined. “He’s drawing, and that’s boring! I don’t wanna draw! I wanna play!”

Harry was running out of patience. He had barely slept at all last night, since he had shared a bed with Robbie. The poor boy had been up nearly the entire night, complaining about his stomach hurting and feeling sick. 

But the small boy seemed to bounce back quickly, as he was feeling much better today. He wasn’t sick and he wasn’t in pain, he was basically back to his normal self. But Harry was now exhausted. 

“Allie, please. I’m busy right now. Go play somewhere else and let me finish these dishes,” Harry said tiredly, rubbing his temples with one hand. “I’ll come play with you later, just please go find something to do right now.”

“But I wanna play!” Allie pouted with a frown. 

“I know you do, love,” Harry said again, still managing to keep his voice level and patient. “And you can play with me or uncle Niall in a little while. Just go find something else to do right now.”

“But that’s boring!” She whined. “I wanna do something fun.”

“Like what?” The twenty four year old asked. 

Allie paused, thinking. “Hmm,” she hummed, scrunching up her nose in concentration. “Oh, I know! I wanna have a dance party!”

“You want a dance party?” Harry asked, liking the sounds of that idea. It was something that the girl could do without him actually having to entertain her. “That’s a good idea, Al. What kind of music do you want to listen to?”

“I’ll put it on!” She shouted, hurrying over to the kitchen counter. She picked up the ipad and started clicking on it. 

That was probably one of Harry’s favourite parts of his house. He had attacked speakers throughout the house, so whenever he wanted to listen to music, he just had to type it into the ipad and it would start playing through the speakers. It was great. 

“Play Best Song Ever,” Allie said to the ipad. 

Oh yeah, Harry might have forgotten to mention that his kids were huge One Direction fans. They listened to all the music and knew almost all the words. They played it constantly and belted out the lyrics. 

They didn’t know much, of course. All they knew was that Harry used to be in the band with their uncle Niall and three other guys. They all made music together and performed it to the world. And that was all they knew. And all they would ever know. 

“ _ Maybe it’s the way she walked _ !” Allie sang loudly.  _ “Straight into my heart and stole it! Through the doors and past the guards! Just she already owned it!” _

Robbie, having heard the music from the other room, ran in just in time to sing the next part, already jumping up and down with excitement.  _ “I said, can you give it back to me! She said, never in your wildest dreams!” _

“Dance, daddy!” Allie shouted, grabbing onto Harry’s hand and pulling him away from the sink. Harry smiled at his daughter’s antics, but allowed himself to be pulled away. 

_ “And we danced all night to the best song ever! _

_ We knew every line, now I can’t remember! _

_ How it goes but I know that I won’t forget her! _ _  
_ _ Cause we danced all night to the best song ever!” _ _  
  
_

The two kids were bouncing around excitedly, belting out the words as they sang. And, of course, Harry couldn’t help himself from dancing along with them. 

_ “I think it went oh, oh, oh! _

_ I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah! _

_ I think it goes (ooh!) _

_ “Said her name was Georgia Rose (wow) _

_ And her daddy was a dentist _

_ Said I had a dirty mouth _

_ But she kissed me like she meant it!” _

_ “I said ‘can I take you home with me?’ _

_ She said, ‘never in your wildest dreams!” _

_ “And we danced all night to the best song ever, _

_ We knew every line now I can’t remember _

_ How it goes but I know that I won’t forget her _

_ Cause we danced all night to the best song ever!” _ _  
  
_

Harry was too caught up in the singing and bouncing around to notice Niall open the front door and walk inside with Liam. He was too lost in dancing to the song that he didn’t even see them walk into the room and watch them. 

_ “I think it went oh, oh, oh _

_ I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah _

_ I think it goes (ooh!)” _

Allie hopped up onto a chair, ready for the solo. Harry smiled at her as she started singing, being the overdramatic girl she was. 

_ “You know, I know, you know I’ll remember you, _

_ And I know, you know, I know, you’ll remember me, _

_ And you know, I know, you know I’ll remember you, _

_ And I know, you know, I hope you’ll remember how we danced, _

_ How we danced (one, two, one, two, three, four!)” _

_ “And we danced all night to the best song ever _

_ We knew every line now I can’t remember, _

_ How it goes but I know that I won’t forget her _

_ Cause we danced all night to the best song ever! _

_ And we danced all night to the best song ever _

_ We knew every line now I can’t remember, _

_ How it goes but I know that I won’t forget her _

_ Cause we danced all night to the best song ever!” _ _  
  
_

_ “I think it went oh, oh, oh! _

_ I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah _

_ I think it goes (ooh!)” _ __  
_  
_ __ “Best song ever,

_ It was the best song ever, _

_ It was the best song ever,  _

_ It was the best song ever…” _

When the song finished, all three of them were grinning wildly and a little out of breath from jumping around so much. But Harry felt lighter, like he was floating. It was what happened whenever he listened to music, everything just became better. 

“Uncle Niall!” Robbie shouted suddenly, causing Harry to look over in surprise. Niall and Liam were standing in the doorway, leaning against the wall as they watched the exchange. 

“Oh, hey guys,” he said, smiling sheepishly at them. Both men were looking at him with a soft, knowing smile on their faces. 

“Hi Haz,” Niall said, beaming over at him. “Hope you don’t mind that I brought Liam over with me.”

Harry shook his head. “No, it’s fine,” he answered. “We’re not really doing anything today, so it’s fine. Nice to see you again, Liam.”

“Hey Harry,” Liam said with a small smile. He then looked down at the two kids, who were now crowded next to Harry’s legs, looking at him nervously. “Hi guys,” he said, waving to them. 

“Who’re you?” Allie asked, frowning a little as she looked Liam up and down. “Why are you in my house?”

Harry nudged her lightly. “Allie, be nice,” he scolded her gently. “This is my friend Liam. Remember, he was here yesterday and sang to you before bed?”

“Oh,” Allie said, nodding a little. She seemed less nervous now, but still stayed close to Harry as she eyed him. “But who are you?”

“You know how uncle Niall and I were in the band?” He asked her. Again, the girl nodded slowly, so he continued. “Yeah, well, Liam was in the band too. He used to perform the songs with us.”

At this news, Allie’s eyes seemed to bug out of her head. Her curly head snapped over to Liam again, looking at him with newfound interest. “You were in One Direction!?” She exclaimed in shock. 

Liam laughed lightly, nodding. “Yup!” He said. “I was in the band.”

“Woah,” Allie said, her eyes as wide as saucers. Even Robbie, who was hidden shyly behind Harry was peeking out just enough to get a glimpse of Liam with peaked interest. 

“What, are you a big One Direction fan?” Liam asked, kneeling down so that he was level with the four year old. Allie bobbed her head up and down vigorously. 

“Yeah!” She exclaimed. “D’you wanna dance with us?”

“Ugh, it’s too hot for dancing, Alligator,” Niall groaned, fanning himself. “I’m sweating buckets over here! I’m all sticky and gross!”

“You’re always gross, uncle Niall,” Robbie giggled quietly, peeking his head out from behind his father. He had a cute, little smile on his face and his eyes were dancing. 

Niall pretended to look affronted. “You’ll pay for that one, you little rugrat!” With that, Niall jumped forwards, grabbing Robbie and tossing him over his shoulder. 

Robbie squealed in laughter, squirming around over his shoulder. “Lemme go, uncle Niall! Lemme go!” He laughed loudly, his voice echoing in the room. 

“Not until you say sorry!” Niall threatened, spinning around a little in circles, causing the boy to laugh even harder. “Say you’re sorry and that I’m not gross!”

“Careful, Niall,” Harry warned, but he was smiling at the exchange. 

“I’m sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Robbie giggled hysterically. “You’re not gross!”

Niall gave him one final spin. “That’s much better,” he said, lifting the boy off of his shoulder and placing him gently back onto the ground. “And don’t you ever forget it.”

Robbie nearly fell over onto the floor again from being dizzy, but managed to stay on his feet. Allie, however, wasn’t done with Liam yet. 

“So,” she started, eyeing him up and down as she took a step closer. “If you’re in the band, and daddy was in the band, does that mean you’re friends? Cause uncle Niall was in the band, and he’s friends with daddy.”

“Of course we’re friends,” Liam said, looking down at the girl. “Your daddy and I used to be best friends.”

Allie had her brow furrowed and her eyebrows were scrunched together in thought. “So… if you and daddy are friends, and if you were in the band together… does that mean you're my uncle too?”

“Y-your, what?” Liam asked, looking at the girl in shock. He then glanced up at Harry questioningly. “I mean, that’s your dad’s decision…”

Harry just shrugged. “Sure,” he answered easily. “We’ve been friends for ten years. You can be Allie and Robbie’s uncle. If you want to, that is.”

“Please?” Allie said, looking up at him with her widest, most innocent, pleading eyes. “Please, please, please?”

“Yeah, I’d love to,” Liam said with a smile. 

“Yay!” Allie exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly. She grabbed Liam’s hand quickly, and started pulling him throughout the house. “Come on! You can come play with me now!”

***

The rest of the day went very smoothly. Niall and Liam stayed for most of the day, spending it with Harry and the twins. They were great with them, as always, and it was quite nice for Harry to have them around. 

As per Allie’s suggestion, they all went swimming in the pool. It was nice since it was boiling hot outside, and they were all sweaty and gross, so a dip in the pool felt amazing. Allie and Robbie had both sat in the shallow area, splashing one another while the three men spent some time together. 

It was kind of weird for Harry, to be spending the day with both Liam and Niall. It was nice, but it was weird at the same time. Even when they were in a band, the three of them hardly spent any time on just the three of them. It was either two of them hanging out, or all five of them. 

Harry couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic at that. He missed the band, no matter how many times he tried to deny it. He missed the togetherness of it all, how they would be five best friends living the dream together. 

But he quickly pushed those reminiscing thoughts out of his head. Because along with the dream, it came with a nightmare. And he wasn’t ready to start thinking about that again just yet. 

After swimming, they had made sandwiches for lunch. Niall had complained all over again about how Hary never had any good food, but he had eaten the sandwich nonetheless. Liam had even stayed for lunch, which was nice. 

Allie and Robbie were already getting attached to him, as they hardly let him out of their sights since he had been dubbed as their new uncle. Allie had practically glued herself to him, talking animatedly into his ear and playing. 

Robbie had been harder to get to come around. He was shy and nervous and didn’t do well with new people. But after about an hour of hiding behind Harry, he seemed to have decided that Liam was alright and then he was fine. 

After lunch, Liam had to go again. The twins made a big fuss about it, practically begging him not to leave. But Liam said that he had to, but he promised to be back soon. And he said that next time, he would bring Bear so that they could all meet. 

Once Liam was gone, Niall said that he had to leave as well. He was going on another date with the same girl from before, Amelia. So he had to leave as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !IMPORTANT!
> 
> So, hopefully everyone is reading this, because I have something to say.
> 
> Writing this story so far has been amazing and so much fun. You guys are so amazing and wonderful!
> 
> But it’s also been a challenge to get new chapters up everyday. So from now on, depending on how quickly I can write, I’ll only be updating every 2-3 days. BUT IM NOT QUITTING!
> 
> Please bear with me during this. I really want to get these chapters up for you guys as soon as possible, and I’m trying my best. I am NOT done with this story and I will be updating as soon as I can.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot get over how fricken supportive you all are- it’s so wonderfully insane!!
> 
> Also, I just want to say thank you to everyone, especially people who leave kudos and comments. I love your feedback and it helps me update faster.
> 
> Shoutout to JillianNelson, Cecile1976, and ShatteredGlassHouse! Thanks for reading my notes :)
> 
> Now, onto the story!!

The three of them were just relaxing on the couch. Robbie was colouring in his book while Harry checked his emails on his phone. Allie was just walking around, bored out of her mind. 

“I wanna play again, daddy,” Allie said with a whine as she flopped against the couch. “When are uncle Liam and uncle Niall coming back?”

“They’re not coming back today, love,” Harry said, tapping through his phone to look at the email he had received from Syco. “They have other things to do today and can’t play right now. But they’ll be back another day soon.”

“But I miss them,” Robbie pouted. “I want them to come back today.”

“Yeah, so that we can play,” Allie added. 

“I know, loves. But they can’t come back today,” Harry explained. “And it’s getting kind of late. I have to go make supper soon, and then it will be bathtime and then bedtime. You can play some more tomorrow.”

“But we’re bored,” whined Allie, crossing her arms over her chest. “We wanna do something!”

“How about you watch a movie?” Harry suggested. “You can watch a movie on Disney while I make the food. How does that sound?”

“What movie?” Robbie asked, his interest peaked. 

Harry smiled at him, already picking up the remote and turning the TV on. “Hmmm, I don’t know,” he said. “Do you want to watch the Lion King again? Or do you want to watch something else.”

“We always watch the Lion King,” Allie said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s watch something else. How ‘bout Bambi?”

“Yeah, let’s watch Bambi!” Robbie said excitedly. 

“Alright, Bambi it is,” Harry said happily, clicking on Disney Plus, before selecting the movie. “You two have fun watching this. I’m gonna go get started on supper now, we’re having chicken.”

“Ok, daddy,” Robbie said, his eyes already glued to the TV screen from where he was sitting on the couch. Harry ruffled their heads affectionately, before getting up and making his way towards the kitchen. 

Harry headed to the kitchen, already getting started on supper. He planned on having chicken with a side of greek salad and sweet potato. Something easy that wouldn’t take too much time to make. 

The salad was already made and in the fridge, just waiting to be eaten. So all Harry actually had to do was cook up the slices of sweet potato and cook up the chicken breast. It was easy and simple, a recipe he had made many times before. 

Honestly, Harry loved cooking. He always had. When he was younger, he would cook with his mother and she would teach him. Then as he grew older, he would cook food for the boys whenever they were on the road. And now he cooked every meal for his two kids. 

It was kind of therapeutic. He would put on a song on his speaker as he cooked. He would sway and sing to the music, feeling more relaxed and in his element. 

He was just getting started on the sweet potatoes when his music was suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door. 

‘ _ Who could that be?’  _ Harry thought to himself, furrowing his brows. It couldn’t be Niall or Liam, they had just left. It also couldn’t have been Gemma, since she was still in London at the moment. 

The person knocked again, this time slightly more loudly. Harry frowned as he wiped his hands on a cloth and made his way over to the front door. 

I’m retrospect, Harry should have expected something. He should have known that something was off, since whoever it was knocked twice, as if they were desperate to get inside. 

But Harry wasn’t suspicious. He didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary. He didn’t really know what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. 

Harry opened the front door casually. He glanced up for only a second, before he froze and his blood ran cold. 

Louis was standing there, a small concentrated frown on his face. He looked up when Harry answered the door, his piercing blue eyes gazing deep into the younger man’s soul. 

Harry seemed to snap out of his trance, and he instantly moved to close the door again. “No,” he said sharply. “No. You’re not here. No.”

“Harry-” Louis started, his eyes widening when the door started closing. “Harry, please. I just want to talk-”

“Yeah, well I don’t want to talk to you,” Harry snapped. “I don’t even want to look at you ever again. So please get off my property.”

He went to close the door again, but Louis jammed his foot in between the door and the wall. “Harry, please…” he pleaded. 

“No Louis. You’re not welcome here anymore,” Harry spat, trying to close the door, but to no avail. The man’s foot was still jammed in there, and he wasn’t moving it. 

“I want to talk to you,” Louis said desperately. “Please just let me talk to you. Please Harry.”

“You’ve said quite enough already,” Harry snapped. “Now move your foot before I close the door on it.”

“You don’t have to let me in,” Louis said hastily. “I don’t have to come in. Just please talk to me. Maybe not today, but we need to talk, Harry. Please, just talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Harry growled. “Now go away. We’re not doing this here- we’re not doing this anywhere.”

“Just-” Louis stammered, swallowing thickly. “Just please tell me one thing. Please, just please tell me…”

“Tell you what?” Harry snapped, his patience running low as he continued trying to close the door. “I swear, Tomlinson-”

“Are they mine?” Louis interrupted, his eyes wide. He was biting his bottom between his feet and looking at Harry with a pale expression. And honestly, if Harry didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was-  _ nervous? _

Harry considered lying. But he knew that it would work- not in the long run. So he just leaned heavily against the doorframe, running a hand through his hair. 

“Yes, Louis. Of course they’re yours,” he sighed tiredly. “There wasn’t- of course they’re yours. There was no one else. Ever.”

Louis’ face changed a little. It became less tense, and he allowed himself to slump down a little. He was running a hand through his hair. 

“That’s just- that’s-” he stammered, swallowing thickly. He seemed like he was thinking about something, before turning to look at Harry again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You said one thing,” Harry protested with a frown. “You had one question and I answered it. You can leave now.”

“Harry, just tell me why,” Louis begged desperately, his eyes wide. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you force yourself to do this all alone?”

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, breathing in deeply. “This is not the conversation we’re having in the doorway while I make dinner. This is not happening now.”

“Just tell me why,” Louis insisted. “Please, I have to know why at least.”

“Are you looking for the easy answer, Louis?!” Snapped Harry impatiently. “Are you? Because there isn’t one. There’s no simple answer I can give you in my doorway! This isn’t a three minute conversation.”

“Then talk to me,” Louis said. “Not here and not now, obviously. But talk to me,  _ please. _ I have to know. I have to know at least why you didn’t tell me you were pregnant with my kids.”

Harry wanted to say no. He really, really did. But maybe it was the tugging of his heartstrings when he thought of Louis knowing the twins, or maybe it was just because he was weak when it came to those blue eyes. 

But whatever he was, it was what caused him to groan. “You’re impossible, you know that?” He said quietly. “Fine, we can talk. Not now and not here, but we can talk.”

Louis melted a little, his face softening. “That’s all I want,” he said softly. 

“Now please, get out of my house before I-” started Harry. But he was interrupted by the sound of a sharp cry, followed by a few sobs. 

Harry tried his best to close the door to quickly shut Louis out, but he wasn’t quick enough. Almost as soon as the cry sounded, a pair of feet came running towards him. 

“DADDY! SHE’S DEAD! SHE’S DEAD!” Robbie cried, tears steadily flowing down his face as he ran over to Harry as he sobbed the whole way. 

Harry momentarily forgot about Louis in order to lift the boy into his arms. “What happened, love?” He asked in concern, his eyes wide as the boy sobbed. 

“She’s dead! They killed her! They killed her!” The boy cried, clutching at Harry’s neck with clenched fists. 

Before Harry could say anything else, there was another pair of feet running towards them. 

“It’s not my fault!” Allie exclaimed frantically. “Robbie, it’s just a movie. It’s not real.”

“BUT SHE'S DEAD!” Robbie yelled, burying his face into Harry’s neck. “AND SHE WAS REAL TO ME AND BAMBI!”

“Shh, it’s okay, Robbie,” Harry cooed, trying his way to ignore Louis’ gaze that was staring at them. “Was it the movie? What happened?”

“They shot Bambi’s mommy,” Allie explained. That only caused Robbie to cry even harder against Harry. “And I think she died. And then Robbie started crying.”

“Stop saying that!” Robbie cried at her. “She’s dead… why did they kill her, daddy? Why did they kill Bambi’s mommy?”

“It’s just a movie, love,” Harry assured him softly, running a hand through his hair. “It’s alright, it’s just a movie…”

“Daddy, what’s that smell?” Allie asked with a frown, scrunching up her nose as she sniffed the air. Harry paused, smelling the air as well. It smelt… like smoke.

Louis could even smell it too. “Something's burning,” he commented, scrunching up his nose in a way that was identical to the way Allie was doing it. Harry chose not to dwell on it. 

“The sweet potatoes!” He exclaimed when he saw some smoke starting to gather above them. He swore under his breath, before practically shoving Robbie into Louis’ arms suddenly. “Watch them.”

“Harry, what-” Louis started, his eyes wide in shock as he looked down at the small boy in his arms. A second later, Allie was also pushed into him suddenly, so that he was standing with the twins on the doorstep. 

“I said watch them,” Harry called over his shoulder, before dashing into the kitchen. It was very smokey, and he was surprised he hadn’t noticed it sooner. Smoke was billowing along the ceiling and throughout the kitchen, making it all a hazy grey colour.

Harry coughed into his arm, the smoke stinging his eyes. But he managed to run through it, heading straight for the over on the other side of the kitchen. He sprinted through, as to not have to breathe anymore than he had to. 

He got to the over and threw open the oven door. Instantly, more smoke came flooding out of it, causing the twenty four year old to have to physically turn away. He coughed a few more times into his elbow, the smoke stinging his throat. 

Harry grabbed a pair of oven mitts, before quickly yanking the pan out of the oven. The sweet potato slices were crisped black, and were each steaming off heat. He threw them onto the counter, before quickly turning the oven off again. 

Once he was certain that the oven was off, he took off again. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and his heart was hammering, so he started running for the door again, desperate to get out of the smoke. 

Thankfully, Louis was still standing on the doorstep, both twins still in his arms. He was looking at Harry like he had grown a second head. 

“Harry!” He exclaimed when Harry stepped out of the house again. “What are you thinking? You don’t run into the house when there’s a fire!”

“It wasn’t a fire, Louis,” Harry said, rolling his eyes. “It was something burning inside the oven. And there wouldn’t have even been smoke if you hadn’t shown up here and distracted me. So really, this is all your fault.”

“You still don’t run into smoke like that,” Louis muttered, sounding breathless. 

Harry rolled his eyes. “It’s fine. If it was actually dangerous I wouldn’t have done it, but it was fine,” he answered. “And you don’t need to pretend you care, because we both know that you don’t.”

“I never said I didn’t care-” 

“Yes you did. You’ve said it and you’ve proved it everyday since,” Harry interrupted, not wanting to hear some stupid excuse. “Whatever, Louis. Just give me back my kids.”

Louis bit his lip. He looked like he wanted to hold them longer, and he looked like he actually might’ve. But then he swallowed thickly and nodded, placing them both onto the ground once again. 

Allie was looking up at him with a furrowed brow. “Who are you?” she asked with a frown, studying him up and down suspiciously. 

Harry clenched his jaw, glancing up quickly at Louis. “This is Louis,” he said finally, leaving it at that. 

“Who’s Louis?” Allie pressed. “Are you one of daddy’s friends?”

Again, Harry hesitated, swallowing. These twenty questions with his daughter were making him feel more and more uncomfortable, especially with Louis standing right there. But he wasn’t going to let his kids see that, so he forced a tight smile onto his face. 

“Louis was in the band,” he stated simply, ignoring her question. Because, no, he and Louis weren’t friends and wouldn’t ever be friends. 

Robbie, who had been silent nearly the whole time, spoke up quietly. He was looking up at Louis with wide eyes, his bottom lip already starting to tremble. “Are you the one daddy was yelling at?” He asked, sniffling. “Are you gonna y-yell again?”

The small boy looked like he was about to start crying, so Harry quickly scooped him into his arms. “No, we’re not gonna start yelling,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the boy’s head. “Louis was actually just leaving.”

A look seemed to flash over Louis’ face, and his shoulder slumped down a little. He forced his lips into a tight line, nodding. “We’re going to talk, Harry,” he said quietly. 

“Sure, whatever,” Harry replied shortly. 

“You have my number still, right?” Louis asked. 

Harry really wanted to say no. He wanted to say that he had burned any bridges involving Louis. That he had moved on completely and had cut the other man out of his life for good. He wanted to say that he had deleted his number the first chance he got. 

But he didn’t. He just slumped down, lowering his head. “Yeah, I still have your number,” he mumbled in shame. 

Louis didn’t say anything, he just nodded. “Ok, I’ll text you,” he said, taking a step back. “And I’m really sorry. I’m so fu- I mean,  _ fricken,  _ sorry. I don’t- I didn’t- I’m so sorry.”

Harry just nodded, keeping his mouth clamped shut. Louis took another step back. “Ok, I guess I’ll see you around,” Louis murmured. 

“Bye Louis!” Allie yelled, waving her hand at the man. “Come back soon!”

Louis clenched his jaw, forcing a tight smile onto his face as he waved back at the small girl. “Bye Allie, bye Robbie,” he said tightly. “Bye Harry.”

***

After the whole dinner fiasco, Harry had ordered takeout. He wasn’t going to cook a whole other meal, especially considering the fact that the oven was still occasionally letting out a wisp of smoke. 

Thankfully, the smoke had cleared out pretty quickly and the kitchen was the only room that they couldn't really go into. But other than that, the rest of the rooms were fine and they could go back into the house. 

It was seven o’clock when Harry decided that it was time for the twins to start getting ready for bed. 

“Alright, it’s time to get ready for bed, my loves,” he said, standing up from the couch. Allie and Robbie were both leaning against him, watching the Lion King on the screen, after they had decided to turn Bambi off. 

Allie pouted, while Robbie didn’t even put up a fight. The small boy just curled further into Harry, lying his head down tiredly onto his father’s shoulder. 

“I’m not even sleepy yet,” Allie pouted, but her eyes were becoming heavier and heavier as she tried to stay awake. 

Harry chuckled lightly, rubbing her head softly. “Of course you aren’t,” he said fondly. “But c’mere. We’re gonna go get ready for bed just in case you decide that you are tired.”

“I won’t. M’ never tired…” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn. But she still allowed Harry to take her hand and start leading her up the stairs. 

Both twins brushed their teeth quickly, with Harry supervising in the corner of the washroom. He always had to watch to make sure that they actually did it properly, since sometimes they cheated and tried to get away with not brushing properly. 

By the time they were finished and dressed in their pajamas, they were practically dead on their feet. Both were stumbling around tiredly, blinking as they tried to stay awake. 

Robbie was already half asleep before Harry could even help him out on his pajama shirt. It was cute, seeing the small boy blinking tiredly, trying his best to stay awake, and Harry couldn’t help but smile fondly. 

“C’mere, Robbie,” he cooed, easing the small boy down into his bed. “Shh, go to bed. I love you. Goodnight.”

Robbie didn’t reply, he was already asleep. So Harry placed a small kiss to his forehead, before getting up and heading over to his daughter’s bedroom. 

Allie was sitting in her bed, already dressed in her pajamas. She looked just as tired as her brother had been, sitting up and blinking groggily. 

“Hello, love,” Harry murmured, walking over and running a hand through her hair. “Time for bed, yeah?”

She nodded tiredly, not even having the energy to reply. Harry smiled at her, easing her down nito the bed as he had done just a second ago for his other child. 

“There we go, love. Go to sleep now,” he whispered, kissing her hair. “Goodnight. I love you.”

“Love you too, daddy,” she murmured, already dropping off to sleep. Harry smiled at her, before closing the door again. 

Even though it was still fairly early in the night, Harry decided that he was going to head to bed as well. He just didn’t really feel like staying up alone tonight, and was just ready for the day to end. 

He headed into his bedroom and quickly stripped down to his boxers, before sliding into the bed. He flopped unceremoniously onto the pillows, slumping into the comfort of the large, fluffy mattress. 

Harry pulled out his phone, deciding to scroll through his emails one final time before heading off to bed. There was an email from Syco, but he had already seen it. Basically, they wanted to schedule another meeting for next week. 

Harry also had received a text, so he checked that quickly. It was from Louis, and his heart instantly started hammering. He clicked on it without thinking. 

_ Hey Harry, it’s Lou. _

_ I was just wondering when you wanted to meet up and where. We have another band meeting with Syco next week, so I was hoping maybe we could meet before then. I really need to talk to you.  _

_ Please text me back.  _

Harry sighed as he read that message over again. He could practically hear Louis’ voice saying those words to him, and he hated it. He hated the fact that he could still picture Louis in his mind after all those years. 

He also didn’t know how to respond. He had told Louis that he was willing to meet up and talk about things, but he wasn’t sure if he really was. He didn’t want to face Louis- not after everything that had happened between them. 

But he still ended up responding. 

_ Hello Louis.  _

_ We can meet somewhere this week. How about at the Beachwood Cafe on the 16th? Does 3:00 work? _

He sent the message after reading it over a few times. It was fine. It sounded civil enough and it was straight to the point. Perfect. 

But he hadn’t expected Louis to respond immediately after he sent it. Almost as soon as he hit send, three small dots appeared on the screen. 

_ Yeah, that sounds great. See you then. _

Harry didn’t bother replying. Instead, he forced himself to turn his phone off and put it onto his bedside table. He didn’t want to hear from anyone else tonight. Especially not Louis. 

So he put his phone away before turning onto his side and closing his eyes, hoping and praying that he’d be able to sleep tonight. 

But three hours later, he was still awake, lying in his bed. Thoughts were running through his mind a millions miles a minute, making it impossible for him to fall asleep. He just lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling silently. He was not going to be getting any sleep tonight.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... I wonder what’s gonna happen next...
> 
> Hope you all loved it! Leave your thoughts in the comments and I promise to get back to you! I’ll also try and update soon xx


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone!! Comments and kudos are literally amazing, and I’m always blown away by the amount of people reading this!!
> 
> Shoutout to kidsinthekitchen and Titaniumwolf998! Thanks for reading my notes xxx
> 
> Now without further ado, here’s chapter 12...

“Grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma!” Allie and Robbie both chanted excitedly, sprinting towards the door that morning as fast as their small legs could carry them. 

Anne smiled, dropping her bags that she had been carrying and kneeling down. “Hello my darlings!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms open for them to run into. The twins both sprinted right into the hug, throwing their small arms around her neck. 

“I missed you, grandma!” Robbie exclaimed, burying his face into her shoulder as he jumped up and down excitedly a few times. 

Anne just chuckled, squeezing them tightly. “I missed you too, little loves!” She said kindly, pressing a firm kiss to both of their temples. 

“Did you bring presents?” Allie asked, her eyes already looking at the bags somewhat longingly. 

“Allie, don’t be rude,” Harry scolded her lightly, beaming. When Anne stood up, he crossed the room and grabbed her into another hug. “Hello mum.”

Anne wrapped her arms around her son, squeezing him gently. “Hello, dear,” she said. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been better, but I’m alright,” Harry answered honestly, knowing there was no point in lying to his mum. She knew everything, and could tell if he didn’t tell her the truth, so there was no point in even trying. 

She looked at him sympathetically. “I’m sorry, love,” Anne said. “Later on I’ll make you a cuppa and we can talk about it.”

“Thanks mum,” he said quietly, seeing that Allie and Robbie were at their feet once again. 

Despite Harry’s warning, Robbie was poking at Anne’s leg expectantly. “Did you bring us anything?” He asked cutely, looking up at her with excited eyes. 

“Of course I did!” Anne exclaimed before Harry could say anything. “I couldn’t just come here empty handed, now could I?”

“What is it, what is it!?” Allie asked, hopping up and down excitedly on spot. 

Anne smiled, patting her on the head. “One second, love. Let me just find it.” 

She then picked up her purse and began rummaging around in it for a little while. Allie and Robbie were both standing on their tiptoes, trying to get a glimpse of what it was, but the purse was too high for them to see. 

Finally, Anne exclaimed. “Oh, here they are!” She said. She reached into her bag and then pulled out two small, brown teddy bears, both dressed in a shirt that looked like it was made out of a British flag. 

The twins gasped at the sight. “Ooh!” Robbie breathed, reaching his hands up for the bear, his eyes shining excitedly. 

“Like them?” Anne asked, handing a bear to each of the twins, which they grabbed instantly and coddled to their chests. 

“I love it!” Allie shouted, hugging the bear close. “Thank you grandma!”

Robbie nodded in agreement. “Thank you grandma!” 

Anne beamed at them, smiling softly at the two four year olds. “I’m so happy you like them. But that’s not all I got you,” she said. The woman reached into her purse once more, before pulling out two full-length chocolate bars. 

“CHOCOLATE!” Allie nearly screamed, already reaching out to take it. 

Anne chuckled, handing one of them to her, before passing the other one to her grandson. They both accepted them eagerly, already trying to rip the packaging off of them. 

Harry, however, raised his eyebrows. “More candy?” He asked with a small frown. “You’re really spoiling them.”

But Anne just waved him off. “I’m their grandma, it’s my job to spoil them!” She answered happily. “Besides, it’s only a little bit of candy. Heaven knows they deserve it.”

Harry paused, before sighing. Of course she was right, Anne was always right. And Allie and Robbie definitely deserved some chocolate if it would make them feel good. Especially since everything was going to change for them. 

“Alright,” he said, giving on. “Don’t eat that wrapping, Robbie- here, let me open it.”

He took the bar from the boy, opening it and then handing it back. Robbie grabbed it greedily, taking a big bite into the chocolate bar. “Yummy!” He said happily. 

“You wanna come play with me in my room, grandma!?” Allie asked excitedly, her mouth still full of chocolate. 

Anne patted her head lovingly. “Chew and swallow, love,” she instructed. “We can go play after you finish your chocolate.”

Allie didn’t say anything, but she chewed thoroughly before swallowing the chocolate down her throat. “Ok! Come play now grandma!”

Anne laughed lightly at the small girl’s antics, looking at her fondly. “Well, aren’t you just as energetic as ever,” she commented. “We’re going to have plenty of time to play later, my love. But first I should probably unpack all these bags.”

“Oh, I can take those, mum,” Harry said hastily, moving to grab her bags from her. “You know the way to your room.”

Anne smiled at him. “Thank you, dear,” she said. “Allie, Robbie, do you want to come unpack with me?”

Robbie pouted a little. “That’s boring,” he said softly. “We wanna play.”

“We can play after this, sweethearts,” Anne said patiently. “But you daddy has somewhere to go right now and I have to unpack. And I can’t do it without my two special helpers!”

Allie looked up at Harry, confusion flashing over her face. “Where are you going?” She asked with a small frown. 

Harry bent down to her, patting her on the head. “Remember Louis?” He asked. The twins nodded hesitantly. “Well, I’m going to meet up with him today. But it will only be for a little while, and then I’m coming back.”

“We don’t want you to go,” Robbie said, his eyes wide and sad. “You’re always leaving for meetings and stuff. And I don’t like it.”

Harry’s heart broke a little at that. He knew that signing with Syco was going to mean being out more often, but he had been trying to spend as much at home as possible. But apparently he hadn’t been doing enough if his kids had started to notice his absence. 

“I’m sorry, love,” he said sadly. “I don’t want to leave you. But I have to go to meetings now and see more people.”

But that didn’t seem to make him feel better. In fact, it caused his lower lip to start trembling. “Why do you need to go see more people?” Robbie asked shakily. “Do you not want to see us anymore?”

At that, Harry’s heart literally shattered and he quickly gathered the small boy into his arms and held him closely. “No baby, nothing like that,” he said earnestly. “I love you and Allie so, so much. I don’t ever want to leave you.”

“Then why do you hafta go to the meetings? Why can’t you stay here with us?” The four year old asked into his shoulder. 

Harry just held him tighter. “I do want to stay here with you, baby,” he answered. “I really do. But I have to leave sometimes for work.”

“I hate work,” Robbie complained pitifully. 

“I know, love. I hate work too,” Harry said. “Maybe I should just cancel with Louis today… I don’t need to meet up. He’ll understand, hopefully…”

“Harry,” Anne said, getting her son’s attention. “You have to go today. That’s the only way you two will ever end up talking before the meeting, and you know it. The twins will be fine, I’ll be here with them.”

“And we’ll play?” Allie asked hopefully, looking up at her grandma. 

Anne nodded. “Yep, we’ll play,” she declared. “And we’ll have loads of fun. Really Harry, we’ll be fine. You just need to go to that meeting and get it over with, otherwise you’ll regret it later.”

Harry wanted to argue, but he knew that she was right. Obviously, Anne was  _ always _ right. But he still didn’t want to, especially since Robbie had seemed so sad just a moment ago, and he was really dreading seeing Louis. 

But he gave in to his mother’s pointed stare. “Ugh, fine,” he groaned finally. “I’ll go.”

He then pried himself out of Robbie’s tight grip, unclenching the boy’s fists that were gripping his clothes. The boy whined a little as he stood up, pouting up at him. “Don’t go, daddy,” he whimpered. 

Harry was about to give in all over again, when Anne stepped in. “Daddy has to go, love,” she said softly. “But he’ll be back soon. And you can play with me and Allie while he’s gone.”

“Yeah, Grandma is fun, Robbie!” Allie exclaimed, grabbing her brother’s hand and pulling him away from Harry. “Come play with us!”

Robbie still looked reluctant, glancing back longingly at Harry as he was pulled away by his sister. He looked nervous, his lip caught in between his teeth and his eyes wide. 

“It’s alright, baby,” Harry assured him. “I’m gonna be back before you know it. Now, you go play with Allie and Grandma.”

“O-ok,” the boy stuttered. “Bye bye, daddy. Come back soon.”

“I will,” Harry said with a smile, waving at the two of them. He then turned to Anne and shot her a grateful smile. “Thanks so much mum.”

“It’s not a problem, love. Now go, or you’ll be late,” she said, shooing him out of the house. 

Harry rolled her eyes, but listened nonetheless. He made his way out of the door reluctantly, before getting into his car and driving off. 

***

Harry walked into the Beachwood Cafe, pushing open the door. A small bell above the doorway gave a small jingle as he walked in, a signal to everyone in the cafe that he had walked in. 

He could feel anxiety creeping on his skin, but he tried to brush it off.  _ ‘No need to be nervous. You’re just meeting your ex boyfriend who happens to know that you kept his two children a secret from him for five years. No biggie.’ _

Well, actually it was a pretty big biggie to Harry. He could already feel that it was a bad idea, and he was greatly considering bolting out the door again and never coming back, but his gaze managed to catch on Louis’.

Those piercing blue eyes were staring right at him, followed by a very familiar face. Harry gulped, suddenly even more nervous about seeing Louis, and the urge to run became more intense. 

_ ‘Calm down,’  _ he said to himself mentally.  _ ‘You’re just as strong as he is. You can do this. No need to be scared. Just go talk to him. You got this.’ _

Harry took another deep breath, before forcing his legs (which were frozen to the spot) to start moving towards the other man. He walked over in his direction to where Louis was sitting at a table. 

Louis was watching him as he approached the table. “Hey,” he said with a small, polite head nod. 

“Hey,” Harry answered curtly, moving to the seat opposite from Louis, before sitting down stiffly. He could feel Louis’ staring at him still, so he tried to look as natural as possible in the seat, easing himself back. 

Louis cleared his throat awkwardly, tearing his eyes away from Harry again. “I, uh, I’ve been here for a little while, so I already ordered drinks,” he said. 

Harry then noticed the two cups sitting on the table. He raised an eyebrow at them questioningly. “You got me a drink?” he asked, unsure if he had heard correctly. 

“Um, yeah,” Louis said, shifting his weight nervously. “I didn’t really know what you like anymore, so I just got you a matcha tea latte. You used to like them before, so…”

“I liked them before, so you assumed I like them now?” Harry scoffed lightly. “I’m not the same person I was before. Not at all.”

At that, Louis looked surprised. But he didn’t say anything, just ducked his head downwards. “I didn’t know what you would want…” he trailed off, shifting again in his seat. 

Harry nearly groaned to himself. “It’s fine,” he said shortly, reaching for the cup. “I still like them. And I’m not here to start a fight with you. Sorry.”

“No, no. it’s alright,” Louis mumbled, taking a sip of his own drink. It was a Yorkshire tea, just like he used to have them. His drink preferences seemed to have stayed the same as well. 

Harry brought the drink up to his lips and took a long sip of it. The drink was still nice and hot, and the liquid burned down his throat. He hummed happily at the taste of it. He had always been weak for matcha. 

Louis sniffed, bringing Harry back to reality. “So,” the man said. “Um, how do you want to do this?”

Harry opened his eyes (they had somehow closed while he was enjoying the bliss of his drink) and looked at him with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean?” He asked, confused. 

“I mean,” Louis said. “How do you want this meeting to go?”

Oh right, the meeting. The only reason that Harry was in the cafe in the first place. “Oh, um…” Harry said, glancing down into his mug. “I mean, I guess you could ask me stuff. And I can answer some of your questions…”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, that would be great,” he said. 

“Alright,” Harry said stiffly. “I don’t really want to have to be here very long. So if we could just cut right to the chase, that would be great.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Louis said, nodding again. 

‘ _ Why is he being nice. It would be so much easier to be rude to him if he’d just be rude back,’  _ he thought ruefully to himself. 

“Do you have any questions?” Asked Harry. Because, duh, of course Louis has questions. That was the whole reason for this meeting. 

Louis nodded. “Uh, yeah. Quite a few actually,” he mumbled, looking Harry dead in the eyes. “First of all,  _ how?” _

“How?” Harry repeated, raising an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean ‘how?’ You do know how babies are made, don’t you Tomlinson?”

“Of course I know how they’re made,” Louis snapped back, running a hand through his hair. “What I’m asking is how you could have gotten pregnant and not told me.”

At that, Harry bit his lip and looked down to where his hands were playing with the hem of his t-shirt. It was one of his favourites, the one that read ‘But Daddy I Love Him.’

“Uh,” he said quietly, the fire now gone from his voice and was instead replaced with anxiousness. “We were broken up…”

“We were broken up! That doesn’t mean that you had any right to keep that from me!” Louis exclaimed. 

“You broke up with me, not the other way around. And don’t you ever forget that, Louis,” snapped Harry. “You left me.”

“When did we do it? We would’ve actually  _ made  _ them before we broke up. Why didn’t you tell me then?” Louis demanded. “You could’ve told me before we broke up.”

“I didn’t know then!” Hardy exclaimed, exasperated. “I didn’t know until you had left me! And by then it was too late!”

“We were still in a band then, Harry,” Louis growled. “We were still together everyday making music. You should’ve told me then. It wasn’t like I suddenly fled the country or anything.”

“Because I didn’t know what to do!” Harry shouted. “I was nineteen, Louis! That’s too young to get pregnant! I was a  _ teenager!  _ I was scared and confused and alone! I didn’t even know if I was going to keep them at that point!”

“So what? You were gonna get an abortion and not tell me?” Louis snapped, narrowing his eyes. 

Harry threw his hands up in the air. “Yes, I was considering it! I was a pregnant teenager who had just been dumped by the love of his life! Of course I was considering getting an abortion!”

“You should have told me,” insisted Louis. “I would have stayed and I would have helped you if you had just told me-“

Harry scoffed, cutting him off before he could finish. “No you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t let you,” he spat. “You left me.”

“I would have stayed if I had known that you were literally carrying my babies inside of you!” Louis exclaimed. “I would have stayed if you had told me!”

“And that’s why I didn’t tell you! Because you would have only stayed for the babies!” Harry yelled. “You wouldn’t have stayed for me- and don’t say that you would have! You dumped me when you didn’t know, so why would you have stayed if you did?!”

“I would have stayed for them,” Louis said, clenching his jaw. 

“Exactly!” Harry exclaimed. “You wouldn’t have stayed for me! You didn’t love me! I should have been enough for you, but I wasn’t! Apparently I had to get pregnant for you to stay!”

Louis rolled his eyes. “We were young, Harry. You were nineteen and I was twenty one.”

“Too young?! Is that what you’ve been telling yourself?!” Harry snapped, fired up. “You think we broke up because we were too young?!”

“No, I’m saying that that was one part of it. We were too young and we weren’t in love-” 

“No, Louis,” Harry interrupted. “ _ You  _ weren’t in love. I was head over heels for you, but you left me. So do not-  _ do not-  _ say that we weren’t in love when I always was.”

When he was finished, Louis didn’t seem to have any words. The other man was just staring at him, jaw clenched and eyes piercing. 

He didn’t say anything, so Harry took it upon himself to continue. “And I’m not here to talk about our breakup. And if that’s all you wanted to talk about, then I’m done here.”

“You were pregnant at nineteen?” Louis spoke up before Harry could even consider leaving. “So… that means they’re four?”

Hesitantly, Harry nodded, easing himself back into the chair. “Yeah, they’re four,” he said. 

Louis nodded again, his frown still furrowed and a frown ever present on his face. “What are their names?”

“Allie and Robbie,” Harry said instantly, relieved that they weren’t discussing the touchy topic of their breakup anymore. 

“I meant what are their  _ full _ names?” Louis said, causing Harry to freeze and swallow thickly. 

“Um,” he said, glancing down at his hands again. “Robbie James Tomlinson and Alison Johannah-Anne Tomlinson.”

Louis’ eyebrows shot all the way up his forehead, and he looked genuinely shocked. “They have my last name?” He asked, disbelieving. 

Harry nodded silently. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “They do.”

“Why?” Louis couldn’t help but wonder. 

The curly haired man shrugged. “I was twenty and still in love with you when they were born,” he answered weakly. “I guess some part of me still wanted you in their lives, even if you weren’t actually going to be there.”

They both fell silent, Harry’s words lingering uncomfortably in the air. It was like a heavy, invisible blanket had been dropped onto them, hanging heavily over their heads. 

“Harry…” Louis breathed, his face softening. His hand reached over for Harry’s, which was resting on the table.

Harry was quick to pull his hand away. “Don’t,” he warned, pulling his hand back into his lap, away from the other man’s reach. 

Louis nodded, drawing his own hand back as well. He cleared his throat. “How was it?” He asked. “Being pregnant, I mean.”

“Horrible,” Harry said, letting out a humourless, breathy laugh. “It was horrible. The first few months I couldn’t eat anything because I literally couldn’t stop vomiting. I think I actually lost about ten pounds then.”

Louis hummed. “You kept getting sick during rehearsals and with the band,” he commented, his mind flashing back. 

Harry nodded. “Then after I found out, I didn’t even know if I wanted to keep them. You left, the band was splitting up and I was a teenager. I couldn’t have kids like that.”

“What changed your mind?” Louis asked, genuinely curious. 

Harry shrugged. “In the end, it was Niall. He was the one who dragged me out of the dark place I ended up for a little while and convinced me to have them. Thank god.”

“How was giving birth?” Louis asked, his eyes wide. 

Again, Harry shrugged. “It sucked. Hurt like hell,” he muttered, swirling his drink around in the mug. “Worst pain I’ve ever had to go through, but it was worth it.”

“I wish I was there,” Louis murmured quietly. 

“You could have been,” Harry shot back, lifting his head to look Louis dead in the eyes. 

The older man’s frown deepened. “Harry, I would have if you’d just told me-”

“No,” Harry said, cutting him off and holding his hands up to stop him. “We’re not talking about this again. Not now. I just can’t do it now. So if you have any more questions about Allie and Robbie, you can ask, but if not-”

“Can I see them?” Louis asked suddenly, his wide eyes meeting Harry’s emerald ones. 

Harry inhaled sharply at that. “You’ve already seen them,” he answered stiffly. 

“Harry, please,” Louis asked, his eyes going wide and pleading. “I want to see them. I want to meet them. Please, Harry.”

“I don’t think that’s a good-” Harry started. 

“Harry, please,” Louis begged. “Please. I just want to meet them. Please just let me come meet them. I’m begging you, Haz.”

Harry stiffened instantly. “Don’t call me that.”

“Ok, ok, I won’t!” Louis said hastily. “Just please let me meet them, Harry. They’re yours, I know, but they have my DNA too. I just want to see them.”

Harry didn’t like it. He didn’t want Louis to walk into his own life, let alone the lives of his kids. He just wasn’t ready to see him again. He didn’t think he’d ever be ready to see him again. 

But he also couldn’t stop himself from thinking of Louis meeting Allie and Robbie. The thought alone was what made him crack. 

“A short visit,” he said sternly. “Just to get to know them a little, then you leave.”

Louis nodded frantically. “Yes, of course,” he said eagerly. “I just want to see them.”

“Fine,” Harry said, giving in. “You can come by and meet them.”

“Now?” Louis asked, surprised when he saw Harry starting to get up to leave. 

The twenty four year old looked at him expectantly. “Uh, yeah,” he said with a shrug. “Unless you’re doing something more important.”

“No, no I’m not,” he said, already jumping to his feet. “Meeting you was all I had planned for today.”

Harry nodded stiffly. “Ok, I’ll meet you at my place,” he said, turning to leave. 

“Uh, actually Harry,” Louis said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I sorta walked here…”

Harry groaned, rolling his eyes. “Of course you did,” he grumbled. “Ugh, guess you’re driving with me then.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Louis said earnestly, following the other man out of the cafe. 

“Whatever,” Harry answered. “Let’s just get this over with.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddddd, sorry I haven’t updated in a while. Life has just gotten in the way a little, but I hope you all enjoy this chapter!!

They drove in almost complete silence. Harry was driving (obviously) and Louis was sitting in the passenger’s seat, staring silently out the window as they drove along. 

Harry was gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles nearly turning white. He also refused to look anywhere near Louis’ direction, instead opting to keep his eyes trained stiffly onto the road.

The temperature in the car seemed to have dropped several degrees, even though neither of them had said anything yet. But the tension was lying thickly in the air, making it almost hard to breathe. 

Harry was dreading getting out of the car with Louis. He was dreading bringing the man into his house and letting him meet his kids. He was dreading everything about that car ride and specifically where they were going. 

He had already messaged his mum, letting her know what was going on. He knew that if she hadn’t been warned, there was a chance that she might flip out. Sure, she had loved Louis at one point, but that was before he had broken Harry’s heart. 

So, when they finally pulled into Harry’s driveway, the twenty four year old didn’t know if he was more scared of bringing Louis into his house or for keeping him longer in the car. Neither one seemed like a good idea to him. 

Louis cleared his throat. “So…” he said, shifting to finally look at Harry. 

Harry didn’t say anything and he didn’t even look in his direction. “Let’s go,” he muttered, turning the car off and opening his door. Louis did the same, and they both walked up to the door. 

They got to the door, and Harry could literally feel Louis’ vibrating next to him. He nearly rolled his eyes at that. He didn’t know if Louis was vibrating from nervousness or from excitement, but either way he didn’t like it and he was just hoping the man would get control over himself. 

Harry reached for the door handle, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to open it. Because he wasn’t just opening a door. He was opening his life back up to Louis, and he wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t ready to let the man in after all those years. 

Louis had been his everything for so long. Louis had been his entire life for five whole years, and then he had left. It wasn’t just a sudden thing, Harry had known it was coming. But it still felt like everything had been ripped out from under him, leaving him alone. 

He had been alone and heartbroken for so long after Louis left. It had just been himself, sitting in the washroom with his back against the wall, sobbing painfully. His heart had been shattered, and he didn’t know how he could have moved on. 

But he did. Harry had found out that he was pregnant. Well, really it had been Niall who had figured it out. Niall had joined the dots together pretty quickly, and had confronted Harry about it. 

Turns out when you’re already three months pregnant and only have six months to get ready for them, you get your life together pretty quickly. It had been hard to move on, but Niall had been amazing. He had also had his mum and Gemma, who had been there for him the whole time, making it all that much easier. 

And he had moved on. He had Allie and Robbie, and they had become his only real priority. Anything he did revolved around them, trying to make their lives everything they deserved it to be, even though they had had a rocky start in life. He was determined to give them everything. 

And then Louis had been completely out of the picture. And even though Harry’s heart ached terribly every time he saw a picture of Louis and Eleanor out together, he didn’t let it encompass his life anymore. He didn’t. 

But now here he was, about to open his front door and let Louis walk right into it all over again. He was about to let Louis back into, not only his life, but the lives of his kids as well. And he didn’t know how he could do that. 

“Harry?” Louis asked hesitantly, breaking the younger man from his thoughts. He looked apprehensive, his tone soft and tentative, as if he was scared of startling Harry. 

Harry just shook his head, letting out a deep exhale from his mouth. “Just-” he breathed, closing his eyes. “Just please don’t… don’t say anything. You have a few minutes with them. Just please don’t talk to me.”

Louis’ face crinkled in worry, but he nodded slowly. “Ok,” he swallowed thickly. 

Harry nodded to himself, taking another deep breath. With his insides practically screaming at him the whole time, he slowly lifted his hand and grasped the cool, metal door handle. Then, with a final inhale, he pushed open the front door. 

The house was exactly how he left it, and the twins weren’t anywhere in sight. His mother also wasn’t there, which he was both thankful and unthankful for. 

Harry took his car keys out of his pocket and placed them onto the coat rack while Louis took the opportunity to look around the house with wide eyes. He had already been in the house, but apparently he felt the need to examine it all over again, much to Harry’s disdain. 

“They’re probably in the playroom with my mum,” he said stiffly to Louis, turning around with his arms crossed over his chest. 

Louis nodded. “Anne’s here?” He asked, with a hint of nervousness. Harry nodded, and Louis smiled softly to himself. “I’ve missed her.”

“Can’t say the feeling is mutual,” Harry said with a scoff, rolling his eyes. Anne used to be a pretty big fan of Louis, but that had immediately ended after she had found out what happened. 

Louis, as if reading his thoughts, grimaced. “She hates me, doesn’t she?” He winced. 

“Of course she hates you,” Harry scoffed. “She hates you, Robin hates you, Gemma hates you.”

“I pissed off the whole Styles family, didn’t I?” Louis concluded, his frown ever present on his face. If Harry didn’t know better, he would say that Louis looked guilty and maybe a little bit of regret. But Harry did know better. 

Harry snorted. “What do you think?” He snapped. “Of course my family hates you. That’s what happens when you break their son’s heart.”

“Harry,” Louis said softly. “I’m so sorry-”

Harry groaned again. “Shut up Louis,” he interrupted sharply. “You said you wouldn’t talk to me. This isn’t about our break up or whatever. This is about you meeting  _ my  _ kids. So shut up with your fake pity apologies. Nobody wants to hear it.”

Louis looked like he wanted to say something else by the way he was chewing on his lower lip. But apparently he decided not to say it, and just deflated. “Ok, I won’t say anything else,” he mumbled, dejectedly. 

“And stop acting sad,” Harry added quickly. “Robbie hates when people are sad. So if you’re going in there, you’re going in there and acting happy.”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be happy.”

Harry took another deep breath, nodding to himself. “Ok,” he said quietly. “Let’s go.”

The two of them walked through the living room and over to where the playroom was located. As soon as they walked closer, Harry heard Louis take in a sharp inhale. 

Allie and Robbie were both sitting on the floor, chatting animatedly together. It looked like they were building houses out of blocks for their new bears, which was quite a cute sight. They both looked so happy and engrossed in their playing, that Harry had half a mind to kick Louis out before they could disrupt it. 

But it was at that moment that Allie looked up from her playing, her eyes landing on Harry. Immediately, her face lit up and a big smile appeared on her face. “Daddy!” She yelled, jumping up from the floor and rushing over to the twenty four year old. 

Harry smiled as well, kneeling down on the floor and wrapping his arms around the girl. “Hello, love!” He said, hugging his daughter tightly. 

It was only a second later that Robbie was also jumping up and rushing into Harry’s arms as well. He latched onto Harry and buried his face into the man’s neck. 

“Missed you, daddy,” he said softly, nuzzling closer to Harry.

Harry rubbed a circle on his back. “I missed you too, baby,” he said, knowing how stressed Robbie could get when he wasn’t around. “Did you have fun with grandma?”

Allie nodded. “Mhm!” She said happily. “We played the whole time! And then we ate chocolate!”

Harry smiled at her enthusiasm. “Wow, it sounds like you two had a blast,” he said. 

He had almost forgotten that Louis was there until he saw Robbie glance up. The small boy’s eyes went wide and he squeaked, hiding his face once again in Harry’s neck. 

Allie looked up as well, and cocked her head to the side. “Louis?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. 

Harry was kind of surprised that the girl remembered Louis, since she had only briefly met him when he had spontaneously showed up at their doorstep. Louis also looked surprised, but he quickly masked it with a smile. 

“Yup,” he said, nodding as he crouched down, level with the girl. “And you’re Allie, aren’t you?”

Allie’s eyes widened. “You know me?” She asked in surprise. 

Louis nodded, his face soft. “Yeah,” he said. “Your daddy talks about you a lot.”

“Daddy talks about me?” Allie asked with wide eyes, looking from Louis to Harry again. 

Louis nodded. “Yup, he talks about you and Robbie all the time,” he said happily to the girl. 

At the mention of his name, Robbie peaked his head out of Harry’s neck and looked over at Louis curiously. “Y-you know m-my name?” He asked shyly. 

Louis looked over at the boy, and a look passed over his face. But he quickly masked it again with a smile. 

“Mhm,” he said softly to the four year old. “‘Course I do. Do you remember me?”

Tentatively, Robbie nodded again. He looked shy and nervous, like he usually did when he was around new people. But now he also looked intrigued. 

Harry nudged his son gently with his arm. “You wanna go say hi?” He asked quietly. 

Robbie bit his lip, looking nervous. He looked like a small part of him wanted to go see Louis, but the other part was too scared to move out of the safety of Harry. 

Harry studied him for another second, before nudging him again. “Go on. You can go say hi,” he urged. 

At that, Robbie allowed himself to be nudged away. He still looked nervous as he walked over, shuffling his feet towards Louis. 

“Hi,” he squeaked quietly, ducking his head down low and letting his hair fall, masking his face. 

Louis’ face softened. “Hi,” he answered quietly, a somewhat pained smile on his face. “I’m Louis.”

“‘M Robbie,” murmured Robbie. He paused for a moment, before looking up at Louis curiously. “Are you our uncle?”

Louis did a double take, his head shooting up to look at Harry, his eyes wide. Harry looked equally as shocked. 

“Uh, what do you mean, baby?” Harry asked, trying to keep his voice level. “

“You know, daddy!” Allie exclaimed, cutting in. “We have uncle Niall and uncle Liam! And they’re your friends and are in the band!”

Harry instantly felt a huge surge of relief. They were just asking if he was like Niall and Liam. They still didn’t know anything, which was a huge relief for Harry. 

Louis, on the other hand, still looked confused. “What?” He asked, furrowing his brows. “Uncle Liam? Uncle Niall?”

“That’s what they call them,” Harry explained quickly. “It used to just be Niall, but they started calling Liam their uncle as well.”

“Yeah!” Allie spoke up. “Cos they’re in the band! And they’re daddy’s friends. And if you are daddy’s friend, then that means you’re an uncle!”

“Um,” Louis swallowed, looking up nervously at Harry awkwardly. He looked like he didn’t know what to say, and neither did Harry. 

Harry shifted his weight, taking a deep breath. “Uh,” he stammered, his throat feeling dry. “I don’t- it’s not the same thing.”

“Why not?” Asked Allie, frowning. Her and Robbie were now looking at Harry expectantly, their brows furrowed. 

“I mean,” Harry tried again, now feeling suddenly anxious. “I- Louis isn’t- it’s cause he’s your- it’s up to Louis.” He finished quickly, unable to think of anything else. 

The twins then looked over to Louis, who was looking at Harry in concern. “Uh,” he said, swallowing. “Why don’t I just be Louis for now?”

Allie pouts at that. “What? But that’s boring,” she said with a frown. 

“Do you not want to be our uncle?” Robbie asked, his eyes wide and his lip jutting out. 

This whole conversation was getting to be a lot for Harry. He couldn’t breathe in the room. The twins were too much, Louis was too much. He needed to get out for a second. 

Harry staggered to his feet, gripping the doorframe tightly. “I have to- I need some air,” he stammered, stumbling on his feet. 

“Are you okay?” Louis asked, a frown on his face as he studied Harry.

Harry just waved in response. He was unsteady and he just needed to get out of the room for a minute. He just needed some space. 

Unfortunately, Allie had other ideas. She was on her feet in a second, walked towards Harry with a concerned look on her face. 

“Daddy? Are you okay?” She asked. “Are you having another one of those panic things?”

Harry tried to smile at her, just to reassure the worried girl that he was fine, but it came out as more of a grimace. “No. I-I’m fine,” he stammered. “Just- just go see L-Louis or g-grandma please.”

He didn’t wait for the girl to say anything else, before he was stumbling out of the room. He didn’t know where he was going, just away from that room. 

Harry made it all the way to the kitchen, before he tripped on the counter leg and fell to the ground. He barely winced as he hit the ground, pushing himself against the wall and drawing his knees into his chest. 

_ ‘Get a hold of yourself,’  _ he screamed at himself mentally, wrapping his arms around himself.  _ ‘You are NOT having a panic attack now. Not in front of the twins. Not in front of Louis.’ _

Thankfully, no one was coming towards him. Neither of the twins were there, which meant that either Louis of his mum was entertaining them. Thank god. 

The last thing he needed right now was them walking in on their father breaking down in the kitchen. They had walked in on him panicking once when Niall was over. They were two at the time and we’re supposed to be asleep. Harry had then broken down after seeing pictures of Louis and Eleanor papped together. 

But ever since then, Harry had been good at hiding it from the two of them. He would only ever let himself panic whenever he was home alone or with a Niall. Other than that, he hadn’t allowed himself to ever let them see that. 

Until now, that is. It must have been because Louis was there. Louis was there and with the twins right now in his house, and that was what set him off over the edge. He couldn’t handle it. 

‘ _ Breathe, breathe, breathe,”  _ he chanted to himself, willing his lungs to suck in air. He was panicking and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. ‘ _ Breathe, breathe, breathe.’ _

He managed to suck in one shaky breath, before exhaling it slowly. He nearly choked on the air a few times, but forced it out. 

‘ _ Pull yourself together,’  _ he snapped at himself mentally. ‘ _ You can’t fall apart now. You can’t panic now. Now when Louis is here. You can’t let Louis see.’ _

He couldn’t let Louis see how broken he was. He couldn’t let Louis see how vulnerable he had left him. He couldn’t let Louis see that he didn’t have it all together. Especially not when Louis seemed like he was living his best life. 

He took another shaky breath in, and then let it out again. Another one. Two more. There we go. Another inhale. Now exhale. Deep breaths. 

What felt like a million years later, Harry felt like he could actually pull himself together. He could breathe again, so that was something. 

He stood up, his legs shaky underneath him. He actually had to grasp onto the counter to keep himself upright. 

“Ok,” he breathed to himself, wiping away the tears off of his face quickly. He shifted his weight away from the counter, nodding himself when he could stand properly. “Ok, I’m okay.” 

He probably looked like shit. He could imagine what he looked like already, and it was not pretty. His eyes would be rimmed red, causing the bags under his eyes to be a lot more defined. His hair would be messy from when he had been tugging at it. His clothes would be rumpled. He definitely looked like shit. 

But there was nothing to do about it now. He couldn’t change anything at this point, so he might as well just move on. He didn’t have a choice but to go back into the playroom. 

He walked over (stumbling a little) and peered into the room. Louis was sitting on the floor with the twins. They were all playing with the blocks again, and they all looked fully engrossed in the game. Even Louis, who was making various exaggerated expressions, seemed fully focused on the twins and the game. 

Anne was standing in the corner, arms crossed over her chest with a thoughtful expression on her face. She was watching the game silently from the corner of the room. 

Harry slinked over to her, making sure to stay silent so that they didn’t notice him. They didn’t, so he headed over to his mum. 

Anne looked up when he came over, her face instantly morphing into worry. “Are you alright, Harry?” She asked with a worried frown. 

“I’m fine,” Harry said shortly, leaning against the wall as well. “What’s going on in here?”

“Harry…” Anne protested softly, her face softening. “You have another attack, didn’t you?”

But the twenty four year olds just brushed her off again. “I said I’m fine,” he said again. “And even if I did, I don’t want to talk about it.”

Anne nodded, biting her lip. She still looked worried, but turned to look at the three of them on the ground again. “He’s been playing with them since you left,” she explained. 

Harry nodded. “He didn’t- he didn’t say anything he shouldn’t, right?” 

“No,” Anne assured him. “He’s actually been really great with them. Even Robbie already likes him. He’s really good with kids, you know.”

Harry swallowed. “He has a kid,” he reminded her. “Freddie. Of course he’s good with them.”

“But I mean that he’s good with  _ them.  _ He’s good with Allie and Robbie,” Anne pressed. “Maybe you should let him come over more often.”

Harry looked at her sharply. “Mum,” he warned. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Anne waved. “I know what he did was unforgivable, and you’re doing so good. But he should get a chance to see them. You know he should.”

“Why?” Harry demanded, asking her the exact question he has been asking himself for days. “Why should I let him back in?”

“He hurt you baby,” Anne said softly. “And I know that it still hurts. But Allie and Robbie deserve to know him at least.”

Harry frowned at that. Allie and Robbie deserved everything. And maybe that meant that they could meet Louis. But Harry didn’t know if he was strong enough for that. 

But before he could respond, Robbie, as if summoned by Harry’s presence, 

turned around. “Daddy!” He exclaimed. 

Louis and Allie both looked up as well. Allie brightened up instantly, smiling and beconning him over. “Come play, daddy!”

“Yeah, Lou is really, really fun!” Robbie added, not a hint of shyness lingering. “Come play with us, daddy!”

Harry winced at their loud tones, forcing a smile towards them. “I don’t know, loves,” he said, his voice wavering. “Why don’t you just play with Louis right now…”

Allie pouted while Robbie, ever the attentive one, cocked his head to the side. 

“Why’s your voice shaky, daddy?” He asked in confusion. “Are you okay?”

Harry bit his lip, swallowing thickly. “It’s alright, baby. I’m just kinda tired. Don’t worry about it.”

“But daddy!” Whined Allie. “It’s fun to play with you! Come play with us and Lou, please!”

Thankfully, Anne stepped in before Harry had to continue. “Daddy’s tired, Allie dear. You two can play with Louis now. Daddy’s gonna go lie down for a little bit.”

The twins didn’t protest again, probably deciding that it would be more fun to just sit on the ground and play rather than argue. So that gave Harry the chance to slip away. 

He mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ to his mum, before slinking out of the room. He made it down to the hallway, before Louis suddenly appeared next to him. 

“Harry,” he stated, his hand grabbing onto Harry’s elbow, effectively stopping him. “Wait.”

Harry turned around, letting his resolve crumble. He lifted his head, hearing Louis’ suck in a sharp inhale. Harry looked so tired and so broken, his eyes a dull grey colour and rimmed red. 

“What, Louis?” He asked misrably, running a hand over his eyes. 

Louis seemed to shake off his shock, and just looked concerned. “Are you alright?” He asked, his eyes wide. 

“W-what?” Harry asked, surprised by the question. He blinked a few times, unsure if he heard correctly. “Why do you care?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “We were friends first, Harry,” he answered. “Contrary to the popular opinion, I do care about you.”

“We’re not friends, Louis,” Harry answered. “I only said that to Allie and Robbie so that they wouldn’t know that-”

“That I’m their dad,” Louis cut in, a stony looked on his face and a raised eyebrow. 

“You’re not their dad,” Harry said sharply, narrowing his eyes. “I’m their dad. You just happen to be the person who got me knocked up.”

“‘Happened to be the guy who got you knocked up?’” Louis repeated incredulously, snorting. “Do you even hear yourself? We dated for five years and now I’m just the guy who knocked you up? Unbelievable!”

Harry winced at his sharp, loud tone, curling in on himself. “I don’t want to talk about our shit right now, Louis,” he said weakly. “Just… just please leave me alone right now…”

Louis picked up on his weak tone, and his face softened a little. “I didn’t know you were having panic attacks,” he said softly. 

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot you don’t know,” Harry answered shortly. “Just, please leave me alone. You can go play with Allie and Robbie. I just need to not be around you right now.”

Harry turned to walk back up the stairs again. “I’m sorry!” Blurted Louis loudly, causing him to stop in his tracks. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

Harry turned around slowly until he was facing Louis. The older man was standing at the bottom of the landing, looking up at Harry with wide, desperate eyes. 

“Sorry,” Harry said slowly, his voice wavering. “Isn’t enough. It’s gonna take a whole lot more than a sorry.”

“But it’s a start, right?” Louis said hastily. “I don’t want to fight you anymore, Harry. Please.”

Harry didn’t know what to say, but his voice was suddenly feeling quite choked up all over again. He swallowed thickly. “Go see the twins, Louis. They’re the ones you’re here for.”

With that, he spun around on his heel and walked up the stairs without waiting for a response from the other man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!!!!!! 
> 
> I’m going camping for a few days with my family, which means that I won’t be on the internet for a while. So I won’t be able to write, reply or update for a little while.
> 
> I’m so sorry, but I promise to have a new chapter for you all as soon as I can. And i am definitely NOT abandoning this.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for waiting patiently! I got back yesterday and spent the entire day writing this chapter for you guys. It’s shorter, but I hope you like it!!

Louis stayed for a while at the house. He was probably there for five hours, until he had to leave. Harry had spent half of that time hidden away in his bedroom, until he had decided that he couldn’t hide away any longer. 

Then he had gone downstairs and rummaged around in the kitchen. He had been too stressed to eat at all during the day, so he was now pretty hungry. So he grabbed a banana and ate that. 

Louis was still playing with the twins when he walked down. They had been at it for about three hours, and had at some point relocated to the living room. 

It looked like they were playing Barbies. They had the dolls all gathered in the middle of the room, their clothes and accessories displayed in front of them for the twins to dress the Barbies up. 

Harry was very relieved at the fact that Louis hadn’t commented on the fact that Robbie likes to play with Barbies, and actually looked quite at ease with the fact. He would even dress the dolls up with them, not a word commenting on the fact that they were ‘girls toys’ and that Robbie was using them. 

They all seemed quite content to be playing, and they continued for two more hours while Harry was downstairs. 

The twenty four year old just stood silently in the kitchen, sitting on the counter as he slowly ate his banana and watched them thoughtfully. The twins seemed really in their element and at ease, any past signs of shyness completely gone. 

Louis was also getting into the game. He was playing excitedly with them, smiling brightly and making overly exaggerated expressions. His face would always light up whenever he managed to make the two kids laugh (which was quite often,) and Harry didn’t know if he liked or disliked that. 

So he chose to just stay silent in the kitchen, watching them. None of them realized, of course, but it gave him a chance to look- actually  _ look-  _ at them together. 

Harry would be lying if he said he hadn’t ever imagined what Louis would be like with the twins. It was the main thought that kept him up at night. He had always played with the image in his head, running through scenarios where he’d meet them. 

Of course, he had never thought that it would happen the way it did. In his head he always just sorta imagined how they would be together. 

He’d imagine Louis teaching Robbie to ride a bike. He’d imagine Louis cheering loudly on the stands at Allie’s footie games. He’d imagine them going to the beach together. He’d imagine him taking care of them when they were sick. But he never imagined that this would happen. 

After Louis had been there for five hours, Harry could tell that the twins were getting tired. It was time for him to kick Louis out again. 

He hopped off the counter, tossing his banana peel into the small compost bin, before slowly heading into the living room where they were all playing. At first, they didn’t even notice he was there. 

Louis glanced up at Harry, his smile slowly falling from his face. He looked down at the twins again, seeing their tired faces, before sighing heavily. 

“I know, I know,” he said quietly, placing the blocks he had been using back onto the ground. “It’s time, isn’t it?”

Harry nodded silently. “It’s time for their naps,” he said stiffly, bending down to start cleaning the toys. “They’re too tired to play anymore.”

“No!” Allie pouted immediately, cradling the Barbies to her chest so that Harry couldn’t take them. “Not sleepy! No naptime!”

Harry closed his eyes tiredly, running a hand through his hair. “Allie-” he started patiently, only for the girl to interrupt him again. 

“No, daddy, no!” She exclaimed, shaking her head as she yelled. “We wanna play! Lou’s fun to play with! No naptime!”

Harry was too tired to fight with her. He was worn out by the panic attack and he was exhausted from all the strong emotions throughout the day. 

He rubbed his eyes, nearly groaning out loud. “Allie,  _ please  _ don’t argue with me today. I’m too tired for this,” he said heavily. 

But the four year olds didn’t seem to want to listen. Robbie, who was usually easy going, crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. “We’re not sleepy,” he huffed. “No naps.”

“Yeah, we wanna play with Lou,” Allie argued. “It’s fun to play with him. You never play with us anymore.”

Harry closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. “Allie, Robbie,” he said after a moment. “I’m not arguing with you about this. Go to your rooms right now or else you’ll be in big trouble.”

“NO!” Allie shouted, stomping her foot down in anger, her face turning red with a big frown. 

“Alison Tomlinson, do not shout at me,” he scolded, clenching his jaw as he stared down at the defiant girl. “Go to your room right now, you’re grounded.”

Thankfully, that seemed to do the trick. The girl’s face slowly turned angrier, and she stomped her small foot again. But she did grab her twin’s hand and start stomping over to the stairs. 

“FINE!” She yelled back, her loud voice echoing through the huge house. “You’re no fun, daddy! Lou’s more fun than you!”

And Robbie was quick to chime into his sister’s anger as well. He spun around, glaring at Harry. “You’re so mean, daddy! I wish Lou was our daddy instead!”

The two of them, thinking they were about to get into even more trouble, quickly scampered up the stairs. But Harry couldn’t have gotten them into more trouble if he wanted to. 

All the resolve that he had been trying to hold in suddenly burst out. He inhaled sharply as the two of them ran up and away from them. 

He defiantly bit down onto his lip, hard enough to both draw blood and stop the wobbling of his lip. He swallowed thickly, willing himself not to cry. 

‘ _ Louis is still here. Don’t you dare start crying now. Don’t. You. Dare,’  _ his mind said sharply to him. And Harry tried his very best to listen to the voice. 

Louis stood up from the ground, clearing his throat awkwardly. He was looking slightly downward, so that he wasn’t looking directly at Harry. “Well, uh, thanks for that. Really. It was great.”

Harry knew that Louis was expecting some sort of response, but he was too choke up to say anything. He knew that if he tried to say anything, any last piece of emotion that he was holding in would burst out and he would start crying. So instead he just nodded quickly. 

Louis continued. “It’s just that… I needed to meet them. You know, just to be around them even for a little while. I just wanted to meet them and get to know them a little. So thanks for letting me do this.”

Again, Harry nodded. He was still biting his lip tightly, and could taste blood filling his mouth. His eyes stung sharply with unshed tears, and his throat was tight. He was just praying that Louis wouldn’t notice until he could pull himself together. No such luck. 

Louis looked up, and his face immediately dropped. “Oh,  _ Harry,”  _ he breathed, taking a few small steps until he was next to the other man. 

‘ _ No. Go away. Leave me alone. Don’t let Louis see the tears. Don’t you dare start crying yet,’  _ his mind chanted. But he didn’t say that. He just shook his head from side to side, hoping Louis would take the hint and leave him alone. 

Louis reached out, his fingers barely grazing over Harry’s wrist. “No, don’t cry, Harry. They didn’t mean it. They didn’t mean any of it. They’re just kids who don’t know what they’re saying. Please don’t cry.”

“Yes they do,” Harry croaked. Much to his disappointment, his voice cracked at the end and the tears quickly welled in his eyes. “They do mean it. They hate me.”

Pain filled Louis’ eyes as he shook his head. “No, Harry. They don’t mean it. They don’t hate you- they love you. And you’re such a good dad. Kids just say things like that sometimes, they don’t really mean it,” he said, taking a small step closer. 

But Harry wouldn’t let himself believe it. He just shook his head all over again, swallowing thickly. “But they like you better than me, and they don’t even know you,” Harry whispered, a few tears escaping from his eyelids and sliding down his cheeks. 

Louis’ heart broke. And, without giving either of them time to think about it, grabbed Harry into a quick, tight hug. “They don’t like me better. They love you, they’re just angry. They don’t even know what they’re saying, and if they did, they wouldn’t have said those things. And I can tell that you’re such a good dad to them, Harry. They love you so much, I promise.”

Throughout all that the other man had been saying, Harry had unconsciously leaned into the hold. The warmth and the comfort were both things he needed right now, and he hadn’t cared where it was coming from. 

But they both seemed to realize what they were doing, and instantly broke apart again. Louis took a small step back and Harry wrapped his arms around himself protectively. 

Harry still didn’t trust himself to say anything yet, so he just nodded. He looked up towards the ceiling, sucking in a breath and trying to calm himself down again. The tears were still dripping down his face, but he had more control now. 

Louis faltered, his eyes wide with surprise at what he had just done. “Right, um,” he stammered, running a hand through his hair. “D’you want me to go now?”

‘ _ Yes. That’s the one thing I want. That’s all I’ve wanted since the band started back up again,’  _ his mind supplied. “Yes,” was all he said. 

Louis nodded. “Alright, I’ll go,” he said, swallowing again. “Oh, and, uh, your mum went out to the store or something. She told me to tell you.”

“Ok.”

“And, um,” Louis continued, looking at Harry earnestly. “I really did mean what I said. Thank you. So much. You didn’t have to do this, but you did. So thank you for letting me see them.”

Harry shrugged, squeezing his arms around himself tighter. “You deserved to see them,” he mumbled, turning his gaze down to the ground so that he wouldn’t have to look at Louis. 

“No I didn’t. I mean- I guess, sort of. But you didn’t need to let me stay in your house and stay for five hours.”

“Loads of split parents still let the other see the kids, even if they hate each other,” Harry mumbled quietly, shifting his weight onto the other foot. 

Louis seemed surprised at Harry using the word ‘parents’ to describe them, but he didn’t say anything about it. Instead, his face fell even more. “I don’t hate you, Harry,” he said softly. 

“Yeah you do,” Harry mumbled again, making sure to keep his head low. “You’ve been mean to me ever since the reunion meeting. Just admit that you hate me and stop fighting it.”

At that, Louis seemed to get even sadder. He reached his hand up, like he was gonna cup Harry’s face in it, but thought better of it and lowered his hand again. 

“I was a jackass,” he said, frowning at himself. “I had no right to talk to you that way at the meeting. And I certainly had to right to grab and yell at you that night. It was stupid and fucked and I’m  _ so  _ sorry. It was inexcusable and irrational. But I don’t hate you Harry. I promise that I don’t hate you.”

‘ _ Two promises in one afternoon,’  _ Harry mused to himself. Louis was a man of his word, so a promise was a big thing and he never went around making promises he didn’t mean. 

“You yelled,” he said so quietly that Louis had to strain his ears to hear. “You yelled at me and swore. You were so angry.”

“I know, and I don’t know what came over me. At first I thought- well, I don’t know what I thought. I guess I saw you with Allie and my mind instantly assumed that you had moved on and had your own kids. And then I saw Robbie and… shit, I don’t know. But I should never have acted like that and I would never hate you. If anything, you should hate me,” Louis said. 

He finished, and then looked up at Harry again, biting his bottom lip. “Do  _ you  _ hate  _ me,  _ Harry?”

‘ _ Yes,’  _ his mind supplied. 

“I don’t know,” Harry answered softly, shuffling his feet anxiously. “Yes? I did. I hated you for so long that I don’t know anything anymore.”

Louis nodded stiffly, audibly swallowing. “Ok,” he said, his voice strained. “Ok.”

“But I don’t want to fight you either,” Harry added quickly. “I just can’t fight anymore. I can’t  _ do  _ it.”

Louis’ face softened. “I don’t want to fight you either,” he said. “I’ve always hated fighting you, and I still do.”

“And we can’t do it anymore. Not if you’re going to see Allie and Robbie again.”

At that, the older man’s face changed. “I can see them again?” He asked, his expression brightening. 

Harry shrugged. “Yeah. They like you and I can’t hide it anymore, so I guess you can see them some more. If you want to,” he added hastily.

Louis nodded frantically. “Yeah, yeah. Of course I wanna see them again,” he said quickly. “I really want to see them again. I just didn’t know if you were gonna let me or anything…”

“Well, it’s too late for that,” Harry commented dryly. “They know you now and, as they already said, you’re more fun than me.”

“Harry, they didn’t mean it-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Harry interrupted, rolling his eyes. “I already got the lecture.”

Louis swallowed, snapping his mouth closed again and nodding. He dug his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet. “So…”

“Not to be rude of anything, but you saw them. You kinda did what you came here to do,” Harry said stiffly. 

Louis seemed surprised by his sudden tone, but nodded. “Yeah, I’ll get out of your hair,” he said, taking a few steps away. “But, again, thank you so much. It means a lot.”

Harry nodded again. He didn’t really know what to say. So he didn’t say anything at all. 

“I’ll go now,” Louis said, taking a few steps back so that he was still facing Harry. “Just… just take care of yourself too.”

‘ _ Like you care,’  _ he snorted internally. 

As if reading his mind, Louis straightened. “Really, Harry. Please take care of yourself too.”

“I will,” Harry said shortly, already done with the conversations and itching for Louis to just leave. 

But the twenty six year old just fixed him with a stare. “I mean it,” he said. “Are you okay?”

At that, Harry faltered. He lifted his head so that he was looking directly at Louis. The piercing blue eyes were looking right back at him, a mix of worry and pity reflecting back in them. 

“I don’t know.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for being so patient! I’ve found that I’ve been having a little bit of writer’s block, so it’s been harder to write the chapters. But, anyway, here you go!

The next night, Harry was having a little bit of a crisis. Allie and Robbie were fast asleep, tucked into their beds. As he said earlier in the day, they had been grounded and had gone to bed early as punishment. 

Harry hates punishing them, but he also knew that he had too. Even after a very tearful apology, they had still gotten in trouble and still needed to be taught a lesson. 

The words had stuck with him for the remainder of the day. Robbie telling him that he’d rather Louis be their father literally broke him on the inside. 

Harry had managed to hold it together for several hours. But as soon as they were both tucked into bed, he was ready to burst. He had sent a single text to Niall, telling him to come over. He needed someone if he was going to make it through the night. 

For the next ten minutes, Harry just sat on the ground in his kitchen, knees drawn into his chest and his head dropped low. His shoulders were shaking as he silently cried into his sweatpants. He was really trying to be quiet, but it was getting harder and harder with every passing second. It just hurt so much. 

The only sounds coming from the house were his heartbreaking gasps and sniffles every once in a while. He was biting down hard on his bottom lip so that he could feel the metallic taste of blood fill his mouth as he tried to muffle his cries.

Allie and Robbie were bound to hear him. They must be able to hear him. Even though they were asleep upstairs with their bedroom doors closed, they must hear him. He was being too loud. He had to stop before they would hear him. 

But he couldn’t stop. His heart was broken all over again. The twins hated him. His babies hated him. The two most precious people in his life hated him. And they now liked his ex boyfriend more than him. The same ex boyfriend that was the last person to break Harry’s heart. 

It was like a cycle. The most important people in his life turn around and break his heart. And Harry is left all alone on the kitchen floor, trying to pick up the pieces and silence his tears. One vicious cycle that kept repeating over and over again, in a loop that he couldn’t escape. 

  
  


He tried to breathe. He tried to calm down. He tried to be quiet. But he just couldn’t. He was too fragile from his panic attack earlier. He was hiccuping and sniffling and gasping, but he wouldn’t allow himself to sob yet. 

Harry heard the sound of his front door being opened, followed by the sound of it being slammed closed again. He heard Niall’s voice let out a small swear, before the sound of some quick footsteps jogging into the house. 

“Haz?” The Irishman called quietly into the house. “Harry? Where are you?”

Harry didn’t say anything, but he nearly broke at the sound of his friend’s voice. A small sob escaped from his lips before he could smother it. Only a second later, Niall’s footsteps came rushing towards him. 

He heard Niall rush into the kitchen. “ _ Shit _ ,” he muttered, his eyes falling on the smaller man in the corner of the room. In an instant, he was on his knees next to Harry. 

Niall was quick to gather Harry into his arms. He pulled the younger man into his lap, cradling his head closely into his chest and wrapping his arms firmly around his shaking shoulders. Harry buried his face into the shirt’s fabric, finally letting himself start to cry. 

“They hate me, Niall,” he sobbed, finally letting loose. Sobs were wracking his body and tears were steadily flowing from his eyes. “They hate me.”

Niall shushed him gently, rocking him back and forth. “No they don’t,” he assured him softly. “Nobody hates you, I promise. It’s alright, H.”

“They like him better,” Harry cried, his breath picking up as he sobbed even harder at those words. “T-they hate m-me! T-they like L-L-Louis better! They said so! T-they said t-that he’s m-more fun a-and that they w-wish that h-he was their d-dad!”   
  


Niall felt his heart break inside of his chest, as he hugged his best friend even closer to his chest. “No, babe, they don’t like him better. The twins love you so, so much,” he said soothingly. 

But Harry didn’t allow himself to believe the other man. “No,” he shook his head. “They hate me! They want Louis! They hate me!”

“No, Harry, no,” Niall murmured, pressing his cheek against Harry’s head. “I promise that they don’t. They love you so much. They don’t like Louis better- they don’t even know Louis. They love you, Harry, only you.”

“But I’m not good enough!” Cried Harry, sobs wracking his small, fragile frame. “I’m always away and I don’t spend enough time with them! I never play anymore! They hate me!”

“Harry, look at me,” Niall said firmly, grasping his chin in his hands and forcing the singer’s head up. Only then could he see the real heartbreak in Harry’s teary, green eyes. “You  _ are  _ good enough. And they  _ do  _ love you. Whatever they said earlier is complete bullshit. And you do everything everyday for them and you do everything in your power to give them a great life. You are a great dad, Harry. And they know that. Louis didn’t even know they existed until this week, and they certainly don't love him more.”

Harry’s eyes leaked out a few more stray tears. “But I’m always busy,” he argued. “I’m always away working and I can never spend time with them anymore.”

“You’re working. And you’re doing that for  _ them.  _ The reason you’re working is so that you can give them a better life,” Niall insisted earnestly, wiping away a few tears with the pad of his thumb. “You do everything for them, and not nearly enough for yourself.”

“But that’s because I have to,” the twenty four year old sniffled weakly. “I have to do everything for them. I’m their dad. I have to do everything.”

Niall’s frown deepened, and his own tears stung his eyes. He blinked them away quickly, willing himself not to cry. He couldn’t cry yet, not while he was helping Harry. But seeing his best friend hurting so much physically pained him. 

“You can have help, Harry,” Niall murmured softly. “You have your mum, and you have Gemma, and you have me. And even though you may not want them, you have the rest of the boys as well. We can help you too, Hazza. You don’t have to do everything all the time.”

“But I  _ do,”  _ insisted Harry, shaking a little. “I do have to do everything. I was the one who decided to keep them! I was the one who decided I could handle this! Everyone else warned me, but I was the one who decided to become a parent when I was nineteen!”

“And you’re doing a great job,” Niall cut in, rubbing his back to calm the man down. “You’re doing a great job. They’re happy and they’re healthy and they have great lives because of you. But everyone needs help sometimes, even you.”

“I should be able to do this,” Harry sniffled, falling against Niall’s chest again, leaning his whole weight against the man. “I should be able to do this. I shouldn’t need help.”

Niall pressed a firm kiss to his temples. “It’s okay to need help,” he murmured. “You don’t need to put all this stress on yourself, it’s not healthy.”

“I don’t care,” Harry snapped. “I don’t care if it’s healthy or not.”

“But  _ I  _ do,” pressed Niall desperately. “You can’t keep running yourself out like this. You need to sleep and you need to eat. Shit Harry, do you even realize how thin you are? And you have an attack almost every week. Please, Harry, just let people help you.”

“I’m so scared,” Harry admitted shakily. His voice was raw and hoarse from crying, and it was also shaky and verging on tears. “I’m so scared all the time. I’m too scared to sleep, to eat, to  _ stop.” _

Niall’s heart broke even more for his friend, and he hugged him closer (if that was even possible.) “I know, Hazza,” he murmured shakily, his own voice cracking a little. “I know. And I’m here. For anything.”

Harry just nodded silently, which prompted Niall to continue. “Do you need anything, Harry?” he asked. “Do you need me to do something now for you?”

“Just…” Harry said. “Just please… hold me?”

Niall squeezed him. “Of course.”

***

The two of them sat there for who knows how long. They stayed just as they were, sitting on the ground in the kitchen. Niall was sitting with his back against the wall, his arms wrapped tightly around Harry. 

Harry, for his part, was sitting on the other man’s lap with his face buried into his chest. He had nearly calmed down after a long time of sobbing, and his voice was now hoarse and scratchy. Occasionally, he would hiccup or sniffle, tear stains still fresh on his cheeks. But other than that, he had managed to calm himself down mostly. 

After what felt like an eternity, Niall shifted a little. He brought a hand up to stroke Harry’s short curls, running his fingers through them in a way that he knew calmed the younger man down. “Y’alright now, Hazza?” He asked softly, careful not to jostle the man. 

Harry nodded, but kept his head buried in Niall’s chest. “Better,” he answered, his voice cracking painfully, making them both wince. “Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Harry,” Niall assured him gently. “You have to stop thinking you're not worth other people’s time. You are.”

Harry just shrugged again, but dropped the subject. Instead he just sat up and reached his arms over his head, stretching his body out and causing his shit to ride up a little. When he was finished, he looked out the window. 

Harry’s eyes widened comically, and he jumped up and rushed over to the stove. “Shit,” he exclaimed, shocked as he looked at the time. “It’s nearly the morning! You’ve been here all night, Niall!”

Niall also looked a little surprised, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, wow,” he stated simply, unbothered. “I didn’t know it’s been that long.”

“But Niall, you’ve been here all night,” Harry argued quietly. “I didn’t mean to keep you up all night or anything. Crap, sorry.”

Niall stood up, walking over to Harry and placing a hand on his arm. “It’s really not a big deal. To be honest, I hadn’t realized the time either.”

“But still,” Harry argued softly. “I didn’t mean to keep you here for so long.”

“I honestly don’t care, Harry. I’d rather be here all night than leave you all alone. Seriously, it’s not a big deal. I’m not even tired out. And you being here alone on a night like last night was definitely not an option.”

At that, Harry scowled a little. “I’m not a child, Niall,” he huffed. “I don’t need a babysitter to look after me all the time.”

“You’re not a child, Haz,” Niall said, his tone completely unfazed. “You’re just someone that’s hurting. You’re a person who, like everyone else in the world, needs some help sometimes. And I’m not a babysitter, I’m a  _ friend _ .”

At that, Harry sighed heavily, curling in on himself again. “Shit, I’m sorry, Niall,” he said dejectedly. “You’re just… you’re just being a good friend and I’m being shitty to you. Sorry.”

“It’s a bad night, I get it. Everyone has them,” Niall said comfortingly, drawing the younger man into another hug. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Harry nodded, letting himself relax into his friend’s strong arms. He sighed heavily. “I just wish Louis didn’t have to be so…”

“Shitty? Horrible? Selfish?” Niall supplied. 

At that, the young singer cracked a smile. “I wish,” he answered. “I wish he would just be an ass about it. That would make everything so much easier for everyone. If he would just be an ass, then I would have an excuse.”

“But he was an ass about it,” Niall commented, furrowing his brow. “We were all there when he first saw the twins. He completely flipped out and started screaming. That’s an ass if I’ve ever seen one.”

“He was an ass that night,” Harry nodded, shrugging. “But he hasn’t been since then. He came over the other night to apologize, and didn’t even try to come inside. Then yesterday… he was  _ good.  _ He didn’t even ask to come over until I invited him, and then he was so wonderful with Allie and Robbie…”

Niall’s frown deepened. “You know you don’t have to defend him, right Haz?” He asked seriously, his tone steely. “He left you. He was the one that broke your heart, you don’t owe him anything.”

“I’m not defending him,” Harry insisted, pulling away from the hug. He looked Niall in the eyes so that the blond man could see the honesty in his eyes. “I swear I’m not defending him. I’m just saying that he was good. He was…”

Harry trailed off, biting his lip and then looked down at the ground. He wouldn’t allow himself to finish the sentence. But Niall just looked confused. “He was what?” He asked. 

“He was just like he used to be,” Harry finally finished heavily, whispering. “He was sweet and funny and playful and concerned. He gave me a hug, Niall, after I started crying. And I don’t even know. I should hate him- I  _ want  _ to hate him. And I keep replaying that night where he freaked out over and over again in my head, trying to convince myself that he’s the bad guy. But then I start thinking about how good he was with the twins and how gentle he was- and I just don’t know anymore.”

Harry wasn’t nearing hysteria anymore. He just seemed worn out and weary and very, very confused. “I don’t want to love him again, Niall,” he whispered. “I don’t want to let him back in, but I can’t help it.”

Niall was silent for a long moment. Harry felt like he had just spilt all his deepest feelings, and was now drained as ever. He didn’t have anything else to say, just staying relaxed against his friend. 

After what felt like forever, Niall finally spoke. “Harry,” he said slowly. “I can’t tell you what to do. This is all for you to decide, but I want you to promise me one thing.”

“What?” Harry asked, looking the serious man in the eyes. 

“I want you to promise me that you’re going to do what’s best for you,” Niall said. “Allie and Robbie will be fine, with or without Louis. I want you to do what you need to do. Not what you think you  _ should  _ do, but what you need to do. If that means cutting Louis out completely or letting him back in, choose what you need.”

Harry nodded, his eyes wide. “Would you be mad if I said I want Louis to be in it?” He asked meekly, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“No, Hazza,” Niall said softly. “I won’t ever be mad at you for this. But you do know that you don’t owe him anything, right?”

Harry nearly scoffed. “Of course.”

Niall flashed him a small smile. “Alright then,” he said. “You do what you want to do. And I’m going to be here whether or not.”

“Thanks, Niall,” Harry said, his eyes a little watery again. “I love you.”   
  
Niall pressed a firm kiss to Harry’s cheek. “I know. I love you too, Hazza.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry that it’s really short :( I’ll try to write a longer one next time.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... here we go again! I love reading your guys’ comments (especially when they’re funny ones :P) and I will reply if you send me one.
> 
> Quote of the day:  
> BaNaNaS fOr A eUrO!
> 
> Hope it inspires your throughout the week :)

Harry was having a very stressful day. He was on the verge of flipping out in anger, but had managed to contain himself up until now. 

He was pacing around his kitchen, phone pressed up against his ear, running his fingers through his curly hair. He was very stressed, as you could see from the wrinkles on his forehead. 

“What do you mean you can’t watch them, Gemma?!” Harry nearly shouted at the phone, angry and stressed. 

_ “I mean,”  _ Gemma said, her own voice sounding much more calm and cool from the other end of the phone. “ _ I literally can’t watch them today.” _

Harry sighed out in frustration, yanking on his hair. “And why not?!” He demanded. 

He felt a little bad about yelling at his sister, she definitely didn’t deserve it. But he was just really stressed right now and she wasn’t helping him. So he couldn’t really help himself from snapping at her. 

“ _ Like I already said, I’m busy today. Micheal, Drew and I are on our way to California for the day. Micheal has an important meeting this afternoon.” _

“So?” Interrupted Harry, agitated. “He has a meeting. You don’t. Just cancel your plans for going there and come back to watch the twins. It’s not that difficult.”

He heard his sister sigh from the other end. “ _ Harry, I’m not going to cancel my plans with my family today because you need a babysitter,”  _ she said, sounding a little annoyed. “ _ Isn’t there someone else? Isn’t mum still down there?” _

“No, mum isn’t down here anymore. If she was here, I wouldn’t be calling you!” the man snapped impatiently. 

_ “Harry, take a deep breath and stop yelling,”  _ Gemma instructed seriously. This caused Harry to roll his eyes at her. 

“I’m not yelling!” He shouted into the receiver. “I’m just- speaking with expression! And maybe I deserve to be yelling, because I need to go to Liam’s and I need a babysitter now!”

_ “Harry, yelling isn’t going to solve anything. I can’t come back now and I can’t watch Allie and Robbie this time, yelling isn’t going to find you a babysitter,”  _ she said cooly.  _ “So, like I said, calm down and stop yelling at me.” _

The man pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning against the island. He forced himself to suck in a few long, deep breaths to calm himself down. Gemma was right, yelling wasn’t going to solve his problems, and he was just working himself. 

“Okay, I’m good now,” he said after a few moments. “I’m sorry for yelling, Gem. It’s just… the boys are all meeting at Liam’s in an hour and I don’t have anyone to leave the twins yet, and it’s stressing me out. I’m not mad at you.”

Gemma sighed.  _ “It’s alright, H,”  _ she said softly. “ _ I get it, it’s hard. You didn’t mean to lash it all out on me, it’s alright.” _

“Thanks, Gem,” Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. “But I still don’t have anyone to watch the twins.”

_ “Well…”  _ Gemma thought. “ _ You said mum can’t watch them since she’s going back to London already. Who else? Oh, what about Celine or something? You know, the old woman who sometimes watches them.” _

“She can’t,” Harry muttered. “She broke her hip last week walking down the stairs and is in the hospital right now. Besides, I don’t think she’d even want to watch them again after what happened last time.”

_ “What happened last time?” _ __  
__  
“Robbie drank milk and then spent the entire night vomiting- but it doesn’t really matter now. The point is that she can’t watch them and neither can you or mum. I don’t have anyone else,” Harry replied heavily. 

Gemma hummed from the other end.  _ “Well, what about Niall?” _

“Gemma, were you even listening to me?” Harry snapped. “The boys are all meeting at Liams. ALL the boys, which includes Niall. He’s going to be at Liam’s with us, there’s no way he can watch them.”

_ “There’s no one else? You must have friends or neighbors or someone around there who can watch them.” _

Harry frowned. “No one I knew well. And, not to sound vain or anything, but I  _ am _ Harry Styles. There’s no one around that I would trust enough to leave Allie and Robbie with. And anyone I would trust is too far away or busy. There’s no one.”

_ “Lewis Capaldi? Nick Grimshaw? Lizzo? Ed Sheeran?”  _ Gemma said, listing off a few celebrities quickly. “ _ They’re your friends, Harry. What about them? I’m sure some of them wouldn’t mind watching the twins for a little while.” _

“Lewis is in Ireland and Lizzo is on tour,” The man said. “And I don’t even know where Lizzo is now. She might be on the other side of the country for all I know. Besides, I don’t even know if she knows about the twins.”

_ “Okay… what about Nick then?” _

Harry actually rolled his eyes and scoffed at that. “Please, Gemma. Do you know how much of a fit Louis would throw if he found out that I was leaving them alone with Nick? He would flip out.”

_ “So? It’s none of his business,”  _ Gemma answered, her tone sounding harder than before. “ _ He doesn’t get a say in who you get to babysit.” _

Harry just shrugged his shoulder, uncaring. “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “Still, I wouldn’t want Nick to babysit. He doesn’t seem to be very good with kids. Besides, he’s probably working today or something.”

Gemma didn’t say anything for a long time, but Harry could practically see the frown tugging at her lips. “ _ Well, I don’t really know what you can do then,”  _ she commented.  _ “Unless you take them with you.” _

Harry’s eyes grew wide. “What!?” He exclaimed, surprised. “I can’t take them with me, Gemma!”

_ “Why not? Liam’s son is going to be there with Liam’s boyfriend. It kinda works out if you bring them, since it will keep them and Bear busy,”  _ Gemms explained. 

But Harry just shook his head. “No,” he stated. “No. That is not an option. Absolutely not. No, no, no.”

_ “It would solve all your problems,”  _ his sister pointed out. “ _ You need someone to watch them, but you don’t have anyone. It makes sense to bring them, actually.” _

“I can’t,” the man said stubbornly. “This is a very delicate situation, Gemma. I can’t just bring them over. That would just be a disaster.”

_ “But why? They’ve already seen them. Liam and Niall are over at your house every few days. Plus, you did say that Louis has already been over to meet them. I don’t understand the problem.” _

“You don’t understand, Gem,” he sighed. “I just can’t bring him. I can’t.”

He heard Gemma sigh as well. “ _ Fine. Well, I’ve given you a solution,”  _ she said cooly. “ _ Now it’s up to you to decide what you want to do. I have to go now, Harry. Call me later and tell me what happened.” _

“Yeah, okay. Thanks Gem,” He murmured, as the line went dead again. 

Harry sighed to himself, running a hand over his face. This was all a mess. His life was just one big mess, everything jumbled together and confusing. He hated it. 

Part of him knew that his older sister was right, there was only really one thing he could do. There wasn’t anyone who could watch the twins, which meant that the only option was to bring them with him, no matter how much he didn’t want to. 

He didn’t really know why he was having such a hard time considering the idea of bringing them along. Louis had seen them not once, not twice- but three times already. Plus, Niall had literally been there for their birth and almost everyday since. Then there was Liam, who had been nothing but loving and supportive ever since finding out. 

He didn’t really know what Zayn was going to be like. He barely even knew Zayn anymore. He hadn’t talked to him since he left the band, and had probably said three words to him since the meeting. But Zayn wasn’t really the problem, was he?

_ ‘This is ridiculous,’  _ Harry thought to himself, shaking his head back and forth a little to shake the thoughts out.  _ ‘I shouldn’t be this worried about bringing my kids to my friend’s house. I have to stop being so stupid.’ _

_ ‘It’s not just your friend’s house,’  _ his mind supplied unhelpfully.  _ ‘It’s your ex-bandmates house, where you will be sitting with your ex-boyfriend, whose kids you happen to be bringing to that same house.’ _

Ugh. Why did everything in Harry’s life have to be so difficult. Ever since auditioning for X-Factor, he’s had to be so bloody careful about everything he did. He couldn’t even put his arm around his boyfriend without having Management cause a riot or something. And now he still had to stress about every single thing that he did. 

Finally, he came to a decision. “Allie, Robbie!” He called the kids in the playroom. “Come on, we’re gonna go on a little trip!”

Only a moment later, the soft padding sound of the twins came running into the kitchen. Allie and Robbie were still dressed in their pajamas, since it was still early, but looked excited. 

“We’re going on a trip?” Allie asked excitedly. “Where?”

“Remember Liam?” He asked. The two of them bobbed their heads up and down. “Well, we’re going to his house for a few hours. Daddy has to meet up with him and the other boys in the band.”

Robbie’s eyes lit up. “Uncle Liam?” He repeated, a smile gracing his cute face and causing a dimple to pop out. “Will Uncle Niall be there too?”

“Yep. Uncle Niall will be there too. He’s in the band, remember?” Harry said gently, his stress slowly seeping away. It was almost impossible to be angry when he was around the two four year olds. 

“Will Lou be there too?” Allie asked, cocking her head to the side. 

Harry forced a tight smile onto his face. “Yes, love. Lou will be there too,” he said tightly, swallowing thickly. “And so will Bear. He’s Uncle Liam’s little boy.”

“Uncle Liam has a little boy?” Robbie asked, chewing on his lip. Harry nodded gently, knowing how anxious Robbie could get around new people, especially when they were his own age. They intimidated him. 

“He does. His name is Bear and he is very nice,” he assured the small boy. “Bear is a little older than you two. He just turned eight.”

Allie’s eyes went wide. “Eight?” She repeated, shocked. “Wow, that  _ is _ old.”

Harry smiled at her, ruffling her hair a little. “It’s alright, he’s very sweet. You two are going to play with him while daddy has his meeting.”

They both nodded. “Okay daddy,” Robbie said, looking a mix of nervous and excited. It made Harry smile, and he bent down to scoop the small boy into his arms. 

“Don’t worry about it, baby,” he assured them, placing Robbie on his hip. “I’m going to be there the whole time. Plus Uncle Niall will be there too. And if you get too scared, we can all come back home.”

He nodded his head looking a little more relieved, which made Harry feel better. He hated that Robbie had inherited his insecurity and self-consciousness. Unlike Allie, who was loud and proud, he was constantly anxious. It was something he had to kick before school started. 

“Great,” Harry said, placing the boy back onto the ground. “Now, you two go get ready to go, ‘kay? I’ll be up in a second.”

“Oki doki, daddy!” Chirped Allie. Without another word, she grabbed her brother by the hand and started running towards the stairs, out of the kitchen. 

Once they were both gone, Harry pulled out his phone. He decided that it would probably be a good idea to ask Liam before he showed up unexpectedly with the twins. He quickly explained the situation, before asking if it was alright. 

Only a second later, his phone binged with a new message. Harry looked down to see that Liam had replied already. 

_ Of course it’s alright! Bear can’t wait to meet them ;) See you soon. _

***

Half an hour, all three of them were in Harry’s SUV, buckled in and ready to go. It had been a hassle, as it always was, to get everyone ready. But they were all ready and dressed and ready to go. 

“Alright, everyone buckled in?” Harry asked, glancing in the rear view mirror back at the two kids, who were both strapped securely in their bulky car seats. 

Allie flashed him a thumbs up, while Robbie started sucking on his thumb. “Ready!” She exclaimed happily. 

Harry smiled, starting the engine. “Alright, let’s go.”

“Wait!” Allie screeched. Harry might have gotten scared and accidentally swerved the car if he wasn’t so experienced with his daughter’s sudden screams. Instead he just took a deep breath and looked back at her. 

“Allie, no yelling when I’m driving,” he said sternly, raising his eyebrows at her. “It’s dangerous.”

The small girl looked sheepish. “Oopsies, sorry daddy,” she said, pouting her lips. “But you forgot the music. We can’t drive without the music!”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly. His kids liked music, probably more than anyone he had ever met. But it made sense, music was in their blood. It was part of who they were. 

“Okay, hang on a second, I’ll put the radio on,” Harry said. He pressed a few buttons on the console of the high-tech car. A few moments, later the radio was being turned on. 

For a second, Harry thought he could recognize the song. It was one that he had never heard before, but for some reason he felt like he had been listening to it his entire life. It wasn’t until the singer started that his eyes went wide. 

“ _ We were too young to know we had everything _

_ Too young, I wish I could’ve seen it all along _

_ I’m sorry that I hurt you darling, no, oh _

_ We were too young…” _

Harry felt breathless. He felt a little stunned, as he hadn’t expected to turn on the radio to Louis singing. Much less to Louis singing a  _ love  _ song. 

Louis’ voice had changed. It sounded more mature and more in control, but it sounded great. He had always sounded great, even when they were younger, but now it was just on a whole new level. 

It had been so unfair when Louis had been dubbed as the ‘bad singer’ of the group. It was stupid and not true at all. He was just as good a singer as all the other boys and it didn’t make sense to Harry why people would say that. 

Harry had always loved Louis’ voice. It had been the voice he had fallen in love with. The voice that was so different but so beautiful. And Harry had loved it everyday since he had first heard it. 

Harry used to fall asleep to that voice. Louis would run his fingers through his hair while he sang softly, and he would drift off to sleep. And if Harry was being honest with himself, he hadn’t been able to fall asleep for months without the voice. 

He would lay in his bed by himself, tears slowly dripping down his face as he held tightly onto his swollen stomach, unable to sleep. And then he would grab his phone and put on a few different recordings of Louis singing along, and listen to those until he fell asleep. 

He had stopped listening to Louis’ voice when the twins and along. It was now much easier to fall asleep, now that he was exhausted from having two newborns. He didn’t need the music to sleep. He didn’t even listen to Louis’ solo album when it first came out. 

So he was taken by surprise when the song first came on the radio. Almost on instinct, his hand moved to turn it off. 

“No!” Allie exclaimed when she saw what her father was doing. “Don’t turn it off! I like it.”

Harry took a deep breath keeping his eyes on the road. “Are you sure?” He asked meekly, desperation creeping into his voice. “I can put something else on. What about if we listen to Kelly Clarkson instead? She’s your favourite.”

“No, I like this one,” the girl insisted. “It’s pretty.”

Harry swallowed thickly. “Okay, love,” he said, shakily. “I’ll leave it on.”

Somehow, Harry didn’t really know how, he managed to drive the entire way to Liam’s house while listening to Louis’ song. Thankfully, it was only a ten minute drive to his former bandmate’s house. 

After Louis’ song, a different, lesser known song came on. It was one of those indie-rock songs that nobody really knew very well. Harry didn’t like it very much. It was fine though, because at least it wasn’t his ex-boyfriend. 

Soon, the car was rolling into Liam’s huge, long driveway. There were already four other cars parked there, which meant that Harry was the last one there. It wasn’t a surprise, he was usually last to arrive, especially if he had to bring two hyperactive four year olds. 

“Okay, here we are,” Harry said, hopping out of his seat and making his way over to the two kids in the back. “Now, before we go in, we have to talk about a few things.”

Robbie pouted as he was unbuckled. “‘Bout what?” He asked cutely. 

“Well, first of all, don’t run in once they open the door,” Harry said as he moved to unbuckle Allie from her seat. “You’re gonna hold my hand when we go, okay?”

Allie nodded. “Okay,” she said, hopping out of her seat. Harry was quick to grab onto her small hand before she could run ahead. 

“One more thing,” Harry reminded them. “We’re guests here, which means that you have to be respectful. No yelling or breaking anything. And be nice.”

“We will, daddy,” chirped Robbie, skipping along with his small hand inside of Harry’s larger one. 

Harry nodded, satisfied that they were now going to behave. So he held one of their hands in either one of his hands, before walking towards the door. Once he got there, he briefly let go of Robbie’s hand to knock on the door. 

“Remember,” he whispered to them. “Be nice. Maybe we can go get ice cream after if you’re good.”

“We will,” Allie said, her eyes lighting up at the mention of ice cream. It was her weakness. 

Harry nodded again, squeezing their hands lightly. He heard a muffled ‘come in!’ From inside the house. He reached up and pushed open the door. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS JULY 23! ITS JULY 23! ITS JULY 23!
> 
> HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVERYONE!!!!
> 
> I literally can’t put into words how proud I am of these five boys. I’ve been with them since the X factor days, and I love them all so much. They deserve everything in the world, and I can’t wait for everyone they have planned for their lives. Even if there isn’t a reunion announced today, these boys mean so much to me and I will always love them.

“Harry!” Exclaimed Liam, who had been on his way towards the door. He looked happy, a big smile on his face and his eyes shining. “You made it!”

“‘Course I made it,” Harry answered, walking forward and accepting his friend’s hug, but kept his hands around the two kids. 

Liam then noticed the twins, and flashed them both smiles. “Hello!” He said cheerfully to them. 

“Hi, uncle Liam!” Chirped Allie excitedly, jumping up and down on spot a little. Robbie just gave him a small wave. 

“Everyone’s in there,” Liam said to Harry, motioning towards the living room around the corner. “I can go get Bear now. I think Ollie has him upstairs.”

His house was big, clearly. It wasn’t quite as big as Harry’s, but it was still quite big and nice. It had a bunch of nice things inside, that Harry appreciated. 

“Great,” Harry said, giving his friend a smile. He then tugged a little at Allie and Robbie’s hands, leading them towards the living room. “Come on.”

The three of them headed towards the living room. Everyone was clearly already there. Louis and Zayn were on the love seat together, while Niall was on the main couch. They all looked up when Harry walked in. 

“Uncle Niall!” The twins exclaimed, breaking free of Harry’s hold in order to launch themselves into the blond man’s arms. 

Niall looked a little surprised, but managed to catch the two four year olds as they crashed into his chest. “Hey, lovelies!” He exclaimed, pulling them into a big hug. “I didn’t know you two were coming!”

He looked up at Harry, who just shrugged. “I didn’t have a sitter,” he explained simply. “They’re gonna play with Bear.”

“Ah,” Niall said nodding his head in understanding. “Well, at least they’ll get a chance to meet Bear. He’s a sweetie.”

It was then that the twins looked over to the love seat. “Lou!” Squealed Robbie, hopping off of Niall. In an instant, they were hurling themselves in Louis’ direction. 

Louis’ eyes widened for a split second, before he had his arms full of the two four year olds. “Oof,” he grunted when they both jumped on him. “Hey guys!”

Allie scrunched her nose and giggled. “You’re silly, Lou!” She squeaked. “I’m not a guy! I’m a girl!”

“Oh, whoops!” Louis said brightly. “You’re obviously not some smelly boy! You’re a princess, aren’t you?”

Allie nodded proudly, her curls bouncing up and down. “Yep!” She said proudly. “Daddy says I’m a princess!”

“Well if daddy says so, then it must be true,” Louis commented, casting his eyes sideways at Harry. Harry chose to ignore that. 

Robbie tapped Louis shyly on the arm. “Um, Lou?” He asked shyly. “Am I a princess too?”

Harry looked up at that, staring at Louis, daring him to say something wrong. But to his credit, Louis barely blinked. “Of course you are,” he said softly. 

“Boys can’t be princesses,” Allie said, frowning a little as she studied her brother. 

Niall was quick to jump in. “Of course they can!” He exclaimed, making his way over to Harry. “Just look at your daddy! He’s our little princess!” The blond boy pinched Harry’s cheeks playfully. 

“Stop,” whined Harry, swatting his hands away, but a small blush appearing on his face. 

Not that he was going to admit it, but Louis used to call him ‘Princess’ all the time when they were together. And all the boys could clearly remember it as well from the way they were glancing at him. 

Thankfully, Allie decided to change the subject. “Are you gonna play with us again, Lou?” She asked cutely. 

Louis smiled at her, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “Not today, love. You’re gonna play with Liam’s son,” he explained gently. 

“Oh,” Robbie said, a frown appearing on his face. “So you’re gonna stay here?”

Louis nodded. “Yep. I’m gonna stay here with uncle Niall and your daddy.”

“You’re gonna play with daddy?” Robbie asked, cocking his head to the side innocently. 

It wasn’t supposed to, obviously, but it sounded quite dirty. Even coming from the four year old’s mouth. So much so that Harry tensed up and the rest of them looked suddenly uncomfortable. 

Louis, though utterly shocked, shook his head and swallowed thickly. “No. We’re, uh, we’re  _ all  _ going to, um, talk. No playing. Just talking,” he stammered. 

“Oh,” Allie said with a thoughtful expression. “That sounds boring. We’re gonna play, ‘cause that’s fun.”

“Sounds like more fun,” mumbled Zayn, watching the twins carefully. He hadn’t made a move to interact with them, which made Harry frown a little. 

“Alright, loves,” Harry said, stepping in. “You can talk to everyone more later. Time to go find Bear and play with him.”

The twins both nodded. “Oki doki!” Chirped Allie happily, hopping off Louis’ lap easily and dragging her brother with her. 

They skipped over to Harry, who knelt down beside them and grabbed them before they could make a run for it. 

“Hang on,” he said, stopping them. He then pointed at Zayn. “Did you say hi to Zayn yet?”

They both turned around, their demeanour suddenly changing as they looked at him. 

“Oh,” Robbie mumbled, shifting a little as he suddenly turned shy again. “Hi.”

Zayn shot him a small, forced smile. “Hello,” he said simply to them. 

Allie’s eyes narrowed as she looked the man up and down suspiciously. “Who are you?” She asked bluntly. 

“Allie, be nice,” Harry scolded her lightly, tapping her on the arm. “That’s Zayn. Remember, he was in the band.”

“Oh,” the girl said, her demeanour remaining the same. “So, is he our uncle or something?”

Harry saw Zayn look at him in confusion, but he purposely ignored him. “No, love,” he said cooly. “No he isn’t. He’s just Zayn.”

“What are you-?” Zayn started, his brows knitted together in the middle of his forehead. 

Thankfully, Liam decided at that moment to come in with Bear. The boy was standing next to his father, looking a little nervous and shy. 

Bear didn’t look much like Liam. He had dark, nearly black, hair that was straight on his head. His eyes were wide and puppy-like, like Liam’s, but they were blue instead of brown. He probably looked more like Ollie, his other father. 

“Here we are,” announced Liam, giving his boy a small push on his back to make him walk into the room. “Allie, Robbie, this is Bear. Bear, can you say hi?”

Bear pouted a little, eyeing the twins up and down. “Hi,” he mumbled quietly, looking down at his feet. 

“Hi,” Robbie answered back, equally as shy as he practically hid behind Harry’s body. 

Allie, meanwhile, stepped outwards. “Hi, my name's Allie,” she said, introducing herself like Harry taught her to. “That’s Robbie. We’re twins.”

“Twins?” Bear repeated, scrunching his nose up a little in confusion. “What’s that mean?”

“It means that he’s my brother. We’re the same age. And that’s our daddy,” Allie explained, puffing her chest out proudly. 

Bear looked at Allie for a long moment, before looking at Harry, and then finally looking at Robbie. His gaze lingered there for a long time. “That’s not his daddy,” he argued. 

Allie frowned. “Yes he is,” she stated. 

“No he’s not. Robbie doesn’t even look like your daddy. Look, his hair and his eyes are all different,” he said, pointing at the small boy. 

All the adults in the room seemed to freeze. It was obvious to everyone that Robbie looked nothing like Harry. The boy was a splitting image of Louis. But none of them had mentioned it. And now that Bear was saying it, they hardly knew what to do. 

“You don’t look like your daddy!” Allie defended, pointing at Liam as proof. “Your hair and your eyes are different too!”

“That’s because I look like my papa,” Bear said confidently. 

This time, it was Allie that scrunched her nose. “What’s a ‘papa?’” She asked.

“Duh. It’s my other dad,” Bear said, as it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I got two dads- my daddy and my papa.”

Allie’s frown deepened. “I only have one daddy,” she stayed, turning to look at Harry thoughtfully. 

“Do you have a mommy?” Bear asked. 

At that, the girl shook her head. “No,” she said. “My daddy said that I won’t have a mommy. ‘Cause he likes other boys.”

“Ok, time to go play!” Harry said suddenly, interrupting the conversation. He didn’t like the direction the conversation was going in, and didn’t really want it to go any further. 

Liam cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “Yeah. Bear, why don’t you take Allie and Robbie up to your room?”

“Okay, daddy,” Bear nodded his head obediently. “But, what are we gonna do?”

“I don’t know, play or something,” Liam said, shooing his boy out of the room. “If you need anything, papa is upstairs.”

Again, the seven year old nodded. “Okay. Come on, Allie and Robbie. Let’s go to my room.”

Allie still had a frown on her face, and Harry had to give her a small nudge. “Go on,” he urged her. “Go play with Bear.”

That made her give in. “Okay,” she said softly, reaching out to grab her brother’s hand. “Come on, Robbie. We’re gonna go play.”

Robbie shook his head, his face buried into Harry’s shoulder. The twenty four year old sighed tiredly. He grabbed the boy, forcing him to look at him. 

“Robbie, please go play with Allie and Bear,” he said, tiredly. “I’ll be here the whole time if you want to come back later.”

The small boy still looked nervous, but he finally gave in. Allie was dragging him away by the hand, towards Bear. “Okay, bye daddy,” he said, waving a little. 

“Bye bye. See you soon,” Harry said, giving them a wave back. As soon as they left, he flopped onto the couch next to Niall, sighing heavily.

The blond man reached a hand over, massaging his scalp comfortingly. “Long day?” He asked sympathetically. 

Harry nodded, humming as he let his eyes droop closed. “Didn’t sleep,” he mumbled tiredly. “And Allie had a tantrum this morning.”

Niall grimaced. “Want me to come over later? I can watch them and you can sleep or something?” He offered. 

“No thanks. I won’t be able to sleep anyway,” the smaller said. “Don’t want to waste your time.”

“You wouldn’t be wasting my time, but I won’t come if you don’t want me to,” Niall said softly. “Did you at least eat something today?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “What are you, my mum?” He asked sarcastically. 

“No. I’m just your friend who happens to be concerned about you,” Niall said, unfazed. “And it doesn’t matter, because I already know the answer. You have to eat Harry, you’re not too busy to eat enough to avoid starving.”

“I’ll have something later, alright?” Snapped Harry, tired and not wanting to argue with the other man. 

Niall raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, that won’t work on me. You and I both know that you won’t have something later,” he said sternly. “You’re having something now. Liam?”

Liam, who had been listening to the whole conversation, nodded his head. “Yeah, I’ll go see what we have,” he said, already standing up to hurry out of the room. 

Zayn and Louis were also studying Harry carefully, frowns on their faces. “What do you mean you haven’t eaten?” Zayn asked. “You’re not starving yourself or some shit like that, are you?”

“No!” Exclaimed Harry, looking at him incredulously. “I’m not starving myself! I’m just busy.”

“You’re not too busy to eat,” Niall said with a frown. “You’re literally so thin and it’s not healthy. So shut up and eat whatever Liam’s gonna bring you. No complaining or bitching.”

Harry rolled his eyes, slumping against the cushions with a pout. “You don’t need to baby me,” he grumbled. None of them chose to respond to him. 

A few minutes later, Liam came in with a big tray of food. It was clearly enough for all of them to share, but he placed it right in front of Harry alone. That caused the younger man to roll his eyes again. Everyone was still looking at him, so he gingerly picked up a celery stick and bit into it. 

“So…” Liam said, cutting through the thick silence. “Last time we did this it didn’t go so well…”

Harry and Louis both snorted. 

“And I think we should take up where we left off,” finished Liam lamely, looking at all of them. 

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Take up where we left off last time?” He repeated. “You mean before or after you found out about the twins?”

“After,” Zayn said stiffly, his jaw setting in place as he stared at the man. He looked intense as always. “You have quite a bit of explaining to do.”

“And so do you!” Harry yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You left us! You left and didn’t even give us an explanation. I don’t owe  _ you  _ anything!”

Zayn glowered, his eyes narrowing. “I left a band, I didn’t keep secret babies away from my boyfriend,” he spat. “At least I’m not a slut.”

“Hey!” Louis shouted, slapping Zayn on the back of his head, his eyes shooting daggers at him. “Don’t call him that! There are kids here and I don’t want anyone overhearing you say things like that!”

The dark haired man huffed. “You didn’t even know about them until last week! Don’t you think we deserve an explanation!”

“I got an explanation,” Louis snapped back, narrowing his eyes. “And I did it without slut-shaming. So shut the hell up.”

And even though Louis was the last person Harry’s expected to defend him, he was thankful. The last thing he needed was for Allie and Robbie to come in and overhear. 

“Still,” Zayn argued, but with less venom than before. “The rest of us deserve an explanation.”

“Why the hell would you deserve an explanation?” Niall snapped, his body tense. “Everyone who needs to know already knows. And you were the one who left- Harry doesn’t owe you anything.”

“I left so therefore I don’t deserve an explanation?!” Zayn yelled, angry. “I’m Louis’ best mate and I deserve answers!”

Again, Louis hit the man on the arm. “Zayn, shut the fuck up!” He hissed, his eyes flashing. “I already got answers. Don’t you think I would’ve told you if you ‘deserved it?!’”

“Hey! Everyone calm down!” Liam exclaimed in a much quieter voice. His face was angry. “This wasn’t the point of meeting! We’re here to talk, not scream at each other. And Allie and Robbie are right upstairs! I know everyone is upset, but stop yelling before they hear something they shouldn’t!”

At that, everyone shut up. Zayn was still glaring at Harry, who was glaring right back at him. Louis was sitting stoically in his seat, while Niall staring intently at Harry. Liam was just sitting in his own seat, looking angry at them. 

“Now, we’re here to talk like adults. Not scream like we’re still children,” he said sternly. “And if we can’t do that, then I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Niall just glared. “Fine,” he said. “But don’t expect me to sit here all nice and pretty if you guys are gonna have a go at my best mate and my godchildren.”

“It’s fine, Niall,” Harry mumbled, fiddling with the hem of his shirt with nervous fingers. “We knew this was coming. And I feel like I need to answer some stuff.”

Zayn raised his eyebrows challengingly at Niall. “See?” He said. “We deserve some answers.”

“Stop saying it like I owe you something,” Harry snapped suddenly, his eyes burning at the older man. “I don’t owe you anything. I’m doing this because I want to and I feel like I should. This isn’t for you, Zayn.”

“Who’s it for? Louis?” Zayn sneered. “Don’t even pretend that it is. You’re just a selfish slut who was too ashamed to tell his fucking boyfriend he got knocked up.”

Harry’s jaw fell open in shock, his eyes wide. He was completely stunned by those words. That was when all hell seemed to break loose. 

Niall jumped up from the love seat, making a lunge towards Zayn, an enraged expression on his face. Liam also jumped up to try and restrain the blond man. The plate of food went clattering to the ground. 

“STOP IT! STOP IT!” Liam shouted, prying the Irish man away from Zayn, who looked shocked and a little scared. He probably hadn’t expected the usually carefree man to snap so easily. 

Harry blinked his eyes a few times. The air was thin. He couldn’t breathe. Everything was too close. He couldn’t breathe. His eyes watered as he tried to suck a breath in through his nose, to no avail. 

“How  _ dare  _ you!” Niall yelled, still straining against Liam’s strong grip in an effort to attack Zayn. “HOW DARE YOU!”

Zayn looked scared, but he managed to narrow his eyes. “Don’t even pretend that it isn’t true!” He shouted back, his hands clenched into fists. 

It was too much. Harry could feel his chest heaving with shallow breaths. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He wasn’t supposed to freak out now. He couldn’t do it now- not with everyone gathered around him. He couldn’t lose it now. 

“Get out, Zayn!” Snapped Liam, his eyes flashing at the dark haired man. “You don’t get to come into my house and speak to _my_ friend like that! Get out!”

“GET THE HELL OUT!” Niall bellowed when Zayn didn’t move for a second. “LEAVE!”

“It’s the truth!” Zayn yelled back, equally as angry. “Louis might not be angry, but I am! He doesn’t get to keep them a secret and then pretend it’s okay! Newsflash, Harry- it’s not okay!”

“Don’t talk to him! Don’t you dare talk to him!” The blond man yelled right back, his eyes flashing. “You don’t get to speak to him!”

Harry couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. His hands were shaking in an effort to suck a breath into his burning lungs, but he couldn’t. Tears stung his eyes from the effort. He squeezed them shut and tried to get control over himself. 

‘ _ Allie and Robbie are upstairs,’  _ his mind said to him. ‘ _ They’re upstairs. They can come down at any second. They can’t see this. They can’t see any of this.’ _

“Why?! Because you can’t handle the truth!” Zayn yelled back. “He lied! He lied about EVERYTHING!”

“Get out Zayn!” Liam nearly screamed, his strong arms straining as he tried to contain the blond man. “Get out!”

‘ _ Stop stop stop stop stop,’  _ Harry’s mind chanted. His eyes were squeezed shut and he couldn’t breathe. The panic was starting to set in. 

“FINE!” Zayn bellowed, standing up and stomping down the hall. He pointed a finger right at Harry, his eyes flashing. “But this isn’t over!”

“Shit Harry,” breathed Louis, his eyes landing on the younger man. He was clearly in the middle of having a panic attack. His fists were clenched and shaking and his chest was heaving shallowly. 

Everyone stopped for a moment as they looked at the pop star, and their eyes widened. In an instant, Niall was ripping himself out of Liam’s grip and was dropping to his knees in front of him. 

He grabbed Harry’s face between his hands. “Hey hey, look at me, Hazza,” he murmured, rubbing the pads of his thumbs against Harry’s cheekbones. 

“Can’t… breathe…” Harry gasped, a few tears escaping his closed eyelids. His lungs were burning and he felt like he was dying. “Can’t… can’t…”

Zayn, who was halfway to the door, looked frozen. “What’s going on?” He asked, his voice sounding a little panicked. “What happened?”

“What happened is that you caused him to have a panic attack,” snapped Niall angrily, as he cupped his friend’s face. “ _ Breathe,  _ Harry. Come on, just breathe.”

Harry shook his head vigorously. “Can’t… can’t breathe!” He gasped, clutching at his chest with his hands. “Hurts! Can’t breathe!”

Niall swore loudly. “He’s too far gone,” he stated tightly. “Where’s his inhaler? Someone go find it.”

“Didn’t… don’t…” Harry gasped, his eyes wide and begging. 

Liam’s eyes went wide. “Shit, he’s trying to say that he didn’t bring it,” he said sharply. “He doesn’t have it here with him.”

Niall swore again. “Harry, why didn’t you bring your inhaler?!” He snapped. 

But Harry couldn’t respond anymore. He just shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut again. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t talk. 

“Shit, you guys are stressing him out,” Louis snapped. Before anyone could do anything, he was shoving Niall out of the way and dropping in front of the man. 

His blue eyes stared right into Harry’s intently as he brought a hand up to rest it on the man’s knee. “C’mon Hazza, breathe for me please,” he cooed softly. 

Harry was too far gone to even know who it was talking to him. Stars were dancing in front of his eyes and he couldn’t even feel the tears drop down his face. But he tried to suck in a breath, but failed miserably. 

“Good try, love,” Louis said gently, taking his other hand and placing it on Harry’s chest. “Now, I want you to try and lift my hand. We’re gonna count to ten and I want you to try and move my hand upwards. Do you think you can do that?”

No. Harry couldn’t do that. But the voice was so soft and gentle that he knew that he had to at least try. So when the voice started counting, he tried to suck in a sharp inhale. 

As Louis’ hand slowly started raising, he nodded encouragingly. “Fix, six, seven,” he counted slowly and evenly. “You’re doing so good, Hazza.”

“Can’t do it,” he gasped, his breath hitching again. “I can’t- I can’t do it. I can’t breathe-”

“Yes you can, Harry,” Louis said gently. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s almost over. Inhale, exhale- just like that.”

Harry nodded and sucked in another breath. Then another one. Then another one. He was finally coming down from his panicked high, his emotions now starting to return to normal again. 

After what felt like an eternity, he opened his eyes. They instantly locked on Louis’, who still had his hands on Harry’s body. 

As soon as he realized that Harry was back to normal, he snatched his hands away again. Harry just looked horrified. His jaw was slack and he was staring at the other man with wide eyes, panicked eyes. 

Louis seemed to realize that Harry was back, and he swallowed. “Harry…” he said softly. 

Harry was sprinting out of the room before anyone could get in another word.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 23 was probably the most disappointing day of my life. I can’t even tell you all how much I cried. I don’t wanna talk about it.

Harry ran out of the room. He assumed everyone was too stunned, since nobody chased after him or even called his name for that matter. It gave him the perfect chance to make a run for it. 

The twenty four year old tore out of the room and just ran. He wasn’t exactly paying attention to where he was going, because frankly he didn’t care. He just needed to get away. 

He had been so close-  _ so close-  _ to Louis. They had been touching. And it was just too much for him to handle at the moment. The thought of what just happened pounding against his brain. 

He had had a panic attack. In front of all his ex-best friends and bandmates. In front of his ex-soulmate. And he had needed _Louis_ of all people to help him through it. It was just too much. 

Harry was panting when he finally ran into the kitchen. He wasn’t out of shape at all, but he had just come out of an attack and was breathless. And he was tired. 

He grabbed a kitchen stool and slumped into it, allowing his eyes to briefly close. His brain was drained, but he tried to run over what had just happened in his mind anyway. 

_ Why had Louis bothered to help him? Why was Zayn such a dick? Why did he even need someone to help him out of it? Why had he had a panic attack in the first place? Why was he even here? What was the point of all of this? _

Those were the questions that were running around in his head. And he didn’t know any of the answers, which only caused him to have a headache. 

Harry pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, so tightly that he saw black dots dancing in his vision. He groaned loudly. 

“Why me?” He groaned, which had been the one thing he had been asking himself for years. Why did it have to be him? Ten years later and he still didn’t know.

Harry heard footsteps walking into the kitchen, but he didn’t bother lifting his head. He was just hoping and praying that it wasn’t Louis or Nial or Zayn. He might survive if it was Liam, but honestly he didn’t even want to see him. 

The footsteps walked into the kitchen and then over to the fridge. He still didn’t lift his head to look, but he could hear the person filling a glass of water. 

It was only when he heard the sound of someone sitting beside him that he finally opened his eyes. His vision was a little blurred from his hands, but he could make out the form of a tall, dark man sitting beside him. 

It wasn’t Zayn, which he was endlessly grateful for, but it wasn’t the other boys either. This man was taller and broader, with thick black hair and pale blue eyes. He knew after a moment that it must be Ollie. 

For a long time, neither of them said anything. Ollie didn’t even look Harry’s way, he just sat, drumming his fingers against the countertop. And Harry just watched him silently. 

Upon closer inspection, Ollie was definitely Liam’s type. Liam was strong and muscular, but not quite nearly as strong as Ollie looked. The man looked like he would be able to pick Harry up with one arm and throw him across the room. He was also tall, with broad shoulders. He was probably 6’3 or something, which was quite tall. 

But even though he kinda looked intimidating, he also looked like the quiet, broody type of guy. Like he did meditation in his room every night or something. Not like he would throw someone across the room with one arm. Harry wouldn’t be surprised if he read poetry. 

The drumming stopped, and Ollie reached over. Harry soon realized that he was reaching for a glass of water that was placed on the counter. Silently, Ollie slid the cup over towards Harry. 

He also passed Harry a small, red pill. The man raised an eyebrow at it. Sure, he was kinda out of it and he kinda knew Ollie, but he wasn’t about to swallow a random pill from someone he never met. He wasn’t that stupid. 

Ollie seemed to read his thoughts. “It’s Tylenol,” he explained simply, his voice quite deep. “Good for after a panic attack.”

Well, Harry didn’t need anymore prompting. Wordlessly, he snatched the pill off the counter and dry-swallowed it, no water needed. He then sighed after doing so. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, feeling like he should say something to the other man. He then grabbed the water and took a long drink out of it, trying to calm himself down. 

Ollie shrugged, nonchalantly. “It’s no problem,” he said. “I always like to take a painkiller after a panic attack. Dulls the aftershock, you know?”

He said it so casually that Harry was a little caught off guard. He could easily use the same tone to talk about the weather rather than a panic attack. It was a little unnerving. “You’ve had them before?” Harry asked bluntly. 

The man shrugged, before nodding. “Yeah,” he said. “I used to have them when I was younger. I had terrible anxiety and went on meds for it for a little while. I stopped having them a little while after meeting Liam, but there was a time where I’d have one every week.”

Harry nodded. He usually had them once every week, or two weeks if it was a good month. “It sucks,” he stated, taking another gulp of water. “Do you know what’s going on in there?” He asked anxiously. 

“Zayn left,” Ollie stated. “The other boys made him leave. I think Louis might have gone out to talk to him, but I don’t know. Niall sounds like he’s throwing a fit, and Li’s trying to calm him down. They’re a mess.”

The curly man snorted. “We’re  _ all  _ a mess,” he corrected. “I’m probably the most messed up of all of us. None of this would be happening if it weren’t for me being so screwed up.”

Ollie just hummed. “I’m not going to pretend I know everything- or anything for that matter,” he said after a moment. “But what I do have to say is that all those men in there are messed up- it’s not just you. And I’m pretty sure you aren’t the only one who’s screwed up out of everyone.”

“Oh, please,” Harry rolled his eyes. “Not to be rude, because you seem really nice and stuff, but I don’t think you have everything right there. I’m the one who ruined everything between the band.”

“Zayn left the band, which was one thing that went wrong that wasn’t your fault,” Ollie stated. “Your Management is shit, which isn’t your fault. Not every downfall is because of you.”

“Management was shit because of me,” Harry argued. 

“So now it’s your fault that you fell in love?” The man pressed. 

“It’s my fault I acted on it,” Harry snapped harshly. He then sighed heavily, leaning onto his arms and burying his face in his hands. “And I had the twins and didn’t tell anyone. Maybe I didn’t cause all the problems, but I definitely caused all the big ones.”

Ollie didn’t say anything for a long time, causing Harry to look up at him with big eyes. “Oh shit, I didn’t mean to just lay all that on you,” he said hastily. “Sorry, none of this is anything you should be worried about.”

Ollie just shrugged. He seemed to be a man of very few words, as he didn’t make a move to say anything. Instead, he just stood up and motioned for Harry to do the same. “Come with me.”

Harry just looked up in confusion. “What?” He asked skeptically, slowly sliding off of the seat. “Why? Where are we going?”

Ollie didn’t say anything, but he started walking towards the staircase. Harry was very confused, and he didn’t exactly know whether to follow the other man or not. But he didn’t exactly have any reason not to trust him, so he just shrugged to himself and started following. 

They headed up the stairs. They then walked along the upper hallway, which gave Harry a chance to look around the house. It was just as nice upstairs- not Harry’s style- but it was nice. There were several expensive-looking paintings along the hallway that made it look very nice. 

The two of them walked down the hallway in silence, Harry wondering all the while where they were heading. They walked down, before Ollie came to an abrupt stop in front of a bedroom. 

He put a finger to his lips, signalling for Harry to be quiet, as he slowly turned the door handle and pushed open the door. Harry nodded as he slowly peered into the bedroom. 

It was obviously Bear’s bedroom. It was decorated in a fashion that it could only be the seven year old’s room. It was big and colourful, the light seeping in from the big window on the wall. There were bunk beds and a few toys scattered on the ground. 

There were also three small voices coming from the inside. Harry looked even further into the room to see that it was Bear, Allie and Robbie sitting on the floor, playing quietly together. It made him smile as he tuned in closer to hear what they were saying. 

“What about the train?” Robbie asked quietly. “Can a train go to school?”

“Of course!” Bear exclaimed. “The trains and the cars go over there, see! And then the dollies can go here by the beds!”

“I wanna be a teacher!” Allie exclaimed, jumping to her feet and running over to where the two boys were sitting. “Can I be a teacher for the dollies?”

“Me too!” Robbie piped up. 

Bear nodded his head. “Ok. Allie can teach the dollies, Robbie can teach the little bears and I can teach the trains and the cars! Then everyone can be a teacher,” he instructed. 

“What about the prin- the princip-” Robbie asked, tripping over his words. He frowned in frustration as he tried to pronounce the word. “The- the-”

“The principal?” Bear asked helpfully. The small boy’s face lit up and he nodded his head up and down happily. “Well, my papa is coming back soon. Maybe he can be the principal! We can ask him!”

“That’s my cue,” Ollie whispered, quietly so that only Harry could hear him. “I’m gonna go in there with them. You can come play too if you want.”

Harry swallowed. “I’m gonna-” he stammered, swallowing thickly. “I think I’m just gonna, you know, watch for a little bit…”

Ollie nodded in understanding. “Alright then,” he said. “But feel free to come in if you change your mind. Or you can go back downstairs if you want.”

“Thanks Ollie,” Harry said, flashing the other man a tight lipped smile. Ollie nodded at him curtly, before stepping into the room again. 

Harry watched as the kids’ faces all lit up when he walked into the room. They all immediately grabbed onto him, pulling him over towards the centre of their game and made him sit down. The three kids then started talking to him animatedly, gasping and giggling in delight as they played. It made Harry smile lightly to himself. 

***

Harry didn’t know how long he sat there and watched them play. He knew that it must have been a while, but he really had no concept of the time he had spent. He was just so engrossed in watching them play that he couldn’t think of anything else. 

Obviously, he played quite a bit with the twins. They were mini Tomlinsons, which therefore meant that they had never-ending energy and had to be constantly looked after. It was exhausting, but he loved it. They were his babies. 

But seeing them interact with other people that wasn’t him, Niall or Gemma was something he rarely got to see. They didn’t have many friends, since they were too young to make friends on their own and Harry was too busy to find them friends to play with. They hadn’t even started school yet, so they didn’t have anyone from there either. 

But watching them play so easily and happily with Bear was really something that he could get used to seeing. They were so open and fun with him, finally enjoying playing with another kid. Even Robbie looked like he was being quite open and expressive, having a great time. 

And then there was Ollie. They were clearly having fun with him too. Not nearly as much fun as they did with Niall, Liam or Louis, but they still looked like they were enjoying the company of an adult who wasn’t just Harry. 

What if they had someone else in their lives? What if they decided that they wanted another parent with them? What if they soon found out that just Harry wasn’t enough anymore? What if they started asking for someone else? The thought of that terrified him. 

He didn’t want to let them go, but sometimes it felt like everything was slipping away. Like he wasn’t doing enough. That he should be doing more to make them happy. That he should be enough for them alone, and that they would never need anyone else. 

Harry sighed to himself, finally tearing his gaze away from the bedroom and standing to his feet. He couldn’t just watch them anymore. It made him feel better after his attack, but now it was just killing him all over again. He needed to go. 

The boys were all still downstairs, as he hadn’t heard anyone other than Zayn leave. He didn’t know how long they had been there, but it must have been close to an hour. He wondered what they were doing, and decided to go see for himself. 

Being as quiet as he could, Harry walked down the stairs. He didn’t exactly know the layout of the house, but it was fairly easy to find the living room again. As he got closer, he could hear the hushed voices of the other three men. 

They were all still sitting in the same positions as before. Zayn was no longer there, but the other three were. Louis was on the love seat by himself, Niall was on the main couch and Liam was sitting in the huge chair. They were all talking quietly together, their faces serious. 

Acting out of pure bravery, he forced his feet into the living room. It took a moment for the other boys to realize he was walking in, but once they did, all conversation died down. 

“Harry,” Niall said softly as the curly headed boy walked over and sat beside him. The blond man instantly wrapped a protective arm around his shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Harry mumbled quietly, swallowing thickly. He knew what he needed to do now. “And, um, I think we should call Zayn back here.”

He watched as everyone’s expression changed to surprise. Niall’s face dropped. “Hazza, love, no,” he said with a frown, wrinkles appearing on his forehead. “He was so rude to you. He doesn’t even deserve to be here.”

“I want him here,” Harry empathized. “We’re all gonna be in a band, and we have to stop meeting like his. I want Zayn here so we can stop acting like fucking teenagers and actually sit down and have an actual conversation without one of us ripping the head off another. So I want to bring Zayn back and talk- like we were supposed to do in the first place.”

“We can talk,” Liam spoke up quietly. “Just the four of us. Like it used to be. We don’t have to bring Zayn back just yet.”

“Yes we do,” The curly haired man said stiffly. “We all need to talk. All five of us. Which means that we need to bring Zayn back. I know it, and you all know it too.”

He heard Niall sigh from where he was sitting next to him. “Harry…” he said, running a hand through his hair. 

But before he could say anything, Harry was cutting him off sharply. “We need to do this- I need to do this,” he said thickly. “This band isn’t ever going to work if we can’t sit down together for more than five minutes.”

Niall looked like he wanted to say something else again, but this time it was Louis who was cutting him off. “I think Zayn’s still outside,” he said, speaking up. “I can go get him.”

Harry didn’t reply, he wouldn’t even look at Louis. But he nodded his head up and down silently. Louis was then standing up and walking past them, towards the door. 

Once he was gone, Niall was quick to grab Harry by the shoulders and turn him around so that the younger man was looking directly at him. “Haz, you don’t need to do this,” he said quietly so that nobody else could hear. 

“Yes I do,” answered Harry, looking up so that he was looking his friend in the eyes. His own green eyes were wide and pleading. “I really need to do this, Ni.”

Niall sighed, nodding a little. “Okay then,” he mumbled. “I just… I don’t want you getting hurt again, H.”

“I won’t,” the man assured him, giving him a tight smile. “This is just something I need to do.”

Again, Niall nodded, but he didn’t seem too happy about it. A frown was still tugging at his lips and he looked worried. And Harry couldn’t blame him. Zayn has been a total jerk and had acted inappropriately, lashing out towards Niall’s best friend. But it was still important to do, even if Niall wasn’t over the moon about it. 

A couple minutes later, they heard the front door open as close again, followed by the sound of two pairs of footsteps. 

Louis walked in a second later, Zayn lingering a few feet behind him. He smelt like cigarettes, which meant that he had been smoking again. 

The two of them walked into the living room, before silently walking over to the couch and sitting down. 

When everyone was finally there, Harry took a deep breath. “Alright,” he said heavily. “Let's do this.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii!
> 
> So, I just wanted to say that you guys are so so so amazing. I know I say this a lot, but it’s so true. I can’t even put into words how grateful I am for all of you. The comments that I’ve been getting are always so sweet and so supportive!
> 
> Love you guys :)

“Alright,” he said heavily. “Let’s do this.”

Zayn, along with all the other boys, looked thoroughly confused. He swallowed uncomfortably, his eyes blinking at the curly haired man in confusion. “Do… do what exactly?” He asked dumbly. 

“Ask me stuff,” Harry answered easily, shifting back so that he was leaning into the couch again. “You have questions, so ask them. I’m gonna sit here and answer all of them. And then we’re gonna talk like adults.”

The dark haired man looked taken aback. “You’re…” He stammered, still blinking as he processed everything. “You just brought me back here to… answer questions? That’s why I came back?”

The man nodded his head up and down seriously. “Yes,” he answered firmly. “We’re going to be in a band, which means sorting out our shit. And it seems like you and I have quite a lot of shit, so we’re going to sort that out right here and right now. And that’s starting by me answering your questions.”

He said it so simply, yet it was the one thing he had been dreading ever since having the twins. He had been terrified of them finding out, but facing them afterwards had been the thing plaguing his nightmares for weeks. And now here he was, saying that he was an open book for their questions. It terrified him. 

But he just swallowed it down and leveled the dark haired man with a steady gaze. The type of gaze that you wouldn’t expect from a terrified person who had just undergone a panic attack. The type of gaze that would have the bravest people squirming in their seats. 

“Uh, Harry, are you sure?” Zayn asked tentatively, shifting in his seat. His dark brown eyes were looking at him with an emotion Harry could easily detect… pity. 

And, well shit. Harry didn’t need anyone’s pity, least of all Zayn’s. He had the most successful solo album out of all of them, he had a great family, he had a huge house and he had the twins. Sure, he had panic attacks, terrible anxiety and problems with eating and sleeping, but other than that he was literally living the dream. And he didn’t need pity. 

But he didn’t say that. Instead, he just fixed them with a hard, determined look and willed himself to look stronger than he felt. “I’m sure,” he answered stiffly. “And we have a meeting with Syco in a few days, so can we please just sort this shit out now,”

“Harry…” Niall said softly. “Why don’t you go home. I’ll watch the twins and you can go to sleep. We don’t have to do this today.”

“Shut up, Niall.” snapped Harry, turning to glare at his friend. He was always patient with Niall, because god knows that Niall is always patient with him, but his self-control was wearing thin. “I’ve said that I was sure several times. And I still am.”

He heard his best friend sigh. “Okay Harry,” he said tiredly, slumping back in his seat. “If you say so.”

Harry detected the sound of annoyance and tiredness in his voice. Of course Niall didn’t think he could sit and answer a few damn questions. He was too weak for that. Harry nearly rolled his eyes, but he managed to keep a straight face. 

Nobody was saying anything. Liam, Louis and Zayn were all just staring at him, all of them seeming to be chewing on their cheeks. “Well?” Harry said. “You all seemed pretty vocal about it already. Might as well get it all out now.”

They still said nothing. 

This time, Harry literally threw his hands into the air. “Come on!” He yelled at them, his eyebrows creased in the middle. “I know you all have questions, so just ask them already!’

Zayn coughed a little, clearing his throat. “Well… uh…” he stammered, awkwardly. “I just… just… can you just tell us what happened.”

“Okay. I got dicked down and knocked up,” Harry said easily, catching everyone off with his bluntness. He didn’t seem to notice. “Next question.”

Everyone seemed shocked by that, but Zayn managed to shake it off. “No, that’s not what I meant,” he swallowed. He seemed to be choosing his words very carefully. “What I mean to say is… when I left the band… it wasn’t like this. What happened?”

“I have no idea what you’re even trying to say,” Harry said breezily. 

“I mean, what happened? Between you guys…” Zayn trailed off, his eyes trailing from Harry, then over to Louis meaningfully. He seemed to be trying to make a point without actually saying it, but Harry just wasn’t understanding. 

“Zayn, I have no idea-” he started.

“He’s talking about us, Harry,” Louis interrupted suddenly, breaking his silence. “He’s asking what happened.” His face was remaining completely neutral, but he was looking straight at Harry. His icy blue eyes boring into the broken green orbs. 

Then Harry got it. His eyes clicked as he registered what he was saying. And then he snorted. “Oh Zayn,” he said, choking out a dry, humorless laugh. “You gotta ask me questions I know the answers to!”

Zayn’s face turned from nervous to suddenly concerned. Niall and Liam both exchanged glances and seemed to be communicating with their eyes together. Louis’ face hardened. 

“Harry…” he said warningly. 

Harry meanwhile was still giggling quietly to himself. Dry, humorless laughs bubbling out of his mouth. It made him feel sick. “What Louis?” He snapped, snorting. “Are you implying that I know what happened between us? That I know why you suddenly decided I wasn’t good enough?”

He watched Louis roll his eyes. “It wasn’t because you weren’t good enough,” he muttered coldly. “You know that.”

“I know that? Really?” Harry scoffed, any sign of mirth completely gone. He wasn’t laughing anymore. “Because I don’t think I do. I don’t know any anymore. And I don’t even know what happened between us, and I was supposed to be a part of it!”

Louis ran a hand over his face. “I’m not doing this today,” he said tiredly, and he seemed to have aged ten years in the past few seconds. 

“Zayn asked!” Defended the twenty four year old, getting worked up. “And I said that I’d answer, but I can’t because I don’t know! Because you never told me! You just left!”

But Louis wasn’t rising to the bait that Harry was leaving. “I said that I’m not doing this with you today,” he said stiffly. “Do you have any other questions, Zayn, or am I leaving now?”

Zayn seemed very awkward and uncomfortable, as did all the others. But they definitely had a good reason to be. Louis and Harry hadn’t been in the same room as each other more than a few times in the past five years, and Louis just found out that he had kids. A fight was bound to happen. 

Harry was still glaring at Louis when Zayn started speaking. “Well… erm…” the older man stammered, thinking of questions. “I guess I have a few more questions…”

“What are they?” Snapped Harry impatiently, never taking his eyes off of Louis. Ha hated that man with all his heart. Any confused feelings he had previously had were now gone. He wasn’t confused anymore, he was still mad. 

“When did you find out?” Zayn asked. 

It was kind of a loaded question, so Harry had to take his eyes off of Louis to actually answer Zayn. “I didn’t actually find out. It was Niall,” he explained. “And it was in 2015, obviously. When I was nineteen.”

“How did you find out?” Liam cut in, looking at Niall with an air of confusion on his face. “How did you know? The rest of us didn’t notice or anything and I don’t think anyone on the crew knew. Or, at least, I didn’t know.”

Niall just shrugged. “He was getting sick a lot,” he said. “Remember when he would always say he was going to take a wee? Well he was really going to the washrooms to be sick. I got curious one day and decided to follow him, and then the pieces all started to fit together.”

_ *** _ _   
  
_

_ “I gotta wee,” Harry said, suddenly interrupting the rehearsal. Everyone turned to look at him, clearly very unimpressed. But he didn’t even have it in him to look the least bit sheepish, as he struggled to hold his sickness in.  _

_ James, the manager, rolled his eyes. “Are you serious, Harry?” He snapped, annoyed. “This is the third time you’ve interrupted our rehearsal. Are you trying to set up back even further than we already are?” _

_ “Sorry,” Harry breathed. He couldn’t say anymore, since he was really struggling to keep everything inside him. If he said anything else, he wouldn’t make it to the toilet and would end up puking all over the recording studio. _

_ James rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he said, annoyed. “Just go already. You’re wasting enough time as it is.” _

_ Without any further prompting, the nineteen year old was making a mad dash out of the studio. He ran past his confused looking bandmates, making a beeline for the washrooms on the other end of the hall, leaving everyone else behind him in the studio. _

_ Liam frowned thoughtfully. “What was that about?” He wondered out loud, staring at the retreating back of the curly haired teen.  _

_ “He’s taking another wee,” scoffed Louis, rolling his eyes. “The third time since the rehearsal started. Honestly, it’s ridiculous. He’s just being attention seeking, ignore him.” _

_ But Niall was staring at the teen with a furrowed brow. He was a little suspicious, and wasn’t quite believing what Louis was saying about his ex-boyfriend. “I’m gonna go check on him,” he said suddenly. “You guys go ahead.” _

_ Liam nodded in understanding. “Sure, we’ll just be in the recording studio if you need us.” _

_ “You’re wasting your time,” Louis said to him, already moving towards the recording studio. “He’s just being an attention seeker… as usual.” _

_ But Niall wasn’t convinced by Louis’ words. So, after Liam and Louis had both gone off to the recording studio, he followed Harry into the washroom. And boy was he in for a surprise… _

_ *** _

“You were pregnant on tour?” Zayn asked, his eyes going wide. “How didn’t anyone notice!?”

This time, it was Harry who shrugged. “The only sign that would have given it away was the morning sickness, but, as Niall said, I covered it up fairly easily by saying I was taking a wee. It was pretty easy to hide it, since the band split before I was even four months along and barely showing. And then when I did start showing, I just wore hoodies and loose shirts.”

_ *** _ __   
  


_ “I can’t do this, Niall!” Nineteen year old Harry cried, wrapping his arms around his bare middle. He was leaning against the wall of his hotel bathroom, barely able to stand, shirtless and exposed. “I just can’t do it!” _

_ Niall’s heart broke at the sight of his terrified bandmate. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, Hazza,” he cooed, stepping closer to the distraught boy, slowly to not scare him. “Just calm down please. Everything is going to be fine.” _

_ But Harry just shook his head vigorously. “No!” He cried, starting to sob. “It won’t be fine! Look at me! You can already tell!”  _

_ He motioned down to his stomach. He was now four months along in his pregnancy, and a bump was very clearly visible now. It was protruding out from his stomach, stretching his skin along. It wasn’t huge yet, but it was very clear that he was getting bigger and bigger each day, and he was obviously pregnant.  _

_ Niall’s eyes flickered down to his stomach and then back up to his eyes, looking saddened. “It’s okay, Harry. I promise,” he said softly, taking another step towards him. “We’ll just cover it up with a hoodie like always.” _

_ “We can’t!” Harry sobbed, tears streaming down his pale face. “It’s getting t-too big! A h-hoodie and a shirt won’t be a-able to h-hide it anymore! Everyone is g-gonna be able to see and then they’re all gonna k-know!” _

_ Niall could see how upset his friend was getting, so he was quick to comfort him again. “No they won’t, Hazza. They won’t be able to tell if you wear a hoodie. Nobody’s gonna be able to tell. You’re not even that big yet.” _

_ “They will though! Everyone’s gonna know! Louis is gonna know!” Harry cried, completely breaking down into sobs. His shoulders were shaking and he was completely sobbing into his hands.  _

_ Niall reacted quickly. He rushed forward and grabbed his friend into a hug. It wasn’t too tight, as Harry’s stomach was pressing up against him and making a space between them and getting in the way of their hug, but it was still comforting.  _

_ “It’s okay, Harry,” he murmured, pressing a firm kiss to the boy’s temple. “Everything is going to be okay. They won’t find out.” _

_ Harry buried his face into the crook of his friend’s neck. “I’m getting so big, Niall,” he hiccupped. “I’m gonna be huge soon, and then they’ll all know. They probably already know now.” _

_ “Nobody knows, I promise. And you won’t be big for at least another month, and we won’t even be a band by that time,” Niall said gently. “They won’t know, and they won’t find out anytime soon.” _

_ Harry nodded wearily, leaning against the other boy. One hand was unconsciously resting on his bump, his fingers gently caressing it. “Okay Niall. Thank you,” he breathed.  _

_ *** _

“Well, shit,” Zayn mumbled, looking both shocked and appalled. “You didn’t tell… anyone?” Harry shook his head, causing the dark haired man to swear loudly. “Shit, Harry. How the hell… you were on tour- on stage- and you were pregnant? What about all the mosh-pit fans and the crazy stuff you did on stage?”

“I was fine,” insisted Harry, drawing his knees into his chest and curling up on himself. “We were only recording Made In The A.M. We weren’t even on tour. And I told Niall.”

Zayn still seemed a little horrified, but he nodded his head. “How old are they?”

“Four,” Harry answered easily. “They’re going to be five in August.”

Zayn nodded again. He didn’t ask anything else, either because he didn’t have any other questions or because he was still processing everything that he had just found out. He seemed spaced out, his eyes calculating. 

Liam coughed a little, turning everyone’s attention over to him. “I have a question,” he spoke up, looking Harry dead in the eye. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Harry swallowed thickly, lowering his gaze back down to the ground. He hugged himself tighter, which only resulted in making him look even smaller and more fragile. “I don’t…” he said, his voice already quavering. “I don’t know… I was scared.”

“Scared?” Liam repeated, furrowing his brow. “Of what?”

The twenty four year old shrugged, hugging himself tightly as comfort. “I was nineteen,” he said, swallowing thickly. “Louis and I weren’t together, the band was breaking up, I was still technically a teenager and I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t even know if I was gonna keep them. And I was  _ terrified _ of everything.”

Niall shifted closer to the man, wrapping his arms comfortingly around him. And this time, Harry didn’t even bother pushing him away. Instead, he curled in and rested his head against the blond man’s chest tiredly, seeking the comfort. 

It was perfect timing, since only a moment later, there was the sound of several small footsteps running down the stairs. Harry closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and preparing himself to face his two four year olds. 

“Allie!” Shouted the voice of Ollie, sounding panicked. “Allie, don’t run on the stairs! You’re gonna-!” He was cut off by a small shriek, followed by a loud thump. Harry didn’t even need to look over to know that his daughter fell down the stairs. 

It happened countless times a day, and Harry was used to it. She would probably bounce right back up in a few seconds, completely fine and with minimal bumps and bruises. But Ollie didn’t seem to be as used to it as Harry. 

“Oh no! Allie!” He exclaimed, rushing down the stairs in a panic. 

Liam was standing up, his own face panicked. “Did she fall?” He asked, his face creased with panic and worry. “Is she alright? Do we need to call an ambulance?”

“She’s fine,” Harry assured him, not even bothering to get up. There weren’t tears, which meant that she was alright. “You’ll see. In three… two… one…”

He paused, as did everyone else. “I’M OKAY!” Allie shouted only a second later. She jumped up, and continued running into the living room. Bear and Robbie were hot on her trail, following her into the room. Ollie came in a moment later, looking like he had just had a heart attack. 

“Hi daddy!” Chirped Robbie, hurrying over to the curly haired man. He rushed over to the couch, jumping straight into Harry’s arms. 

“Hey baby,” answered Harry, pulling the boy in close for a hug. He was plastering on a smile that he hoped looked realistic. It did apparently, since the small boy didn’t say anything. “Did you have fun playing?”

The four year old nodded his head. “Yup!” He said happily, smiling brightly. “Me and Allie and Bear were all playing!”

Harry hummed, resting his cheek against his son’s hair and breathing in deeply. He probably still looked like a mess, but he was hoping that they wouldn’t notice. The boys all clearly saw through his fake smile, since they were all giving him a sad expression. 

“Sounds like you had a blast,” he agreed. 

“We did,” answered Allie, already hopping onto Harry’s lap as well and nuzzling into his chest. “It was really really really fun.”

“You took a little bit of a tumble, Al. Y’alright?” He asked her, subtly checking her for any new bumps on her head just to make sure. 

“She was running down the stairs,” Ollie explained, still looking pale and frazzled. “She just seemed to lose her footing. I couldn’t do anything as she went flying down the stairs. I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry just waved it off. “It happens all the time,” he said, reassuringly. “And she doesn’t have any bumps on her head, so she’ll be fine. Does it hurt, Al?”

“Nope!” Chirped the curly headed girl. “Didn’t even hurt one bit!”

“Well that’s good, innit,” Niall said, ruffling the girl’s hair. “Can’t have you messing up your pretty little face, now can we?”

The girl giggled, which caused Robbie to even crack a smile. But as much as Harry wanted to stay for them, he was drained and needed to go home. “Well, glad you had fun. Maybe we can do it again sometime,” he said. “But we should really go now.”

The both pouted, but before they could get a word in, Niall was cutting them off. “That sounds like a great idea,” he agreed, already lifting Robbie into his arms. “Let’s all go home, and then maybe we can play together while daddy sleeps.”

“Yeah!” Robbie exclaimed in excitement, his eyes shining brightly. 

Harry smiled at his best friend. He had no idea what he would have done if it weren’t for Niall. The man was an actual saint. “Okay then, please say bye to Bear and say thank you,” Harry reminded them, getting up and grabbing Allie’s hand. 

The girl waved at Bear. “Bye Bear!” She yelled. “Thank you!”

“Bye bye,” Robbie said, smiling at his new friend. “Thanks for playing.”

Bear was quick to wave them off as well. “Bye Allie, bye Robbie,” he said cheerfully. “Maybe you can come back and play again soon!”

The twins both nodded vigorously. They seemed to have had a great time with their new best friend, which made Harry feel really happy despite being utterly exhausted. 

They had gotten to the door, when Harry turned back to the other boys. Their eyes all seemed to be trained on the twins, but they looked up at Harry when they noticed him turn around. Their faces all looked saddened. 

Harry turned to Liam and Ollie, who stood together. He flashed them a genuine, grateful smile. “Thanks for everything,” he said to them, sincere. 

They both just nodded. “It’s really no problem, H,” Liam said. “You can bring them over anytime. And you’re always welcome to come over sometime as well, you don’t need to bring the twins if you don’t want to.”

“It was nice meeting you,” Ollie added politely. 

Harry nodded, shooting them a final, quick smile. He was turning to leave when he saw Louis and Zayn still lingering. Niall and the twins had gone to the car, leaving it only Harry. He turned to see them both staring at him. 

“Bye,” he managed to force out, his eyes flicking up solely at Louis. Louis just nodded in response, his face looking soft and pitying. 

“Bye Harry,” he mumbled. Zayn said nothing, and Harry didn’t either. He left before Louis even finished talking, leaving without saying a word to Zayn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And i did decide to put in those little flashbacks! Let me know what you think???


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!!!
> 
> So there’s been some confusion, so I’m just going to clear everything up here.  
> This story is not canon. The timeline is all messed up and this is not following their actual lives completely.
> 
> Freddie is 8, Bear is 7, Christle is 5 and the twins are 4. Liam was pregnant with Bear while they were still in the band, and took a few months off while Ollie mostly raised him for the first year. Briana gave birth to Freddie in 2012 (when Louis was 18 and she was 21) and Liam gave birth in 2013 (when he was 19)
> 
> Again, sorry for the confusion. Enjoy this next chapter!!

One week later, Harry was right back where it all started. Sitting at the long, white board table at Syco Facilities. The one place that he had hoped he’d never have to be again. And yet here he was, ready for yet another meeting. 

A lot had happened during the week. After meeting at Liam’s house, he had decided he needed a break. He had flown out to London with Allie and Robbie and had spent a few days there with his mum and Robin, his stepdad. 

It had been really nice to be there, in his hometown and surrounded by the people he loved. It had also been kind of an escape from his responsibilities, since he had both Anne and Robin to look after the twins while he could relax and think things over. He also didn’t need to cook or clean, since his mum insisted on doing it herself, claiming that Harry was doing too much. 

He didn’t mind, of course. It was strange not to have to do everything everyday, but it was also kind of nice to have someone else doing things for him. It was something that didn’t happen very often, so it felt really nice for a change. Also, Anne insisted on him eating three full meals a day, which was something he hadn’t done in forever. 

All in all, it had been a great trip and he had loved every second of it. But he had had to come back only a few days later because of the dreaded meeting. Syco had set one up immediately after their first meeting. They seemed anxious to get things moving as fast as possible. 

Even though Cecelia’s hip was still causing her to stay in the hospital, Harry had managed to find a babysitter for the twins. Gemma was out of town on a meeting, but her boyfriend Micheal was able to watch them. It worked out since it meant that they got a chance to see their cousin Drew. 

So there he was, sitting in the uncomfortable chair, waiting for the meeting to start. The other boys were all already there as well, just sitting silently in their own chairs. They had the normal seating arrangement. Zayn, then Louis, then Liam, then Harry, then Niall on the end. The other end of the table was reserved for the Syco people. 

“This is ridiculous,” Liam grumbled after around ten minutes of waiting without anyone showing up. “They organized this stupid meeting and made us all come here. They should at least be on time for it.”

“Or we could just leave?” Zayn suggested. It was tempting to do that. But they all knew they couldn’t. So they just ignored his comment. 

The other boys all grumbled in agreement. “This better not take forever. I have a date to get to and I don’t want to cancel on her again,” Niall muttered impatiently. Well, that seemed to gather everyone’s attention. 

“You have a date?” Liam repeated, his eyes widening. He looked shocked. As a matter of fact, Zayn and Louis also looked surprised by that knowledge. 

“Yeah…” Niall said, clearly picking up on their shock. He raised an eyebrow at them. “Why’s that so surprising?”

At that, they all seemed to become a little embarrassed. Liam chewed on his lip sheepishly. “Well… uh…” he stammered, looking embarrassed as a small blush decorated his cheeks. “We all sorta assumed… that… you know… you’re always at Harry’s house… we just sorta thought…”

At the mention of his name, Harry frowned. “You thought what?” He asked in confusion. 

“We thought you two were together,” Zayn admitted before Liam could say anything. He was looking sheepish, and Louis’ face darkened. 

The room went silent for a long moment. It only lasted about three seconds. 

Then Harry and Niall burst out laughing. Loud, honks of laughter escaping from their mouths. It caught the other boys off by surprise, causing them to jump by the sudden outbursts. 

Harry was laughing harder than he had in a long time. His arms were wrapped around his middle and there were tears in his eyes. He was laughing so hard that his rib cage hurt. And Niall was just as bad. The blond man was doubled over and could barely breathe from all his laughter. 

They were laughing so loudly that probably the whole facility could hear them. If there was a child sleeping, they definitely would have woken them up. People were probably a little concerned even from how loud they were. It was probably a little concerning for anyone walking by. 

“Oh my god!” Harry gasped, trying to calm himself down, but failing. He just couldn’t stop laughing, it was too funny. “Oh my god! You thought- you thought we were-! Oh my god!”

“You thought we were  _ dating?!” _ Niall yelled, only causing both he and Harry to burst into giggles all over again. “This is too much! You actually thought we were together?!”

Liam flushed red a little. “It’s not that hard to think,” he defended with a sheepish frown, looking a little embarrassed. “You’re always together, Niall has a room at your house, you’re a;ways hugging and playing with each other’s hair, and he’s so familiar with the twins… we just thought...”

“Because we’re FRIENDS!” Harry exclaimed, giggling into his hand as he tried to stop laughing. “We’re just best friends! We’ve never dated or anything like that! Oh my god!”

“We’re not dating!” Niall added. “I like  _ girls!” _

“So you’ve never dated?” Zayn clarified after a moment, his face a little flushed as well. “And you’ve never been, like, together or anything?”

“Never!” Niall exclaimed, wiping away the tears that had formed in his eyes. “I can honestly say that Harry and I have never been romantically connected or anything. We’re just best mates, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Harry said, flashing Niall a teasing smile as he schooched their faces together. “Pretty sure you’re gonna fall for my devilishly good looks any day now.”

Niall rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he answered playfully. “Not until the day when you finally fall for my special irish charm!”

And Harry actually snorted out a giggle. “In your dreams!” He laughed, shoving the blond man lightly. “You wish you could get a piece of this!”

Niall then smirked, flashing Harry his most seductive smile. “Mmm, yes I do,” he said in a sexy voice, his eyes racking down Harry’s body. “I can’t wait to get a piece of you.”

The other boys looked pretty uncomfortable at their ‘dirty’ talk, and you could tell. Liam was blushing profusely and looking down not to meet their eyes. Zayn just looked awkward and a little sheepish. And then Louis looked angry. He was clutching the table with clenched fists, his knuckles turning white. Harry raised an eyebrow at that. 

“What the hell is going on in here?” A voice snapped harshly from the doorway. The five of them spun around to see James standing there, a hard glare placed on his face. 

Harry blinked in surprise. He hadn’t even noticed the door opening, and he certainly didn’t realize that James had been standing there. He didn’t even know how much he had heard, but judging by his face, he assumed it was only the last part. 

“We we’re just-” He stammered, thinking of an excuse or anything to say, but his mind drawing a blank. He was just so caught off guard by their Manager’s sudden appearance that he didn’t know what to say. 

“Just what, Styles?” Snapped James, his eyes narrowing in Harry direction. “Getting it on with another band member? One wasn’t enough for you?”

“That’s not what was-” Harry tried again, only to be interrupted yet again. 

“Whatever, we’ve wasted enough time on your shit as it is, Styles. Just try not to get knocked up again,” he grumbled, moving to take a seat across the table. 

Harry snapped his mouth shut. He clenched his jaw so as to not do something that would not be good. Such as to start yelling or crying. So he just snapped his mouth shut and pressed his lips into a thin line. 

He saw Niall open his own mouth, ready to fight tooth and nail to defend Harry. But Harry was quick to place his hand on his friend’s thigh, effectively stopping him before he could make everything else worse. But Liam was also there, and he was just as angered by their Manager’s comments. 

“He said that that wasn’t what was going on, and it wasn’t,” Liam defended, glaring at James. “We were just talking, and don’t talk to Harry like that.”

James studied Liam for a long moment, before rolling his eyes. “Yeah, whatever. I don’t really care,” he said, sitting down. “We’ve wasted enough time already and we have important things to discuss.”

The room was already tense. Everything had been light and funny for a long moment there, but that seemed to be long gone. Any mirth or fun that the five of them had been having was gone and it was now them sitting tensely in the room with James. It was tense and serious all over again. 

“So, first things first. The album,” James said, continuing as if he didn’t even realize the tenseness of the room. “We’ve already decided that we’re going to put seventeen tracks on there-”

“SEVENTEEN?!” Louis yelled, his eyes widening in shock. Harry knew that he had a similar expression on his face. “You expect us to put SEVENTEEN tracks on the album?! That’s ridiculous!”

“We can’t do that,” Zayn said, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes at the other man. “Seventeen is way more than we’ve ever done.”

It was insane. Clearly James didn’t realize how long it takes to write an album, because seventeen was way too many. Ten was the average amount that they wrote, not seventeen. Harry’s eyes were wide and his jaw was gaping open. There was no way he could do this.

“Would you not interrupt me I wasn’t finished,” snapped James, glaring at the five of them. “If you hadn’t interrupted me then you would have known that I don’t expect you to write seventeen new songs.”

That caused them to all stop yelling for a second, and turn confused instead. “Wait, what?” Niall asked, his eyebrows furrowing. “But how… you said we got to write all our songs.”

James rolled his eyes again. “You do get to write the songs, as annoying as it is,” he muttered the last part. “What I mean is that we’re putting five of the tracks of your solo music. You each get to choose one of your own songs to re-record with the band and put it on the new album.”

Harry blinked in surprise for a second. He hadn’t expected that of all things to be what the meeting was about. He had assumed that it wasn’t going to be good, but this was… this was kinda good news. 

“Wait, we get to pick one of our songs for the album?” Zayn repeated, his eyebrows high on his forehead. “Any one of our songs? For real?”

“Yeah, the team and I decided that it would be great for the quality of the album. Fans want to hear each of you, not only singing your own songs, but singing it with the rest of the band,” James explained, shuffling a few papers in front of him. 

The other boys seemed to be just as surprised as Harry. “Wow,” Liam murmured, his eyes wide. “That’s… thats great.” He sounded flabbergasted. 

James just nodded. “Well, it’s only for promotion.” Heaven forbid he ever did something that wasn’t cruel to them if it wasn’t just for money. “So I want you all to think of which of your songs you would like to go on the album. It doesn’t have to be your most successful song either, it can be whichever you want to choose. I want you all to send me your answers within three days so that we can be ready to re-record them next week.”

“Great,” Niall said, nodding. “So… is that all? Because I’m kinda on a tight schedule…”

James rolled his eyes for what was probably the third time since the meeting started. “Your schedule can wait. We still have one more thing we need to discuss,” he said. “We need to discuss how we’re going to come out.”   
  
Harry started choking on the water he had been drinking, and Niall had to whack him on the back. Everyone else's eyes were the size of saucer pans. 

  
_ “Excuse me!?”  _ Liam exclaimed. 

James seemed to realize what he said, and his own eyes widened. “As a band,” he corrected hastily. “How we’re gonna… announce the reunion. That was what I meant to say. Not… not what you… that’s not what I meant.”

“Because heaven forbid anyone come out around here,” Louis grumbled. It was under his breath and probably meant so that no one else would hear. But Harry heard, and he didn’t exactly know how he felt about that. 

He and Louis hadn’t spoken a word to each other since his panic attack at Liam’s house. He had immediately gone out to London before Louis could even ask about seeing the twins, so he didn’t have to see the man. He didn’t want to see Louis, because then he would be confused as ever. 

Harry surprised even himself when he heard himself starting to speak up. “How are we announcing it?” He asked curiously. 

“Well, first we need to start up the rumors. You’re all going to start following each other on every social media platform for a start, which will rouse some attention. Then you will be seen out together, where we’ll make sure you’ll get papped. Then we’re going to post some tweets with some old lyrics to songs, and that should be good. Or, it will be enough to start the rumors until we confirm them,” James explained. 

It made a lot of sense to Harry. Obviously they wanted to start the rumors before confirming anything. The build up was what caused the fandom to get excited about the band all over again. And the One Direction was the strongest and more amazing fandom in the world. Everything James was saying made complete sense to him. 

“Great, when do we start?” Liam asked, his eyes glinting a little. 

_ ‘Well,’  _ Harry thought grimly to himself. ‘ _ At least someone is excited about this whole band reunion thing. Can’t say the same about everyone else.’ _

“Today,” James answered confidently. “For a start, we’re gonna have two of you papped together. Then the rest should be a breeze. So, Zayn and Harry are going to start us off by meeting up together for some coffee at the latest coffee shop.”

Well, that changed everything. Harry didn’t even need to look at Zayn to know that both of them were wearing matching expressions of distaste. 

“Uh, how about not Zayn and Harry?” Suggested Liam, the excitement gone from his face and replaced with concern. “I can go out with one of them instead?”   
  


James just looked at him with confusion. “Why?” He asked, before seeming to think better of it. “You know what, nevermind. I don’t really care about the shit you guys might have, but you’re doing this today and that’s final.”

“I can’t,” Harry said suddenly, the perfect excuse coming to mind. “I need to get my kids. Gemma’s boyfriend is watching them, but he can’t for too long. I have to go get them,” he lied easily, forging apologeticness. “Sorry, but I don’t think it’ll work.”

“I can watch them,” A voice said almost instantly. Harry resisted the urge to close his eyes and groan.  _ Of course. _ He looked over to see Louis looking at him with wide, almost pleading eyes. He looked like an eager puppy or something. It annoyed him. 

“That’s fine,” Harry answered curtly. “You probably don’t even know the way. It’s fine. I can just go get them and someone else can go with Zayn.”

But Louis wasn’t relenting don’t easily. “It’s the same place, right? Where we went for… erm… Christmas that year…” He immediately lowered his gaze down. It was an unspoken rule to never ever mention their past relationship. 

Unfortunately, he was right. “It…” Harry sighed, closing his eyes tiredly. He couldn’t lie, he didn’t have the energy for that. “Yes… yes it is…”

“Perfect,” James said, though he didn’t sound like he thought it was perfect. He was looking a little disgusted. Homophobic bastard. “Well that’s settled. Zayn and Harry will go out today and get papped. Rumours will be going off like crazy in just a few hours.”

“Great,” Niall said. “Now are we done now? I gotta go.”

James rolled his eyes (again?!) and sighed in annoyance. “Yes, we’re done,” he said finally, gathering his papers. “Remember to think of which song you want, or else we’ll be choosing for you.”

Harry sighed, rubbing his temples. It was going to be a long day.

***

To say that Zayn was walking on eggshells around Harry would have been an understatement. 

The man was literally tiptoeing around everything with Harry. He barely talked to him, and when he did it was in a soft voice, as if he was speaking to a child. It was like he expected that Harry was going to blow up into an emotional mess at any second. 

He had already apologized about a million times, but Harry just wasn’t having it. He didn’t want to hear it. He honestly didn’t care what Zayn thought anymore, whether it was good or bad. And he wasn’t going to sit there and hear a fake apology when the dark haired man had already had already made it clear what he thought.

It was actually quite annoying. Harry already had to suffer through going to coffee with Zayn, which would have been bad enough. But now he also had to put up with the man constantly worrying about every tiny thing and acting all gentle as fake with Harry to spare him or something. It was actually painful. 

They were sitting at a table in the coffee shop. As Simon had told them, it was the latest and most popular one, so it was guaranteed to be busy and a perfect spot to get papped at. And he was right. The place was literally packed with customers. 

To be fair, it was a nice shop. It was trendy and clean and smelt really nice. The food was all organic (which was something Harry was all for) and then the coffee was healthy or something. It had every right to be popular, since it was clearly quite nice. But Harry just thought that maybe the amount of people might be kind of overkill.

But the whole point of this was to get spotted out together, so it was good for that. Harry knew that they had already gotten papped by not only paparazzi, but also spotted by fans. So the plan was working. 

They were sitting at the table together, Harry sipping at his green matcha tea (‘hipster’ as Louis would call it) while Zayn drank his coffee. The dark haired man was staying silent, but his eyes were staring directly at Harry, not subtle at all. 

Finally, Harry had had enough. He put his cup down and looked up at Zayn with narrowed eyes. “Okay, what’s wrong?” He snapped with a scowl. 

Zayn seemed taken aback but his, and his eyes went wide. “Nothing is wrong,” he said quickly, looking shocked. “Nothings wrong.”

“Don’t give me that crap,” Harry interrupted with a scowl. “You’ve been practically ignoring me this entire time, and when you talk to me it’s like I’m a child. What’s your problem?”

Zayn lowered his gaze, his fingers tapping nervously against his mug. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I just… what are we even doing here?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “We’re having coffee and getting papped,” he answered easily. 

But the dark haired man just shook his head. “No, I mean what are we doing back here again? Back where we started off? What are we  _ doing  _ going back to Syco like everything is the same?”

“We’re being used,” The younger man answered with a sigh. “That’s all Syco ever does, use us.”

“But we were supposed to be done!” Zayn exclaimed, sounding both desperate and angry at the same time. “We were supposed to be finished with our contracts and doing our own stuff. We can’t go back.”

Harry just raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t think I know that?” He snapped, his gaze hardening. “I don’t want to go back either. Syco took everything away from me. I don’t want to go back either. So don’t complain to me about your problems when I’m clearly the one who’s having the hardest time.”

Zayn seemed surprised by the outburst. Harry always used to be the small, cheeky, curly headed boy that everyone loved. He was the quiet and polite one of the group, and he rarely ever stood up for himself. So having Harry literally snapping at him in the coffee shop surprised him. 

“Sorry,” Zayn mumbled, his eyes wide. “I just thought that we were on the same page there…”

Harry just scoffed. “We’re not on the same page. You don’t understand at all. Nobody understands,” he sneered, wrapping his arms around himself protectively. “I wanna go home now.”

But the other man was just looking at him with soft, pitying eyes. “He misses you, you know,” Zayn whispered quietly after a long moment, his voice soft and quiet, barely above a whisper. But Harry heard him. 

His head snapped over, causing him to spill his drink over his hands. “Shit!” He yelped as it burnt his skin. He snatched up the napkins from the middle of the table and immediately started tapping it to his hot hand, wincing. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“Harry…” Zayn started, his eyes wide as he looked at the spilt drink with shock. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that,” Harry snapped immediately, hissing. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down again. His skin was still burning, but he didn’t even care about that anymore. He just needed to stop talking about it. 

Zayn clearly didn’t understand that. “He does. He hasn’t said it, but I can tell that he misses you. He’s missed you for a long time,” he continued. 

“Shut up!” Harry yelled, shaking his head from side to side as he closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t listen to this now. “Just shut up, Zayn! He doesn't’ miss me, he has Eleanor!”

At that, Zayn looked even more shocked. “Hold up, you think-” he stammered, his eyes wide and shocked. “You think he has  _ Eleanor?  _ As in, dating?”

“Yes, fuck Zayn!” Harry nearly shouted, his anger creeping further and further into his voice. “Yes as in dating! I’m done talking about this.”

  
  


Zayn still looked surprised, but he also had a different expression on his face. It was something that Harry couldn’t quite place, but he also didn’t care. He didn’t care what Zayn thought anymore. “You and Louis have a lot to talk about,” was all he said. 

Harry was done. He was done with this stupid meeting. It was a bad idea, and he was out. He stood up suddenly, his chair nearly falling backwards from the movement. “I’m done here,” he muttered. “We are not talking about this.”

Thankfully, Zayn seemed to understand. “Alright then,” he nodded. “We already got papped, so I guess we can leave now.”

Harry was out the door before he even finished talking. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, you guys are so so so amazing!!!!
> 
> Please leave comments, because I love them and they really inspire me to write faster and it lets me know that people still like my story :)

You see, Harry was having a problem. And as always, that problem was Louis Tomlinson. The man was literally everywhere now that the band was getting back together. Not only was he everywhere that Harry went, but he was constantly on his mind. For example, he had gone to a local coffee shop and had ordered the first thing that came to mind, a Yorkshire tea. He hadn’t even noticed that it was Louis’ signature drink until he had gotten home that day with the empty cup. 

And this would actually all be fine if Harry could harness all that thinking into hate. Then he could hate Louis and his guts, hate Eleanor, hate his music and never let him near him or the kids ever again. That would have been so simple and something that sounded really appealing. All his problems would be solved if he could just hate Louis with all his heart. 

He should hate Louis, after everything that happened between them. He has every right to hate Louis. They had been in love for so long, and then Louis somehow decided that he was done. Done with Harry, done with the band, done with the twins he never knew. He just decided to quit on them and all their hopes and dreams, leaving Harry to salvage what was left of his life. He should hate Louis with all his heart. 

But for some reason, Louis had been nothing but perfect. He was funny as always, he was being respectful of Harry’s boundaries, he was saying all the right things to the twins, and he was… just being himself. Basically he was being the same Louis that Harry had fallen in love with. And that was what infuriated him. 

Because Louis was practically the same. He had grown taller since the hiatus, and his stubble was a little more pronounced. His muscles had also grown in and he looked stronger than before. But he was clearly the same on the inside. And that was the same person that Harry had fallen in love with, and that terrified him. It terrified him to know that the person he had loved was still there. 

And that was what made Harry even more confused. Because he wanted Louis to be kind and respectful if he was going to see the twins, but he also hated him for acting that way. But if he were to start acting like a jackass, then Harry would still hate him all over again. Either way, Harry didn’t get what he wanted and still stayed angry. There was no way he could win anymore. 

Just like literally everything in Harry’s life, this was one big complicated mess.

Which was why, when he walked in his house and saw Louis sitting there on the couch, he became angry all over again. Louis was literally sitting on his  _ couch _ typing away on his phone. Like he belonged there. Like he owned the place. 

Harry couldn’t even describe how he was feeling. All he could see was red. It was irrational, but he was angry. He slammed the door closed again, throwing his keys onto the counter so that they made a loud clattering sound. He saw Louis jump, spinning around in surprise. 

“What the hell!” Harry yelled, stomping over to the couch, seeing nothing but red. He was angry, and he couldn’t help the shouting. He didn’t even notice, he was so pissed. 

Louis looked surprised to say the least. He had jumped nearly a foot in the air when Harry slammed the door, and he hopped off the couch to his feet. He took a small step back, looking shocked and a little scared of the curly haired man. “Woah, Harry,” he stammered. “What are you-”

But Harry was too irrational now. He stomped right up to Louis so that they were nearly touching. “Who the hell do you think you are?!” He yelled, his finger jabbing into Louis’ chest. “What are you doing here!?”

“I’m watching Allie and Robbie,” defended Louis, looking down at the younger man with wide eyes. He was obviously shocked by Harry, but the man didn’t even notice. “You knew that, Harry.”

Harry looked around the room. There was no trace of either four year old, and that made him even angrier. “Where are they then!?” He spat, gesturing at the room. “I don’t see them anywhere!”

“They’re sleeping, Harry!” The twenty six year old exclaimed. “They were tired from playing so I put them down for a nap! You’re going to wake them with all your yelling.”

At that, Harry barked out a humorless laugh. “I’m going to wake them, am I!? And wouldn’t that be a shitty thing for a parent to do! But that makes sense. I’m shitty at everything else, might as well be a shitty parent as well!”

“What are you on about?” Exclaimed Louis, looking at the younger man incredulously. 

Harry just scoffed at him. “Whatever. Just get out of my house!” He moved to storm past Louis, fully planning on walking right out of the room and expecting Louis to leave him alone. He was fuming as he moved to stomp away. 

But Louis was too quick. His hand shot out and wrapped around Harry’s thin wrist before the man could leave. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, stopping him. “Use your words, Harry. You don’t get to just blow through here and scream.”

“I can do whatever I want!” Harry yelled back, trying to rip his hand out of Louis’ grip. A few years ago he probably would have been able to fight Louis off of him and escape, but not anymore. Louis had gotten stronger, while Harry had just gotten thinner. And he was stuck. 

“Nuh uh,” Louis said, tugging him closer so that he was at arms length. “You aren’t going to march upstairs and start screaming at me without an explanation. That might work on other people, but not on me.”

“Oh fuck off with your high and mighty act, Louis! You are fooling anyone!” Harry screamed, trying to wrench his hand away yet again, but to no success. “You might not be as broken as me, but that doesn’t mean you’re perfect!”

He watched Louis’ face sadden a little, and his grip loosened on his wrist. “You’re not broken, Harry,” he said softly. “Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you’re broken.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME!” Harry yelled. “Now LET. ME. GO!”

He tried to wrench his arm out of Louis’ grip again, but that only resulted in him tripping backwards over the couch. Before he knew what was happening, he was sent falling over the couch and onto the hardwood floor below. Or at least he would have, if Louis hadn’t been holding on so tightly. Louis managed to haul him back up to his feet before he could hit the ground. 

“Harry, stop. I’m trying to help you,” he grumbled, grunting as he hauled the man back up to his feet. “Shit, how the hell are you so light?”   
  
Harry just placed both his hands onto Louis’ chest and shoved him back as hard as he could. This time, Louis was caught off guard and went stumbling backwards. He managed to catch his footing before falling over, much to Harry’s dismay. 

“Go away, Louis! Get out of my house!” Harry yelled, his face starting to turn red in anger. He cursed under his breath when he felt tears prickling at his eyes, and he brought his hands up to furiously scrub them away. 

Also to his dismay, Louis wasn’t even making a move to leave. “I’m not leaving, Harry,” he said. “I don’t think you should be by yourself right now.”

“WHAT!?” Yelled Harry, the tears still gathering. A few escaped his eyelids and slipped down his cheeks, which only angered him further. “You don’t trust me alone with my own kids!? You think I’m going to hurt them or something!?”

“I’m more scared of you hurting yourself,” Louis commented dryly, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re not in a state to be home alone right now.”

Harry could barely believe his ears. Not in a state to be alone!? “I’m not a child, Louis!” He snapped. 

“No you’re not,” agreed Louis, still making no move to leave. “But I still don’t want you to be alone right now. I’ll leave if you want me to, but someone is staying here. So if it’s not going to be me, then who are you gonna call to come over?”

“Niall,” Harry lied. “He’s already coming over. So you can go.”

Louis raised an eyebrow. “He’s already coming over?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?”   
  
“Yeah.”

“You’re lying.”

“... yeah.”

Louis sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. “Why do you have to make everything so much more difficult?” He grumbled, already pulling out his phone. 

“I’ve been asking myself that everyday,” Harry answered dryly, sitting down on the couch and curling in on himself. He drew his knees into his chest, hugging them close for comfort. Louis just watched him with an unreadable expression. 

He seemed to snap out of it quickly, since he grabbed his phone and started dialing. Harry cast him a confused expression. “I’m calling Niall,” he explained without Harry even needing to ask. Harry just rolled his eyes and slumped into the cushions. 

After several moments, Louis pulled the phone away from his ear. “He’s not picking up,” he said with a small frown. 

“He’s on a date,” Harry mumbled, hugging himself close. “Don’t call him again. I don’t wanna ruin that too.”

Louis just sighed. It was either a sad sigh or an annoyed sigh. Either way, it just made Harry feel even worse. He was just ruining everyone’s day. “Who do you want me to call then?” The older man asked. 

Harry thought for a moment. He couldn’t think of anyone. The realization of that made his heart sink. “I don’t know,” he admitted dejectedly after a long moment of silence. It just made him feel all the more alone to admit it out loud. 

“What about Gemma?” Offered Louis. 

“She’s away for work.”

“Your mum?”   
  
“In London.”

“Hmm, Liam?”

“He said he was busy, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Louis muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Hmm, well, uh. Don’t you have, like, celebrity friends or something that you could call?”

Harry snorted. “Yeah right,” he scoffed, self deprecating. “That’s a funny joke. Celebrities aren’t your friends, and if they are it’s only for business purposes. I don’t have any friends.”

“Yes you do,” insisted Louis, his face softening. “You have the boys.”

“I have Niall,” corrected Harry, hugging himself tighter as his eyes burned even more. “That’s it. Don’t even pretend that any of us are friends anymore. I literally just got back from having coffee with Zayn and you saw how that turned out. None of us are how we used to be, and you’d be stupid to think that we are.”

Louis didn’t say anything for a long time, probably a little surprised and saddened by Harry’s depressing monologue. “There must be someone you can call just to have over. You don’t have any friends or family around who could come by for a little while?”

Harry just shook his head. “I don’t have anyone anymore,” he said shakily, hugging himself tightly. His heart constricted as he said those words, a few tears leaking down his face. “There’s no one that cares.”

Louis then didn’t say anything, as he slowly lowered his phone back down. Harry couldn’t see his expression, because his eyes were swimming with tears and making his vision blurry. He just curled in on himself, hugging his legs in as some form of comfort. Usually, Niall was there to hug it better, but now he was all alone. It hurt his heart. 

He felt the couch dip next to him. He could feel Louis’ presence sitting down beside him, the faint familiar smell of his cologne surrounding him. Harry just sniffled pathetically as a few more tears streamed down his cheeks, dripping onto the hoodie he was wearing. 

“You can g-go,” Harry sniffled, not daring to look Louis in the eyes. He didn’t want to see the disgust reflecting in his eyes. He wouldn’t have been able to handle that. “You don’t have to s-stay here.”

“I’m not leaving, Haz,” Louis answered softly, making no move to get off the couch. “I already said that I wasn’t going to leave you here alone, and that’s still true.”

Harry didn’t say anything else, because his throat was too choked up. He wouldn’t be able to swallow down the emotion if he tried to speak, and would most likely end up sobbing. So he just didn’t say anything. 

_ ‘He doesn’t want to be here,’  _ Harry’s mind sneered cruelly at him.  _ ‘He wants to be off with Eleanor, who he loves. He never really loved you, and why would he? He’s disgusted by you, and who wouldn’t be? You’re pathetic. A complete waste of space. Allie and Robbie already said they hate you. The band hates you, they would sound better without you. You’re too needy, probably annoying the shit out of Niall. He probably hates you too, but is too nice to say it to your face. You don’t deserve to be here. You’re just a disgusting little-’ _

“Hey. Stop that,” Louis’ voice cut into his thoughts like a knife, startling Harry back to reality. He looked over in surprise, seeing Louis’ face drawn into a tight frown. “I know what you’re doing. Stop it.”

“What?” Harry asked dumbly, hating the way his voice cracked at the end. 

“You’re thinking too much again. I can see it on your face,” Louis said, turning so that he was looking the younger man in the eyes. His face softened even more as his eyes saddened, noticing the tears that were slowly dripping down his pale cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Harry just shook his head. “You don’t care,” he answered thickly, his voice shaking. “It doesn’t matter anyways.”

But Louis wasn’t having it. “Okay, so those are both wrong,” he said, ducking his head down to look Harry in the eyes. “First of all, I do actually care about Harry. Even if you think I’m a jackass and I think you’re an idiot, I still care about you. And second of all, it does matter because you’re clearly hurting.”

“It’s stupid,” Harry mumbled, curling in closer to himself. “I’m being stupid. It doesn’t even matter. I’m just… stupid.”

He turned away so that Louis wouldn’t be able to see the way his eyes welled up with a new batch of fresh tears. But Louis slid off the couch and crouched directly in front of him so that he was forced to look back at the older man. 

“Hey, stop doing that. It’s not stupid if it’s making you this upset,” he said gently. “Now please just tell me what it is.”

“It’s just…” Harry sighed, his voice wavering. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his tears at bay. “It hurts. Everything hurts all the time. But it can’t hurt, you know? Because I can’t let myself break around the twins. I can’t… I’m the only one. I have to be the strong one because I’m the only one, and I can’t hurt because I can’t fall apart. If I fall apart then they won’t have anyone, so I can’t be broken, but I am. And… It just hurts so much.”

Louis’ face fell while he spoke, his eyes saddening more and more as Harry spoke. By the end of it, he looked like he might just start crying himself. When Harry finally looked up, he was shocked to see how sad he looked.

But Harry was just confused. Why would Louis be sad that he was hurting? They hated each other. Or, at least, Louis hated Harry. It didn’t make sense that he was sad over him. He would understand disgust, annoyance or even pity. But not sadness. 

“Louis, what-” he started, but was cut off when all of a sudden he was being engulfed into a giant hug. Louis grabbed onto him, basically pulling the younger man into his lap as he hugged him tightly. 

At first, Harry was stiff in the hug. He was practically sitting on Louis’ thighs with his head tucked into his chin. It was quite an intimate position. But pretty soon, he started to relax into the hold. Eventually, he went limp and let out a soft sigh as he relaxed against Louis. 

“I’m so sorry,” Louis murmured softly, his voice shaking a little. Harry didn’t know what he was sorry for, but he was barely even listening. “I’m so so sorry.”

They stayed like that for a long time. Harry didn’t even know how long they were sitting together on the ground. All he knew was that the comfort was really helping him. His breath started evening out and the tears slowed to a stop. He didn’t even care that it was Louis that he was hugging. All he cared about was that he wasn’t letting go anytime soon. 

Harry felt his eyes getting heavier and heavier, and he suddenly realized how tired he was. He hadn’t slept properly in days, and was definitely feeling the effects of it now. His eyes felt like they weighed twenty pounds each, and his head had dropped onto Louis’ shoulder. 

He tried to fight off the sleep. ‘ _ Don’t sleep, don’t sleep, don’t sleep,’  _ his mind chanted, but it was no use. The sleep was creeping up on him and his mind was starting to go hazy. 

“You can sleep, Haz,” Louis murmured in his ear. His voice was so soft and soothing, like honey. It only made Harry feel even more tired. “Go to sleep, love.”   
  


_ ‘Don’t call me that,’  _ his mind thought hazily. ‘ _ You don’t love me.’ _

That was the last thing he remembered before everything went black. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all so amazing. This fandom is the best and nothing can convince be otherwise. Your comments are so amazing (keep it up!)
> 
> Once again, I love you all from the bottom of my heart and I love hearing from you ❤️

Harry stirred awake, very confused. He didn’t remember dozing off, and he was a little alarmed to realize that he had fallen asleep during the day. He never ever fell asleep during the day unless he completely crashed after not sleeping for days. So that alone was strange enough. 

The next thing that was kind of strange was that his body was curled up against someone else. It obviously wasn’t one of the twins, since this person was much bigger than them. This person was clearly an adult. And the body felt oddly familiar against Harry’s. 

At first he just brushed it off, because the only person he could ever imagine himself curled up with like this was Niall. But after a long moment, he slowly came to realize that it wasn’t, in fact, Niall that he was curled around, but someone else. That thought alone woke Harry up more than anything. He racked his brain for who it could be. 

The events of the day slowly came back to Harry, and his eyes widened.  _ Louis.  _ It was  _ Louis _ that he was curled up against. It was  _ Louis’ _ hand that was running through his unruly curly hair. It was  _ Louis’ _ arm that was draped over his shoulder. He was literally asleep, tucked comfortably into Louis’ side. 

Trying his best not to stir and let his awake-ness be known, the singer opened his eyes. Sure enough, it was Louis that he was cuddled up to. He could see the man sitting comfortably on the couch, one of his arms wrapped securely around Harry’s thin shoulders and his hand resting in hair and playing with his curls. The other arm was by his side, holding onto the TV remote. 

Looking over, Harry saw that he was watching the first season of Grey’s Anatomy. His eyes were trained on the TV, and the volume was turned down so low that it was nearly muted. He seemed fully absorbed by the show that he didn’t realize that Harry was awake. 

Trying his best to act like he was still asleep, Harry took a moment to look at Louis- to  _ really  _ look at him. The man had changed a lot since five years ago, and it was noticeable. He looked only a little older, the wrinkles that only appeared when he smiled were more pronounced. His stubble was a lot thicker, and was more of a beard then stubble now. 

And his eyes- oh god- his eyes were the same. They were the exact same shade of beautiful blue that Harry had fallen in love with. The prettiest eyes he had ever seen. They were crystal blue, and always seemed to be sparkling. Unlike Harry’s, they hadn’t dulled at all. 

His body was also more pronounced. Even though Harry could’t exactly see him from his loose fitting t-shirt, he could feel his muscles from where they were pressed together. He obviously had been working out, since he looked a lot broader than before. Unlike Harry, who had just grown thinner and weaker. 

He must have shifted or something, because Louis looked down at that moment. “Haz?” He asked, glancing downwards towards Harry’s face. Harry then snapped his eyes shut again and pretended to just be starting to stir. It was better than being caught blatantly staring. 

“Hmm…” he groaned softly, stirring a little as he pretended to just be waking up. He opened his eyes, blinking groggily as he got up. He sat back up, but didn’t bother moving away from Louis’ side. He didn’t know why. “Louis?”

Louis’ face softened as he watched the younger man start to wake up. “Hey,” he said softly, turning the volume all the way on the TV, but not turning it off. “How’re you doing?”

“‘M good,” Harry mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly with his sweater paws, looking like a kitten. He blinked groggily around the room, trying to wake himself up again. He didn’t see any sign of a four year old in sight. “Where are Allie and Robbie?”

“They’re still sleeping. You were only out for twenty minutes,” explained Louis gently, never taking his arm off from where it was resting on top of Harry’s shoulders. “Are you hungry or anything? Zayn said you didn’t eat anything at the coffee shop.”

Harry didn’t even bother commenting on the fact that Louis bothered to ask Zayn whether or not he ate. Instead, he just shook his head. “‘M not hungry,” he answered quietly, his fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of the oversized hoodie that was hanging off his shoulders. 

“Okay then,” Louis said slowly, deciding not to comment on Harry’s lack of eating. He wanted to protest, Harry could tell. But he seemed to think better of it, and just nodded. “Well then, are you thirsty? Tired? Cold? Hot?”

“I’m fine,” insisted Harry, leaning back into the cushions. “But, uh, can you just…”  _ Stay _ . That’s what he wanted to ask. If Louis could just stay with him for a little while longer. So that he wouldn’t have to be all alone again. 

_ ‘Louis doesn’t want to be here,’  _ the voice in his head sneered at him. ‘ _ He has a girlfriend now. One that he actually loves. Why would he want to stay here with you? Why would anyone ever want to be around you?’ _

The voice was right. He was being pathetic asking Louis to stay with him. So he just snapped his mouth shut again, cutting the sentence off short. Louis would never want to stay with him. He was just going to embarrass himself by asking. 

“Just what?” Louis prompted. When he didn’t get an answer, he nudged the man next to him. “Harry, can I just what?”

“Nevermind,” Harry said quickly, curling in on himself even more. “It’s stupid. Just forget I said anything.”

“Hey, don’t do that,” The older said, ducking his head to look Harry in the eyes. And as much as he wanted to, Harry couldn’t help but make eye contact with those crystal blue orbs. “It’s not stupid. Just tell me what you were going to say, and don’t say that it’s stupid.”

“It is though,” Harry mumbled, squeezing his legs tighter around himself. “It doesn’t matter. Just forget I said anything.”

But Louis wasn’t ever one to give up easily. Ever so gently, he reached down and grasped Harry’s chin with his fingers, tipping his head up to look him in the eyes. Louis then studied his face sadly, taking in the brokenness reflecting in his eyes. 

“You’re not very good at asking for the things you need, are you?” He murmured softly. It was a rhetorical question, which was good because Harry didn’t have an answer. “Come on, Harry. I know you better than this. Just tell me what you need, please?”

The please was what got him to break. He looked up, his eyes wide and vulnerable. “Can you…” he asked meekly, hating the sound of his own broken voice. “Can you… um… stay… for a little while? Please?”

“Of course,” Louis answered immediately, not even having to think about the anwer. “I can stay as long as you need me to.”

“You don’t have to,” Harry said hastily, looking up with wide eyes. “You really don’t have to stay. I know you probably don’t want to, because I’m- well- me. And I know that there’s a million other things you’d rather do, like go back to your house and be with Eleanor, so you really don’t have to stay. I know I wouldn’t if I were you…”

Louis moved to cup Harry’s face, effectively cutting him off. “No, don’t do that. Stop thinking you’re not worth it, Harry,” he said sternly, but his face looked like someone had just shattered his heart. “I said that I want to stay, and I do. I’m gonna stay until you make me leave.”

“But… what about Eleanor?” Harry asked, hating the words that came out of his mouth, but he had to ask it. He knew that, for one, Eleanro was probably expecting him back soon and two, he probably  _ wanted  _ to go back to her. Why would he ever stay with Harry when Eleanor wanted him as well?

Louis just furrowed his brow. “What about her?” He asked in confusion. 

“Doesn’t she… doesn’t she want you back now?” Harry asked meekly, feeling bile rising back up in his throat as the words left his mouth. 

But Louis just looked more and more confused. “Why would she want me back?” He asked. “She doesn’t care where I am. Why would she care?”

_ Because you’re dating. Because she loves you. And because you love her.  _

“Nevermind,” Harry mumbled hastily, closing his eyes for a second as those thoughts plagued his mind. “Can we just stop talking about her? I can’t… I can’t do this.”

Louis looked at him in alarm, feeling his breath start to pick up. “Yeah, yeah we can stop talking about it. We don’t have to talk at all if you don’t want to,” he said quickly, his eyes wide. “Just calm down, yeah? C’mere.”

Harry just blinked at him dumbly when Louis held his arms open. “What are you doing?” He asked with a small frown on his face, his gaze flickering down to his outstretched arms with confusion. 

“I said, c’mere,” Louis said, still holding his arms out. “I don’t care if you hate me, but you need a hug right now. So come here.”

Harry hesitated, eyeing Louis for any sign of dishonesty. A sign that he really didn’t want Harry to move into the hug or a sign of discomfort. But all he saw was earnestness reflecting on his face, his arms patiently outstretched. So, tentatively, Harry shifted into the hug, letting his body start to melt against Louis’. As he did, the older man wrapped his own arms around him, pulling him in close but not too tightly so that Harry still had some space. 

“You don’t do this nearly enough, do you?” Louis asked softly, his chest vibrating against where Harry’s face was pushed against it. 

He shook his head. He didn’t get nearly enough hugs. The only time he did was when he had a panic attack and it was from Niall. The rest of the time, nobody else seemed to be able to read him enough to know when he needed physical comfort. Niall tried, he did. But he just didn’t ever know when Harry needed a hug, and Harry didn’t dare ask for one. The other times, it was him who was having to give the comfort to Allie and Robbie, never getting any for himself. 

He didn’t even realize that he was watching the TV until Louis pointed it out. “You like this show, don’t you?” He asked. 

“Mhm,” hummed Harry quietly, leaning into the hug as they both continued to watch the show. “Niall and I are on the seventh season.”

“Oh, so you must know what’s going on here. I’ve been watching it, but I can’t figure out what’s going on with the intense one,” Louis grumbled, motioning to the screen as he turned up the volume on the TV so that it was still quiet, but they could hear it. 

Harry squinted at the TV, instantly recognizing the episode. “Oh, that’s Christina,” he mumbled. “And she’s just going through some of her shit. She just found out that she’s pregnant with one of the attending’s baby.”

He heard Louis swallow thickly. “Oh,” he said, his voice sounding strange. “She, um, she looks like she’s, uh, having a rough time with it.”

“Well, duh. That’s what it feels like,” Harry snapped, and they both knew that he wasn’t really talking about the show anymore. 

“Harry…” Louis started. 

“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about this now,” Harry snapped. “We can talk about it another time. But can’t we just… sit here without having to talk?”

Louis sighed softly. “Okay, Harry,” he mumbled quietly. 

***

“DADDY!” The voice of Allie screeched from the top of the stairs. Harry jumped at the sound of it, finding that he had started to doze off again. He looked up, seeing that Grey’s was still playing on the TV, and that Louis was still sitting on the couch, practically spooning him. He was also asleep. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Robbie joined in. 

_ ‘Great,’  _ Harry thought grimly to himself. ‘ _ They’re both up.’  _ He knew that that meant that it was back to work for him, any relaxing probably gone for the next week. 

He heard the sound of both of them bounding down the stairs, making no effort whatsoever to be quiet. They just ran down as fast as they could, not caring if they made a ton of noise in the process. They were awake and refilled with a bunch of new four year old energy. 

Harry swore quietly when Louis started to stir in his sleep. He knew that Louis was quite a deep sleeper, he always had been, but if the twins kept this up he was bound to awaken. Harry just had to get to his loud children before they could make any more noise. 

He tried his best to untangle their mixed limbs without jostling the other man too much. Somehow they had started hugging, and ended up full on cuddling on the couch. It mortified Harry slightly, but he was just grateful he got up before Louis did, or else he didn’t know what he would have done. 

He was in the middle of untangling their arms from each other when the twins ran into the room, both of them looking wide awake and full of energy. “Hi daddy!” Chirped Allie loudly, causing Louis to stir a little more, a small groan escaping his mouth. 

“Allie, please be quiet. Lou is still sleeping,” Harry hissed urgently, practically begging the girl to be quiet. He then looked back over at Louis, who seemed to have nodded off again, much to his relief. 

Robbie also skipped over to them, stopping and frowning when he saw Louis. “Daddy?” He asked, furrowing his brow. “Why’s you and Lou snugglin’?”

Harry blushed red. “We weren’t snuggling Robbie. We just fell asleep,” he lied, removing himself out of Louis’ hold. 

As if to prove him wrong, another small groan escaped Louis’ lips. His face scrunched up in his sleep, and his arms waved around floppily, searching for the other man. “Harry… come back…” he groaned, his arms successfully finding Harry’s waist. Without warning, his arms were wrapping around him and yanking Harry back against his chest. 

“Oof,” grunted Harry when he fell backwards again, horrified to see Louis nuzzling the back of his neck, a content expression on his face. He blushed even harder, and started pushing himself back up again. “Louis, I gotta get up,” he said anxiously. 

“Mm, Haz…” breathed Louis, continuing to cuddle up against the younger’s back. “Don’t leave, Hazza…”

Allie raised an eyebrow at that. “Daddy, that’s snugglin’,” she said as if it was obvious. “Why’s Lou still here? I thought he was goin’ home?”

Thankfully, Harry managed to untangle himself from Louis, and then pry himself away. He stood up from the couch blushing furiously. “He is going home,” he explained, ushering them out of the room. “He’s gonna go home when he wakes up. But he’s sleeping now, so please be quiet.”

“Okay daddy,” Robbie said, his voice lowering to an exaggerated whisper. “We’ll be super duper quiet!”

Harry smiled at his son tiredly at the boy, scooping him into his arms and placing him on his hip. “Thanks, love,” he said, placing a small kiss to the boy’s cheek. “Now, are you guys hungry?”

“I am!” Allie yelled, causing Louis to snort in his sleep. Her eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth. “Whoopsies! I mean, I am!” She whispered much quieter. 

Harry just smiled fondly at her, grabbing one of her hands with his free one and walking over towards the kitchen. “Okay, let's go see what we have for dinner then,” he said, leading them away. 

Well, turns out that they didn’t have much. The fridge was nearly empty with essential meal-preparing ingredients. Apparently Niall has once again raided their fridge and taken a bunch of stuff. Harry would have to go grocery shopping soon. 

“Well…” he said with a small frown as he rummaged around in his fridge. “It doesn’t look like we have anything to eat in here…”

“We hafta go shopping?” Robbie asked cutely, cocking his head to the side from where he was already sitting at the table. 

“No, it’s too late to go grocery shopping. I’ll have to do that tomorrow morning,” Harry mumbled, his eyes narrowing as he closed the fridge again. “Hmm… what else could we do?”

Harry looked down when he felt someone tugging at his pant leg. He looked down to see Allie looking back up at him, her green eyes wide. “Can we get pizza, daddy?” She begged. 

“Yeah, yeah! Pizza!” Clapped Robbie, getting excited. “I wanna get pizza. Please, daddy?”

And yes, his children were pizza lovers. They certainly didn’t get that from Harry, who literally only ate pizza if it was thin crusted, vegan and loaded with vegetables. That was one thing they had inherited from Louis, who used to eat pizza once a week. 

Harry wanted to say no. He wanted to say that they could eat something healthy instead. He wanted to say that pizza was only for special occasions. 

But the twins were both looking at him pleasingly, their bright, innocent eyes looking up at him. And they were so excited and they had been so good recently, that really how was Harry supposed to say no to that? That’s right, he couldn’t. 

“Alright, fine. We’ll get pizza,” he said, giving in. “But only because you two have been so good recently and deserve a little treat.”

They immediately got excited about that. “Yay!” They both screamed at the same time, the quietness completely forgotten. And by the time Harry tried to shush them, it was too late. 

He heard Louis snort again in his sleep, but this time he didn’t fall back to sleep again. He sat up on the couch, rubbing his face and blinking around groggily. “Harry?” He asked, his voice hoarse from sleep. 

Harry grimaced. “Sorry,” he called, wincing a little knowing how Louis hated to be woken up when he was asleep. “I tried to get them to be quieter; but I guess that didn’t really work.”

Louis shrugged, stumbling into the kitchen. And oh lordie, he looked so good. Harry always found him to be incredibly attractive when he woke up. He would be extra scruffy looking and rumpled and sometimes (if he was lucky) his shirt would even be riding up, exposing some skin. And it always made Harry feel especially tingly on the inside. 

He walked into the kitchen, waving off the younger man’s concern. “It’s fine, I was basically awake anyway,” he mumbled, though they both knew he was lying. “I see the two little rugrats are up.”

“Sorry Lou,” Allie said, her eyes wide and guilty as she looked up at Louis. “We didn’t mean to wake you up. We just got a lil loud cos of the pizza.”

Louis just smiled softly at her, bending down to tuck one of her loose curls behind her ears. “That’s alright, Princess,” he cooed. “Pizza is always a good reason to get excited.”

Robbie’s eyes widened. “You like pizza too?” He asked, his eyes going wide in shock. 

Louis barked out a laugh. “Of course I like pizza! I LOVE pizza!” He exclaimed cheerfully. “And everyone loves pizza unless you’re crazy!”

That, of course, caused both four year olds to start giggling. “Daddy doesn’t love pizza! Is daddy crazy?” Robbie asked, his eyes shining with happiness. 

Louis cast Harry a sideways look, flashing him a small smile. “Yeah,” he teased, his eyes glinting playfully. “I reckon your daddy’s a little crazy.”

“You wanna stay for pizza, Lou?” Allie asked excitedly, hopping along on the ground in excitement. “Daddy, can Lou stay for pizza? Please? He loves it!”

Harry swallowed. Of course the one time his daughter decided to be hospitable it was when Louis was around. But for some reason, he didn’t actually seem to mind it. He looked up at Louis, shrugging. “If he wants to,” he answered simply. 

That just made Allie even more excited. She bounded over to Louis, nearly trampling him as she jumped onto him. “Stay Lou! Please please please stay!” She exclaimed, latching onto the man 

“Oof,” Louis grunted, wrapping his arms around the small girl as she grabbed onto his neck. “You’re gonna knock me over, Allie!”

“‘M not letting go ‘til you say you’re gonna stay for pizza,” Allie said stubbornly, gripping onto Louis like a vice. “Please please please stay, Lou!”

Louis just smiled at her, before looking up at Harry. He mouthed, ‘you sure?’ Harry just shrugged his shoulders in response, before mouth back, ‘sure.’

“Well, alright then. If you insist,” Louis said teasing to the girl, exaggerating. “I guess I can stay for pizza!”

“YAY!” The twins shouted in unison, hopping up and down in excitement. They had never ending energy, and Louis just seemed to be realizing that now. “YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!”

Harry just smiled softly at them. He always liked when they got excited over something. And he would always do whatever he could to make them look that happy, even if it meant inviting his ex over for pizza. Anything for his babies. 

“Alright loves, I gotta call the pizza place so you gotta be quiet, ‘Kay?” Harry said, ruffling the tops of their heads. They stopped jumping and looked up at him. 

“Oki doki, daddy!” Robbie chirped obediently, flashing his father a toothy grin. “We be quiet now.”

Harry ruffled his hair again. “Thanks love,” he said, pulling out his phone and dialing the pizza place number. They picked up on the third ring. 

_ “Hello, LA Pizza, what can I get for you?”  _ The employee on the other end asked. 

“Hi, can we get a medium pepperoni pizza?” Harry said politely. “It’s for delivery at 28 Quaker Lane.”

“ _ Yes, we’ll get on that right away. Can I get a name for that order?” _

“Uh,” Harry though. Obviously he used a fake name. He couldn’t have random people finding out where he lived. “It’s, uh, Kevin.”

“ _ Great. We’ll have it ready soon. Is that all for tonight?” _

Louis suddenly appeared at his elbow. He nudged Harry to get his attention. “You don’t like that kind of pizza,” he whispered so that the couldn’t hear. 

“I’m not hungry,” Harry hissed back easily, covering the receiver with his hand. “And yes, that’s all for tonight.”

“No it’s not!” Louis yelled, grabbing the phone and pulling it out of Harry's hand and pressing it to his own ear, much to the younger's annoyance. “We’ll actually get one more pizza. We want a vegan pizza with as thin as a crust as you can make. And just make it healthy, and that’ll be good enough.. yes… that’s it… thank you.”

Louis then hung up the phone and passed it back to Harry, looking triumphant. Harry just frowned at him. 

“I said I wasn’t hungry,” he argued with a frown. 

“But you gotta eat,” Louis reminded him, his gaze turning serious. “You didn’t eat lunch, so you’re gonna eat this. End of discussion.”

Harry just rolled his eyes, knowing that this was a fight he wasn’t going to win. He just huffed and took his phone back, tucking it into his pocket again. 

“Are you mad at me for ordering you a pizza?” Louis asked, leaning closer toward Harry. “C’mon Haz, I’m not a mind reader.”

“‘M not mad,” Harry grumbled a little. 

Louis nodded. “Alright, are you gonna eat the pizza?” 

“Yes, Louis,” the man huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ll eat the pizza.” 

At that, Louis smiled “Good lad,” he praised as he walked by, patting him affectionately on the head. 

Harry couldn’t help but preen at that. Well, if that was what happened when you ate an actual meal, Harry might start eating more often. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... here’s another chapter!! I just wanted to say thank you so everyone who has been commenting on my past chapters, it means a lot. Comments are literally my favourite, so if you leave one, I promise to respond :)

“Allie, stop yelling, we’re not getting Oreos,” Harry hissed quietly to the girl, taking the box out of the four year old’s hand. 

Allie just pouted even more, his hands still gripping onto the box as tight as she can. “But we never have oreos!” She whined. “I wanna get Oreos!”

Harry could feel the other people in the grocery store turn around and start looking at him. He just sighed tiredly, kneeling down so that he was level with the girl. “Allie,” he said sternly, his expression serious. “Don’t tell in the store.”

“But I want them, daddy!” She exclaimed stubbornly, hugging the blue box tightly to her chest. She was clearly starting to throw a fit, which wasn’t something Harry needed right now. 

He was trying to just go shopping, but he had had to bring the twins with him. He usually brought them, since it wasn’t ever a busy store and he was never spotted there, and it was just easier than finding a sitter. So he had brought them along this time, but it was proving to be quite difficult. Neither of them seemed to be in a good mood today. 

He didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was because they had napped for so long the night before and hadn’t been able to fall asleep until late. And, not that he blamed Louis, but that had really screwed up their sleep schedule. And left Harry with two miserable four year olds. 

“Allison Tomlinson,” Harry scolded, his frown deepening. He could tell that the other shoppers could clearly hear them, and were watching it go down. “Do not throw a fit in the store. And do not yell.”

“I want them,” the girl pouted, unfazed by Harry’s scolding. 

“We have cookies at home. Remember, those chocolate chip ones that uncle Niall bought?” He reminded her, attempting to pry the box out of her small, grabby hands. “Allie, let go now.”

Finally, the four year old groaned, stomping her foot on the ground. “This isn’t fair!” She exclaimed, her pout reappearing on her face. “I want the cookie! I want oreos!”

“Keep that up and you won’t be getting any of the cookies,” Harry said sternly, successfully taking the oreo box away from her and placing them back down on the shelf. “And you better believe that you’re gonna be in big trouble if you don’t chill out.”

The little girl just huffed, crossing her thin arms over her chest. “You’re no fair, daddy,” she grumbled, angry. 

Harry just rolled his eyes. He was used to the small girl becoming angry whenever she was over tired or just in a mood. And usually that ended up with her snapping. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled to himself. “Now, are you gonna go sit back in the cart or are you gonna walk?”

“Cart,” Allie muttered, her face still drawn into a tight frown. Harry just nodded, lifting her up by the armpit and plunking her down into the cart beside her brother. 

Robbie wasn’t like his sister at all when he was overtired. Where Allie would get agitated and angry easily, Robbie would just become emotional. He would be very sensitive and would cry a lot. Harry didn’t know which was worse. Already, he was sitting in the cart, sniffling for no reason. 

“Daddy, I want cookies too,” Robbie whimpered pathetically, his nose already producing a ton of snot for someone as small as he was. 

“We have cookies at home,” Harry answered shortly. “And you can both have one if you promise to be good for the rest of the day.”

But the twins decided that they were not going to do that. Just like everything in Harry’s life, they decided to make it so much more difficult than it had to be, and decided to become little nightmares instead of being good. 

They strolled down the aisles, Harry feeling more and more stressed by the minute. His patience was already running low with the twins, who had decided it was their mission to make this grocery trip a living nightmare for him. So far, there had been three tempers tantrums about cookies, a meltdown about all the ‘cool’ carts being gone, and countless fights over several different food items. 

Harry was beyond tired of it, and they weren’t even halfway through the list of things they needed to get. This was definitely going to be a long grocery trip, for everyone. 

“Daddy, the phone’s buzzing,” Allie said, cutting into her father’s thoughts. She pointed at Harry’s phone, which was in the cart with her. 

Harry groaned quietly. He wanted to ignore the call, since it was just one more thing he had to do, but he figured it might be important. It might even be Syco calling about the song he had to choose in two days. So he reached over and picked up the phone. 

“Hello?” He asked, running a hand through his hair tiredly. 

Much to his surprise, it wasn’t Syco. “ _ Hey baby bro,”  _ Gemma greeted on the phone. 

Harry brightened up at hearing her voice. “Hey Gems!” He said happily, pressing the phone close to his ear. “What’s up?”

_ “Maybe I should be the one asking you that. I’ve been trying to reach you for a little while now. I even showed up at your house, but no one was there. You just sorta disappeared off the grid last week,”  _ Gemma said. 

The man mentally slapped himself. He had seen that Gemma had been trying to reach him while he was away, but he had forgotten to call her back. Apparently he had also forgotten to tell her that he had gone to London. “Ah, sorry about that,” he said with a grimace. “I guess I forgot to tell you. The kids and I went to mum and Robin’s place for a few days. Sorry.”

_ “It’s fine, H. I called Niall when you stopped answering my calls,”  _ his sister commented.  _ “But why were you all the way in London?” _

Harry then proceeded to explain to her all that had happened. From the disastrous meeting at Liam’s, to his breakdown. She seemed shocked by that, and then proceeded to gush about how guilty she felt that she hadn’t been able to watch them that day. But Harry had told her that it was fine, since the twins got a chance to meet Bear and have some fun. 

He then told her all about the meeting that had just happened and how he needed to choose a song to put on the album. 

_ “Kiwi,”  _ Gemma said almost instantly, as soon as Harry finished telling her about the meeting. 

Harry was a little surprised about how quick she had been to respond. “Kiwi?” He repeated, furrowing his brows. “Why Kiwi?”

_ “It would be such a power move, Haz!”  _ The woman exclaimed. “ _ You basically wrote that song about being pregnant. The main chorus is ‘I’m having your baby, it’s none of your business.’ Imagine performing that on stage! That would literally be the biggest thing ever. Plus it would totally piss Louis off.” _

Harry could see himself dancing around to that song. It  _ would  _ be a power move, but not one that Harry pictured himself making. “I don’t know…” he mumbled with a small grimace. “I don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do…”

_ “What do you mean? Aren’t you trying to, like, make a statement? It would piss Louis off, and isn’t that what you want to do?”  _ She continued, and Harry could hear the confusion in her voice. 

The twenty four year old sighed heavily. “It’s what I  _ wanted  _ to do. I don’t… I just don’t think that song is the best choice. For anyone,’ he finished lamely. “And I’m not trying to piss Louis off anymore. It’s just been different since last time we called.”

Now he could clearly hear the confusion in his sister’s voice. “ _ How’s it different?”  _ She demanded.  _ “Harry, what happened? There’s something you’re not telling me.” _

Harry sighed again. He didn’t really want to do this, but lying to Gemma was always something he could never do. She could just read him better than anyone else… well, better than  _ almost  _ anyone else. “So, you know the meeting?” Harry started. “Well… something happened there that I didn’t really mention…”

_ “What happened?”  _ Gemma pressed, sounding concerned. “ _ Are you okay? Did something bad happen to you? Did someone do something?” _

“Remember what happened with Zayn at Liam’s house?” He could hear Gemma nodding. “Well, Syco wants us to announce the reunion soon, starting with rumors. So they’re getting us to be seen out in public together on purpose to start the rumors.”

_ “Yeah? I saw an article about you and Zayn out together, but I didn’t look into it because I just assumed it was fake,”  _ Gemma hummed thoughtfully.  _ “So it was real?” _

“It was real,” mumbled Harry, running his free hand through his hair. “Zayn and I went out to a coffee shop and got papped there together. I guess it worked if there are already articles about it…”

_ “But I’m assuming it didn’t go well, did it?”  _ Gemma continued, picking up on the fact that the twenty four year old wasn’t telling her everything. She could always tell.

Harry let out a harsh laugh. “You could say that.”

_ “What happened?” _ __   
  


“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said shortly. He wasn’t about to have a deep heart-to-heart with his sister on the phone in the middle of the grocery store. Especially when Allie and Robbie were right there. “But, uh, after that I went home and was not in a good mood. I don’t even know what happened. I guess it was because I was so close to freaking out again that I just lost it when I saw Louis sitting on the couch-”

He was cut off by a sudden growl coming from the other end of the line.  _ “Why was Louis sitting on your couch?”  _ Gemma snapped. “ _ Was he there to give you shit? I swear I’ll rip his head off.” _

“No, Gemma. He wasn’t there to give me shit, he was watching the twins while I was out. Calm down,” Harry said, rolling his eyes. Gemma had always been the crazy overprotective sister to him, and used to threaten anyone who would even look sideways at Harry when they were younger. And the protectiveness never really went away even as they got older. It was sometimes annoying, but it was nice to know that she cared. 

_ “Oh…”  _ the woman hummed, sounding a little confused. “ _ He was watching the twins? Why?”  _

“Yes Gemma, he was watching them because I asked him to. He wants to be there for them now, so I’m kinda letting him in a little. Just to be around them a little bit. He deserves that at least,” the man explained quietly so that the two kids in the cart didn’t hear anything. “Just small things, like watching them every one in a while. It’s the least I can do.”

He heard Gemma sigh from the other end of the phone.  _ “Alright, H, as long as what you’re doing isn’t too much for you. Just be careful with how much you let him in,”  _ she said warningly. 

“I will.”

_ “Good. As long as you’re sure you’re letting him in for the right reasons. Now, what were you saying?” _

Oh right, he was in the middle of telling her about what happened last night.  _ As long as you’re sure you’re letting him in for the right reasons…  _ what did Gemma mean by that? What was she implying by that? Harry didn’t know, but he suddenly decided he didn’t want to know. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he said hastily, shifting his phone to the other hand as he grabbed a box of cereal from the shelf. “Listen, I’m just at the store with Allie and Robbie now. Can I call you later?”

_ “Yeah, sure,”  _ his sister said easily, dropping the subject easily. “ _ Call me later. And make sure you think of a song to pick, even if you don’t pick Kiwi. Oh, and say hi to the twins for me.” _

With that, Harry hung the phone up. He loved his sister to death, they had always been incredibly close when they were younger and had always been. But sometimes she said things that Harry didn’t know what she meant. And he didn’t like those times. Which was why Harry decided not to tell her about how Louis had ended up staying most of the night at his house, cuddled up on the couch and binge watching the first season of Grey’s Anatomy. It was just easier not to tell her and have to explain himself than to just not say anything. 

He was in the middle of looking at the list of groceries on his phone, while trying to push the cart at the same time, when it happened. He had been looking intently at the list, trying to figure out where he was going to find the non-processed meats, when the front of the cart banged into something hard. He grunted when the cart jolted forward.

“Ouchie, daddy!” Squealed Allie, both of them being flinching as he hit the second cart. Harry also jumped at the impact, dropping his phone in the process. The phone landed on the hard ground clattering while the two four year olds yelped at the impact.

Harry’s head snapped up, his eyes wide in shock. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he stammered quickly realizing that it had, in fact, been a different shopper that he had banged into. Behind the cart was a lady. “Are you okay?” He asked in concern. 

His eyes grew even wider when the other person looked up as well, realizing that it was none other than Gigi Hadid. Zayn’s girlfriend. “No, no. it was my fault. I should have been…” her voice trailed off as she finally looked up. Her eyes widened in realization as they locked onto Harry’s equally surprised green orbs. “... Harry?”

“Gigi!” Harry exclaimed, his face breaking into a big smile. “I can’t believe it’s you! It’s been forever!”

“Oh my god, Harry!” Gigi squealed, a giant smile appearing on her face. She went rushing from behind her cart and over to Harry, throwing her arms open wide. Without another warning, she was grabbing him into a giant hug, squeezing the breath out of him. 

Harry felt the air leave his lungs as the woman squeezed him. Gigi was actually surprisingly strong for such a petite woman. You wouldn’t be able to tell by just looking at her, but she had a mean grip. 

“What are you doing here?” Gigi exclaimed, finally letting go of Harry, holding him at arms’ length. “I haven’t seen you in forever! How’ve you been?”

Harry literally could not stop the giant smile that was pulling at his lips. He and Gigi had become friends before she started dating Zayn, and they had only grown closer since then. The two of them just sort of clicked, and Harry really liked hanging out with the girl. Especially going shopping with Gigi, that had always been great. 

“I’ve been great, actually,” Harry answered happily, the previous stress and tiredness long forgotten. “Kinda stressed and tired lately, but things have been alright. How’ve you been doing?”

Gigi’s smile only grew. “I’ve been amazing!” She gushed. Harry could tell from her face that she really meant it, too. “Chrissy is five now and is kind of a handful, but she’s so good. And Zayn and I are engaged now, which is amazing!”

Harry’s eyes shot out of his head. “You’re engaged!?” He squeaked, instantly grabbing her hand, seeing an engagement ring perched on her finger. His eyes widened as he took in the beautiful ring with the huge diamond perched on the top. “Gi, that’s a  _ rock!” _

Gigi giggled a little, her bright smile clear on her face. “Thanks, Harry,” she said bashfully. “Z proposed two weeks ago! I’m so excited about it!”

“Congratulations!” Harry cheered, throwing his arms open when he dropped her hand again. “Now come here, I want to give you another hug!” He then pulled her into a second hug, squeezing her for all it was worth. “I’m so happy for you, Gigi!”

“Thanks so much, Harry!” The woman said, pulling away. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! And we’re just running into each other in the middle of the grocery store!”

Harry just smiled. “Crazy!” he said cheerfully. “I’ve missed you so much. We haven’t seen each other since the band split.”

The girl nodded her head up and down, hear glistening locks bobbing up and down. Her hair had gotten a lot longer since he had last seen her. “I know! I’ve missed you too! It’s been ages since we’ve been together. Oh my god, Harry, I’ve missed you so, so, so much!”

Harry nodded in agreement. He and Gigi had actually become good friends during that one year that her and Zayn started dating and Zayn had been in the band. The two of them had instantly bonded and Harry had missed her during that time that they hadn’t seen each other. How long had it even been? Five years? Six years? It was too long. 

Gigi had obviously changed as well. She seemed to have grown taller and had been working out. Her muscles were more defined and she seemed to be thinner. But she was just as beautiful as she had always been. 

Harry had almost forgotten about the two four year olds that were sitting in his cart until he heard the sound of whining. “Daddy,” pouted Allie, kicking her legs around as she tried to get attention. “Daddy! Who’s dat?”

And then Harry’s eyes widened. The twins were there. And so was Gigi. His head shot over to her in horror, waiting with baited breath for what she would say. Would she be angry? Disgusted? 

He swallowed thickly. “Well.. erm… this is… um… this is Gigi,” he fumbled nervously, casting his eyes sideways to get a look at the woman next to him. He expected to see some angered emotion flash over her face, but it never came. Instead, her eyes immediately lit up. 

“Well hello there!” She said brightly, already moving over towards them, a gentle smile on her face. “And you must be Allie and Robbie. I’ve heard a lot about you two darlings!”

Robbie’s eyes widened a little at the woman he had never met. He looked nervous already, staring at her with wide, glarry blue eyes. “‘Bout me?” He asked anxiously, staring unblinkingly at her. 

Gigi just nodded her head again. “Of course about you,” she cooed, reaching over to run a hand through the boy’s light brown, feathery hair affectionately. “And you two are the cutest things ever!” She then turned to Harry, smiling brightly. “They look like angels!” She whispered.

And Harry was definitely surprised by that, though really he shouldn’t have been. He should have known that Zayn would have told Gigi about the twins already, so really he should have expected her to know. But he definitely didn’t expect her to be so… sweet about it. She was practically cooing at the twins, so judgement in her eyes at all. She was just looking at them sweetly. And that had been the best reaction he had gotten from them, probably ever. It made his heart swell. 

“Yeah,” he mumbled affectionately, his eyes staring lovingly at the two kids. “They’re pretty perfect.”

Allie wasn’t fussing anymore. She was just staring at Gigi with wide eyes, her mouth parted open ever so slightly. “You’re really pretty,” she mumbled, bringing her hair up to latch onto a lock of Gigi’s golden hair in awe. 

“Allie, don’t grab, please,” Harry admonished the girl gently, reaching over to detangle her small fingers from Gigi’s hair apologetically. But Gigi just laughed a little, her voice ringing out merrily. 

“Why thank you, sweetie!” The model said cheerfully, smiling brightly at the little girl. “And you are very pretty too! I love your curly hair, it’s very nice.”

“‘S like daddy!” The small girl exclaimed, pointing excitedly at Harry’s hair, showing the similarities between their hair. Their curls were practically matching, though Allie’s were now much longer ever since Harry cut his hair shorter. 

“That’s right, just like your daddy’s!” Gigi nodded, chuckling at the girl. 

Robbie apparently felt a little left out, since he was quick to tug at his own hair. “Lookie at me!” He spoke up, pointing at his own hair. “Lookie, I got hair too!”

Gigi then looked at him, and she smiled even more. “Yes you do, and it’s very nice as well!” She said happily, ruffling his hair again. Robbie nodded, his own eyes lighting up as well. Gigi just smiled adoringly at him. 

“Thank you,” Robbie said, smiling a little. It was literally the cutest thing ever to grace the earth. 

Gigi then stood up, turning to face Harry again. “They’re the cutest!” She gushed. “I’m sure Christle would love to meet them.”

Now that was an idea. From what he could pick up, Gigi and Zayn’s little girl was the sweetest little thing. Or, at least, that was what he had heard from Liam. “That would be great,” Harry said brightly, already getting excited over the idea. “They’ve met Bear already and really loved him, I’m sure they would love to meet Christle as well! We should set that up.”

“Come over in two days,” Gigi blurted out, her eyes widening. “Z and I are having Liam over for dinner then. You should come over with the twins so that they can all play together! And we can invite Niall and Louis to come along as well.”

Harry blinked in surprise by the spontaneous offer. “Dinner?” He asked dumbly, blinking a few times. “Like, on Tuesday? In two days?”

“Sure, why not?” Gigi exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “This would be so much fun! I’ve been dying to see you again, and this is the perfect chance to drink wine and dine together! Come on, Harry, please say you’ll come!”

And really, how was Harry supposed to say no to that? Seriously, how? Because his stomach erupted into knots at the mention of stepping foot into Zayn’s house after the past few disastrous encounters between the two of them. And having dinner with him AND Louis seemed like a recipe for disaster. 

But at the same time, Allie and Robbie practically lit up at the idea of it. They had been asking about seeing Bear again, and Harry just knew that they would love to meet Christle. Plus, he really did want to meet up with Gigi again after not seeing her for so long. He was torn in between the two options, of what he wanted to do and what he didn’t want to do. 

But in the end, it was easy. He wasn’t going to let Zayn and Louis ruin a fun time for him. 

“I’d love to come,” he answered finally, looking up at Gigi with a small, nervous smile. His stomach was still twisting in knots, but he managed to swallow them down. Plus, Allie and Robbie giggling in excitement helped a lot. 

Gigi’s face broke into a huge smile. “Yay!” She shrieked, pulling Harry into another hug. “I’m so excited, this is going to be so much fun! I’ll send you the details and stuff soon.”

Harry forced a shaky smile onto his face. “Great,” he said. 

“Great! I gotta run now, but we’ll talk soon! Bye Harry, bye sweeties!” Gigi said, waving at the trio as she started walking again. “This is going to be so much fun. This is such a great idea!”

Harry was counting on it.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who’s been commenting, you guys are so amazing. Like, seriously, this fandom is the best ever and I love every single one of you. 
> 
> As promised, here’s another chapter. Hope you like it and don’t forget to leave in the comments what you think :)

Harry tapped his chin thoughtfully as he narrowed his eyes at the small slip of paper that was in front of him. The dark words were popping out of the page, almost taunting him. 

_ Golden _

_~~Cherry~~ _

_ Sign Of The Times _

~~_ Adore you _ ~~

_ Watermelon Sugar _

~~_ Kiwi _ ~~

~~_ Sweet Creature _ ~~

_ Falling _

~~_ Fine Line _ ~~

_ Lights Up _

He had narrowed down his song selection down to a few options. It had been hard, since he had made twenty two songs in total that had been released onto his two albums, and he loved each and every one of them. All of his songs were special to him in their own way, which made choosing all the more difficult. 

Somehow he had taken all his songs and narrowed it down to ten. He had his top ten songs all written down. Then he had crossed off five more. And now he was left with the final five. 

It was harder than it looked. Those songs were all so wonderful and all so different. Like, how was he supposed to compare Falling with Kiwi. They were just way too different to even compare them. And he loved them all so much. 

Naturally, he had asked his family first. His mum wanted him to pick Sweet Creature, since it was her favourite of all his songs. But ultimately he ended up crossing that one off the list. It just wasn’t a strong enough song to make the cut. 

Gemma wanted him to pick Kiwi for obvious reasons. And she did have a point, it would be a great song for throwing in Louis’ face. The lyrics ‘ _ I’m having your baby. It’s none of your business,’  _ would be pretty strong. But he didn’t think he could- or even  _ wanted _ \- to do that. So, in the end, he ended up crossing that one off as well. 

Niall then said he wanted Harry to choose Watermelon Sugar. It was upbeat and exciting, plus it had been his major song of the album. Everyone who was anyone knew Watermelon Sugar. It was soaring sky high right now. And Harry agreed that it would be a good song to choose, but a part of him was still hesitant. Because even though Watermelon Sugar was an amazing song, it wasn’t coming from his heart, which was what he wanted. 

So he was stuck. 

They all had to submit their songs tonight, which meant that it was crunch time. He needed to pick before midnight, which meant that he needed to come to a decision, and soon. Or else Syco was going to get to choose his song, which was NOT going to happen. 

Harry groaned, hitting his head against his fist repeatedly. “Ugh, why is this so hard?” He groaned. “This is stupid.”

“You know what would be stupid?” Niall said, walking out from where he had been standing in the kitchen (as he usually was). He walked forward, before plopping down on the couch next to the younger man. “If you were late to show up at Zayn and Gigi’s dinner, even though I’ve been reminding you about it for the past hour and a half.”

  
And that was another thing. Harry had to go to Zayn and Gigi’s house for dinner tonight as well. A dinner that he didn’t even want to go to in the first place, and only actually agreed to because of Gigi. Which was just one more thing he had to add to his list for the night. 

“Do I have to?” He whined, pouting up at Niall. “I don’t wanna go anymore.”

Niall just rolled his eyes. “You have to,” he answered, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You were the one who already agreed to this and roped me into going. Plus, the dinner is gonna start soon and it’s too late to cancel.”

Harry huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and slumping into the cushions. “I still don’t wanna go,” he grumbled, a frown tugging his lips downwards. As if being angry about it was going to make it better. 

“Stop being a child,” the blond man said, poking him in the stomach, causing Harry to yelp. 

“I am a child,” he muttered, his hand massaging the sore spot on his stomach where he had just been poked. “And that hurt.”   
  


Niall just rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. It wouldn’t hurt so much if you weren’t so skinny,” he said, standing up again and grabbing Harry’s arm to pull him up as well. “Now come on. We have to go to dinner soon, which means that you need to get ready.”

“But my song!” Protested Harry when his friend snatched the paper from his hand. “I need to pick one tonight and I haven’t decided yet!”

“Just pick your favourite,” answered Niall easily, dragging the younger man away from the couch. “Now come on, Hazza. We really have to go.”

But Harry wasn’t done. “I can’t just pick my favourite- I don’t have a favourite,” he argued. “I love them all and it’s just too hard to pick. I just need to sit here for a little while longer and think about it before I can even try and choose one.”

“You’ve been sitting here all evening,” Niall pointed out, still dragging the man towards the staircase. “If you haven’t chosen by now then I don’t think your plan is working. And who knows, maybe getting out of the house and seeing some different people will inspire you or something.”   
  


Harry just raised an eyebrow at him. “Inspire me?” He repeated. 

Niall just huffed, shrugging. “I don’t really know, but we have to go,” he insisted. They got to the bottom of the staircase, and Niall gave him a small shove on the back. “Now go get ready. I’ll round up Thing 1 and Thing 2 and make sure they’re ready to go. Then we can  _ finally  _ leave.”

Harry huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re the worst,” he said half heartedly to his friend. Though they both knew that it wasn’t true. He wouldn’t hate Niall, even in a million years. 

Niall just rolled his eyes, patting Harry on the head and nudging him towards the stairs. “You love me,” he answered without missing a beat. “Now move that fine ass up those stairs before they decide to eat without us. I will literally kill you in your sleep if you make us miss the food.”

And really, who was Harry to stand in between Niall and his true love. “Alright, alright,” he said, finally giving in and climbing the stairs. “But I’m doing this for you, I hope you know that!”

“And I am endlessly grateful, oh gracious Hazza,” Niall answered with a snigger, bowing his head towards the ground to be dramatic. Harry rolled his eyes, and went up the stairs towards his bedroom. 

It didn’t take long for Harry to get dressed. For some reason people assumed that it took his forever to get ready, when really it wasn’t the case. Just because he was always the best dressed and wore expensive, high fashion clothes didn’t mean he took a long time getting ready. Maybe it was his hair, since it was a lot more work when it was shorter. But now that he cut it, all he has to do is brush it back and put in a little bit of spray and he’s done. 

So he was quick to get ready. He slipped on his signature skinny jeans that he had just gotten. They were as tight as jeans came, practically painted onto his long, thin legs and making his ass look great. Just the way he liked it. They were completely white, the kind of jeans that turned heads whenever he walked into a room and made people ogle at his legs. Just the way he liked it. 

He then paired it with a yellow button up. The shirt was one of his favourites, as it had small white flowers along the shirt in a pattern. He then buttoned it up to just above his butterfly tattoo, leaving it open at the top. He then grabbed a pair of Chelsea boots and slipped them on as well. 

A quick brush of the hair later, he was giving himself the once over in the full length mirror. The jeans were tight and made and the shirt was buttoned low, plus the boots made it fashion. All in all, he nodded at himself in approval. He looked appropriate for a dinner with kids, but sexy at the same time. Perfect. 

Some might find it hard to be fashionable, kid-appropriate, casual and sexy at the same time, but he didn’t. Because he was Harry Styles and he was born to look good. 

“Harry! Come on, let’s go!” Niall’s voice hollered, carrying up the stairs. Harry rolled his eyes, checking himself out once more, before heading out. 

***

Harry pulled into the driveway of Zayn and Gigi’s house ten minutes later. It was clear that they were the last to arrive, since there were already several cars in the driveway, including Louis’ steele porsche that Harry recognized and what he guessed to be Liam’s car. 

_ ‘Oh well, better late than never,’  _ he thought grimly to himself as he unbuckled his seatbelt. 

“Alright guys, remember what he talked about on the way? About how we’re supposed to ask when we’re invited over to someone else's house?” Harry asked, turning around to look at the two kids in the backseat. 

Allie nodded proudly. “Mhm!” She hummed. “Manners n’ stuff!”

“That’s right,” Harry nodded, smiling at the little girl. “Manners are very, very important. And I want you two to be very nice to everyone there, okay?”

“We will, daddy,” Robbie said softly, nodding his head. 

“Great,” Harry said, getting out of the car and moving to help the two four year olds out as well. Niall hopped out, and then the four of them were walking up to the front door of the new house. 

Niall raised his fist and knocked on the big door three times. The conversation that could be heard from inside immediately died down, and there were footsteps walking towards the door. Harry gripped Robbie’s hand tighter unconsciously, already feeling himself start to sweat nervously. The boy looked up at him in confusion, but didn’t say anything. 

A few moments later, the doorknob turned and the door was opened. Thankfully, it was Gigi who was standing there. She was dressed in a pretty summer romper that was pink with palm trees on it. She was wearing dangling hoop earrings as well, and her long hair was drawn back into a ponytail. She looked beautiful. 

Her face lit up when she saw them. “Harry!” She exclaimed in excitement, grabbing the man into a tight hug. “I’m so happy you made it!”

“Thanks Gigi,” he said, forcing a small chuckle. He felt lighter already, some of the previous tension gone (but not all of it). “We wouldn’t miss it!” He ignored the look Niall gave him. “And we were really excited about coming. Just ran a bit behind.”

It was clearly a lie, but Gigi didn’t notice. “Oh, no problem at all!” She said easily, waving her hand. “I know how it goes with kids and stuff. Now come in, come in!”

She moved out of the doorway, opening it even more and motionning for them to step inside. They did, and Harry got a chance to have a look around the house. It was beautiful (obviously) but it was clear that they had just moved in. There were no unpacked boxes or anything, but it just looked a little less homely than an older house would have. Still, it was nice. 

“Hi Gigi!” Allie chirped happily, jumping up and down in excitement. 

Gigi looked down at her, brightening. “Hello pretty girl!” She said, bending down and scooping the four year old into her arms. “I love your pretty dress! Ooh, and your pretty hair!” She nodded at the cute little pink dress that Harry had gotten her, as well as her hair that was tucked brushed out and forming perfect ringlets that framed her face. 

“Thanks!” Allie said happily. “I like these,” she said, grabbing hold of Gigi’s large hoop earring. “‘S really pretty.”

Gigi just laughed softly, placing a small kiss to the girl’s head. “Thanks, angel,” she said. “And don’t you have the most perfect little manners!”

“Daddy teached me,” Allie informed her, nodding seriously. “Daddy said that, um, we hafta use manners at other people’s homeses. ‘Cause that’s, um, that’s what you do.”

“Your daddy is very smart,” Gigi said, casting Harry a small smile and a wink. “Now, how about we head inside. I think all the kids are in here with the grown ups. We’re going to eat soon, but then you can all go play.”

She then walked into the living room, with Allie still on her hip. Harry and Niall just shrugged at each other, before Harry grabbed Robbie’s hand and followed the woman. 

They headed into the dining room and were met by the sight of everyone already there. And really, it was everyone. Zayn, Gigi, Christle, Ollie, Liam, Bear, Louis, Freddie, Allie, Niall, Robbie and Harry. All twelve of them were there, in the huge and glamorous dining room, sitting at the huge and glamorous table. 

Harry then remembered why he had been so nervous before. 

Everyone stopped their discussion when they saw them arrive in the room. All the conversation stopped and all the heads were turned towards them. Everyone was staring now, and it made Harry feel a little uncomfortable. 

He heard Niall clear his throat. “Hey everyone!” He said, his voice sounding a lot more cheerful than Harry felt. But it was enough to ease some of the tension. 

Liam brightened up immediately. “Hey guys!” He said cheerfully, his face breaking into a huge, blinding smile. “We were starting to worry that you wouldn’t make it!”

“Good thing too, because I’m starving,” Zayn joked light heartedly, earning a few grunts of agreement. Harry could feel Zayn looking right at him, so he made a point of looking at everyone else instead. Well, everyone else but Zayn and Louis. 

Gigi then (thankfully) decided to step in. “Let’s all take a seat so that we can eat,” she said, motioning to the empty seats at the table. “I’ll go get the food.”

“Want some help, mommy?” The little girl at the table asked cutely. She looked small, but bigger than the twins. She had smooth black hair that dropped down to her shoulders as well as wide, brown eyes. She looked exactly like Zayn, but her facial features resemble Gigi as well. 

Gigi smiled adoringly at the girl, placing a small kiss to the top of her head. “No thanks, sweetie. I got it.”

“I can help,” Harry offered immediately, feeling nervous under everyone’s gaze. An escape to the kitchen actually sounded exactly what he needed right now. But Gigi clearly didn’t take the hint, just shaking her head and laughing a little. 

“Oh, no thanks, H,” she said lightly, causing Harry’s heart to sink. “You go sit down with everyone else. I got the food.”

She said it with finality, leaving no place for Harry to argue with it. So he just stood, unable to say anything while Gigi turned and walked out of the room, going straight into the kitchen. He really wanted to follow her, feeling very uncomfortable here. But then Robbie was tugging at his hand and Niall was nudging him and he was moving towards the empty seat. 

Niall took the seat next to Zayn, which was both good and bad for Harry. Good because it meant that he wouldn’t have to sit by the man, but bad because the other empty seat was next to Freddie, and two seats away from Louis. 

Not that he had anything against Freddie. He would never have anything against the little boy, because that boy didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault that Louis knocked up Briana while he and Harry were on a break. And he was only eight, and Harry could never hate an eight year old, especially when he had kids of his own. 

But still, he didn’t particularly want to sit right beside the two Tomlinsons. So, before either of his children could sit down, he scooped up Allie and placed her in between him and Freddie. Robbie took the spot between him and Niall. 

Allie didn’t even mention the sudden change in seating. Instead, she just turned over to face Freddie. “Hello,” she said with a smile. “‘M Allie.”

Freddie looked at her, giving her the once over. “Hi. I’m Freddie,” the small boy said, shooting her a smile. “And, um, this is my dad. His name’s Louis and, um, he’s famous.”

That earned a small chuckle from the table. Louis just rolled his eyes at his son, smiling fondly. Apparently, everyone was watching the exchange carefully, including Harry. He was frowning slightly, feeling his stomach twisting in knots. 

Allie just pouted a little. “Yeah, well, this is  _ my  _ daddy,” she said defensively, crossing her small arms over her chest. “And, um, he’s famous too. His name’s Harry.”

“Yeah, I know,” Freddie answered easily, leaning against his chair like it meant nothing at all. He then looked up at Harry briefly, nodding and adding, “he’s the pretty one with the green eyes.”

The table froze. Harry gaped a little, his eyes going wide. Because he had just been called pretty by Louis Tomlinson’s son. He saw Louis look mortified, nudging Freddie before Harry looked away immediately. He swallowed thickly. 

_ Who said he was the pretty one? Was it Louis? No, of course it wasn’t Louis! Louis likes Eleanor. He wouldn’t be calling Harry pretty when he was with Eleanor. He must have heard it from the fans. That must be the case.  _

Sure, Harry knew he was attractive, but he wasn’t supposed to be called pretty by an eight year old. Much less  _ Louis’  _ eight year old son. That was just… that was just ridiculous. 

Nobody else around the table seemed to know what to do either. They were just staring as well, their eyes going from Louis, to Freddie, to Harry. They were stunned. And they clearly were lost for words as well, since they weren’t saying anything. 

It was actually Allie who broke the silence. “Yeah,” she said easily, not even noticing the shirt in the room. “He is. I look like him, see? I got green eyes too.”

Freddie looked at her for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah,” he said, dropping the subject. He just went back to playing with the metal fork that was on his plate, not saying anything else. Allie also stopped talking, opting to just sit there and hum, kicking her legs back and forth. 

And Harry, for one, was mortified. He could feel everyone’s gazes on him, watching him. And he hated it. He couldn’t do this dinner. It was going to be the death of him. 

It was at that moment that Gigi waltzed in, several large pans full of good food. She was completely oblivious to the change in the atmosphere, as she proceeded to start talking loudly, scooping plates full of food one by one. Eventually, everyone went back to talking, though it was now much more awkward. 

And if Harry thought that that was bad, he was not ready for what was about to come. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! 
> 
> I just thought I’d come here and just say a few things that I feel like should be addressed before the next chapter.
> 
> First of all, everyone has different opinions. And that means that not everyone will like my story, and that is completely fine. But the comment section isn’t a platform for you to say negative things and question my mental health. Constructive criticism is great and I encourage that, I’m always looking for ways to make this story better. But if you’re just going to attack the story in the comments without any real advice, then I would kindly ask you to get lost. 
> 
> That being said, if you have any suggestions, please tell me. I always like your guys suggestions, so keep sending them! 
> 
> As always, I love each and every single one of you. Thank you so much for sticking with me and reading this story, I can’t tell you how much it means. Love you all ❤️

“So,” Liam said, clearing his throat. “How’s everyone’s week been?”

They were all sitting around the table, mid way through the meal. Everyone had their plates full off the delicious food that Gigi had made and were all eating. The conversation hadn’t really picked up since earlier, since nobody had really known what to say. It had become more and more awkward as the dinner drew on. Honestly, it was a little bit of a relief that Liam decided to break the tension. 

“Fantastic,” Niall said, answering immediately. He had a dopey expression on his face, matching his smile. “I had a fantastic week. Went on a few dates with my girlfriend.”

Gigi nearly squealed, cutting him off. “You have a girlfriend!?” She exclaimed excitedly. “Who is she? What’s her name? Does she live here in London? Does she make music? How long have you two been together? What does she do? What does she look like?”

The questions were firing rapidly out of her mouth, her face getting more and more excited. Zayn just chuckled fondly, nudging his fiancee with his elbow. “Calm down, babe,” he said gently. “He can’t answer any questions if you don’t give him the chance.”

The woman then stopped, and a faint blush coated her cheeks. “Oh, right, sorry,” she said, laughing awkwardly to herself. “Just getting a little excited. I’ve been wanting another girl in the family for so long!”

Niall just smiled at her, his expression changing. He looked lovey, a result of thinking about his new girlfriend. He always got that dazed expression on his face whenever he talked about her to Harry. It was cute and kind of sickening at the same time, but Harry liked that it made his friend happy. 

“Her name’s Amelia,” he answered with a smile. “She’s a model here in London. We’ve been dating for about two months now. And she’s really, really pretty. I, um, I have a picture if you wanna see.”

“Of course I want to see!” Gigi scoffed, a smile already on her face. “Is that even a question?”

That caused Niall to brighten up significantly. He hurried out of his chair and grabbed his phone excitedly. He then hurried over to Gigi and showed her the phone. It was probably one of the cute pictures that he and Amelia had taken together where they were posing like every other basic couple poses. 

And Harry wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. It was just that… it made him feel a little lonely. He wasn’t looking for anyone, since it didn’t actually want anyone. God knows that if he tried, he could have almost any guy he wanted. But he just didn’t want that, at least not yet. And he didn’t have the time for it either. From his solo career, to the twins, to the band, he didn’t have time for a love life. Even if he got lonely sometimes. 

“Oh, she’s gorgeous!” Gigi exclaimed, her eyes widening at the picture. “She’s so pretty, Niall! Look at you two, you’re absolutely adorable! You should definitely bring her over sometime. I’ve been wanting a girlfriend in the family forever!”

Louis sniffed quietly, looking down at his hands which were in his lap and raising his eyebrows to himself. He cleared his throat meaningfully. 

The model looked over at him, and her eyes grew wide, her smile dropping off her face. “Oh, I mean, other than Eleanor, of course! I just meant...” She said hastily, covering it up with an awkward laugh. “Where is Eleanor anyways?”

Louis just looked up at her with a strained smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “She was too busy to make it today. She wanted to, but she had other plans she had to attend,” he said stiffly. Harry made a point of looking down at his lap so that no one could see the grimace on his face. 

“Oh,” the woman said, nodding slightly. “I see. And what was she doing?”

“She’s playing golf,” Freddie said, interrupting Louis before the man could get a chance to respond. “With some of her friends.”

Harry couldn’t help quirking an eyebrow at that. Eleanor was too busy to come to a dinner with them… because she was out playing golf with some of her friends. For some reason, Harry couldn’t find it in himself to be surprised. Eleanor never made an effort to join the group. Not that he was complaining. 

He didn’t say anything though, but Niall did. “She’s out playing golf?” He repeated, raising his eyebrows at Louis. “Well, it really does sound like her plans were much more important than this. Wouldn’t want her to miss a chance to go out and play golf now, would we?”

Louis didn’t say anything, but Harry could see the way his shoulders stiffened and the small purse of his lips. He frowned a little at that, not expecting that kind of reaction. He expected Louis to snap back at Niall and defend his girlfriend. It was odd. 

This time, it was Liam stepping in and changing the subject. He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat awkwardly. “Well, um, moving on,” he said. “I don’t think all the kids know each other yet. Maybe you should all introduce yourselves?”

“Dad, that’s lame,” Bear muttered, earning a laugh from the table. Harry even chuckled a little at that, feeling the tension start to drain from the table again. 

Liam just huffed. “Please?” He asked his son, nudging him a little with his arm. 

“Fine,” Bear said, rolling his eyes a little. “I’m Bear Payne. Um, and I’m seven. That’s all.”

Everyone else laughed again, while Liam just huffed again. He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s not what I meant,” he mumbled with a frown. 

Ollie just reached over and placed an arm around Liam’s shoulders and pulled him into a side hug. “Let it go, babe,” he said gently. 

Liam just rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he sighed. He then turned to face the small girl next to them. “Christle, do you want to go next?”

“Um, I’m Christle Hadid-Malik,” the five year old girl said primly, sitting up in her seat and brushing her hair back. “And I’m five years old, which is a lot.”

Zayn smiled lovingly, patting the girl on her head. “That is a lot, sweetie,” he said. It was sweet and loving. And very fatherly. Even though probably no one would have thought he would have been a good father when they were younger, it was clear that he had changed a lot. And he seemed happy, from the way he was looking at his little girl. 

“I can go! I can go!” Allie exclaimed suddenly, waving her arm around to get everyone’s attention. She waited until everyone was looking at her, before clearing her throat dramatically. “My name is Allie Tomlinson and, um, I’m this many!” She held up four fingers. 

Freddie’s head snapped over to her, and he scrunched up his nose. “Tomlinson?” He repeated, looking at her incredulously. “But that’s my name!”

Allie then looked at him, immediately frowning. “Nuh uh,” she protested. “That’s my name! And that’s Robbie’s name too!”

“But… but…” Freddie stammered, his frown deepening as his head looked from Allie, to his father. “That doesn’t make any sense! That’s my dad’s name and my name! Your name can’t be Tomlinson!”

“Oh my god,” Harry breathed, burying his face in his hands and slumping down in the chair. This couldn’t be happening. Not today. Not right now. Not when they were sitting down and having dinner with everyone watching. This could not be happening. 

Louis stiffened, and placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Freddie, stop yelling,” he said stiffly, rubbing his temples. 

“This was a bad idea-” Liam said nervously, looking between the four of them. He was gnawing on his bottom lip anxiously. He was cut off by the eight year old interrupting him. 

“Your daddy’s name isn’t even Tomlinson,” he pointed out, pointing a finger at Harry. “His name is Styles. Not Tomlinson. That’s  _ my  _ dad’s name. So why do you have my dad’s last name? Your name should be Styles, like  _ your _ daddy’s name.”

Allie opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She frowned even more, her small brows furrowing in the middle of her head. But still, she didn’t say anything. Because she had nothing to say. After a moment, she turned to look at Harry accusingly. “Why, daddy?” She asked.

Harry just shook his head, slumping even further in his chair.  _ ‘This can’t be happening. This can’t be real,’  _ he thought desperately to himself, over and over. This conversation was not supposed to be happening right now. At least, not here. He couldn’t do this. 

It was actually Niall that stepped in, since it appeared that neither of them were going to say anything (or even COULD say anything.) The blond man cleared his throat. “Hey!” he said, getting everyone’s attention. “Let’s see how many spring rolls I can fit into my mouth!”

“You already tried that, uncle Niall,” Robbie pointed out quietly. “Remember, it was six and a half.”

“Well I bet I can sit even more this time!” The Irishman exclaimed. 

Niall then had all the kids attention as he proceeded to try and stuff the spring rolls into his mouth. The kids were all watching intently, giggling and laughing out loud. The previous conversation seemed to have been forgotten by them (even if it was only temporary) which was a relief for Harry. He slumped against the back of his chair, sighing heavily. 

He could feel the other adults’ gazes on him, but he couldn’t bother looking up at them. He already knew what he’d see. Sympathy from Liam, confusion from Gigi, annoyance from Zayn, concern from Niall, and probably some sort of pity from Ollie (but he didn’t know because he didn’t actually know him very well.) And, well, Louis’ face would probably be masked under an unreadable expression. 

And he didn’t think he’d be able to deal with them right now if he looked up. So he just kept his head down and tried to gather his shit together again.

“Seven!” The kids cheered as Niall shoved a final spring roll into his mouth. As soon as he did that, he lifted his arms over his head in a victory, before spitting the rolls onto his plate. 

“I told you I could beat six and a half!” Niall said, tickling Robbie a little, causing the little boy to giggle in laughter. 

Christle, meanwhile, had her gaze set on the spit-covered spring rolls on his plate. She wrinkled her nose up in disgust. “That’s gross,” she said with a grimace. 

***

When dinner was over, the kids were quick to scatter away from the adults. They all ran off together as soon as they were finished eating, running up the stairs towards Christle’s room to play. And while it was cute and nice that they were all having fun together, it now meant that Harry didn’t have the twins to absorb all his focus. Now it was just him and the boys. 

The dinner didn’t get much better. Sure, there were no more big incidents like what just happened between Allie and Freddie, but it still didn’t get better. The whole table had a tense atmosphere for the remainder of the time eating there. 

It sucked, and Harry was really regretting agreeing to come. 

After the kids scattered, Ollie excused himself from the table for a moment. He was only gone a few moments, but when he came back, he had another bottle of wine in his hands that he and Liam had brought. Then Gigi had gotten all excited again and ushered them all out to the back deck. 

The deck was actually really nice. It was big, obviously, and it was decorated beautifully. There was a really nice outdoor furniture set, with blue and white cushions. They had a swing chair (that Niall insisted on sitting on). There were even outdoor lights that hung above them, lighting up the sky. 

It was only eight o’clock, so the sun was just setting, making it the perfect time for wine. Or, at least, that’s what Gigi claimed. And Harry wasn’t going to argue because he really wanted the wine. So he headed out without complaint. 

“It’s really nice out here,” Ollie commented politely as they walked out. He looked around, nodding in approval. “And it has a beautiful view. You can see the sunset perfectly.”

“Thanks,” Zayn said, with a smile. “Gi decorated it. She decorated our whole house, actually. She’s really into that sort of stuff.”

“It’s because I’m a model, Z. I have to be into this sort of stuff,” the woman pointed out playfully, letting her fiance wrap his arms around her shoulders. “Fashion in my speciality.”

It was then that Niall spotted the swing chair. His eyes lit up and he gasped. “Is that a swing chair!?” He exclaimed excitedly. Before anyone had a chance to respond, he was running as fast as he could towards it. He plopped himself down in it. “This is so cool! I wanna get one!”

Harry just rolled his eyes. Sometimes Niall really was a child in a man’s body. It was nice to see that he hadn’t changed too much. 

Zayn and Gigi went and sat down on the smaller couch together, still wrapped in each other’s arms. Liam and Ollie then headed over to claim the couch together, intertwining their hands as they went over and sat down, lost in each other’s eyes. With the two couches and the swing taken, that only left the loveseat. 

And it just so happened that the only two people who weren’t sitting were Louis and Harry, with only the loveseat left. 

Nobody else seemed to notice the predicament. They were all too occupied murmuring quietly to their partner, or in Niall’s case, giggling quietly to himself as he swung around in the chair. The only people who noticed were Louis and Harry. 

Louis cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Uh, you can, um, take that. I can stand,” he offered awkwardly, his eyes darting around anywhere but Harry. 

“No, no,” Harry said, shaking his head and taking a small step away from the loveseat. “I’m good. I’m alright with standing. You can sit.”

But Louis didn’t make a move to sit down in the loveseat. “It’s fine,” he said, motionning at the couch. “Really. I don’t mind standing. I actually like standing. You can sit there. It’s really fine.”

“I’m fine too,” insisted Harry. “You can take the seat. I’m good. I don’t even want it.”

“It’s fine, Harry. Really. You can sit in the chair. I really wouldn’t want to take it.”

“Neither would I. Please, I insist. You can take the chair.”

“I’m fine to stand.”

“So am I.”

“I wouldn’t feel right to take the seat.”

“Neither would I.”

“Harry, really. I don’t mind standing.”

“Neither do I. I actually like standing.”

“You can-”

“Are you two done yet?” Niall interrupting, raising his eyebrows at them and looking unimpressed. The two men looked over at him in surprise. “Just share the seat.”

Harry was quick to hastily shake his head. “No, really. It’s alright-”   
  


But the blond man was quick to cut them off once again. “I thought you two said you were good,” he interrupted yet again. “You told me that things were fine between you now.”

“They are,” Harry mumbled quickly. 

“Well then stop fighting and share the damn seat. It’s not like you’re sharing a bed or anything,” Niall said, his voice sounding a little looser than usual. He clearly drank a little too much wine while they were having dinner, or else he never would have said something like that. 

Still, Harry’s cheeks burned at the mention of them sharing a bed. Nobody knew that he and Louis had spent the entire afternoon on Saturday curled up on his couch. He didn’t even want to know what they would think if they knew. Which was why he would never tell anyone. Ever. 

Louis didn’t seem fazed by Niall’s tipsy comments. He just shrugged easily, looking sideways at Harry. “Okay,” he said. “If that’s alright with you?”

Harry nodded quickly, even though it made him feel a little nervous inside. “Um, yeah, sure. Of course it’s alright,” he stammered, moving to sit down on the loveseat. He made sure to sit on the end of it, leaving as much space in between the two of them. But the loveseat was small, and their thighs would touch whenever one of them would move. 

“Okie dokie! Let’s open up that wine!” Niall cheered, already hopping out of his seat and making his way over to the wine. He even did a little shimmy on the way over, wiggling his butt. 

Liam just snorted. “Ni, you’re drunk,” he commented with a laugh. 

Niall just turned to look at him, indignant. “No I’m not!” He exclaimed with a frown. “I’m just loosening up! You should try it sometime.”

“Really though,” Harry said, smirking a little at his friend. “This isn’t him drunk. He swears a whole lot more when he’s drunk. And he dances a lot more, but it isn’t the shimmy. This is just the beginning of it.”

“But not the end of it!” Niall said loudly. 

Harry just rolled his eyes. “Try not to get too drunk, though. There’s kids here and we wouldn’t want you to scandalize them even more than you already have.”

“Oh little-bittle Hazzy,” Niall said, waltzing over to them and pinching Harry’s cheeks in his fingers. “You need to loosen up a little. Here, have some wine.”

The blond man pushed a glass into Harry’s hand before he could say anything. But Harry just rolled his eyes and tried to give it back. “I’m not getting drunk, Niall,” he said. “I have to drive you and the twins home, remember?”

“Pshh!” Exclaimed Niall, waving his hand around. “I’m not asking you to get drunk. One glass never hurt anyone. You’re just thinking of excuses ‘cause you don’t wanna tell me what really happened on Saturday.”

Louis’ head looked over at Harry, his eyes widening a little. But Harry didn’t glance over at him in order not to give anything away. “Nothing happened on Saturday, Niall,” he said easily. “Now go sit down in the swing chair, you drunk.”

Niall just waved him off, murmuring a ‘yeah, yeah,’ on his way over to his swing chair. He had a full glass of wine in his hands, which meant that he was definitely going to be getting a little tipsy tonight. And honestly, Harry wished he got to do that. Being drunk would definitely help him get through this night. 

They sat in silence for a little while, just sipping their wine and enjoying the company. It was nice, in an odd and reminiscing kind of way. Thinking back to the way things used to be. Before it all got so confusing. Back when they were just five boys with a dream and a passion. 

There was a shriek of laughter coming from inside, which was undeniably Allie. That girl was a yeller. But Liam just hummed thoughtfully. “It’s kind of crazy,” he said softly. “Here we are, ten years later with kids and partners, but still part of the same band.”

Harry nodded, taking another gulp of wine. “Crazy,” he mumbled in agreement. 

“To be honest, I didn’t think it would be me,” Zayn said after a moment. “I never in a million years thought that I would be the one engaged to a beautiful model with a daughter. I always thought it would be…” he trailed off, covering it up with a sip of wine. 

But Harry heard him. “Me and Louis,” he finished for him, swallowing thickly. 

“Well… yeah,” Zayn said sheepishly, casting a glance over at the two of them. “Never thought it would be me. I didn’t think I had it in me to have a kid.”

Gigi just leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek. “You’re a wonderful father,” she said lovingly, gazing into his eyes. ‘ _ They really are in love,’  _ Harry noted mentally. 

“I didn’t think it would be me either,” Liam pondered. “I mean, how old was I when I had Bear? Twenty? That seems so far away now. Hardly seems real how this all worked out. Like a dream or something.”

“Some dream,” Harry muttered quietly so that no one could hear him. 

“Well I for one am glad I don’t have kids,” Niall said loudly, a sure sign that he had been drinking, though not actually drunk. “Don’t really see the point in them to be honest. All the good parts I can do with Allie and Robbie, but I still don’t have to actually look after them. Kinda a win-win.”

Gigi nodded. “It seems that way at first,” she said softly. “But then you have that little baby in your arms and everything just feels so right. None of the bad parts even matter anymore after that, because you have your own little angel who makes it all worth it.”

But Niall just shrugged. “Still not really my thing,” he said loosely. 

“It isn’t for everyone,” Louis commented, taking a sip of his own drink. 

They talked for a while longer, until it started getting dark out. The sun finally set and the moon was now coming up, which was a sure sign that it was getting late. It was summer in LA, which meant that it didn’t get dark until late. Their only light was the light of the cute outdoor lights. 

The bottle of wine was now nearly empty, but no one was drunk. Except for maybe Niall, who drank most of it. Harry had stopped after having half of his glass, since it wanted to make sure he didn’t drink too much. So even though he barely had any, he decided he was done. 

At some point, Robbie wandered outside, rubbing his eyes and calling for Harry. It wasn’t a surprise that he was tired first, since it was the youngest out of all the kids. Even though he and Allie were the same age, Robbie just acted younger sometimes. 

“Hey baby,” Harry cooed when the four year old stumbled over to them, blinking around groggily at the group. The conversation stopped when the boy came out, all eyes trained on him. “Are you tired?”

“Mhm,” Robbie hummed, making his way over to Harry and climbing into his lap, resting his head against Harry’s chest. Harry was quick to wrap his own arms around the boy, holding him close. 

“Yeah? We’re gonna go soon, but you can go to sleep now, love,” he said gently, running his fingers through the boy’s light hair. He could tell that Robbie was tired, since he got really cuddly when he was tired (just like Harry.)

“‘Kay, daddy,” the boy said quietly, his voice muffled by Harry’s shirt. “Night night.”

Harry leaned down, pressing a small kiss to the top of his head. “Goodnight, baby,” he said gently. 

Robbie then dropped off to sleep like a fly, his eyes drifting closed. Not a moment later, his breath evened out into longer, slower breaths. He was asleep just like that.

Gigi’s eyes looked at the boy lovingly. “He’s so precious,” she cooed quietly, her gaze sweeping over his laxed features. “Look at him, he’s perfect.”

“He is perfect,” Harry murmured, glancing down at his sleeping boy and feeling his heart expand the way it always did around his children. He let his finger gently brush the fringe out of his eyes, watching the boy’s features soften at the action. “Anyway, we should probably get going. Allie’s gonna crash any moment.”

Liam and Ollie both nodded as well. “We should too. Bear’s gonna be exhausted tomorrow,” Ollie said, standing up and then helping his boyfriend to his feet. “But it’s worth it for them to have fun. It would be pretty great if they all became friends.”

“That would be great,” Louis said, but he wasn’t looking at Liam. He was looking at Robbie, his expression soft. And Harry didn’t even mind. 

The seven of them headed inside, only to hear the loud voices of the children playing. And above them all was Allie’s yelling voice. Niall snorted and mumbled something about ‘such a Tomlinson,’ but Harry couldn’t be sure. 

They walked into the living room, seeing all the children spread out. “We should all have a sleepover!” They heard Allie suggest excitedly. “Tonight! We can all have a sleepover at my house tonight!”

“Not tonight, Allie,” Harry said quickly before any of them could get their hopes up. “It’s time for bed when we go home.”

“Awe!” The kids all whined in unison, slumping their shoulders down dejectedly. Well, at least they were all friends now who wanted to hang out. That was something. 

“But, daddy. If we have a sleepover, you can too!” The girl bribed, wiggling her eyebrows at her father. 

Harry let out a soft laugh. “As tempting as that is, the answer is still no. You’re tired and Robbie’s already asleep. But maybe another night,” he said. 

“And since when does Harry like sleepovers?” Asked Liam, smirking a little at the curly haired man. “You seem more like a girly-slumber party kind of person to me, Haz. You know, face masks and painting nails and romcoms.”

He wasn’t wrong. Harry loved all those things. Not that he was going to give him the satisfaction of saying so, though. 

Allie didn’t seem to notice. “Daddy has sleepovers all the time. Sometimes with Niall,” she said, before pausing. “Oh, and he was sleepin’ with Lou a few days ago.”

Jaws immediately fell to the floor as everyone’s heads snapped over to look at Harry in shock. Even Louis seemed shocked at the words that came out of the four year old’s mouth. And if Harry hadn’t been holding the sleeping boy so securely, he probably would have probably would have dropped him. It took him a few moments to even register what she was talking about, since he was too stunned by what she had just said. 

“WHAT!?” Yelled Niall in shock, his eyes going impossibly wide and seeming to bug out of his head. He seemed more sober than he had all night suddenly. 

“It wasn’t like that,” Louis said hastily, swallowing thickly. “We weren’t  _ sleeping  _ sleeping. Get your minds out of the gutter.”

“Well what the hell are we supposed to think when a four year old tells us that you were  _ sleeping together?”  _ Hissed Liam, narrowing his eyes at Louis. 

Gigi seemed to be the only reasonable one. “Allie, dear. What do you mean?” She asked, patiently to the small girl, but her face was just as stricken as everyone else’s. 

Allie just shrugged, not picking up on the sudden change in the room. “They were snugglin’ and stuff on the couch. And they were sleeping.”

“Oh,” Liam said, before pausing for a moment. His head looked between Harry and Louis, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “ _ Oh.” _

“That’s it?” Niall asked the girl. Allie nodded. He let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god.”

Freddie was just looking at them incredulously. “Why’s everyone so worried?” He asked with a furrow of his brow. “What’s wrong with dad and Harry sleeping together?”

Well, that escalated. Harry quickly snatched up Allie’s hand while the other one supported the sleeping boy. “I’m leaving now,” he announced, already halfway to the door. “Thanks Gigi and Zayn. Oh, and thanks for the wine, Ollie. I’ll have to drink a whole lot more next time.”

Then with that, he was out the door. 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back!!
> 
> First of all, I just have to say that you are all so amazing. It was kind of hard to get actual hate, but you guys are all so supportive and nice, and it’s so great. Thank you so so much for sticking with me and with this story. You have no idea how much this means.
> 
> I’m still having kind of a hard time with my mental health and stuff, but you are all so amazing, and I love each and every single one of you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> All the love ❤️

Harry pulled into the Syco parking lot that day, feeling better than he had any other time he pulled into that building. Because they were recording today. 

Normally, he hated every bit of being at Syco (and he still did.) But he was excited about recording. He hadn’t been behind the recording booth in forever, not since he released Fine Line. And he was excited to get back to it, since the music was the only reason he even tolerated Management. 

He had chosen his song as soon as he finished at the party last week, and he was proud of his decision. It had been hard and he had spent a long time thinking it over. He came back from the dinner and then went straight to his bedroom (after tucking the twins in, of course) and spent three hours thinking of which song he should pick . 

In the end, though, it hadn’t been that hard. Well, that’s a lie. It had been that hard. It had been grueling to pick only one of his songs, but then the decision was kind of obvious. He needed to pick the one that spoke to him the most of all his songs. The one that formed an arc, from the beginning of his solo career, to the end. A beautiful finish to a beautiful journey. Something that tied then end to his solo career with the respect it deserved. 

So he chose the one that was the closest to his heart. 

Harry parked his car, before hopping out. He nearly skipped across the parking lot, only to nearly run into another body. He blinked in surprise, not having seen the other person on his way in. But his idiotic self had to be clumsy yet again, and he nearly toppled over. 

Only, two hands reached out and grabbed his waist, bracing him and keeping him from falling into the concrete parking lot. “Oh, hey Harry,” the high voice said, sounding a little amused. 

Harry blinked up stupidly, only to see a familiar pair of blue eyes staring right back at him. His face turned surprised when he finally recognized who it was. “Oh, Louis!” He exclaimed, his eyes going wide. “Uh, sorry ‘bout that.”

“S’alright,” Louis said, smiling a little. “I’ve kind of been expecting you to try and run me over at some point. You;’e always been too clumsy for your own good.”

It sounded like flirting. Didn’t it? Harry didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore. He didn’t know why Louis was saying this instead of just pushing him away in disgust. He didn’t know why Louis was smiling at him. He didn’t know why his knees had suddenly become weak. He didn’t know why his heart was racing. 

And he didn’t know why Louis’ hands were still holding onto his waist. 

_ ‘What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?’ _

_ Thanks.  _ “Run you over?” Harry said instead, his mind still whirling inside of his head. “What do you mean you expected me to run you down?” He mentally face-palmed himself.  _ Wrong thing.  _

God, why was he such a mess. One minute he was proudly walking into the Syco building with a good feeling of purpose inside, and now he was standing in the middle of the parking lot like an idiot. What the hell was wrong with him today?

But Louis just raised an eyebrow at him. “You know,” he said. “Run me down with your car or something. I half expected you to on the first day seeing me, if I’m being honest.”

This time, it was Harry who raised an eyebrow. But this time it was in surprise and disbelief. “Why would I run you down?” He asked dumbly, feeling more and more like an idiot by the second. He really couldn’t get his mind to work properly. And it didn’t help that Louis’ hands were still bracing his waist. 

“Because you’re mad at me and you hate me,” Louis answered immediately, like the answer was obvious. It kind of took Harry off guard. 

“I don’t hate you… anymore,” he admitted, mumbling the last part. “And I’m not mad at you… anymore. And I thought you were the one who was mad at me.”

Louis looked at him like he was insane, before nodding hesitantly. “I mean, I was pissed for a little while. But I’m not anymore, so that’s something.”

“Yeah… something,” Harry said softly. But the words barely even registered in his mind, because it was too busy chanting  _ ‘his hands are still on my waist, his hands are still on my waist, his hands are still on my waist…’ _

They stood in the middle of the road for a moment, while neither of them said anything. It was kind of awkward, since Harry could literally feel his heart racing (and he was pretty sure Louis could feel it too.) And Louis wasn’t making a move to move either. So even though his hands weren’t even holding onto Harry even more, and there was nothing restraining him there, he still found that he couldn’t move away. 

A horn honked off in the distance, snapping Harry back to reality. He tore his eyes away from where they had been looking up into Louis’ blue eyes, looking down at the ground. “We should, um, we should probably go inside… I think the meeting is about to start,” he said awkwardly. 

“Oh, yeah, right. The meeting,” Louis said, shifting back a little on his feet so that they weren’t nearly as close anymore. His hands dropped down to his sides, but Harry’s skin was still tingling from where he had been touched. 

Neither of them made a move to get out of where they were standing in the middle of the parking lot. “So, uh,” Harry said, shifting a little. “Do you wanna go in now?”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis said. Harry moved to start walking towards the door of the building, when Louis suddenly caught his wrist again. “Um, actually, I kinda wanted to ask you something first…”

He seemed nervous, Harry noted. Louis Tomlinson was never nervous. He was loud. He was witty. He was sarcastic. He was brave. He was strong. He was proud. He was sure of himself. He didn’t get nervous. Harry raised a brow at that. “Yes?” He prompted. 

“I was, um, actually I was just wondering if we could… meet up sometime,” Louis asked, the words seeming to be forced out of his mouth with some difficulty. His head was dropped so that Harry couldn’t see his eyes. Like he was scared. 

“You wanna see the twins?” Harry clarified. “Louis, you know you can come by and see them whenever you want. Just text me or something first and we can set something up-”

“I don’t wanna see the twins,” Louis interrupted, before his eyes grew wide. “No, that’s not what I meant! Of course I want to see them- I always want to see them! That’s not what I meant to say. I wanted to see if we could set something up?”

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. “Louis, I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

“With you. I want to see if we can go get a coffee or something sometime,” Louis offered, looking Harry dead in the eyes. And his blue eyes were honest, piercing into his soul. 

Harry’s stomach dropped. “Coffee? With me?” He repeated, feeling choked up. He felt sick to his stomach all of a sudden. “No. No, no, no, no. I can’t- no, that’s not-”

Louis seemed to realize what he had said, because his eyes grew wide. “Oh, no, shit. That’s not what I meant to say either. I didn’t mean- I’m not asking you out,” he clarified hastily, his eyes still wide. 

Oh.  _ Oh.  _

“Y-you’re not?” Harry stammered, blinking a few times. “Then what are you talking about?”

“I’m just asking if we could maybe get a coffee sometime and… talk?” He said, finishing lamely. “I feel like we sorta skipped the part where we talk and it’s killing me.”

That sorta made sense, even though Harry was more than happy to skip the talking part. That was the most painful part. “Umm,” he said, exhaling slowly. “Yeah… sure. I guess we can do that sometime…”

“Yeah?” Louis asked, looking concerned. “Because we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I was just thinking it would probably be good for both of us to talk about it. But if you don’t want to, we definitely don’t have to. I don’t want to pressure you or make you feel obligated to open your entire life-”

He was rambling. “Hey, Louis,” interrupted Harry, cutting the older man off. “I said yeah. We can do this.”

“You sure?” Louis asked slowly, a frown on his face. 

This time, Harry nodded confidently. “Yeah, I’m sure. I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t,” he said, forcing a smile onto his face. 

Louis’ hesitant face broke into a small smile as well, looking like a weight had been lifted off of him. “Great,” he said, relaxing a little. “I’ll text you so we can make plans, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” the younger man said, swallowing thickly and straining a smile on his face. 

It looked like Louis was about to say something else, when a car pulled up in front of them and honked loudly, causing both of them to jump in surprise. A man poked his head out of the window. “Oi, get outta the lot, lovebirds!” He yelled. 

Harry immediately blushed crimson and was quick to step out of the way of the car. Louis moved as well, but not before flipping the guy off first. “Asshole,” he muttered as they stepped towards the Syco building. Neither of them said anything else as they headed inside. 

Usually, whenever they were called into a meeting with Syco, it was always in the same room. It was a conference room that was labeled specifically for them. Their own special conference room that they used every time. 

But not today. Today they were recording, which meant that they were heading to the recording studio for a change. And Harry was really excited about it. He was giddy all the way down while he and Louis walked to the room. 

“There you are!” Niall exclaimed when they pushed open the door of the recording studio. “We were starting to wonder if you two would ever show up!”

Everyone was already there. Niall, Liam and Zayn were all lounging around in the chairs outside of the recording booth, while the crew that was working the booth were fiddling around with the controls and settings. It was clear that they were the last ones to arrive. 

“Sorry,” Louis said, closing the door behind them. 

“You better be. Liam already finished recording,” Zayn said from where he was reclined in the comfortable, red couch. “I was just about to go in now.”

Harry grimaced at that, turning to face Liam, who was also sitting on the couch and drinking a glass of water. “Sorry, Li,” he said with a frown, the giddiness leaving him. “We didn’t mean to be late. Sorry we missed your recording.”

But Liam just waved it off. “Nah, it’s fine,” he said easily, sipping his straw. “‘S not a big deal anyways. We’ll have plenty of time to sing together soon.”

“Still, we didn’t mean to miss it. That sucks,” Harry mumbled, his frown deepening. “What song did you play?”

“Strip That Down,” the man answered with a half-hearted shrug. “I didn’t really have much of a choice. It’s the only song of mine that anyone might know. None of them really made it big, you know?”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Zayn chimed, nudging his friend with his arm. “All of your songs are amazing. And all of our fans love them too. You’re just as good an artist as any of us- if not better.”

But the words didn’t really seem to sink in. Liam just nodded, but it was clear he didn’t believe it. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbled quietly. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.”

He still looked a little sad, though, which made Harry nearly stop in his tracks. He hadn’t known that Liam was so insecure about this. He hadn’t even considered it. Because Liam was always the strong one, the one that this stuff didn’t bother. But it seemed that they had all changed during this hiatus. 

Harry opened his mouth to say something else, when one of the crew members popped their head out of the recording booth. “We’re ready to go again,” she said, shooting them a smile. “Niall, you’re up.”

Niall nodded, smiling as he stood up. “Wish me luck,” he said, passing them. 

“You don’t need it,” Harry answered with a smile. 

The blond man just chuckled a little, placing a peck onto Harry’s temple. “That’s my boy,” he said, patting him on the head before heading into the studio. 

One good thing about the recording booth they were using was that it wasn’t sound proof. They could hear anything that was going on inside the booth from the lounging area. Every note change and falsetto, they could hear perfectly from the couch. So Harry just settled himself on the couch beside Liam while they waited for their friend to start. 

Not long after Niall had gotten himself set up, did the music for Nice To Meet Ya start playing. Harry smiled excitedly. He really liked this one. 

When Niall actually started singing, Harry allowed himself to bob his head up and down a little. Really, that song was a masterpiece. He had been there when Niall wrote it, and they had both been over the moon about it. It was just such a fun and upbeat song. It was great. 

The other boys seemed to like it too, since they were also bobbing around to it as well. If they thought that hearing it as the recorded version was good, it was nothing compared to hearing it live. There was so much more energy. 

Niall also seemed to be getting excited in there, since he was dancing around a little as well. He was clearly getting into it, since his smile was huge. 

When the song finished, Niall came back out, looking a little breathless but over the moon as well. “Hey guys!” He breathed, looking for their reactions. “Did you like it?”

“That was sick!” Exclaimed Louis, a bright, encouraging smile on his face. Niall’s face broke into a huge smile and he high fived the other man. And for just a moment, it was like things used to be. Back when they were all close. And it felt… right. 

“That was really good, Niall,” Zayn added, nodding in approval. He had a small smile on his face. Niall even managed to mumble a ‘thanks’ and shoot him a tight smile. Well, not everything was like it used to be.

The girl popped her head out of the door again. “Zayn?” She called. 

The dark haired man nodded, standing up from his seat. He looked nervous about going in. Zayn had always had issues with his confidence and with anxiety, and he always got nervous before recording. And it was apparent from the way his face had paled and his knees had gone shaky that that was still the case. 

None of the other boys said anything as Zayn rose to his feet and started making his way towards the recording booth, nervously. 

But right before he got to the booth, Harry grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into a tight and quick hug. “You’ve got this,” he said quietly into his ear, before promptly releasing the other man. 

Everyone was stunned by that, eyebrows raised. And Zayn just looked shocked. Harry shot him a tight smile in response. 

But it seemed to do the trick, since Zayn nodded and swallowed thickly. “Thanks,” he said weakly, before heading into the recording booth. 

Harry then settled himself back onto the couch where he had been before, in between Liam and Niall. Everyone still seemed a little shocked by the exchange, but they didn’t say anything about it. They just all went quiet as they heard Zayn start his song, Pillowtalk. 

Ten minutes later, the same girl came back out, with Zayn on her trail. “Louis?” She called, nodding her head towards the door for the man to follow her. Louis stood up, flashing them a smile and murmuring a ‘good job’ to Zayn. 

“What song do you think he’s gonna play?” Liam asked once they were all settled back on the couch, waiting for Louis to start recording. The boys shrugged. 

“I don’t really know,” Zayn said. “He might play Walls, since it’s the main song on the album. But he also might play Kill My Mind, since that’s his favourite.”

Niall nodded, pursing his lips. “I like Walls,” he commented. “I’ve only heard a few of them, but I really like that one. Hopefully he plays it.”

“Maybe We Made It?” Suggested Liam with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not one of his most popular ones, but it’s really nice. I don’t know which he’s going to choose. What do you think, Haz?”

“I, uh,” Harry stammered, looking down at where his hands were resting in his lap. “I didn’t listen to the album.”

“Oh,” Liam said, clearing his throat and shifting awkwardly. The mood had quickly turned uncomfortable all over again. “Right. Sorry. I, uh, forgot.”

Harry nodded. But really, he didn’t understand how Liam could possibly have forgotten the giant fall-out they had. There was a constant reminder everywhere Harry went. Everytime he looked at his kids, he got a reminder of it. 

It was only a few moments later that the music started playing for the intro. It was actually really pretty and flowy. Harry actually really liked the sound of it. 

Which was why he didn’t understand why Zayn and Liam’s faces paled all of a sudden, or why Zayn mumbled, ‘shit.’

When the intro was over, Louis opened his mouth and started singing. “ _ I always said that I’d mess up eventually. I told you that so what did you expect from me? It shouldn’t come as no surprise anymore.  _

_ “I know you said that you’d give me another chance. But you and I knew the truth of it in advance. That mentally, you were already out the door. _

_ “Never thought that giving up would be so hard. But God, I’m missing you and your addictive heart.” _

_ “You’re the habit that I can’t break. You’re the feeling I can’t put down. You’re the shiver that I can’t shake. You’re the habit that I can’t break. You’re the high that I need right now. You’re the habit that I can’t break.” _

Harry couldn’t help the scowl that formed on his face. Because, of course Louis would be playing a love song for Eleanor when Harry was sitting just a few feet away. Why couldn’t he have chosen a song that wasn’t dedicated to the girlfriend he left Harry for. 

And just when Harry thought Louis was getting better. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Zayn mumbled, running a hand through his hair frantically. Liam was just watching Louis with wide eyes, almost asking  _ ‘what are you thinking!?’ _

Harry didn’t understand why they were making it such a big deal. It was just a song. And even though it felt like a stab right through his chest, it was something Harry could live with without having a panic attack or anything. He was fine. 

Or maybe he wasn’t. 

_ “I took some time ‘cause I’ve ran out of energy. Of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be. But honestly, I don’t have to choose anymore. And it’s been ages, different stages. Come so far from Princess Park. I’ll always need you in front of me, in front of me…” _

And… WHAT?! 

_ Princess Park… Princess Park… Princess Park… _

Eleanor never lived in Princess Park. Eleanor wasn’t even around when Princess Park was a thing. That was where… that was where Harry lived. With Louis. When they were dating. When they lived together. They were the ones who lived in Princess Park. 

All of a sudden Harry couldn’t breathe. His chest was tightening uncomfortably and he could feel his stomach drop. Realization struck him like a knife through his heart. 

This wasn’t a song for Eleanor. 

This was a song for  _ him.  _

Oh god. 

Harry just sat there in stunned silence for what felt like a million years. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. His mind was completely blank and emotionless. He was in shock. 

After what felt like forever, the music stopped playing. The song was over and Louis was done singing. But Harry was still frozen in place, his mind repeating the same words over and over again. ‘ _ Princess Park, Princess Park, Princess Park…’ _

The door swung open, but he barely noticed. Louis walked out, breathless from singing. His face had an odd expression on his face, almost looking sheepish and… hopeful. Harry didn’t know because he couldn’t focus anymore. 

He didn’t even know the woman was talking to him until Niall nudged him gently in the side. He jumped a foot in the air, looking wildly over to his friend. “You’re turn, Haz,” Niall said gently. His eyes were looking at him in concern, his forehead creased. 

Harry nodded numbly and stood up. His feet were moving on their own accord, barely even registering the fact that he was moving at all. He passed Louis, who opened his mouth to say something. But he promptly shut it again. 

Harry just kept walking into the studio. He hadn’t even closed the door all the way before he heard shouting coming from the other room. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

The girl’s head popped up next to him. “Alright, Harry. We have your song Falling all lined up and ready for you. All you have to do is stand behind the mic and sing while we play the music- just like always. Alright?”

Harry nodded. “Y-yeah,” he stammered. 

The girl cocked her head to the side at that, looking at him in concern. “Are you alright, Mr Styles?” She asked in worry, frowning a little. 

“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” Harry answered, swallowing thickly to try and push the thoughts out of his mind. “I’m good. Let’s do this.”

“Great,” the girl said, smiling at him again. “Just go in behind that door and the mic is right there. We’ll give you a cue when the music is about to start.”

Harry nodded again, turning towards the door that the girl had motioned too. He pushed it open and headed inside. He walked inside, spotting the microphone that was in the middle of the room. He could tell that the boys could all see him through the large glass window in the wall, but he didn’t even look over. 

The music started and Harry swallowed thickly. He could do this. He loved this song. This was  _ his  _ song. This was the song that was closest to his heart. He could do this. He could sing. 

He inhaled slowly, before closing his eyes and letting the music flow through him. His heart was beating to the beat of the song. He listened to his cue, before starting. 

_ I'm in my bed _

_ And you're not here _

_ And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands _

_ Forget what I said _

_ It's not what I meant _

_ And I can't take it back _

_ I can't unpack the baggage you left _

_ What am I now? _

_ What am I now? _

_ What if I'm someone I don't want around? _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' _

_ What if I'm down? _

_ What if I'm out? _

_ What if I'm someone you won't talk about? _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' _

_ You said you cared _

_ And you missed me, too _

_ And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you _

_ And the coffee's out _

_ At the Beachwood Café _

_ And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say _

_ What am I now? _

_ What am I now? _

_ What if I'm someone I don't want around? _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' _

_ What if I'm down? _

_ What if I'm out? _

_ What if I'm someone you won't talk about? _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' _

_ And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again _

_ What am I now? _

_ What am I now? _

_ What if you're someone I just want around? _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' _

_ What if I'm down? _

_ What if I'm out? _

_ What if I'm someone you won't talk about? _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' again _

_ I'm fallin' _

The song finished slowly, the music slowly drifting to the end. It was the final few chords, but Harry didn’t dare open his eyes yet. He couldn’t even risk ruining the peace of the final few chords. 

When the song was finally over, the girl inside the recording booth pressed on an intercom. “That was great, Harry,” she said. “We can definitely use this. We’re just going to be editing this, but you’re free to go. We’ve got everything we need.”

Harry nodded, and slowly made his way out of the room. He had just sung his heart out, and it was one of the good ones. One of the times when he just let everything go and just sang straight from his heart. And that always made him feel vulnerable after. 

He headed out of the recording booth and looked up. His eyes widened in shock of what he saw. Really, he didn’t know what he had been expecting to see when he came out of the room- he hadn’t really thought about it. But this certainly wasn’t what he expected. 

Everyone was crying. Niall and Liam especially, since they were sniffling and had actual tears dripping down their faces. And their expressions were watching him sadly. Even Zayn and Louis had red eyes, and they looked guilty of all things. Nobody said anything as he walked in. 

He cleared his throat a little. “Umm, guys?” He asked slowly, hating the sound of his voice. It sounded rough and a little scratchy for some reason. “Why are you… guys, you’re crying…”

“You’re crying too, Harry,” Liam stated, sniffling a little. 

“I’m… what?” Harry’s eyes widened at that and he brought a hand up to his cheeks. Sure enough, they were wet. And tears were still spilling over his eyes. He quickly tried to wipe the tears out of his eyes, but more just leaked over all over again. 

Without a word, Niall rose to his feet and walked over towards the younger man. Before Harry knew what was happening, he was being pulled into a tight hug. He tensed at first, but then slowly relaxed his body against Niall’s. 

“You did so good,” Niall murmured into his ear so that only Harry could hear. “You did so, so good. It was amazing. I’m so proud of you.”

The words cut right through his body and touched Harry right in his heart. He felt choked up all of a sudden. He couldn’t say anything, so he just nodded his head. But the message seemed to get across to his friend. 

“Hey, um,” the girl said, clearing her throat. She looked a little uncomfortable for interrupting. “If you guys can all come in in two days to record the backups for each of these, that would be great.”

“We will,” Liam said softly. 

Harry waited until he heard the girl head back inside, before speaking. “Can we go home?” He asked weakly, his voice wavering and on the brink of cracking. 

Niall nodded his head. “Of course, babe,” he said gently. “But are you okay?”

Harry nodded again. Even though it might not seem like it at the moment, he was okay. He felt more okay than he had in a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if I didn’t choose the song you had hoped for. It was actually a really hard decision to pick, but Falling just seemed so right for this story. If I can, I’ll try and add in your suggestions at another point. Again, sorry :(


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!! Woo hoo!
> 
> I’m actually really excited about this one personally (and I think some of you will be too.) But I don’t think some of you will like it. I feel like this chapter might spark some controversy.
> 
> So just remember to stay positive and tpwk! :)

Three days later, not much had happened. Harry had barely left the house since then. Not that he’d have anywhere to go anyway. Niall had been a lot busier lately with his new girlfriend Amelia, and their relationship had gone from a fun fling to an actual serious thing. And he didn’t have much time to spend with Harry anymore. 

Not that he didn’t try. He went home with Harry the day after the recordings at Syco just to make sure that he was fine. But Harry assured him that he was, and sent him off to go have the date he had scheduled with Amelia. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Chanted Allie, running around the room. She ran into the living room, spotting her dad sitting on the couch. Without any warning, she was jumping on top of him. 

Harry grunted when the four year old landed on him. “Oof, Allie!” He gasped, sitting up from his spot on the couch. “Don’t jump on people like that. You could hurt someone.”

“Oh, sorry daddy,” the little girl said, chewing on her bottom lip. She looked genuinely sorry, her green eyes wide. And really, who could ever stay mad at someone that cute? Not Harry. 

He smiled down at the little girl, instantly forgiving the girl, ruffling her hair. “It’s okay, love,” he said gently. “What was it you wanted to say?”

“Um, I wanna ask if we can walk to the playground?” The small girl asked, jutting her bottom lip out. She was just too cute. And Harry probably had a problem with saying no to that. 

Scratch that. He definitely had a problem with saying no to that. He smiled down at his daughter. “Oh course, sweetie,” he said gently. “Can you go get your brother, please?”

“Ok, thanks daddy!” The girl chirped happily, hopping off of his lap and hurrying out of the room. She skipped over to the playroom, off to find her brother. Harry smiled tiredly as she left. 

He waited until she had left, before reaching over and pulling out his phone that he had left on the couch. He frowned as he opened the screen again. 

_ Message from: Louis Tomlinson _

_ Hey. Do you still want to meet up sometime for coffee or something? _

_ Message from: Louis Tomlinson _

_ How about later today? Does 12:00 work for you? _

_ Message from: Louis Tomlinson _

_ Harry? _

Each one was sent within half an hour of each other. Harry had seen each of them the minute they had popped up on his phone, but he hadn’t answered a single one. He had just been sitting there, staring at his phone in silence. 

He had thought about answering the texts, but then he couldn’t ever bring himself to do it. What was he going to say? Yes, I’d love to get coffee? No, because that would be a lie. He didn’t want to get coffee with Louis. He didn’t even want to see Louis. He didn’t care if he ever saw Louis ever again. 

It was like all of a sudden, Harry had taken a huge step back, going right back to ignoring Louis and hating his guts. Not sharing the couch and crying on his shoulder. All of a sudden, he was right back where he started. 

And Harry wasn’t stupid. He knew why he had gone right back to being angry and stoic with the other man. It was that song. That damned song that Harry just couldn’t manage to get out of his head. 

_ Habit _ , it was called. All Harry needed to do was search up ‘Louis Tomlinson’ and ‘Princess Park’, and that song was the first thing to pop up. And sure enough, there it was in the words.  _ ‘Come so far from Princess Park…’  _ It was real. It hadn’t been his imagination. 

Harry would be lying if he said that he hadn’t listened to it over the course of those three days since recording. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t memorize all the lyrics from staring at them for hours on end while he should have been sleeping. He would be lying if he said that his heart didn’t pick up each time he heard those words. 

Damn Louis. Damn him for writing that damn song. Damn him for singing that damn song in front of his damn ex-boyfriend. Damn him.

Harry felt his phone binged again, and he was about to throw the phone across the room. He growled as he picked up the phone angrily. But he stopped when he saw that it wasn’t from Louis at all. 

_ Message from: Nialler :) _

_ hey hazza. i cant come over 2night anymore. mia and i are gonna go to a movie… and then shes coming to my place after ;) _

Harry read that message and felt his heart sink just a little bit lower. He and Niall were supposed to be hanging out tonight after the twins went to bed. It was going to be the first time that they had actually hung out together, other than when they were with the whole band or when Harry was having another breakdown.

They were going to buy a bottle of wine, get some crisps and ice cream, and flick on the TV. Then they were going to get drunk and pig-out while crying over romantic comedies. Just like they used to do all the time. 

It was the third time this week that Niall had cancelled on him. 

And it wasn’t like Harry was angry at his best friend. He was happy that Niall was getting out there and actually dating someone. He could clearly see that Amelia made him happy, and it was nice. But he also missed seeing his best friend more than once a week when they were called into a meeting for work. 

Harry stood up, shaking it off and slipping the phone back into his pocket. He didn’t need to be thinking about all of this now. That would just ruin his already pretty bad day, and that wasn’t going to happen. 

“Allie! Robbie!” He called, slipping his shoes onto his feet. “Come on! Let’s go to the playground!”

Almost immediately, he heard the sound of two pairs of small feet rushing towards him. Both kids ran out from behind the wall. “We’re coming!” Robbie exclaimed happily as he ran over. 

Harry smiled at them, feeling better already. His kids seemed to always have that effect on him. “Okay then. Get your shoes on and we can go,” he said to them. 

***

Twenty minutes later, he was walking into the playground, holding onto each twin with a hand. The four year olds were getting more and more excited as they got closer and closer to the playground, pulling at his hands in excitement. 

“Look, daddy, look!” Robbie said excitedly, pointing at the playground as they got closer to it. He was nearly running ahead, only being held back by Harry’s hand. “Look! I see it! I wanna go play!”

“I see it, love,” Harry said, leading them over to the playground. “But we have to put sunscreen on before we play, remember? You don’t wanna look like a lobster again, do you?”

Allie giggled. “No!” She laughed. “Not a lobster!”

“Alright then, we have to put sunscreen on!” Harry said, pulling the twins over. They walked into the playground, heading straight over to the cement tables there for you to sit on. It was right next to the playground, for parents usually to sit. 

Harry squirted some sunscreen into his palm, before grabbing the closest of his kids over by the arm and pulled them close. It happened to be Allie. He started applying the sunscreen to her face. 

“There you go,” Harry said once the girl was all coated up in sunscreen, patting her head. “That should do it. You might even get a nice tan there, love.” 

“Can I go play now?” the girl asked, squirming around excitedly. Harry could tell that she was getting antsy from standing and was just excited to go play. She was always so energetic. 

“Just wait for your brother, then you can go play, ‘kay?” He said, already tugging the boy over to himself and grabbing the sunscreen bottle. He watched as Allie huffed impatiently, pouting a little. He took that as a yes. 

Robbie stood still as his father started applying the sunscreen to his body. “Daddy?” He asked. 

Harry hummed. “Yeah?”

“Can we go visit Bear soon? And Freddie? And Christle?” He asked excitedly. “I wanna go play with them again.”

Harry frowned a little at that. Really, the last thing he wanted to do was go visit his bandmates. “You want to play with them?” He asked slowly. Robbie just nodded, not picking up on his tone. 

“Yup. It was fun when we played at Chrissy’s house. I wanna go play with them again,” he chirped happily. “They’re really, really fun to play with.”

The curly haired man smiled at his son. “I’m sure we can set up a day for you to go play with them if you really want to,” he said. Because even though it would suck for him, it made him feel happy inside that the twins were making friends. Especially Robbie, who was usually too shy. “Are they your friends?”

Robbie nodded happily, his light brown hair bobbing around on his head. “Yeah!” He said. “‘Specially Bear. He’s funny!”

Harry smiled again. “That’s great, love. I’ll ask Uncle Liam if we can set up a time for you and Bear to play.”

“And Chrissy and Freddie, right?” Robbie asked, looking at him with wide eyes. 

And damn, Harry had been hoping that he wouldn’t remember about them. But he didn’t say that, obviously. He just smiled, though this time it was more strained. “Sure. I’ll ask about them too,” he said tightly. “Now, you’re all done. You can go play now.”

Robbie smiled brightly. “Thanks daddy!” He chirped, skipping off happily. 

Harry sighed to himself, putting the cap on the sunscreen bottle and then slipping it back into his bag. When he looked up again, a woman was watching him with a soft look on her face. “Hello,” she said. 

“Hi,” Harry answered, shooting her a welcoming smile. “I’m Harry.”

The woman reached her hand up to shake Harry’s. “I’m Liz,” she said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Harry answered kindly. 

“Is he yours?” The woman asked, nodding to where Robbie had skipped off. 

Harry found himself nodding proudly. “Yeah. He’s mine,” he said with a small smile. “Do you have any kids here?”

The woman nodded. “Yeah. I have two. Danica and Michelle,” she said, pointing out to where two identical girls were playing on the playground. They had dark hair that dropped long, down to their waists. They looked older than Allie and Robbie. 

“They’re so cute,” Harry gushed, smiling back at Liz. “How old are they?”

“They’re six,” the woman answered, still watching as her girls played on the slide with a fond smile on her face. It was the kind of smile every parent got when they looked at their kids. “But they’re going to be seven soon.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “They’re twins?” He asked, looking over to the girls again. Sure enough, they were absolutely identical. 

“Yeah,” Liz said, laughing breathlessly. “And it’s a lot of work.”

“Tell me about it,” the twenty four year old said, rolling his eyes a little. “It’s twice as much work as any other kid. And they each seem to have twice as much energy as well.”

Liz furrowed her brow a little. “You have twins?” She asked in confusion. 

Harry nodded, feeling the pride well up in his chest again. “Yeah,” he said, smiling again. “Robbie and Allie. They’re four.”

“Oh, I didn’t see Allie. Is she here?” Liz asked, her eyes widening a little. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah, she’s right-” he turned around, before freezing. His eyes darted around the playground, but he didn’t see the little girl. Actually, he didn’t see Robbie either. The playground wasn’t that big and it wasn’t that busy, but he couldn't see any sign of the twins. 

He stood up to his feet, his eyes darting around the playground. They weren’t on the slides, they weren’t on the swings, they weren’t in the glass tunnel, they weren’t on the seesaws, they weren’t on the climbing structure. He couldn’t see them anywhere. 

Liz seemed to pick up on his distress, as she stood up as well. She followed the man’s gaze in confusion. “Harry?” She asked tentatively. “What is it?”

“I can’t find them,” Harry breathed, panic lacing his tone. His head was darting all around, looking around desperately. But they weren’t there. Weren’t on the playground anymore. “I can’t find them. They’re not there. They’re not on the playground.”

Liz’s eyes widened as she too started looking around the playground. “They’re not there?” She repeated, searching around the playground with her eyes. “Where could they be?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Harry said. His feet were already moving towards the playground without even realizing what he was doing. His eyes were still scanning the place for the four year olds. He couldn’t see them anywhere. Panic was welling up in his throat. 

Harry scanned the playground, but didn’t find them. “Allie! Robbie!” He called, his eyes tunnelling with panic. It was getting harder to breathe. “Allie! Robbie!” His voice was panic-ridden. 

He could feel Liz right beside him, searching around as well, calling out their names. But there was no response. They weren’t on the playground anymore. That was confirmed as Harry got closer and looked. They just weren’t there. 

Harry could feel the panic rising to its full effect. His chest was tight and his breath was barely coming out of his restricted throat. His head snapped around as he looked for them, but they weren’t there. He could barely breathe anymore. 

_ He lost them. They were gone. Someone must have recognized him with them and grabbed them. They could be anywhere. Or with anyone. They could be lost. Or kidnapped. He couldn’t find them. They were gone. He lost them. He was never going to see them again. Allie and Robbie were gone. They were- _

“Daddy!” 

Harry’s head snapped over to the sound of it. He felt himself freeze as his eyes slowly lifted to look over in the direction of the field only a few meters away. It almost sounded like...

It was. Sure enough, there was Robbie, standing in the field. He was standing there with a smile on his face, waving his arms over his head at Harry. And just a few feet away from him was Allie. 

Harry felt like he could fall over in relief. Without another second, he was running over towards them as fast as he could. Probably faster than he had moved in a long time. He ran to the field, before dropping to his knees in front of them. 

“Oh my god,” he breathed as he pulled Robbie into his arms, pulling him close and burying his face into the boy’s hair. “Oh my god, Robbie. Oh my god.”

Allie furrowed her brows at that, slowly making her way over to the pair of them. “Daddy?” She asked hesitantly. But Harry didn’t respond, just pulled the girl into the hug as well. 

Harry just gripped them tightly, trying to calm himself down again. The two twins just stayed still, probably picking up on the fact that their father needed this. Harry buried his face in their hair, holding tightly as if he never planned on letting go. 

Until he did. Harry pulled away from the hug after a little while, backing away to look at them. “What are you doing?” He exclaimed, his face turning from relieved to stern. “I told you to play on the playground together. Not run over to the field!”

“We wanted to play here,” Allie argued softly, frowning a little. “We like to play footie.”

Harry frowned at that. “Footie?” He repeated, furrowing his brows. “Since when have you… you mean football?”

“Well… today!” Exclaimed Robbie happily, chewing on his bottom lip. “We like playing footie. And we like playing on the field. We always do.”

“You don’t come here without telling me,” Harry said strictly, his hands still gripping the four year olds. “Do you know how scared you made me? You can’t just run off without telling me!”

And the twins had the decency to look sheepish and guilty. Allie looked downwards and Robbie’s bottom lip trembled. “Sorry daddy,” the boy said softly. 

“Yeah, sorry daddy,” Allie echoed. 

Harry just sighed, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. “Just… don’t do that ever again,” he said slowly. “You can’t go anywhere by yourselves.”

“But we weren’t by ourselves,” Allie argued, a small frown on her face. “We were with Lou.”

It took Harry three seconds to process what his daughter had said. And then his heart stopped beating inside his chest. 

His head snapped up faster than it ever had. Sure enough, there he was. Standing only a few feet away, dressed in gym shorts and a t-shirt and a football between his feet, was Louis Tomlinson. Harry felt his breath hitch in his throat when he caught sight of the other man, instinctively hugging the kids closer. 

Louis just looked down at the other man, his face twisted. “Uh, hey Haz,” he said, somewhat awkwardly as he itched his head, a nervous/shaky smile on his face. 

“L-Louis,” gaped Harry, his eyes going wide. He swallowed thickly, trying his best not to let his eyes drop below the other man’s face because- hot damn. He had sweat coating his body, causing his clothes to stick to his body. His face was also a little flushed, which meant that he had been working out for a while now. Which had always turned Harry on when they were together. 

He was drawn back to reality by Allie tugging her small arm out of his grasp. “Are you mad, daddy?” She asked innocently, her eyes wide. 

Harry was quick to pull his gaze away from Louis, trying his best to ignore the heat in his cheeks and the twitch in his pants. “Uh, no…” he said, trying his best to keep his voice from shaking. “I was scared and I will be mad if you do it again. Just… don’t ever do something like that again. You gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry daddy,” Robbie said, his voice trembling a little. His eyes were also a little glassy, Harry noted. 

He sighed, pulling Robbie over and placing a kiss onto his head. “It’s okay now, baby,” he said gently, hugging him tightly. “Just don’t do it again.”

“So can we still play footie?” Allie asked, her eyes shining hopefully. “Lou says I’m getting good at it!”

Harry swallowed thickly, casting a glance up at Louis. He regretted it instantly, because he felt his dick twitch again. God, he needed a wank. This wouldn’t be happening now if he had been able to get off like a normal person without having two four year olds always waiting for him outside the door. 

Louis shrugged. “She’s really good,” he said to Harry, not even noticing how uncomfortable he was. “Robbie too. They’re naturals.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Harry swallowed, looking back down at the four year olds. “Yeah, you can keep playing. That is, uh, if Louis doesn’t mind…”

“He doesn’t,” Allie said, at the same time as Louis said, “I don’t.”

  
“Okay then,” Harry said slowly, clearing his throat and standing up (thanking every god above that he opted out of wearing skinny jeans today.) “You can keep playing then. And I can just watch and see how good you really are.”

The twins got a really big smile on their faces. “Yay!” They cheered, rushing out of Harry’s arms and over to Louis. The older man was already kicking the ball towards them. 

And really, they were naturals. They were actually amazing for kids who had barely played the game in their entire lives. The only time they actually did was when Harry or Niall got the football out of Harry’s garage and kicked it around with them. But even then, it wasn’t real football. It was just fun. 

But now, Louis was actually taking the time to teach them. He was running around with them, kicking the ball with them and teaching them proper form and stuff. They would even do a few drills and would practice shooting into the net. And it was clear that the twins really were naturals. They were amazing. 

And Louis was just something else. Harry guiltily found himself eyeing the other man down several times, and he would always blush furiously each time he caught himself. Because really, he should be watching his kids, not his ex-boyfriend.

But it was hard. Louis was just so… Louis. He was hot on a normal day (anyone could see that, it was NOT just Harry), but when he was playing football, he was something else. His body was glistening with a sheen coat of sweat that reflected off of his tan skin, making him glow. His clothes were just tight enough so that you could see all his muscles working underneath them, and his hair was brushed back and out of his face. He looked hot. 

And the way he moved with the football, almost as if he could control it. He would kick the ball with such grace and coordination, moving it just the way he wanted it to go. It was almost as if they were one when he was with it. It was entrancing. 

One time, Louis actually caught Harry staring. Harry was just casually checking out his ass. And it wasn’t his fault- ANY sane person who could would stare for just a second too long at that ass. But still, Louis looked over just as Harry was staring blatantly at him. Harry’s eyes darted away immediately, but he knew he had been caught. His cheeks burned in a bright red flush, and he caught Louis smirking. 

After that, Harry had forced himself to only watch his children playing. And if his eyes darted over to Louis once or twice, no one needed to know that. 

After about an hour of playing, the twins skipped over to him, Louis trailing a few feet behind them. “Did you see?” Allie asked excitedly, her cheeks red and her eyes bright. “Did you see, daddy?”

Harry smiled proudly at him. “I saw, love. You did great!” He gushed, patting him on the cheek. 

“Me too, daddy?” Robbie chirped. His face was flushed and his hair was swept back, looking identical to Louis’. 

“You too, love. You both did great,” he said sweetly to the boy, pressing a kiss to his hair. “Are you ready to go yet?”

In sync, the two of them shook their heads from side to side. “No!” Allie exclaimed, hopping up and down on spot. “We wanna keep playing!”

Harry opened his mouth to say something. Probably make up some bullshit excuse so that he could have a reason to not let them stay any longer. But then Louis was speaking before he got the chance to say anything. “I can stay if they wanna keep playing,” he offered. “Or I can watch them if you wanna go. I can swing by and drop them off after.”

“No,” Harry said hastily. Probably too quickly, since he saw the way Louis’ face fell. So he was quick to jump in again. “I mean, uh, I wanna stay too.” 

Louis blinked at him, surprised. “Oh, uh, okay,” he said, clearly taken a little aback. “Great.”

“Yay!” Robbie said, grabbing Harry by the hand. “Come play with us daddy!”

Harry just shook his head from side to side. “No no no,” he said, tugging his hand away. “No, I can’t- I don’t really play footie…”

“Lou can teach you,” Allie said easily, grabbing her father’s other hand and starting to pull him along as well. “Come on, daddy! Come play with us!”

“Oh, I’ve tried to teach your daddy how to play,” Louis said, his eyes twinkling at Harry, dancing with mirth. “But he’s not nearly as good as you two. Kind of a lost cause, really.”

And really, Harry was weak to those eyes. “Lost cause?” He scoffed, his feet already moving over to them. He walked over to where Louis was standing, hands on his hips with the football between his feet. “I’ll show a lost cause, Tomlinson.”

Louis raised his eyebrows at that. “Bring it on, Styles,” he challenged. “If you can kick that ball into the net, then you win.”

“What do I win?” Taunted Harry. And if his tone sounded a little sexual, well, that wasn’t his fault. Just like it wasn’t his fault that his dick decided that it would be a good day to get excited. Just like it wasn’t his fault that Louis looked hot as hell. Just like it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t remember the last time he had a good wank

God, he was a mess. 

Louis swallowed thickly, picking up on Harry’s tone. But thankfully, he shook himself off again. “Um, if you win… I’ll buy ice cream after this,” he said. The twins gasped at the mention of it. 

Harry smirked. “Bring it on,” he said, narrowing his eyes. 

“Oh, we will,” Louis said, grabbing each of the twins by the hand and pulling them over. He whispered something to each of them, and then they giggled, glancing back at Harry and nodding. Louis then ruffled their heads, before making their way to a defensive stance around the net. 

Harry took a deep breath as he looked down at the ball. He actually sucked at footie. Like, majorly sucked. Louis used to try and help him while they dated, but they never had time and Harry was a lost cause. 

But he was never one to back down from a challenge either. 

So, taking the ball between his feet, he gave it a kick. The ball rolled a few feet, before stopping again. 

“Boo!” Louis jeered, his eyes dancing. “My grandma can kick balls better than you!”

Harry looked up and pouted. “I was just practicing!” He shouted back, a pretend frown on his face as he pretended to be offended. When really, his heart was racing inside his chest. “Now shut up while I try to focus!”

Thankfully, Louis decided to stop heckling him, which helped him focus. Harry ran over to the ball again and kicked it again. The ball went a little off to the side, but it still moved forward, so Harry was going to count that as a win. 

He ran up and kicked it a few more times across the field, until he was getting closer. He ran up behind the ball, focusing harder now. He kicked it a few more times, until he was nearly past both of the twins. He ducked past Allie, then Robbie. He was at the net, ready to kick the winning shot. 

Until he was tackled to the ground. 

Harry had the breath knocked out of him as his back hit the grass. He gasped when he landed on the ground, a bigger body landing right on top of him. He blinked a few times, completely shocked by what had just happened. And sure enough, there were two blue eyes looking right back down at him. 

“Hey!” Harry exclaimed once he had caught his breath. He hit Louis on the chest, from where he was hovering over him. “You cheated!”

“I did not,” Louis shot back, his eyes dancing. “I played perfectly fair, Princess. You just suck.”

Harry huffed and hit him on the chest again. “You’re so mean,” he whined, but there was no real heat behind his words. “You should have just let me have my moment. I was doing so good.”

Louis just smirked at him. “Alright, you keep telling yourself that,” he said, patting Harry on the chest as he pushed himself off of him. “But the fact still remains that you didn’t actually make that point.”

Harry frowned, propping himself up on his forearms. “Wait, that’s not fair,” he pouted. “You cheated and I want ice cream.”

“Me too! Me too!” Allie and Robbie exclaimed as they ran over to the pair of them. “We want ice cream too!”

“Alright, alright,” Louis said, laughing a little. “I’ll get you ice cream.”

Harry smiled, pushing himself off of the grass. Maybe this day hadn’t turned out so horribly after all. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if I’m updating early, but i just want to. im sad and crying, my friends suck, i cant sleep and i dont want to eat today. 
> 
> but i want to update cos you guys make me feel better. leave comments please. i like reading them ❤️

A few minutes later, the four of them were standing in line of a local ice cream/sorbet shop. It was a pretty small building that was only five minutes from the playground. But despite its size, it was pretty busy. The line went all the way out of the store. 

Allie and Robbie were talking animatedly together about football. They were clearly still excited and pumped up on adrenalin, since their faces were quite big and expressive. It was quite cute. 

Seeing as they were occupied, Harry scooted over and nudged Louis in the arm. “You know I was joking, right?” He said, lowering his voice so that only Louis could actually hear. “I wasn’t actually trying to make you buy us ice cream, you know.”

Louis just looked down at him and smiled so that his eyes crinkled in the corners. God, Harry missed that smile. “I know, Haz,” he said lightly. “But I wanted to. Besides, I don’t think that those kiddos would go home without ice cream.”

“Still,” Harry said, feeling a little guilty already. “You didn’t have to. I could have just gotten it for them.”

“I wanted to,” Louis said, his voice lowering as well. “And besides, it’s not like it’s a big drain in my bank account or anything to buy four ice creams. Let’s not pretend that either of us is lacking in our bank accounts.”

The curly haired man snorted at that. “Yeah, okay,” he said, feeling a little better. “Just remember… This was your idea. I’m not making you do this.”

“‘Course,” Louis answered easily. He had a satisfied smile on his face, but Harry chose not to read into that too much. 

Instead, he crouched down to prod the four year olds. “Okay, let’s decide what you want to get before we go inside so that we aren’t holding up the line while you pick,” Harry said to them. 

“Oki,” Robbie said easily. “What kinds?”

“I want cookie dough!” Allie exclaimed. Not that Harry was surprised about that. The girl was literally addicted to cookie dough ice cream. It was all she ever ordered whenever they were out to get ice cream. 

“Ok,” Harry nodded. “And Robbie, you gotta get sorbet. Do you want cherry, watermelon, kiwi or strawberry?”

The small boy frowned for a second. “Hmm… I wanna get cherry!”

“Cherry and cookie dough it is!” Louis said happily, smiling at them. He then looked up at Harry, pursuing his lips. “What do you want, Haz?”

Harry then frowned a little, looking over to the list of flavours. He had to squint his eyes to try and see them, but it was still kinda hard to read. “Hmm… I don’t know…” he said slowly. 

Louis snorted, causing the curly haired man to look at him. He furrowed his brows when he saw Louis raising his eyebrows at him. “That’s bullshit,” Louis said, his eyes crinkling again. “You know what you want to get. Chocolate pudding ice cream.”

Harry’s eyes widened a little at that. For some reason, he hadn’t thought that Louis would still know his favourite kind of ice cream. “They have that?” He asked skeptically, looking over at the flavour list again. “They never have that.”

“‘Course they have it. Why do you think I decided to go here?” The older said with a raised eyebrow. “They’re most famous for carrying the weird flavours. For weird people who like pudding flavoured ice cream.”

“It’s not weird,” Harry said defensively. “And you wouldn’t know, because you never tried it.”

“I never tried it because it’s weird,” Louis pointed out. 

And really, it was kind of strange. It felt so normal for Harry, standing in line to get ice cream with Louis. It was just like they used to do whenever they stopped in cities on tours. They would find some unpopular ice cream joints and go on dates there. 

Only this time it was different. Because this time, there were two four year olds standing at their knees. And this time it wasn’t a date- it was just… Harry didn’t know what it was. But it wasn’t a date. And this time they were boyfriends, they were just… friends. 

So maybe it wasn’t almost the same as it used to be. But it still gave him a strange sort of nostalgia. 

Harry was brought back to reality by a body stumbling into his own. An older woman walked right into him, nearly falling over. “Woah!” Harry exclaimed, grabbing onto the old woman before she could fall to the ground. Louis’ arm darted out to steady them. 

“Oh, sorry dear!” The older woman said, her eyes widening in shock as she slowly stood up again. “I guess I wasn’t watching where I was going!”

“It’s alright,” Harry said, swallowing and pretending that he hadn’t been taken by surprise and nearly been knocked over. “We’re fine. Are you alright?”

The woman nodded. “Oh yes, I’m fine. I was just a little clumsy,” she said, shaking her head at herself. “Need to watch where I’m going, I guess. Sorry about that again. I hope I didn’t give you too bad of a scare.”

Harry just laughed a little, shakily. “No, no. We’re fine,” he said. 

“Good,” the woman said. “Well, I’ll just leave you to it. Wouldn’t want to ruin this lovely family trip any more than I already have. Again, I’m so sorry about it.”

“It’s fine, really,” Louis said kindly, before adding. “It happens. Harry would know that more than anyone.” Harry flushed a little, elbowing the other man in the ribs in response to that joke. 

The woman laughed a little. “You two are so sweet. And these little angels are adorable- good job!”

Harry nearly choked at that. His breath hitched in his throat, and he struggled to keep his face neutral. “Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice quivering a little anxiously. Because first she thought they were a family and then she congratulated them on having cute kids. Was it really that obvious?

Thankfully, the woman decided to leave before she could make anymore comments that would make Harry burst out into a nervous sweat. She said a quick goodbye, before bustling off again. The two men didn’t say anything else for the remainder of the wait. 

When they got to the front of the line, there was a younger man standing at the front. He was probably in his mid twenties, and was wearing an apron. He looked up and smiled when they got to the front. “Hello!” He said to them. “What can I get for you today?”

“Hey,” Louis said. “Can we get four small ice cream cones?”

The guy nodded. “Sure,” he said. “What flavour does everyone want?”

“Can we get a cookie dough for this little lady, a cherry sorbet for the little boy, a chocolate pudding ice cream and I’ll take a mint chocolate chip,” Louis said, already pulling out his wallet. He took out a few dollar bills out of it.    
  
The man nodded. “Coming right up,” he said. The girl who was behind him nodded, and started getting the ice creams ready on the cones from the glass while the man ran up the total. “That’ll be twelve dollars.”

“Twelve?” Louis repeated with a frown, looking up at the pricings above once more. Sure enough, they were supposed to be four dollars each. “But we ordered  _ four  _ ice creams. Shouldn’t it be sixteen?”

The man shrugged, before looking over at Harry. “The chocolate pudding is on the house,” he said, and Harry noticed the way his black eyes twinkled at him a little, before slowly trailing down his body. He swallowed thickly, stiffening. 

Thankfully, the girl had finished scooping their ice creams and handed it to them. The kids grabbed theirs eagerly, practically smushing their entire faces into the cone. Louis grabbed the other two, before slamming sixteen dollars onto the counter. 

“Keep the change, then,” he nearly growled. They were out of the ice cream shop before either the man could say anything else. 

***

It was actually really nice. Harry didn’t think it would be, but it was. 

After they got their ice cream, they went back to the playground, as per Allie and Robbie’s request. It was getting later in the day, but neither of them seemed to mind, so it wasn’t a big deal. Plus, they wanted to play on the actual playground instead of footie. 

So they went back and finished their ice creams. The twins then ran off to play on the playground again, and Harry headed over to the tables, this time with Louis in tow. He thought it was going to be estranged and awkward, just the two of them there. 

But it really wasn’t. They didn’t talk about Syco. They didn’t talk about their past. They didn’t talk about their love lives. It was like they were friends. Just sitting and catching up together. It wasn’t at all like they were ex-boyfriends. Just friends. 

They talked about Allie and Robbie. They talked about music. They talked about the tours they’ve done during the hiatus. They gossiped about the other boys. They talked about Niall’s new girlfriend. They talked about movies, books, shows, and hobbies. Basically anything other than the big stuff. 

And it was nice. 

“Hold on,” Louis said, putting his hands up in the air. “So you mean to tell me that you haven't actually met his girlfriend?”

Harry shook his head, taking a lick out of his ice cream. “Nope,” he said, shaking his head back and forth. “I’ve seen pictures of her and heard stories about her, but I haven’t actually met her yet.”

“How long have they been going out?” Louis asked, furrowing his brows as he took a bit off a piece of his ice cream cone. “I know they were dating at the party a little while ago. Was it new then?”

“I mean, it’s sorta new,” Harry answered with a shrug. “I don’t really know how long they’ve been going out for. They used to be casual, where they would just get drunk and hook up. And they could hook up with other people too, I think. I don’t really know what it was at the start, but that went on for a few months. And then recently they got serious.”

Louis hummed, looking thoughtful. “Still,” he said. “If they were ‘casual’ for a few months, don’t you think he would have brought her over at some point? For like, approval or something?”

“Approval?” Harry snorted. “Trust me, nobody wants my relationship advice. Besides, I don’t think he would have. I’m pretty sure they were just bed-buddies for a while, which isn’t really the type of thing you introduce to your best mate and his kids.”

“But they’ve been dating since the party, right? And that was a few weeks ago. Shouldn’t he have brought her around sometime during then, since he practically lives at your house?” Louis asked, finishing off his ice cream cone. 

Harry just frowned a little at that, remembering how Niall had cancelled on him for the third time today. “Not anymore,” he commented dryly. “He doesn’t really come around anymore.”

Louis’ eyebrows shot up his head at that, looking surprised. “He doesn’t?” He asked in disbelief. “He has his own room and everything, though. Don’t you two hang out all the time?”

“Well, we were supposed to tonight,” Harry mumbled dejectedly. “But he made plans with his girlfriend last minute, so that’s not happening. Which would be fine- and it is fine! It’s just that this is the third time this week. I haven’t seen him since recording.”

“Over a girl that you haven’t met?” The older said, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s stupid.”

Harry just shrugged, fingering the patterns on the cement table. “I don’t know. She makes him happy, so…” he said, trailing off quietly. He chewed on his bottom lip, feeling guilty for talking about his best friend and his girlfriend behind his back. 

  
  
  


But Louis just shrugged. “But that’s still not a good enough reason to cancel,” he said. “He shouldn’t cancel all your plans over a girl so quickly. That’s not fair and it’s a bitch-move.”

Harry just shrugged again, feeling bad again. Niall was his best friend and he was happy, which meant that Harry didn’t have a right to be angry about that. He was just being annoying and clingy, probably. He should just be happy about them, not complaining to his ex-boyfriend. 

He was about to say something else when he was cut off by the sound of a phone ringing loudly. It caused both men to jump a little in their places, looking over at Louis’ phone that was on the table next to them. 

Louis picked it up, squinting at the number. His face dropped into a frown when he saw the number. “It’s Eleanor,” he said, answering Harry’s curious expression. “Sorry, I have to take this quickly.”

Harry’s face dropped. “Oh,” he said, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. He swallowed thickly, but that didn’t help the tightness he felt. “I should go-”

Louis’ arm shot out before he could make a move to stand up from the table. His arm wrapped around Harry’s thin arm, keeping him from getting up. “No, don’t go,” he urged him. “This will only take a second, I swear.”

“No, Louis, I-” He said, his voice betraying him and wavering just a little bit. He stopped swallowing thickly.  _ Pull it together.  _ “I can’t- just, um, take it. I have to go.”

“Harry,” Louis said in alarm when Harry tried to pull his arm out of his grasp. But once again, Louis was too strong and he couldn't yank his arm away, “Harry, shit, stop. What’s wrong?”

But Harry just shook his head. “Let me go, Louis. I’m going. You can talk to your  _ girlfriend _ .” He didn’t even realize that he spat the word out with such hate and venom until it was too late and he had already said it. 

Louis froze, a strange look coming over his face. “Harry…” he said slowly, his brows pulled together in the middle of his head and a frown on his face. He put the phone back on the table, having forgotten about it. “Harry, what are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Harry said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “God, I’m so stupid. I have to go. And obviously you have better things to do rather than talking to me, like talking to your girlfriend. I’m so stupid.”

“What are you talking about?” Louis asked incredulously, his frown deepening. “You’re talking shit. You know she isn’t my girlfriend. You know that.”

Harry froze. Everything just seemed to stop for him. His eyes snapped up to look at Louis’ confused blue ones. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. His mind tried to think, but it was too frozen. He felt like he had just been dunked in a bucket of ice water. 

Louis’ face then changed. It slowly morphed from confusion to a mix of horror and disbelief. “Wait. You… you  _ didn’t _ know?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Harry’s just blinked at him in confusion. Louis ran a hand through his hair. “Shit. God. Fuck, Harry. You didn’t  _ know?” _

“Louis, what are you…” he trailed off, too scared to finish the sentence. His voice was shaking now, and he couldn’t stop it. His eyes were trained widely on Louis, watching his every move. 

Because,  _ no. _ He couldn’t be saying what Harry thought he was saying. He couldn’t- not after all these years of Harry waiting and praying for him to say those words. He couldn’t. It wasn’t possible that… it just wasn’t possible. 

“Eleanor and I aren’t dating,” Louis said, looking at Harry with wide eyes. “We’ve never dated, Haz. She’s a beard.”

Harry shook his head, his mind whirling. “No.  _ No,”  _ he said shakily. “She was a beard in 2015. That contract ended. You started dating for real this time. There’s no contract this time-”

“Harry,” Louis said slowly, his grip tightening on the other man’s arm. “She’s always been a beard. I signed another contract. It’s never been real.”

Harry shook his head back and forth. ‘ _ No, no, no. This isn’t happening. This isn’t real. They’re dating. He left you for her. They’re together, and you’re not. This isn’t real. He’s lying.’  _ Why?” He asked blankly. 

“They made me, Harry. They made me sign the contract,” he said lowly, his blue eyes wide and honest. “And I was scared. They said it would be better, that I would ever sell a single album without it. And I believed them, so I signed again. It was stupid, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

  
  


“That’s not…” Harry said, swallowing thickly as he tried to wrap his mind around everything. “That’s not true. What about… what about Freddie?”

“He’s eight. We couldn’t tell him the truth. He wouldn’t be able to keep that to himself, especially now that he’s in school,” Louis explained slowly. “But, Harry, are you being serious right now? You mean to tell me that you didn’t know? You’ve never known all this time?”

“This isn’t real,” Harry murmured, lost. He shook his head back and forth slowly, the words not sinking in. Because there was no way… “You’re lying. You’re dating her. And you l-love her. That’s why you… that’s why you left-”

Louis’ face fell. “Haz…” he whispered, brokenly. “Please don’t…  _ Hazza… _ ”

“You left me for her!” Harry yelled, unable to stop the few tears that leaked out from under his eyes. He brought his free hand up to furiously try and scrub them away, but it was too late. Louis had already seen them. 

If possible, he looked even more heartbroken. “No, Harry,  _ no,”  _ he said weakly. “God, is that… is that what you thought? God, Hazza…”

“Don’t call me that!” Harry nearly screamed, ripping his arm out of Louis’ grasp. He stumbled back a little when he finally succeeded in pulling his arm away, but caught himself. He looked up wildly to see Louis staring, wide eyed, at him. 

“Harry…” Louis said softly, reaching out for him again. 

But Harry took a few steps back. “Don’t touch me!” He yelled, walking backwards while his eyes stared wildly over at Louis. “Don’t touch me!”

They had drawn attention to themselves. A few parents were gathered around, looking at them in shock and concern. A few even tried to crowd around them, but took a step back when they saw how hysterical Harry was becoming. Allie and Robbie ran over to them, looking scared. 

“Daddy?” Robbie asked quietly, his tone shaking a little. 

Harry looked down at him, before scooping the boy into his arms and holding him close. He then snatched up Allie’s hand in his own, stepping further away from Louis. “We’re leaving,” he said, walking backwards with the two chidlren. 

Louis didn’t stop him. He just sat there, watching brokenly as Harry left with the two small children. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all so amazing. I have said this millions of times, but I am literally so grateful for all of you. You are so supportive and honestly make my day so much better. Love you all to the moon and back ❤️
> 
> Anyways, this chapter is gonna (hopefully) clear some stuff up. But if any part is unclear or if you still have a question, please tell me in the comments. I promise I will get back to you :)

Allie and Robbie were fast asleep after they ate dinner. Running around all day and playing on the playground must have worn them out, since they went out like a light. It was six thirty, and they just seemed to crash as soon as their head hit the pillows. 

Harry barely even got a chance to say goodnight and kiss their heads before the four years olds were fast asleep. 

Normally, that would be a good thing. Usually he never got a second to himself when they were awake, and it was exhausting. The nights were the only times when he got a chance to do what he wanted. Have some fun without having to worry about the kids for a change. 

Usually, he and Niall would be having a great time. They would be watching movies, gossiping, drinking and pigging out. And it was always a lot of fun and it made Harry feel like a normal twenty four year old. Instead of just a heartbroken father who couldn’t have any fun ever. 

But now Niall was gone, leaving him alone in the house. The bottle of wine was sitting, unopened on the counter. The ice cream they were going to eat was alone in the fridge. And Harry was sitting on the couch, lonely as ever. 

The house was quiet. Too quiet. There wasn’t a sound in the entire house. And he hated it. The silence just made him all the more alone. 

Harry headed over to the kitchen table, feeling more alone than he had in a long time. And he hated it. He hated feeling alone because it just made him realize what a sad excuse of a life he was living. It sucked, and he just wanted it to go away. 

But when it didn’t go away, he decided that he needed to do something to dull the loneliness. So he reached over and grabbed the wine bottle that he had been saving for him and Niall to drink together. Without a second thought, he cracked it open. 

“Cheers,” he said quietly to himself, raising the bottle as if making a toast. “To myself. And to loneliness.” With that, he tipped the bottle backwards into his mouth, swallowing a giant gulp of it. 

After swallowing, he nodded to himself.”Good wine,” he commented to the empty room, nodding as if talking to someone that wasn’t himself. “Niall is really missing out. Getting laid isn’t nearly as great as getting drunk.”

He then paused and frowned. “Well, not that I’d know,” he commented dryly to himself. “I haven’t gotten laid in forever. God, that’s pathetic. I’m twenty four and probably haven’t gotten laid in over a year. Should probably do that before I forget what an orgasm feels like.”

Harry sighed to himself. Now he was just feeling worse and worse. “And now I’m going crazy,” he said to himself, chuckling a little. “This is pathetic. I’m going to need more wine tonight.” He tipped the bottle back again, relishing at the alcohol burning down his throat. 

Harry didn’t even realize that he had headed into the living room. He was just walking, going wherever his feet were taking him. In his hand was the bottle of wine, along with a tub of ice cream that he fully planned on eating all by himself. 

Just because Niall wasn’t coming to hang out, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t have his own party. And if it was a pity party, then so be it. 

Harry slumped down onto the couch, wine and ice cream in hand as he made himself comfortable. But even his couch seemed too big for just him. When he curled up in it, the cushions practically swallowed him whole and made him look tiny compared to the couch. 

All the more reason to feel lonely. 

“I should do something,” Harry said as he shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “I should watch a movie. Yeah, a movie sounds great. I could watch a movie. There’s plenty of movies for sad, lonely people to watch.” 

He then got an idea. “Oh! I should watch a happy movie!” He exclaimed, suddenly getting a little excited about the idea. “Like, one about cute puppies. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll watch a funny movie about cute little puppies. That will make me feel better.”

Somehow he ended up putting on Marley And Me.

***

Harry jumped when he heard a knock at the door. His head snapped over towards the door, wiping his tear-filled eyes. He didn’t know who would be showing up at his door. Especially since it was nearly midnight. 

His first thought was that it was Niall. Maybe he realized that it was a bitch-move to cancel last minute on Harry for the third time that week, and decided to show up last minute. But then Harry remembered that it was Niall. He wasn‘t going to leave his girlfriend to show up at Harry’s at midnight. 

Especially since he was probably having sex right that very minute and Harry was probably the furthest from his mind at the moment. 

Then he thought it was the postman delivering something. But that thought was squashed out of his mind once he realized that it was far too late for any packages to be being delivered. So it couldn’t possibly be the postman. 

And if it wasn’t Niall and it wasn’t the postman, the options were very limited. Those were the two people who showed up at Harry’s house the most. It couldn’t be Gemma or his mum, since they would have texted beforehand. And they also wouldn’t have knocked, just walked in. 

His next thought was that it was a thief. Someone breaking into his house to steal from him. The thought nearly made Harry choke as he paled in fear. Someone might be at his unlocked door, waiting to break in and rob him. 

He jumped when there was another knock at his door, this time it was a little louder. Fear gripped Harry’s heart as he slowly rose to his feet. His mind was frozen in fear as he silently picked up his ice cream spoon, which was right next to him on the coffee table. 

Ever so slowly, he walked over towards his front door. He was terrified, each step only making him more and more scared of what was behind the door. He gripped the spoon tightly in his fist, fully preparing himself to attack the robber that was behind the door. He got to the door, and pressed his ear up against it. To his horror, he heard breathing coming from the other end. 

Harry took a deep breath, before throwing the door open. 

Only to come face to face with Louis Tomlinson. 

He nearly dropped his spoon in surprise. “Louis?” He asked, dumbfounded as he blinked stupidly at the older man. Louis was standing there, dressed in jeans and a hoodie, watching Harry with a sheepish expression. 

“Hey Harry,” he said awkwardly, shifting around on his feet. He looked to where Harry was raising the spoon, as if he was about to hit him with it, and raised an eyebrow. “Uh, what are you doing?”

Harry slowly put the spoon down, placing a hand on his racing heart as he felt relieved. “You scared the shit out of me, Louis!” He gasped, slumping down. “I thought you were a robber or something trying to break in.”

“So you were going to defend yourself…” Louis said slowly, eyeing his hand. “With a spoon.”

Harry huffed, lowering his hand as he leaned against the doorframe tiredly. “Oh shut up,” he mumbled tiedly, not rising up to the mock. “I grabbed what I saw and it happened to be a spoon. Leave me alone.”

“A spoon wouldn't be able to stop a robber, you know,” the older continued. “It wouldn't be able to stop anyone. It wouldn’t even be able to hold anyone off.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Next time I’ll grab my fork,” he snapped back, running a hand over his face. “Now are you here for a reason, or just a friendly little midnight visit?”

Louis ignored his snark in order to frown a little. “Can I come in?” He asked, shifting around a little on the doorstep. 

And Harry didn’t want to let him in. He really didn’t want to let him in. Not tonight. Not when the house was a mess and there was a half-empty wine bottle on the coffee table and tear stains on his face. But for some reason, he ignored every cell in his body, and let him inside. 

He stepped out of the way and motioned for Louis to step inside. The older did so, stepping into the house and closing the door behind him again. “Thanks,” he said softly. He stopped. “Hey, were you crying?”

“It’s fine,” he said quietly. “I was watching that sad dog movie and it- it doesn’t really matter. But, uh, why are you here?”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Louis said, clearing his throat. “Well, we need to talk. Whether you want to admit it or not, we really need to talk. We should have a long time ago, but I didn’t know how fucked up this really was until earlier today.”

“We already talked,” pointed out Harry, still keeping his gaze downwards. “A few weeks ago. We met at the Beachwood cafe.”

“We talked about Allie and Robbie, yes. But we didn’t talk about us,” the older said, looking Harry dead in the face. His eyes were practically burning holes in Harry’s skull from how hard he was staring. 

Harry was quick to shake his head. “We don’t have to,” he said hastily, shaking his head. “We don’t have to talk about that. I don’t want to.”

“We do have to talk about it, Harry. Hell, you thought I was dating Eleanor and I assumed you were dating Niall. We really have to talk about it,” Louis said, laughing humorlessly. “And we need to talk about it now. Before this gets out of hand.”

Harry just shook his head again. “I don’t want to, Louis. It-” He stopped suddenly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He was getting too worked up. Then, shakily, he continued. “It hurts too much.”

Louis’ eyes saddened. “Hazza,” he said softly. “Please. We need to do this. You’re killing yourself. We need to talk.”

Harry sighed wearily, running a hand through his hair and over his face. “Fine. What do you want to talk about, Louis?” He asked. “And hurry, I don’t have all night.”

“Actually, it looks like you do,” the older commented, glancing over towards the empty living room and the wine bottle with a raised eyebrow. “And this is important, Harry. Please, can we just go sit down and talk about it? Please Harry?”

And really, Harry was too weak for this. He was too weak to ever say no to Louis whenever he begged that way, and it was a problem. So, slowly, he sighed and nodded his head. “Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “Yeah. Let’s go into the living room. I’m gonna need more wine for this.”

So that was how they both ended up in Harry’s living room, sitting opposite from each other on the couch, passing the wine bottle between one another. Thankfully, Harry had a second bottle, so they cracked that open as well. 

“So,” he said once they were both settled on the couch. “You wanted to talk?”

Louis nodded, fiddling with his fingers. It was the type of thing he did whenever he was anxious about something. “Yeah,” he breathed, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, we need to talk. I want to talk.”

“Start talking then,” Harry said, trying his best to keep his voice monotone. He tried to sound as easy as he could, despite his obvious tipsiness and the tears on his face. But in reality, his heart was beating wildly inside of his chest. He was anxious and scared and nervous and any other words that could be used. In reality, he was terrified of what this was. 

Louis took a deep breath. “Well, uh, can you tell me about it? Like, you thought I was dating Eleanor?” He asked slowly, watching Harry’s face for a change in emotion. “Why? How- I don’t understand why you thought that.”

“Getting straight to the point,” Harry commented dryly as he brought the wine up to his mouth and took a swig. “I mean, it’s obvious. You two went on dates, you lived together, you posted pictures together. Couple stuff.”

“It was all fake,” Louis insisted, his eyes imploring as if he was pleading Harry to believe him. “All of it was fake and Management made me do it. I swear, it was never real.”

But Harry just shook his head sadly, curling in on himself. “It didn’t look fake,” he said, feeling his bottom lip quivering. “You must be a really good actor, Louis, because you really made it seem like you loved her.”

Louis’ face dropped and it looked like his heart broke a little more. “I didn’t- I  _ don’t  _ love her,” he said meaningfully, shifting forward like he was going to reach out for Harry. But then he thought better of it and sat back. “I swear that it was all fake. It’s never been real between us. Eleanor was just the beard, and that’s all she’ll ever be.”

“Then why didn’t Freddie say anything?” Harry asked, his brows furrowed in confusion as he thought back to the party. “Why didn’t he mention it? We even talked about Eleanor and he never said anything about it. If it isn’t real, then why?”

At that, Louis looked guilty. He looked downwards, now being the one underneath of Harry’s gaze. “He, uh, he doesn’t know,” he said slowly and quietly. “He’s only with me on the weekends every two weeks. I hardly ever see him, and when I do, Eleanor is usually away. So, we just didn’t tell him.”

“He doesn’t know!?” Harry exclaimed in shock. “Louis! He doesn’t know that you and Eleanor aren’t together? What’s he going to think when you finally stop pretending? Is he just going to assume that his step-mother bailed on him? Or what is he going to think when he learns the truth?”

“He’s eight,” argues Louis, running a hand through his hair. “He’s eight and doesn’t know when to stop talking. And I’m going to tell him, just not yet. I’ll tell him when this is all over and he’s older. I just… I can’t right now.”

Harry frowned at that. “You need to tell him,” he said quietly. 

“I will,” the older said with a long exhale. “But I didn’t come here for parenting advice.”

“When did you sign?” Harry asked bluntly, cringing a little. He hadn’t really wanted to ask that question, but it had been burning inside of him ever since their conversation earlier and it just slipped out without even realizing what he was saying. “When did you sign another contract?”

Louis swallowed thickly, looking downwards. Almost in shame. “It was after we… after we ended,” he said, his voice trailing off and wavering a little “When I was just starting my solo stuff. I signed with Syco for my solo stuff, and they wanted me to sign another contract for them.”

“And you said yes?” Harry asked, his own voice wavering dangerously but he didn’t even bother trying to keep it stable anymore. “You just agreed to it again? After you said that you wouldn’t sign another one? You just signed like that?”

“Well what was I supposed to do?” Louis snapped, running a hand over his face. “I needed to sign again or else they wouldn’t sign me! And, unlike you, I don’t have labels lining up to sign me. I needed that, and signing was the only way I could get it!”

Harry just shook his head a little. “You said you wouldn’t,” he mumbled. “You said that it was the last one. You said you wouldn’t sign another one. You promised.”

Louis sighed wearily. He looked older than he had earlier in the day. More worn and tired. He looked much older than twenty six. “Harry, we weren’t dating. And I needed to sign. It wasn’t personal,” he said heavily. 

Harry’s head snapped up. “Not personal!?” He yelled, his voice cracking. To his anger, his eyes burned with tears. “How the hell isn’t it personal?!”

“None of this is personal,” Louis snapped back. “Eleanor and I were never anything. None of the contract was personal- it was just business. That’s all it ever was. And it was like that for so long. I don’t understand why that’s so hard to understand.”

Harry stared at him blankly for a long time, before sighing heavily. “Forget it. You never understood,” he said, looking back down at his knees and hugging them closer to his chest. “You weren’t the one who had to see you walking around with someone else.”

“And you were never the one who had to parade around and pretend to be in love with someone you don’t,” the older responded, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s hard. It’s so fucking hard.”

“Oh poor you!” Harry snapped, the tears threatening to spill over. God, he hated that he wanted to cry. “You had to go on a couple fake dates because of a contract you signed up for! I had to sit here every night and see all those pictures of you and her looking happy. I had to look at articles and pictures of you being in love with someone else! I had to watch you fall in love with someone and know that it wasn’t me and that it would never be me! So I’m sorry that you had to walk around with a pretty girl and kiss her freely, but I was the one lying in bed and crying. And it fucking  _ hurt!” _

Louis’ angry demeanor dropped and his eyes widened. “Harry…” he said, shock written on his features. 

But Harry wasn’t done. “It hurt so bad, Louis! So don’t you dare tell me that it’s not personal! It’s always personal when it hurts someone as badly as it hurt me!” He shouted, a single tear escaping his eyes. He furiously swiped it away. 

Louis looked horrified. He shifted forwards unconsciously. And a small part of Harry wished he would reach out. Wished that he would pull him close and wrap his arms around him. But he didn’t. “Harry, I’m… I never wanted to hurt you. God, Harry…” he said softly, running a hand through his hair. “We weren’t together. I didn’t… I never meant for this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you…”

“Why?” Harry interrupted suddenly, his voice trembling. 

Louis frowned a little “Why, what?” he asked slowly. 

“You said you don’t love Eleanor,” Harry said, his voice becoming increasingly wobbly. 

“Right,” Louis said immediately, still sounding confused. 

“And you didn’t love anyone else, right?” 

“Right,” Louis said slowly, his frown deepening. “Harry, what are you talking about? Why are you asking these questions? You know I didn’t love anyone else.”

“Because if it wasn’t because of them,” Harry said, sniffling as his vision became blurry. “Then it was because of me. You left because of me.”

Louis paled, and he opened his mouth to say something. But Harry beat him to it. 

“It was because of me,” Harry choked out, feeling the tears finally spill over as the realization set in. “You left because of me! B-but I don’t understand. Was it something I did o-or something I s-said? Did I do something wrong? Did you just stop loving me? Was I not good enough? B-because I don’t understand, Louis!”

He was full-out crying now. Hugging himself closely as he cried softly. Tears were streaming down his face as he cried. His eyes squeezed closed as to not see Louis. But he couldn’t stop the sniffles and gasps and cries. 

Louis was across the couch in a second. “No, Harry,  _ no,”  _ he said, his voice breaking as he shifted over to the younger man. “It was never you. You were perfect. You’ve always been perfect, Harry. It was me that was fucked up. It was never because of you, I swear.”

“B-but you left!” Harry cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You left me. You w-wouldn’t have left if I had b-been better. You wouldn’t have left if you left if you loved me!”

At that, Louis didn’t stop himself from leaning forward and grabbing Harry into a tight hug. Their bodies fit together perfectly, with Harry’s face pressed into the crook of his head and Louis’ cheek resting comfortably on top of his head. 

“I did love you, Harry. I’ve never stopped loving you,” Louis said softly, his voice cracking in several different spots. “It wasn’t your fault. You were perfect. It was all my fault and I fucked it all up. It wasn’t you, baby, it was never you.”

“You wouldn’t have left if you loved me,” Harry whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut as a few more tears leaked out. He didn’t even care if it was Louis that was holding him right now, as he clung desperately onto the other man’s shirt. “You wouldn’t have left if I were good enough.”

“You were good enough, Harry. You were always good enough,” Louis said, a few of his own tears slipping down his cheeks. “It was me. I was the coward that ruined everything. You were perfect. I wasn’t. And I ruined everything. And I’m so, so sorry, Hazza. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t say no to them.”

Harry swallowed, pulling away just enough to look Louis in the eyes, not even caring that it meant showing him the tear tracks running down his cheeks or the brokenness in his eyes. He looked up, seeing Louis’ eyes swimming with their own tears. 

“Why did you leave?” He asked. It was the one question he had been asking himself everyday since they broke up. The one that had been echoing in his mind all those sleepless nights. That one question that was always lingering in the back of his mind, never fully going away. The question that he had been both anxious for and dreading at the same time. 

Louis took a long, shaky inhale so that Harry could feel it vibrate against his head. “I’m so sorry, Harry,” he said brokenly, his voice cracking. It sounded like he was crying, but Harry couldn’t tell. He didn’t dare lift his head to check either. “I was so stupid. I was such a fucking coward. T-they made me do it. They said I needed to, and I was too fucking scared to say no. I was a pathetic coward, Harry, and I’m so so sorry.”

“It…” the younger sniffled. “It wasn’t because of me?”

Louis squeezed him tightly. “Never, Hazza,” he said softly, sniffling. “It was because of me. It was always because of me. I was the one who broke your heart and- god, you were pregnant. You were pregnant with my babies and I left you. I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m so, so sorry for ruining everything.”

“It wasn’t me,” Harry mumbled, now speaking solely to himself. Almost as if he was convincing himself. “It wasn’t because of me.”

“Harry?” Louis asked slowly. “Are you okay?”

“Not yet,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Not yet. I just… I need some time to… I just need some time.”

Louis faltered. “Oh, okay,” he said slowly, nodding his head as he reached a hand up to swipe the tears that were in his eyes. He then shifted away from Harry, letting his arms fall away. “Yeah, okay. I can… I’ll just go then. Umm, yeah, I’ll leave…”

He moved to stand up and leave, but Harry reached out and caught his wrist before he could leave the couch. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “You’ve drank a lot of wine. You can’t drive home now. Just, uh, stay here tonight. You can stay in the guest room for tonight.”

Louis blinked at him, looking surprised. “Are you sure?” he asked cautiously, frowning a little. 

“Yeah,” the curly haired man said, nodding. “Yeah. I’m not gonna let you drive home after drinking half a bottle of wine. You can stay in the guest room and leave tomorrow.” Louis still was looking at him, unsure, and Harry nearly rolled his eyes. “Louis, I’m sure. I’m not gonna, like, freak out or anything.”

“Okay then,” Louis said slowly nodding a little. “Okay. Thank you, Harry.”

Harry tried to shoot him a reassuring smile, but he couldn’t. It looked more like a grimace than a smile, his lips still trembling as he sucked them in and willed himself not to cry. So instead of smiling, he just murmured “no problem,” and headed up to bed. 

But he knew that he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! I just wanted to say that this chapter is going to be a little shorter and kind of a filler chapter. But I hope you like it!!
> 
> Also, I just made an Instagram for this account @_pink.sunsets_   
> I’ll be doing a bunch of stuff for this story and future stories, so you should all go follow it :)

_ Harry sniffled, trying his best to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down his face. Trying was the key word here. The tears still came, dripping steadily down his cheeks and wetting the phone screen that he was holding.  _

_ He couldn’t look away. His eyes were glued on the news article from The Sun. He just couldn't stop staring at the headline. Almost like it was entrancing him- he found that he couldn’t look away from it, even as the tears fell down.  _

**One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson Out On A Hot Date With Girlfriend Eleanor Calder In London!**

_ And sure enough, there were pictures of Louis. One was of him and Eleanor, walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand. He was wearing the black jumper and the tunic that Harry always said he looked amazing in. He had his head down, ignoring the paps that had no doubt hounded him as soon as he stepped foot out of the car he had arrived in.  _

_ Eleanor looked pretty too. No, scratch that. She looked stunning in her tight dress and jean jacket. Her brown hair was half pulled up, while the other half cascaded down her shoulders. She looked beautiful, as always.  _

_ And she was holding Louis’ hand.  _

_ There was another picture of the two of them sitting inside of some fancy, romantic restaurant. They were at a booth together, eating italian food. It looked like they had gotten pasta of some kind. Pasta was Harry’s favourite.  _

_ They looked like they were having fun. Eleanor was smiling brightly, the kind of smile that looked like it was real and genuine. Harry didn’t think anyone could fake that kind of smile. Louis looked happy too. Well, he was eating- but he probably looked happy. It was hard to tell, but no doubt he would have been smiling too if he hadn’t had food in his mouth.  _

_ Harry didn’t even need to read the article. He didn’t want to. It would just talk about how cute the two of them were together and how happy they looked. Maybe there would be a line of two about the band or an upcoming tour or album, but that was it. The rest would be about the two of them.  _

_ How cute they were together. How happy they were together. How perfect they were together. How much they loved each other. The list went on and on. And Harry couldn’t bring himself to read another one of those articles.  _

_ He didn’t want to even be looking at the pictures, but he couldn’t help himself. They had just popped up and now he couldn’t look away from them. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the pair that were out on the town together.  _

_ Out. Together. On a date.  _

_ The thought made the tears leak down Harry’s cheeks all over again.  _

_ He didn’t know how long he had been staring unblinkingly at the phone until he was startled away by the sound of the front door of his flat opening and then slamming closed again. But he didn’t bother moving either as he heard the sound of someone walking inside the flat.  _

_ “Shit,” the person breathed. Their footsteps walked into the house. He heard the sound of shoes slipping off and then keys being placed onto the counter. Then the footsteps walked into the house, towards the living room. “Harry?” The voice called softly.  _

_ Harry swallowed thickly, but didn’t respond. He didn’t even bother moving from his position or turning the phone off. He just sat on the couch silently, his eyes still watching the phone as the tears poured down his face.  _

_ “Harry?” The voice of Louis called again, followed by the sound of him walking further into the house. He walked towards the living room, where he then spotted Harry, sitting with his back to the man. “Oh, there you are. Didn’t know if you’d still be awake.” _

_ Harry didn’t bother responding to him.  _

_ Louis frowned, when he didn’t get a response, walking over to the couch further. “Harry? Babe?” He asked, heading over to the curly haired teen cautiously. “Hazza, are you alright?” _

_ Still, Harry didn’t say anything as he sat there. The tears were still coursing down his face, and he was chewing on his bottom lip so as to not let out a sound. The phone was still sitting in the palm of his hand, the article still opened on the screen.  _

_ Louis walked around so that he was facing Harry, and immediately noticed the tears. His eyes went wide, and he was quick to cup the seventeen year old’s face in his hands. “Harry?” He asked, alarmed. “Harry? What’s wrong? Why are you crying, love? Are you okay?” _

_ Harry just shook his head, pulling his face out of Louis’ hands and ignoring the way his heart screamed at him for doing so. “Stop it, Louis,” he said, his voice wavering and crackling with emotion.  _

_ Louis’ face fell, but he only moved closer to the seventeen year old. “Hazza, what’s the matter? Are you hurt? Did something happen?” He asked. But Harry didn’t respond. “Please, baby,” Louis pleaded, his eyes wide, “you’re scaring me.” _

_ “Do you mean that?” Harry asked, his voice crackling. He turned to look at Louis with a hard, cold stare. “Do you mean that? Or do you call her baby too?” _

_ He watched as Louis’ face morphed from worry, into something else that Harry couldn’t place. “Harry,” he said, warningly. He didn’t sound concerned anymore. “You know I don’t. Why are you even saying shit like that?” _

_ But Harry didn’t back down. He shrugged stiffly. “Well you go on dates with her. I don’t see why you wouldn’t call her that as well,” he said, trying to keep his voice monotone.  _

_ “You know I fucking don’t call her that, Harry,” snapped the nineteen year old, his face hardening. “And it’s not a date. You know this. Why the hell are you bringing this up now?” _

_ “It is a date,” insisted Harry, ignoring the question. “It’s a date when you go out with a pretty girl and hold her hand. It’s a date when you go out to a fancy restaurant and pay for her at the end. It’s a date when you kiss her on the cheek before you leave. That’s what a date is, Louis.” _

_ Louis ran a hand through his hair. “It’s fake, Harry! You know this!” He exclaimed, exasperated and losing his patience quickly. “I only did all of that because I had too!” _ __   
  


_ Harry rolled his eyes and scoffed, curling in on himself and turning away from Louis. “Yeah right,” he muttered, ignoring the way his voice cracked at the end and the tears that were burning his eyes. He felt Louis huff next to him.  _

_ “This is bullshit, Harry,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You know that it’s all fake. You know that the only reason I even do all of this is so that we can be together. Do you really think I want to be out with her instead of here with you?” _

_ “I don’t know,” Harry sniffled, a silent tear rolling down his cheeks.  _

_ A hand lifted under his chin, cupping his face. Harry’s head was then forced over so that he was looking directly at Louis. “I love you, Harry. Only you,” he insisted, his eyes looking at him imploringly. “I only go out with her for you. This is all for us, Harry, so that we can be happy. So that we can be together.” _

_ Harry stared at his face for a long time, looking deep into his crystal blue eyes. He saw nothing but honesty. “I know,” he swallowed thickly, looking down in shame. “I know. You do this for me. I’m sorry.” _

_ Louis sighed, slowly shifting forward and gathering the younger into his arms. “Oh Harry,” he hummed, pressing his cheek onto the top of Harry’s head while Harry leaned into his neck. “Let’s just… I don’t want to do this tonight. Not this argument again tonight.” _

_ The seventeen year old nodded, his throat choking him. “Okay,” he whispered. He hated fighting with Louis. And they fought a lot.  _

_ Louis didn’t say anything. “Let’s go to bed,” he said instead.  _

***

Harry jolted awake, his eyes flying open as he woke up from the dream. He shot up in his bed, breathing heavily as the last flashes on his dream lingered. 

_ Not a dream. A memory.  _

He shook his head, trying to clear it out of his mind. That… that happened years ago. Before he had the twins, before the breakup, before the hiatus. That had all happened when he and Louis were still dating. God, that had happened when he was seventeen. 

The man tried to get the images out of his mind. Because he really wasn’t supposed to be dreaming about Louis now. Not when they weren’t together and would never get together ever again. He and Louis were over, so why was he having dreams about him?

He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to find out. 

Harry looked around, seeing that he was in his bedroom. He was lying in his bed, the blankets still drawn over his body. The curtains weren’t drawn, probably since he forgot about them after the whole fiasco last night. The light was pouring in through the window, and he was surprised it hadn’t awoken him sooner. The sun was in his eyes, causing him to blink. 

“Ugh,” he mumbled to himself, running his hands over his face as he tried to wake himself up. It didn’t work, since he still felt groggy. He was just shocked that he woke up on his own. Usually Allie or Robbie would have…

Hang on. 

Where were Allie and Robbie? They were obviously awake, since Harry didn’t remember the last time they slept in long enough for Harry to wake up on his own. They must be awake by now, but they weren’t in sight. The thought woke him up. 

He climbed out of bed, not giving it a second thought as he walked out of his room. He walked down the hall and towards the stairs, passing his childrens’ bedrooms. He glanced inside the ajar doors, but they weren’t anywhere in sight. And their beds were left unmade. 

That was when he heard it. The sound of music and laughter coming from downstairs. It was closely followed by the smell of sizzling bacon on the stove. Harry’s frown deepened at that as he slowly headed down the stairs. 

He walked down slowly and cautiously, following the sounds coming from downstairs. They sounded like they were coming from the kitchen, which made sense because of the bacon. As he got closer and closer, he could clearly make out the sound of Allie’s loud voice, talking animatedly. 

He walked into the kitchen, not at all prepared for the sight he was about to see. 

Allie and Robbie were there in the kitchen. Allie was talking loudly and animatedly about the dream she had last night, her face expressive as it always was as she went on about every single detail, talking everyone’s ears off as she sat on the island stool. Then there was Robbie, standing in the middle of the kitchen floor, jumping up and down to the music excitedly as his eyes were trained on the stove. And then there was Louis, standing by the stove in all of his morning glory, pulling the entire scene together. They looked like one big family. 

_ ‘This is what it would have been like,’  _ his subconscious said to himself, though it was unwelcome. Harry frowned at the thought. ‘ _ This is what it would have been like if you were still dating. You might even have been married. There might even have been more babies…’ _

“Hi daddy!” Allie said loudly, having noticed Harry first. She waved her little arm over her head, causing everyone else to look over at the doorway at him. Harry was snapped out of his daze, and turned to look at the girl, plastering on a soft, tired smile. 

“Hello, love,” he said softly, walking over to her and placing a soft kiss to the top of her head. Allie squirmed a little in the hug. Because, even though Harry was always super cuddly in the morning, his children had not inherited the same thing from him. 

“Hi daddy,” Robbie chirped, jumping up and down to the beat. It was One Way Or Another playing from the loud speakers. “Lookie, Lou’s making up breakfast!”

Harry’s eyes flicked up to the older man, who was standing there looking at him. Louis had wide eyes and looked a little guilty for being there. He had a spatula in hand. Harry looked away. “I can see that,” he said to the small boy. “And what’s Louis making today?”

He saw Louis relax a little, probably just relieved. Harry didn’t look too much into it. “I’m making eggs, bacon and some homemade mash,” he explained. “But I can, uh, I can go if you…”

“No, no,” Harry said softly, walking over to the stove. He leaned past Louis, grabbing a piece of bacon off of the stove and putting it into his mouth. “You can stay. Besides, I suck at making bacon.”

Louis’ face looked a little surprised, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead. “Oh,” he said in shock, blinking a few times. “Okay. Uh, great. It should be ready in around ten minutes.”

Harry nodded. “Great, ten minutes,” he said, turning to look at the twins. “You know what that means? That’s enough time to get dressed.”

Allie jutted her bottom lip out. “Awe,” she whined, a cute pout appearing on her face. “I don’t wanna get dressed.”

“Me too,” Robbie pouted. 

“No whining,” Harry said, shooing the two of them towards the stairs. The two four year olds pouted the whole way, but allowed themselves to be led over to the bottom of the staircase. “Now go get ready please. Breakfast will be ready when you come down.”

Robbie huffed, pouting still. “Fine, daddy,” he said, walking up the stairs with a frown. He also grabbed Allie’s hand, and proceeded to lead his sister up the stairs as well. She went with him, though reluctantly. Harry watched them go up, until they had gotten to their rooms. 

He then slinked back into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He didn’t even look Louis’ way as he headed straight over to the coffee machine, making a beeline for it. Because, other than his children, coffee was his favourite thing in the mornings. And he wasn’t at all ashamed to admit that he was completely addicted to the brown beverage. 

He walked over to the machine and flipped it on. He leaned against the counter, closing his eyes as he heard the familiar whirring sound of the coffee being made. It was soon followed by the heavenly sound of the coffee being poured into his favourite mug. 

When it was done, Harry grabbed the hot mug and wrapped his hands around it, relishing in the feeling of the hot beverage in his hands. He then took a sip of his, feeling the liquid burn it’s way down his throat, leaving a hot and tingly sensation behind. He hummed in contentement. 

“Good?” Louis asked, watching him from where he was standing at the stove. He had a different expression on his face, a sort of fond and nostalgic air. Harry decided, once again, not to read into it. 

Harry cracked open an eye, looking at the other man, before nodding. “Always,” he answered, his voice hoarse and groggy from his tiredness. He took another gulp of the drink. 

Louis hummed. “You always used to like coffee first thing in the morning,” he commented offhandedly. 

“Some things never change,” mumbled Harry. He took another sip. 

“Listen, Harry,” Louis said, turning around to face the younger man. His face was serious again, and Harry raised an eyebrow at that. It was clear that Louis was about to say something serious and he wasn’t sure if he could deal with it this early in the morning. “I’m sorry about everything.”

Harry frowned a little. “You already said that last night.”

“I know, but,” Louis said, taking a deep breath. “But last night was quite… well, emotional. And I just wanted to say it today. Because I am. I’m really sorry, Harry.”

“It’s okay,” Harry said softly, swallowing thickly as he looked down at his mug. “Well, it’s not okay. Not yet. But it will be okay. I just need some time, but I want this to be okay.”

Louis’ eyebrows shot up his head. “Yeah?” He asked, hope lacing in his voice. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah,” he said, feeling as if the weight had just been lifted off of his chest. “Yeah, it will be okay. I want this to be okay and I don’t want you to leave again. I want to make this work, for Allie and Robbie. They really like you and I don’t want to be the reason that they don’t get to see you.”

“Thank you. Harry,” Louis said, softly. He looked like he wanted to reach out and pull him into a hug- or at least touch him in some way. But thankfully, he managed to hold himself back, keeping his arms firmly at his sides. “Thank you so much. And I really am so sorry.”

Harry nodded, keeping his gaze on the dark black coffee. “I know,” he whispered, clutching the mug. “And I’m going to forgive you. Someday. I just need some time.”

“Of course” Louis said quickly, nodding his head. He looked relieved, from what Harry could see out of the corner of his eyes. “But, um, I just have one questions. The hiatus… was that because of them? Is that why you wanted the break?”

“Yes,” Harry said quietly, his voice wavering a little. “I couldn’t have them and still be in the band. And I couldn’t tell you then, so that’s why I wanted the hiatus. Zayn had already left and Liam was ready to have his family. It was just easier to end it.”

“You should have told me,” Louis said, slightly bitterly. His eyes clouded over a little. But not in an angered way, but more in a… deprecating way. Almost in guilt. “You could have told me. I should have known.”

Harry shrank back, even though his voice was still soft and quiet. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, looking at his mug determinedly. “I should have. But I was scared and I… you were out with Eleanor and I thought you were together. I couldn’t just spring them on you, and by the time they were born it was too late. I’m sorry, Louis.”

Louis ran a hand through his hair and let out a breathless laugh. “We’ve really fucked this one over, haven’t we?” He said, though really there was nothing funny about it. Harry nodded whole heartedly. They really had fucked it over. 

Before either of them could say anything else, there was the soft sound of two feet running down the stairs. They both stopped talking immediately, resuming their previous tasks and trying their best to act natural. 

The twins ran into the room. “We’re ready!” Chriped Robbie. He was dressed in a pair of black shorts, with a red t-shirt overtop. Everything was on backwards.

“Is it ready?” Asked Allie. Allie wasn’t much better than her brother, as she was dressed in black striped pants and a flannel shirt that was twice her size. 

Harry snorted when he saw them, facepalming. Louis’ eyes twinkled in mirth and his usual smirk appeared on his face. “I can see that,” he said merrily. “Now come over here, breakfast is ready!”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s a little late! I wanted to make this chapter the best it could be before posting it. 
> 
> WARNING: Not too bad, but there might be some adult content. No smut (yet 😏) but some adult stuff, just a warning.
> 
> Also, you should all go check out Worth Fighting For by Bumble_Bee_Be. It’s really great!!

Harry sat in the driver's seat of his car, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as he waited at the red light. He hummed a little to himself, waiting for the light to change so that he could continue driving. But traffic was bad and the weather was slowing everything down. 

The rain was making a loud thumping sound each time it hit his windshield. It was a heavy rain, the sort that came in big raindrops that made a soft thump as they landed on you. And there were a lot of them coming down, making it not so great for driving weather. The windshield wasn’t doing much to help it either, since it was barely doing anything to keep the rain off of the glass, even at its fastest speed. 

The weather was nasty. Honestly, the only thing that would be good to do in that kind of weather was curl up in a blanket with a mug of tea. Maybe reading a book, or watching a movie, or playing a board game. That was the kind of night that you usually spent when the weather was that nasty. But that wasn’t what Harry was doing tonight. 

Instead of staying in the comfort of his home, doing something nice and cozy and relaxing, he was on his way to a bar. 

And no, that wasn’t Harry’s scene. He didn’t go bar-hopping or partying like a lot of people his age did. He was famous and had a career. Plus he had two children and couldn’t come home drunk to them. But besides that, even before the twins, he wasn’t much of a bar kind of guy. He was a ‘stay at home and watch a rom-com’ kind of guy. He never really partied when he was younger, and he barely went to bars either. 

But there he was, sitting in his car in the rain, as he drove towards the local bar. Garlands was the name of the bar that they were going to. He had heard of it before, and had maybe gone in once or twice in his life, but it was still something he wasn’t used to. 

Honestly, he didn’t even want to go. He wanted to go home with his kids and watch a movie or read a book or play a board game- usual rainy night activities. He didn’t want to dress up and drive all the way in the rain out to a bar with the plan of getting drunk and potentially laid. 

He wouldn’t be there, if it weren’t for Niall. The evil blond leprechaun had organized for all the boys to meet up at the bar that night as a ‘bonding experience.’ He said that he thought it would be good for them or something. But in reality, he probably was just going to get drunk. Not really any bonding time. 

He had even gone to the extra effort of making sure that Harry was free so that he wouldn't have a reason to say no. He had called up Gemma a dew days before and scheduled for her to watch the twins overnight. A sleepover for them and Drew. That way, Harry didn’t even have to worry about someone watching them or waking them if he decided to bring someone home. 

Then, when he was sure that Harry was going to be able to make it, he suggested it on a whim. And Harry, having no other excuses, had to agree. So that was how he found himself going to Garlands that night. 

He suspected that Niall was doing this for him. To get him to loosen up and get drunk with them for once. Another reason was because the blond man thought he needed to get laid. Harry snorted at that, because there was no way in hell that he was going to hook up with someone that night. Not when he hadn’t had sex in so long, he wasn’t just going to do it with a random guy from a bar. No thanks. 

Harry tapped his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently, as he glanced over at the time on the car. It was just a little past 10:30, which was when they were all supposed to meet at the bar. He was already late, but it wasn’t his fault. He was probably going to be the last to arrive. 

When the light switched to green, Harry stepped on the pedal and drove off towards the bar. Thankfully, it was only a five minute drive normally, plus the rain made it around ten minutes. But it wasn’t that bad, and he was almost the bar anyways.

A few minutes later, the bar came into view, and Harry turned the car towards the parking lot. Garlands was fairly well known, mostly because it was a great hook up spot because of the accessible bedrooms upstairs, but it made parking a little difficult. But he did find a spot after not too long, and pulled into it, parking the car and hopping out. 

The rain was still pouring when he got out, and he frowned. He had forgotten to bring a raincoat when he came, mostly because he had been rushing. He mentally cursed himself, realizing that he was going to get wet. He took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around himself, before running. He made a mad dash from his car, running towards the door of Garlands. 

Harry pushed open the front door, only to be greeted by the sound of pumping music and flashing lights. He blinked a few times, trying to get used to the sudden feeling of actually being inside. 

He flashed his ID at the security guy at the front, before heading into the club. There were people everywhere. Dancing on the dancefloor, grinding and humping against one another. There were people gathered at the bar, either drinking their own drink slowly or doing shots. Then there were the couples against the walls, making out like their lives depended on it. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, sweaty and letting loose. 

It didn’t take long to find the boys. It was pretty easy to find Niall anywhere in a crowd. He really didn’t blend in, with his loud irish-ness. Harry could hear him laughing loudly from all the way across the bar. All he needed to do was follow the sound before he was led right to them. 

They were sitting at the bar. The four of them were gathered together, laughing loudly and having a great time. They weren’t drunk, but they had clearly already gotten drinks. They were all dressed in usual bar attire, jeans and nice fitting shirts. 

Liam was the first to notice Harry walk in. He looked over, his eyes falling on Harry as they lit up. “Hazza!” He cheered excitedly, waving his arms over his head as he beconned the curly haired man over. “Hazza’s here, everyone!”

“Harreh!” Niall yelled, his voice already slurring a little from the alcohol he had in his hand. It looked like it was tequila or something. “Harreh, come get drunk with me!”

Harry rolled his eyes affectionately at the blond man, but walked over to them. He skipped over, grabbing one of the bar stools and slipping into it, right in between Niall and Louis. “Hey guys,” he said as he sat down. “Sorry for being late. The weather was really bad.”

“It’s fine, just matters that you came,” Liam said, patting him on the back from where he was sitting beside Niall and Zayn. 

“Hey Haz,” Louis said quietly, looking over at the man next to him, a small but nervous smile on his face. It looked almost hopeful but anxious at the same time. Like he half expected Harry to explode. 

The twenty four year old smiled shakily. “Hey,” he mumbled, his eyes flickering up to Louis and then back down to his hands. His heart was thumping wildly inside of his ribcage. God, Louis looked great tonight. His skinny jeans hugged his thick thighs perfectly, and his cut-off tank exposed his strong arms. It made Harry flush.

“This is great,” Zayn said cheerfully, raising his glass of what looked like beer. “Now it’s just like how it used to be! Just five lads getting drinks at a bar!”

Harry hummed in response, knowing full well that nothing was the same as it used to be. He knew that everyone else knew it too, and that they were all thinking it. 

Niall slapped his hand down onto the bar. “Hey, you!” He shouted, pointing at the bartender who was in the middle of fixing a drink. He looked up at Niall, wide eyed. “Yeah, you. Get my little Hazza a drink! And make it strong. Get him some vodka!”

The bartender nodded. “Straight?” 

“No, gay!” Niall yelled back, before dissolving into a fit of giggles. 

Harry felt a smile creeping onto his face as he looked at the flustered bartender. He barely held back his own giggle as the drink was slid over to him. “Thanks,” he said, accepting the drink and lifting it into his hand. He tipped it back, taking a swig of the drink. He grimaced a little as the alcohol burned down his throat. He wasn’t used to getting such heavy drinks. Usually when he drank, it was just wine. 

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Chanted Niall, banging his fist down on the table. He reached over at Harry’s cup and tipped it backwards into his throat, causing the younger to almost choke on it. Harry sputtered, but managed to swallow down a few gulps of the drink. 

Zayn grabbed the blond man’s elbow, stopping him from tipping the cup back any further. “Niall, chill,” he said. “You’re gonna choke him.”

Harry swallowed down the last few drops of it, before slamming the cup down onto the counter. “I’m good!” He shouted, feeling the buzz in his brain from the alcohol. “Woo! I’m good! That was great!”

Niall just cheered loudly, swaying unsteadily on his stool. “Yeah, Harreh!” He said, clapping the younger man on the back. “Now you’re having some fun!”

“Oh, oh, oh,” Liam said suddenly, bouncing up and down on his seat as his face lit up. “You know what we should do?” The boys all shook their heads. Liam grew more excited, a smile creeping onto his face. “We should do shots!” 

“I’m gonna win!” Louis exclaimed suddenly, a smile appearing on his face. 

Niall wrinkled his nose up at that. “Nuh uh,” he argued, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m gonna win. It’s the natural irish blood running through my veins. It gives me the power to beat anyone ever in a shot competition!”

“I never said it was a competition,” Liam interjected with a small frown. 

But Harry just waved him off. “It’s always a competition!” He said loudly. “And you lads don’t even need to worry about it- because I’m going to win! Hey bartender, we want some shots!”

“In your dreams,” Niall said, poking him in the ribs and causing the boy to squeak. “Lightweight.”

Harry growled at that, swatting his hand away. “I am not!” He exclaimed, though they all knew it was a lie. The other boys raised their eyebrows at him. “Oh, it’s on!” The twenty four year old cried. 

***

Forty five minutes later and Harry was completely drunk. Like, out of his mind drunk. Like, he had just chugged two vodkas, a few shots, a tequila and Zayn’s half empty beer. So drunk that he probably would have the worst hangover ever in the morning. 

Harry slammed his tequila glass down onto the counter. “Another!” He cried loudly, waving around for the bartender. He must have moved too much though, since he nearly fell out of his seat.

“Woah,” Louis said, grabbing his elbow to keep the man upright in his seat, narrowing saving Harry from falling face first onto the floor. “Maybe you should slow down, Haz. You’ve already had a lot tonight. Maybe it’s time to just call it a night for the drinks, yeah?”

Harry pouted, shaking his head back and forth. He promptly stopped though, since he felt dizzy. “No, no, no, Loubear,” he slurred, using the name he always used to call his ex. He patted the man on the chest drunkenly. “I can… I can do this all night…”

“I’m sure you can, Hazza,” Louis remarked, wrinkling his nose up from the heavy smell of alcohol on Harry’s breath. “But Niall was right, you kind of are a lightweight and you definitely drank more than enough. So let’s just stop for now, ‘kay?”

Niall, who was teetering on drunkenness himself, waltzed over to them. He leaned over, throwing his arm over Harry’s shoulders. “You know what I think?” He slurred. “I think  _ you _ -” he jabbed a finger into Louis’ chest “-haven’t had nearly enough to drink. Yo bartender guy, get my mate here a drink! Get tequila!”

“I’m good,” Louis said with a frown. “One of us has to stay at least a little sober tonight.”

Niall rolled his eyes. “Duh! Why do you think we invited Liam?” He asked, waving the man off. “Now chill and drink. You need tequila!”

“I want one too!” Harry piped up, blinking dopily up at Niall. He looked so innocent, his bright green eyes pure and drunk. Niall smiled and pinched his cheeks with his fingers, almost like he would do to a child. 

“If my little Hazzy wants a tequila, then you’re gonna get a tequila,” Niall said, patting him on the top of the head. “We’re gonna have fun tonight! This is gonna be the most fun we’ve had in a loooong time!”

The bartender came out with two more tequilas just as Niall was skipping away towards some guy he recognized as a usual at the bar or something. Harry grabbed at his drink while Louis just frowned a little at him. “You’re gonna be sick tomorrow,” he advised. 

Harry just waved him off. “Don’t care without a hair in a bear,” he chirped. 

Louis blinked at him, furrowing his brows. “What does that even mean?” 

“Dunno. I’m pretty drunk,” Harry said easily, grabbing the drink and tipping it back into his mouth. He took a big gulp of it, sighing as he felt the tingly drunken feeling come over his body. It made him feel all giggly and squishy inside and he loved it. 

All of a sudden, a song came on the dancefloor. Harry recognized it. “Oh!” He exclaimed, his eyes widening when the song came on. “Oh, oh, oh! This is my song! This is my song!” He exclaimed excitedly as Carolina started playing. “Come on, Loubear- we gotta go dance!”

Harry grabbed onto his arm, the drink completely forgotten by now, and started pulling him out of his chair and towards the dancefloor. But Louis didn’t follow him. “I don’t know, Harry…” he said slowly. “I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Harry said, tugging his arms towards the dancefloor. “‘S just a dance. ‘S not like I’m gonna get pregnant or nothing! Come on, Loubear, dance with me!”

“Harry, I really don’t think-” Louis started. But Harry just covered his mouth with his hand, effectively shutting him up. “Harry-”   
  


“Shh!” Harry hissed drunkenly, leaning in close and whispering. Or, trying to whisper was probably more accurate. “Just stop talking. Let’s go dance. C’mon. My mother doesn’t have to know. She’s probably not even here anyways, so it’s okay.”

Louis scoffed. “Well as long as Anne isn’t here,” he commented sarcastically. “Then I guess it must be a good idea.”

Harry brightened. “Exactly!” He said happily, grabbing Louis’ arm again and proceeding to pull him towards the dancefloor. “Now come dance with me!”

Somehow, he managed to get Louis to the dance floor. It probably had to do with the fact that Louis was also pretty drunk and neither of them were thinking straight, but soon they were both on the dance floor while Carolina played out. 

Before Louis could do anything, Harry had grabbed his hand and yanked his towards the centre of the dance floor and started dancing with him, jumping up and down to the beat and occasionally swinging his hips into Louis’. 

“SHE’S A GOOD GIRL! SHE’S SUCH A GOOD GIRL! SHE’S A GOOD GIRL! SHE FEELS SO GOOD!” The curly haired singer yelled out as he jumped around. 

Harry was having a great time. He was drunk and loving it. His mind had finally shut up for once and he didn’t even have to worry about anything. He was just singing and dancing and drinking. Not a care in the world other than what his next drink was going to be. 

Louis soon joined in, hopping around with him as he belted out the words. Harry giggled, but continued hopping around, not even questioning how Louis knew the words to his song. 

Pretty soon, almost too soon, the music changed for a more… adult song. Carolina was switched to some song by Rhiana that Harry didn’t recognize, and people grabbed partners and started grinding against one another. Grinding and humping and getting dirty with. 

Harry looked over at Louis, seeing him stop jumping as he frowned at the change in song. He looked breathless and hot. Without thinking, Harry leaned forward. “Dance with me,” he whispered hotly in his ear. Louis jerked back. 

“I don’t-“ he said, flustered as he took a small step backwards, looking like a scared kitten. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Harry. You wouldn’t… you wouldn’t want me to if you were sober.”

“Good thing neither of us is sober,” Harry responded, his fingers loosely grabbing onto Louis’s shirt. “C’mon Loubear. We’re both young and drunk. Dance with me. I’m hot.”

But Louis just pulled back. “We should stop,” he said, but it was clear from his tone that he was struggling to hold back. “You don’t want to do this with me, Harry. I know you wouldn’t want to.”

Harry frowned when Louis pulled his arm out of his grasp. He opened his mouth to argue some more when a presence suddenly came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey Princess,” the man behind him purred. “Wanna dance?”

Harry turned around, blinking. He had to look physically upwards to see the man’s face. He was tall and dark and broad. And handsome- very, very handsome. He wasn’t as hot as Louis, but he was sure hot stuff. Actually, he looked nothing like Louis at all. 

He turned back to Louis, seeing him glaring at the man. “Come on, Loubear. Dance with me, please?” He pleaded, whining as he tugged at Louis’ shirt. 

Louis looked pained. “Hazza, I can’t,” he said with a frown. “You’d never- you would hate me if I took advantage of you. I’m not drunk enough for this…”

Harry frowned, opening his mouth to say something else, when two hands were placed on his hips. The man from before leanded down, his breath tickling Harry’s ear. “Come on, Princess. Let’s dance if this douche doesn’t want to. I wanna see you move these hips,” he said, seductively. 

The twenty four year old looked one last time at Louis, who was standing with a deep from on his face. Harry shrugged. “Let’s dance,” he said without a second thought, grabbing the man’s hand and pulling him towards the dance floor. 

Leaving Louis behind. 

***

Liam had just lost a shot competition, and was bored again. He walked over to the spot at the bar where they had all been sitting before. He spotted Louis over there, drinking like there was no tomorrow. 

He slid into the seat beside his friend. Liam watched as Louis downed a shot like it was water, tipping it back and swallowing it whole. He raised his eyebrows at that. 

“Damn Tommo, don’t you think it’s time to slow down?” He asked when Louis reached for another shot. 

But Louis just ignored his concern and tipped the shot back again. “No, not drunk enough,” he said gruffly as he swallowed the alcohol again. 

Liam frowned at that. “Lou, you’re very drunk. I’m pretty sure you’re drunk enough. How about we start to slow down, yeah?” He said gently. “Where’s Harry? He was just over here with you, wasn’t he?”

“No,” scoffed Louis, a growl escaping from his throat. He slammed the shot glass onto the counter, before motioning drunkenly around. “He’s over there.”

Liam followed the man’s vague motion towards the dance floor. First he spotted Niall and Zayn, who were rocking out together and pretending to use an air guitar. He smiled at that, as his eyes trailed across the dance floor. His eyebrows shot up his head when he saw Harry. 

Harry was standing in the middle of the dance floor, dancing with some big and handsome guy. The guy had his hands placed firmly on Harry’s hips while they danced. Harry, clearly drunk out of his mind, was wiggling and grinding against the man. And the man- well, he looked like he was getting into it a little too much. 

“Oh god,” Liam said, his mouth falling open in a mix of shock and horror. 

Louis growled, grabbing another shot and downing it in one go without a wince or anything. “He asked me to dance,” he grumbled. “And I said no because I was trying to be fucking  _ mature.” _

Liam turned to look at the obviously drunk, distraught and angered man. “Oh Louis,” he said with a sad grimace. 

“And then he goes and dances with some jackass,” Louis growled as he watched the two of them, narrowing his eyes in anger. “Fucking jackass. It should be me.”

Liam blinked at that. “Louis, you did the right thing. Harry’s drunk,” he said slowly. 

“I’m drunk!” Louis shouted back. “I’m drunk and I… and I don’t want… I’m drunk and I need that jackass to… to step away from my Harry!”

Liam looked over his shoulder towards Harry with a small frown. He had to admit, both men were much too drunk for these kind of emotions to be going around. But then he spotted Harry, who was still dancing with the guy. But then he saw something else. The random guy, the jackass, had one hand creep down towards Harry’s skinny jean zipper. 

Louis also noticed it too. “JACKASS!” He exploded, jumping off of his stool before Liam could do anything. He stomped over to the dance floor, shoving people out of the way as he hurried over to them. 

He marched over to them and spotted the man already palming Harry through his jeans and boxers. And Harry just look confused and very, very drunk as he blinked around dopily. Louis walked over and shoved the man back roughly, causing him to stumble back. His hands dropped from Harry. 

“Hey!” The man said, a frown appearing on his face when he regained his balance. 

But Louis just shoved his back again. “Don’t touch him, asshole!” He growled, anger radiating off of him. “He’s drunk!”

“Who’re you?” The man demanded, standing up to his full height that was towering. But Louis definitely wasn’t one to be intimidated. 

“He’s mine,” Louis growled, the hairs on the back of his bristling with anger. He pushed the man back again. 

But the man just raised an eyebrow. “Ah, a jealous boyfriend?” He asked, smirking a little. “Well I can say that your boy is certainly a hot little fuck, isn’t he? I just about bent his over right here and now-”

A animalistic growl escaped Louis throat as he surged forward, fully prepared to rip that man’s throat out of his mouth. But four arms grabbed him from behind, holding him back. “Louis, stop!” Zayn grunted as he held his friend back. “Louis!”

The man just chuckled, taking a step back. “Well, I had my fun,” he said, waving towards Harry. “Bye Princess.”

“Byeee,” Harry said, waving drunkenly as he stumbled around. He then blinked a few times. “Hey, I know this song. Let’s dance, Loubear!” He grabbed Louis’ arm again, but this time the man didn’t fight it. 

Zayn and Liam stood there with frowns on their faces while Harry grabbed Louis and pulled him back to the dance floor. Louis went with him easily, keeping his grip tight on Harry. 

Harry skipped over to the free spot and pulled Louis along with him. When they got there, he wrapped both his arms around Louis’ neck while Louis grabbed his hips. Harry hummed as they started moving together. “I like you,” Harry said drunkenly. 

Louis chuckled. “I like you too, Hazza,” he said. “And I don’t like it when you dance with other people.”

“I don’t like when I dance with other people too,” the curly haired man said as he moved against him. “Only like dancing with you, Lou. Only you.”

Louis growled possessively as he fitted himself against Harry’s body. “You’re mine,” he said gruffly. Harry moaned, rubbing himself against Louis. 

When the song was over, both men were hot and flustered and hard from the dancing. Harry has turned around so that he was wiggling his butt against Louis’ hard on, while Louis rutted against the swell of his bottom. They were both moaning as they did so. 

Harry turned around suddenly, causing Louis to stumble a little at the sudden movement. But Harry just reached over, burying his hands in Louis’ hair. “Lou,” he gasped, tugging at his hair. “Lou, kiss me.”

Louis let out a breath. “O-okay…” he said breathlessly. Then he was leaning down and capturing Harry’s mouth in his own. He just pressed his lips gently against Harry’s barely even touching as if he was scared. 

Harry grabbed Louis’ face in his hands and pressed closer, his body flush against the older’s as he deepened the kiss. It was hot, desperate, sloppy. Louis sucked on Harry’s bottom lip, causing him to moan. 

“Lou, I need-” Harry said, his hand tugging on the bottom of the shirt. “Lou, please. I want you. Please.”

And maybe Louis would have listened and taken him off to one of the bedrooms upstairs. But they would never know, since it was at that time that the boys showed up and yanked them apart. Niall then hurried off with Harry while Zayn and Liam pulled Louis away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. And please leave comments- I promise to reply to them :)


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY
> 
> I know this is late and I know I’ve been keeping you waiting and I know that I suck at updates and IM SORRY!
> 
> I just started school again and it’s been hard to write and do the work, which is why this is so late. I’m so sorry!! And I hate to tell you, but I probably won’t be updating more than once a week anymore. Sorry. 😬
> 
> Anyways, please don’t kill me and enjoy the chapter.

Harry blinked slowly as he started to wake himself up. But as soon as he started coming to the land of the living again, he wished that he hadn’t. 

The man groaned immediately, feeling his mind start to throb painfully. He brought his hands up to his temples, curling in on himself as he felt the pain in his head fire up. It felt like there was a hammer being repeatedly slammed down onto his brain and it hurt like hell. Everything just seemed to hurt now. His head most of all. 

He felt like absolute shit, and he couldn't remember why. Not that he was going to try and remember either, because his brain hurt too much to even remember his own name right now. But whatever happened had been a mistake- how he felt that morning told him that much.

Harry groaned again, this time louder as he felt his stomach lurch. His eyes flew open as he felt the familiar feeling of bile rising up his throat, and he was quick to roll over onto his side and launch himself out of bed. He stumbled and staggered over to the washroom that was connected to his bedroom, his insides churning painfully inside of him the whole way.

He barely made it to the washroom before he was falling to his knees next to the toilet and puking his guts out. He heaved into the toilet bowl, vomit and bile escaping his mouth and landing in the water with a slosh. It was like morning sickness, but this time mixed with a hangover. 

He was too busy puking his guts out to realize that someone had walked into his room after hearing the sound of him puking. “Ah, looks like sleeping beauty is awake,” Niall commented, leaning against the doorframe of the washroom as he watched Harry puke with a raised eyebrow. “Looks like you’re having a pleasant morning.”

Too busy puking, Harry couldn’t respond. But he lifted a hand to flip the blond man off wordlessly as he continued heaving into the toilet. He heard his best friend let out a small, easy laugh. Harry hated the sound of his cheerfulness. 

“Ever the charmer, Hazza,” Niall commented in mirth, making no move to step further into the washroom. “You really do have a way with words. It’s no wonder you have half the world drooling over your feet.”

Harry growled a little, lifting his head enough to look the man in the eyes. “Piss off,” he grumbled, the vomit still dripping from his chin. He did his best to shoot Niall a deadly glare, but the effect was lost from the state he was in, hunched over the toilet. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Niall said, waving the insult off easily. “You should actually be grateful for having me here. Not everyone has a great best friend who takes them home after they get piss drunk while at a bar. I’m actually like a godsend or something.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “In your dreams,” he said, gruffly. “Let’s not forget all those times when I had to bring you home from a bar. At least once a week.”

But Niall ignored that. “No one likes people who fish for compliments, Harry,” he tutted, pushing himself off of the door frame and walking into the room a little. “Besides, you might want to be a little nicer to me, since I did bring you a glass of water to go with all the barf.”

“Screw you,” Harry mumbled, but he reached up and grabbed at the glass of water that his friend had handed him. Without thinking twice, he tipped the glass back and chugged the whole thing in one go, desperate for some kind of relief. He chugged it until there wasn’t a drop left in the glass, before he put it back down on the washroom counter. 

He sighed a little as he leaned his gross and dirty face down against the toilet. He didn’t even care that the toilet was dirty and gross- he was too exhausted to care about that right now. At least the water made him feel better. 

Niall scrunched up his nose. “That’s nasty, Haz,” he commented with a grimace. “At least put a towel over it or something. My butt’s been on that toilet seat when I shit.”

“You’re gonna make me puke again,” Harry grumbled, slowly pushing himself off of the toilet seat and turning around to lean against the wall. He then groaned to himself as he grimaced, his head was pounding against his skull again, despite the water he had chugged. “What even happened last night to make me feel like this?”

Now it was Niall’s turn to look confused. “You…” he said slowly, a frown starting to tug his lips downwards as his brows scrunched in the middle of his forehead. “You mean… you don’t remember what happened last night? Like, none of it?”

Harry shook his head, still not bothering to open his eyes. “No, I can barely remember my name anyone,” Harry moaned, in pain. 

“But, like,  _ none  _ of it?” Niall pressed, still not believing him. He had a tight expression on his face now. 

It only made Harry frown even more. “No, Ni, none of it,” he said, cracking one eye open just a little to look at his friend with suspicion. “Why? Did something happen?”

But the blond man pretended not to hear the last part. “None of it as in absolutely nothing?” He said to clarify. His frown was ever present, increasing with each word. 

“No, Niall,” The curly haired man snapped impatiently, opening a single eye to glare at his friend. “Why are you acting so weird? I said I didn’t remember anything.”

Niall nodded, biting down anxiously onto his bottom lip as he looked down at the ground, a thing he did whenever he didn’t want to say something. He did it whenever he was lying, which was why he was the worst liar of the group. Well, other than Harry, that is. Harry couldn’t lie for his life. 

So Harry only became more concerned when he say his friend do that. He sat up straighter, opening both eyes to look at the other man. “Niall…” he said slowly. “What happened?”

“You got drunk,” Niall said hastily. “Nothing happened. You just got super drunk and I had to carry you home. Nothing else.”

But Harry knew his friend better than to believe that. “What aren’t you telling me?” He asked, sitting up now and looked suspiciously at the blond man. He grew impatient when Niall didn’t answer him. “Niall, what happened?!”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll tell you,” Niall said, wincing a little when Harry started yelling. “But, like, keep it down. You’re not the only one with a hangover, you know. My head’s killing me and your shouting isn’t gonna help. So shut up.”

But Harry didn’t even care about that anymore. “Niall, tell me,” he stressed, tugging at his curls anxiously. All kinds of different scenarios were running through his head. “Was it bad? Did I do something? What happened?”

Niall sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Just… come here,” he said quietly, bending down to grab Harry by the shoulders as he guided him up to his feet. He then turned him around so that he was facing the mirror. Harry frowned a little, before his eyes widened in a mix of shock and horror at his appearance. 

“Oh my god!” He shouted, completely ignoring the flinch Niall gave and his own sudden pain. He reached a hand up, hovering over his bare collarbone. “Is that a… is that a hickey?!”

He didn’t need Niall’s response. He already knew the answer. He had, not one, but two hickeys. One was dark red and visible to anyone, while the other was just a little pink. But they were both visible. His hair was unruly and his bottom lip was swollen. 

He ran a hand over his neck in horror. “Oh god,” he breathed in horror as he traced over the dark hickey on his neck. “Oh god. What happened? Did I… did I sleep with someone?” He said it slowly and with anxiety, almost scared for the answer. 

“No,” Niall said hesitantly. “No you didn’t. Close… but no.”

“I don’t understand,” the younger said in shock as he looked at himself. “I didn’t think I’d try and hook up with some stranger, even if I was drunk. I just… I don’t understand. What happened exactly?”

Niall made a hesitant face. “Well, uh…” he said, chewing on his bottom lip. “So we all met up at the bar, right? And, well, you kinda got super drunk. Like, completely wasted.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair. “Okay,” he said heavily. “Go on.”

“So, you wanted to dance because they were playing Carolina on the speakers, and I wasn’t there so you didn’t ask me to. And there was this guy who wanted to dance, so you…”

“A stranger gave me a hickey?!” Harry exclaimed, his eyes widening as he looked at the mark on his neck. It was deep and dark purple, popping right out of his pale skin. Obviously whoever gave it to him had stayed on for a while to give him that. 

But instead of confirming it, Niall hesitated again. “Not exactly,” he said gently, a grimace on his face. “You and the guy stopped dancing after he, um, unzipped your pants.”

Horror came over Harry’s face. “WHAT?!” 

“It stopped after that!” Niall said hastily before his friend could jump to conclusions. “I promise it stopped after that. Louis came over and nearly started a fight in the bar because of it.”

Harry’s face clouded over, and his hands tightened from where they had been gripping the sink. He closed his eyes as his mind throbbed, taking a deep breath. “Go on,” he said. 

Niall looked at him sympathetically as he continued. “You were both pissed drunk and, uh, you sorta dragged Louis to the dancefloor and, uh, started dancing with him…”

“Oh. My. God.” Harry said, cutting him off. Everything felt faint, like he could pass out at any second. His mind went blank. “Oh god, no. No, no, no. Please tell me you’re lying, Niall. Please just tell me this is some kind of sick joke. Because I swear-”

“Louis gave you the hickey, Haz,” the blond man said lowly, confirming Harry’s fears. 

***

“Daddy!” Two voices shouted as his front door flew open. Harry winced from where he was nursing a cup of tea, flinching from the loud sound. He had only been up for an hour and his hangover was still prominent. 

But still, he forced a smile onto his face as the two four year olds came bursting into the kitchen, excited expressions on their faces. They spotted him easily and ran over. 

Harry got up from the stool he was sitting on and crouched down onto the floor, opening his arms. The twins crashed into him, and he pulled them into a hug. “Hey there, lovelies,” he said happily, smushing the two of them against his chest. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, daddy,” Robbie said, his voice muffled from where he had buried his face into the crook of Harry’s neck. His small hands were gripping at Harry’s clothes, telling him that it had probably been a hard night for Robbie’s anxiety. He felt immediately bad about it. 

He pressed a kiss to both of their heads. “Did you have fun with Drew and auntie Gemma?” He asked them, pressing a kiss to the top of his daughter’s curls. 

Allie bobbed her head up and down. “Yup!” She said, sounding happy as always. “We have loads of fun. We all had one big sleepover! ‘Cept Robbie, cause he went and slept in auntie Gemma’s bed.”

Ah, so it had been a hard night for the boy. Harry felt even worse for going out- more so than he did already for having to put his boy through that. 

Usually whenever Robbie got scared or anxious, he went and slept in Harry’s bed with him. It was usually whenever he had a hard day or a nightmare, but sometimes even just when he was feeling extra clingy. It was never a good sign and was a habit that really Harry shouldn’t have allowed. But he couldn’t say not the his babies, and sometimes it just felt good for him just to hold them. It helped him sleep at night sometimes too- just knowing that they were there and they were safe in his arms. 

Robbie’s face morphed into a frown as he hit Allie on the arm. “Did not!” He yelled, his face slowly starting to crumble. It looked like he was about to break into tears. 

Harry thought fast. “Uncle Niall is in the living room,” he said quickly, thinking of anything to stop the oncoming fit. “And I think he wants to hear all about your night.”

At that, the two stopped fighting and their faces lit up happily. “Uncle Niall!” They exclaimed in excitement, breaking away from Harry in order to make a dash for the living room, where Niall was unknowing awaiting. 

Harry then sighed as he stood up, running a hand through his hair. He loved his babies, but they were a lot sometimes. Especially when he didn’t have it together at all. 

“Rough morning?” Gemma asked from the doorway of the kitchen. Harry looked up in surprise- he had almost forgotten that she was there.

Slowly, he nodded. “Yeah,” he said tiredly. “Really rough. You have no idea.”

“Oh trust me, I do,” his older sister said, heading into the kitchen with him. She walked over, before pulling up a stool and sitting down. “A few weeks ago a few of my girls went out drinking and I got wasted. Worst hangover of my life.”

Harry blinked at her. “No,” he said slowly, sitting down into another stool. “Well, I mean that’s one reason. It’s just not  _ the _ reason.”

Gemma frowned at that, furrowing her eyebrows at her brother. “What do you mean? I heard you got pretty wasted last night. You’d have to have some kind of superpowers not to have, like, the worst hangover ever right now.”

“I am hungover,” Harry said quietly, fiddling with his hoodie sleeves. “That’s just not why it’s been rough this morning…”

“How is that not…” Gemma started, before slowly trailing off. Harry winced as his sister’s gaze zeroed in on his neck and he could practically feel her surprise. “Oh my god, Harry. Is that a  _ hickey?!”  _ She exclaimed in shock, her fingers prodding at his neck to get a better look. 

Harry frowned and swatted her hands away from him. “Yes,” he said, pulling his hood over his head to shield the bruise out of her gaze. “It is.”

“Oh my god!” Gemma squealed, clapping her hands together. She seemed really excited right now, and honestly Harry didn’t know why his sister was getting that worked up over a hickey he had. “I knew it! I knew you were getting laid! You needed it- let’s be honest. And you did! I’m so proud of you, Hazza. I know hookups with strangers are a little out of your comfort zone and it was probably kind of weird, but you honestly needed it-”

“Gemma,” Harry hissed, slapping a hand over the woman’s mouth to shut her up. “Stop it! Allie and Robbie are in the other room. Besides… I didn’t sleep with anyone.”

The older sibling snorted. “For one, the twins can’t hear. And two, what do you mean you didn’t get laid last night? I can literally see the proof on your neck. And there’s no harm in hooking up with a stranger,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You ain’t fooling me, baby bro.”

Harry sighed, rubbing his fingers against his temples. It was too early and he was too early to be having this conversation. “Gemma,” he said, lowering his voice significantly. “I didn’t hook up with a stranger… Louis gave it to me.”

Gemma’s face dropped from giddiness, to a mix of pure shock and slight horror. It would have been funny if they were talking about anything else. “Louis… Louis Tomlinson?” She said. Harry nodded- as if it would be any other Louis. Gemma’s face clouded over. “You slept with Louis?”

Harry’s eyes widened. “No!” He exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously. “No, no, no. I told you that I didn’t sleep with anyone. And I certainly didn’t sleep with Louis! I didn’t get laid last night, Gemma- don’t say shit like that!”

“You have a hickey, Harry!” His sister whisper-shouted at him, her eyes alarmed and disbelieving. “You can’t seriously expect me to think that you didn’t sleep with anyone when I can clearly see what’s on your neck! It’s purple and dark. There’s no way you could have gotten it without sleeping with someone! And now you’re telling me it was Louis…”

“Gemma! I didn’t sleep with anyone. Not Louis and not anyone else,” the singer said, his patience growing thin. Add that to his pounding headache. “And I do expect you to believe it because it’s the truth.”

“But you have a hickey,” the woman insisted, still unconvinced. “You have an actual hickey on your neck.”

“I danced with him,” Harry snapped, running his hands through his unruly hair. “I danced with him and kissed him, and he must have given it to me then. I don’t remember, we were both drunk. All I know is that he gave it to me and that we did not sleep together.”

Gemma looked at him in concern, her frown increasing. She didn’t quite look like she was certain, but she at least looked convinced that they didn’t sleep together. “You kissed him?” She clarified. “You two kissed?”

Harry sighed heavily, letting his eyes close as if blocking it out. “Yes,” he said shamefully. “We did. We were drunk and… and I kissed him.”

“ _ You  _ kissed  _ him?”  _ The woman pressed, leaning forward. “Are you sure he didn’t kiss you? You were drunk, Harry. What if he was the one…”

“He didn’t take advantage of me, Gems,” Harry snapped at her, almost snarling. “God! Why would you assume that? Yes, I was the one that kissed him! I wasn’t  _ assaulted,  _ for god's sake!”

“Don’t snap at me for making sure you didn’t get kissed unwillingly!” Gemma fired back. “I’m just making sure nothing happened, so don’t you use that tone with me!”

The curly haired man let out a long exhale, running his fingers through his hair, instantly feeling bad. “I’m sorry, Gems,” he said tiredly. “I didn’t mean to. I’m just… this is all going to shit. Just when we were fine, I fucked it up again. We’re never going to be okay. Fuck, I just want this to work.”

At those words, Gemma settled back into the stool. Her anger seemed to melt away and was instead replaced with sympathy. “I know,” she said gently, placing a hand on his back. “And you didn’t ruin it, Haz. If it’s meant to work out, it will. You didn’t ruin everything.”

“But I kissed him!” Harry exclaimed, burying his face into his hands. “I kissed him and now I’ve ruined everything! He’s going to hate me all over again and then we’re going to go back to not talking ever and then everything is going to be ruined just because I got drunk and did something stupid!”

Gemma raised her eyebrows at that. “Calm down, Haz,” she said, patting him on the back. “I’m sure it’s going to be fine. Besides, would it really be the worst thing if you two went different ways?”

Harry groaned. “I am not getting into this with you! I know you don’t like Louis and I know you don’t think he’s good enough. I know what you and mum think! But the twins love him and I-” He cut himself off sharply before he could finish. But it was too late. 

The room had dropped several degrees. Harry lifted his head just enough to look over at his sister, praying that she hadn’t heard. But she had, obviously. Her face darkened. “You what, Harry?” She asked slowly, her voice low and intimidating. 

Harry swallowed. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know about me anymore. I don’t know what I think. But I do know that the twins love him and I do know that he wants to be in their lives. And I want him to be in their lives too. That’s all I know anymore.”

“Do you love him?” His sister asked him, her voice low and slow. Her face was dark and clouded over, almost stoic. It was enough to send shivers down his spine. 

“No, I-” Harry said instantly, before faltering. He stopped, cutting himself off as he lowered his head. Then, quietly, he added. “I don’t know…”

The two of them fell into silence, with Harry’s words lingering heavy in the air above them. Even though he had said it with such uncertainty and so quietly, they both knew how much truth was behind it. And that was the scary part. The words hung silent and thick and consuming. Neither of them said anything for a long time. 

Gemma’s phone was what cut through the silence. It buzzed in her pocket. Silently, she picked it up and looked at it, reading the text silently. “I have to go,” she said simply, standing up. “I really hope you know what you’re doing, Harry.”

“Me too,” Harry said, his voice wavering. He willed himself not to cry, but dammit it was hard. His bottom lip was wobbling and he had to bite down on it to stop it. 

His sister sighed, walking over to him. “It’s going to work out,” she said, bending down to press a quick peck to his cheek. “Whatever is supposed to happen is going to happen. Whatever happens after this, it’s all going to be okay.”

And Harry prayed to god that she was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, go read Worth Fighting For by Bumble_Bee_Be if you want a one Direction reunion. It’s the only way


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for aditi and talia because they’re my favourites. That’s it. That’s the notes. Thanks for reading :)

They were in the middle of a Frozen dance party. Recently, the twins had been hooked on both of those movies. Allie would insist on Harry putting an Elsa braid into her hair, whilst Robbie had started wearing mittens all day and telling everyone it was in order to hide his ice powers. 

It was cute- for the first week. But after two and a half weeks of constantly having to braid Elsa hair and listen to Let It Go on repeat, Harry was almost ready to throw the TV out the window if it meant that he didn’t have to watch those two movies one more time. Some Things Never Change would probably be ingrained in his mind for the rest of his life. 

But still, it was something the twins really liked, and really- who was Harry to ever say no to them? He was weak to the mercy of the twins, and everyone knew it. He didn’t think he’d ever get good at saying no to them. Which was why it sucked when he had to be the ‘mean’ parent. 

That was probably the thing Harry struggled with most in his life, the single parent aspect. He had to the the nice parent and the mean one, the easy one and the strict one, the gullible one and the bossy one. He had to do everything all at once and it was hard. He had known that raising a Tomlinson would be hard, but times that by two was honestly impossible. 

But then there were moments like these. Moments when they were blasting Let It Go and bobbing around in the kitchen with the two of them. They were barefooted, dressed in nothing but their pajama shorts and having a great time. And it was times like that that made all those hard parts all worth it. 

For a twenty four year old, Harry was probably getting way too into this song. “LET IT GO! LET IT GO! CAN’T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORREEEE!” He sang at the top of his lungs. It was probably the best performance he had ever sang, to be quite honest. The most emotional for sure. 

“I’m Elsa!” Robbie squealed, jumping around and waving his arms around. He pretended to use his ‘ice powers’ and it was adorable. The way his small face scrunched in focus, as if he was actually trying to shoot ice pellets from the palms of his hands. 

“I’m Elsa too!” Allie squealed, hopping onto a stool happily and pulling at her braid. It was the part in the movie where Elsa rips her braid out of her head and changes into the blue dress (yes, Harry did have the whole movie memorized), and Allie did the same. “LET THE STORM RAGE ONNNNNNNNN!”

The beat dropped. “The cold never bothered me anyway!” The three of them said in unison, all of them adopting different, dramatic poses. The song came to an end, and they all fell into a dramatic pause. If there was one thing his children had inherited from him, it was his flare for the dramatics. 

A few seconds later, their performance was followed by the sound of a slow clap. 

Harry jumped a foot in the air, letting out a small yelp of surprise. His head snapped up to look at the doorway of the kitchen. His eyes widened comically when he saw that it was none other than Louis Tomlinson standing in the doorway, clapping his hands together slowly. 

“Wow. I’m speechless,” Louis said, a small smile on his face. Harry didn’t know if he was being serious, teasing or just outright mocking him. He stopped jumping up and down immediately, the smile slowly falling off of his face. 

Allie and Robbie’s faces lit up at the sight of him, big smiles breaking onto their faces. “LOU!” They both exclaimed excitedly, immediately jumping up from where they were standing and running over to him. They sprinted over, grabbing onto the man’s legs and latching onto him. 

Louis smiled as well, and crouched down on the ground. “Hey there, loves!” He said brightly, kneeling down and gathering the two of them into his arms. The twins instantly wrapped their small arms around him and nuzzled into his neck. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, Lou!” Robbie said, pressing his cheek into the crook of his neck. “You never come see us anymore. Why don’t you come see us anymore, Lou?”

Oh, and that was another thing. It had been almost a week since the night at the bar- since he and Louis had apparently made out drunkenly on the dance floor. And ever since then, Harry had made a point of avoiding the man at all costs. He didn’t answer his calls or texts, and he made a point to get out of the house if he ever got news that Louis was going to pop over. He did whatever he could to not have to face Louis. 

It wasn’t the right way to go about it, Harry knew that. He knew that he was the one who was going to come between them if he kept pushing Louis away. But he just hadn’t had it in himself to actually face his ex. To face him knowing that the two of them had kissed and danced together, to know that he had forever embarrassed himself and that this wasn’t something to take lightly. 

He was a coward, but he didn’t care. Anything to avoid facing Louis. 

Louis hadn’t looked up at Harry yet, which was already a bad sign. Instead, he was looking at the twins with a smile. “I’m sorry, lovelies,” he said, pulling away from the hug but keeping them close. “I tried to come see you. I guess it just never worked out.”

“Oh,” Allie said, with a look of understanding. “Okay. ‘S long as you’re here now and you can play with us!”

Louis patted the girl on her hair, ruffling her curls lovingly. Harry tried not to think about how he used to be the one who’s curls were ruffled like that. “I would love to play,” he said nicely. “But I think you already have plans with Bear today.”

Harry didn’t bother to ask how or why Louis knew about the playdate that he had scheduled with Liam for the twins and Bear. He didn’t say anything, just focused on keeping his gaze trained expertly on the floor. He could already tell that Louis was not happy, even if he was doing a good job of hiding it. He could read him that way. 

The twins both nodded in unison. “We do!” Robbie said happily, bobbing his head up and down. “We’re gonna go play at his house soon, right daddy?”

He looked over at Harry for confirmation, so Harry nodded. “That’s right,” he said quietly, never lifting his head. He could feel Louis burning holes into his skull. It took everything he had not to curl in on himself in shame. 

“Well you better go get ready!” Louis said cheerfully, tickling them both in their tummies. Allie and Robbie both let out small shrieks of laughter as Louis tickled them, swatting his hands away. “I don’t think uncle Liam would approve of two little half-naked rugrats showing up at his house!”

The two of them giggled cutely. “Oki doki, Lou!” Allie said easily, her eyes bright and dancing. She grabbed Robbie’s hand and skipped away, happily listening to Louis. She never obeyed Harry that quickly- the smallest things usually turned into a fight with her, especially as she got older. 

The twins ran out of the room, and Harry silently wished they would come back. As pathetic as it sounded, he didn;t want to be left alone with the older man. Louis intimidated him, not because he was afraid that Louis would hurt him (he knew that he would never) but because he wasn’t ready to face him. He wasn’t ready to face an angry Louis Tomlinson, and he doubted he ever would be ready. 

Once the twins had run up the stairs, Louis rose to his feet again and the smile slipped off of his face. He crossed his arms over his chest, his face darkening. “What the hell, Harry?” He snapped, his voice low and intimidating. 

Harry cringed at his tone, shuffling his feet together. Now that he was under Louis' scrutinizing gaze, he felt exposed. His skimpy pajama booty-shorts didn’t help with that either, and he wrapped both his arms around himself. He swallowed thickly, but didn’t dare say anything yet. 

“What the actual hell?” Louis snapped again, his eyes narrowing. He was angry- more so than Harry had thought he’d be. “Are you ghosting me or something? Are you ignoring me? Or did you just wake up one day and decide you wanted to be a jackass?”

“Louis...” Harry said, his voice trailing off softly as he curled in on himself. He hated when Louis was upset with him, even if they weren’t even together anymore. He still hated it. 

But Louis either didn’t hear him or just decided to ignore him. “I have literally been calling you everyday and you haven’t answered a single one. And then I text you, because ‘maybe he’s just too busy to talk.’ But you don’t answer those either! I even show up at your house a few times and you aren’t even there! What the actual hell, Harry!”

Harry frowned at the ground, his fingers dipping into the meat of his arms. He was gnawing on his bottom lip, a habit he had acquired a long time ago. He did it whenever he was lying or nervous, and it was a dead giveaway. And the reason he was shit at lying. 

“Can we not do this here and now?” The twenty four year old asked quietly, his voice low. “Just… I don’t want to argue when the twins are still here.”

“I don’t want to argue, period!” Louis scoffed, running a hand through his unruly hair. Looked stressed and frazzled, his clothes rumpled and his hair messy. And his stress lines were prominent on his face. “God, Harry. Why do you have to make this so hard?”

“I don’t try to,” Harry said quietly, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. 

After what felt like forever, the twins came back down, blissfully unaware of the tension between the two of them. They skipped down, dressed and ready for a playdate, and then proceeded to practically smother Louis with attention. Not that Louis seemed to mind. He picked them up in his arms and would spin them around. He would talk happily with them and tickle them. And the three of them looked very happy. 

Harry just stood in the middle of the kitchen, not moving an inch the entire time. He was cursing himself mentally for being so stupid. He was wearing a pair of skimpy shorts that literally showed part of his butt and Louis’ old hoodie. And there he was, standing exposed in front of Louis. 

Not that Louis looked over at him once after the twins came back down. Not even a flicker from the corner of his eye. Nothing. And Harry wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse. 

It wasn’t long before Liam showed up on the doorstep with Bear to pick up the kids to go to his house. He walked in, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Louis in the house too. He looked torn at that, almost debating staying there with them. But Harry just shook his head at him, signalling that it was fine and that he wasn’t needed. So then Liam left with the kids, leaving the two of them alone in the house. 

Once they were gone, Harry felt his heartbeat quicken. Now it was just him and Louis in the house with no kids as a distraction to keep the tension at bay. It was just him with Louis. Together in the house. Alone. Without any excuses for him to make. He was caught. 

Again, they fell into silence. The tension was so thick that Harry felt like he could cut through it with a knife. It hung, heavy and silent in the air, causing everything to feel all the more intimidating. The silence just made him more antsy and nervous. 

It was Louis who cut through the tension first. Obviously, because it’s not like Harry was going to do it. He let out a long exhale, running his fingers through his hair. “We can’t keep doing this, Harry,” he said heavily, leaning against the counter. His stress lines were back. “We can’t keep going around in these circles. Do you even want this to work?”

Those words kind of stung Harry, because he  _ had  _ been trying to make this work. For the most part. “You know I do, Louis,” he said back, a snap to his tone. “And I’m trying.”

“Are you though?” Louis asked, his tone also holding a little bit of a snap, but it sounded more desperate than defensive, unlike Harry. It didn’t even sound angry, just maybe impatient and confused, which was understandable. “Because I thought we were fine and alright. Then we go get drunk and then you ignore me for a week! That doesn’t sound like trying to me, Harry.”

Harry’s jaw set and he looked determinedly upwards. He should have known that this was a bad idea. That ignoring Louis would have consequences. But he had just been hoping that, if he ignored it for long enough, it would just go away. They could just both forget about the whole thing. He just wanted to leave it and pretend that it never happened so that he could go on with his life and hope Louis would do the same. But, of course, nothing in Harry’s life has ever been that easy. 

“We weren’t just drunk,” he said quietly after a long moment. Louis narrowed his eyes in response to that, urging him to continue. “We did… stuff.”

“Oh for god's sake! We didn’t hook up or go drugs or go on a rampage or anything. Stop acting like this is the end of the world,” Louis scoffed, throwing his hands into the air. “We got drunk and danced and had one kiss! Stop acting like this is the worst thing to ever happen to you.”

“I know it’s not the end of the world,” Harry answered back, crossing his arms over his chest again and holding them tightly around himself. At least they gave him some comfort, whereas Louis was just watching him with narrowed eyes. “It’s just hard,” he finished lamely. 

Louis rolled his eyes. “Sure, it’s been hard for you. But talking about it would have been a hell of a lot better than just ignoring me completely. What the hell was I supposed to think?” He asked, running his hands through his hair again. A habit he had. 

This time, it was Harry who narrowed his eyes. “How was I supposed to talk about it? How do I just bring up the fact that we got drunk and kissed and that it was a mistake. How am I just supposed to come out and say that? It’s not really one of your run-of-the-mill conversation starters.”

“I don’t know, you could have answered my calls. Or texts. Or answered the door when I stopped by almost everyday this week!” Louis exclaimed, his stress lines becoming more and more pronounced as they argued. “Or even give Niall a message to me so that I at least know that you didn’t run off to who-knows-where and that I’d never see you again!”

That last part caused Harry’s anger to slip from his face and was instead replaced with a confused look. “Run off?” He repeated, crinkling his nose up at that. He blinked a few times to actually register those words. “What do you mean ‘run off?’ Did you seriously think I was going to run off with the kids!?”

“I don’t know!” Louis exclaimed in stress, throwing his hands into the air. “I don’t know what you’d do anymore! I don’t even know you anymore, Harry! I don’t know if you’re to ask me to kiss you or if you’re going to scream at me or if you’re going to get ice cream with me or if you’re going to run off to Holmes Chapel unannounced again! I don’t know you anymore!”

Harry bit his lip at that, slowly lowering his eyes to look directly into Louis’ crystal blue ones. “Who’s fault is that, Louis?” He asked, slowly and quietly. 

“Harry…” The older man said warningly. But before he got angry, he just slumped onto the counter, the tension draining from his face. It looked like the anger just seeped out of him. He just looked… worn and tired. Stressed. Desperate. “I don’t want to fight anymore, Hazza,” he said after a long moment, his tone heavy and thick. 

The curly haired singer frowned at that. “I don’t want to either.”

“But you just make it so hard sometimes,” Louis continued, running a hand over his face. “You never want to talk and I can tell that you cringe every time you’re within eight feet of me. And I know that you don’t like me and don’t want me around, but do you even want this to work? Because I can’t read you anymore and I don’t know what you want.”

Harry swallowed thickly. “I do want this to work,” he said, his voice wavering.  _ ‘Dammit!’  _ he mentally cursed himself at the wobble of his voice,  _ ‘do NOT start crying. Do not cry. Not now. You’re being stupid. Don’t you dare start crying.’ _

But Louis didn’t notice. “Do you?” He continued. “Because it doesn’t seem that way. It seems like you hate me and hate that you ever have to see me.”

“I do!” Insisted Harry. And… fuck. His voice broke at the end and he felt his eyes start to burn. But he pushed it to the side and continued. “I do want this to work, Louis! And I’m trying! I’m trying so fucking hard but I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to do this! I don’t know anything either anymore! I don’t know what I want-  _ I _ don’t know me anymore! And no, I don’t know if I want you here yet- but I do know that I don’t want you to leave again! I don’t want to talk or call or text- but I don’t want you to stop trying! And I don’t know what to do! I just don’t want to be alone! So I am trying! I just don’t know how!”

Louis looked over at him, his eyes a little alarmed as he stared wide eyed at the man, shocked by the sudden outburst. But his face softened once he saw the distraught singer. Without another word, Louis walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him. 

Harry didn’t even fight it though. He just leaned right into the hug, relaxing the weight of his body against the other man. He pressed his forehead down onto Louis’ shoulder, not at all ashamed of the comfort right now. He just liked the hug. 

“I know, Harry. I know you’re trying. I’m just… this is all shit. All of it,” he said quietly, running his hands over Harry’s back soothingly in circles. It was nice, and it definitely helped calm the younger man down. “I know you’re trying hard, it’s just… I’m trying too.”

“I’m sorry!” Harry whispered quietly, his voice sounding broken. “I didn’t want to ignore you. I was scared and I thought it was just easier to ignore you than have to face you. I’m sorry.”

Louis was quiet for a moment, but his hands didn’t stop running over Harry’s back. “Why didn’t you want to just talk about it?” He asked. “We could have cleared it all up if we just talked. Why would you want to just leave it like that.”

Harry hiccuped from where he was leaned up against the other man, his hands fisting the back of his shirt. “Because I was scared,” he whispered quietly, his throat raw. “I was scared and I just wanted to forget about it. I thought that if we never brought it up we could just forget about it…”

Louis was quiet for a moment. Almost as if letting the words sink in. But then after a long moment, he swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. “Do you want to forget it?” He asked, his voice lower than it had been before. All of a sudden, his arms felt stiff but that might have just been Harry. 

Harry could swear he felt his heart skip a beat at those words. He opened his mouth to respond with ‘yes.’ Because of course he wanted to forget it, right? Why wouldn’t he want to forget about kissing his ex-boyfriend when he was drunk? Why wouldn’t he want to forget the embarrassment of telling Louis that he wanted him sexually? Any sane person would have said yes without a beat of hesitation. 

But Harry stopped before he could say a single word. He stopped, swallowing the words down before they came out of his mouth. He frowned a little. Of course he wanted to forget… didn’t he? Of course he should want to forget that night. Especially with Louis so blatantly offering to drop it. 

But then he remembered the flashes of that night that had come back to him. Louis pushing the other guy off of him. Louis being protective of him. Louis’ firm hands as they gripped his waist. The slow and perfect movement of their bodies together. The soft press of his lips. And then the burning need for something more than ignited inside of Harry when they touched. It all came flooding back to him. And it made him stop. 

_ Do you want to forget it?  _

“No…” Harry said slowly, the words just slipping out. He hadn’t even realized that he had said them until it was too late. But he didn’t cringe like he thought he would. Because the words felt strangely… right. So instead of cringing, he looked into Louis’ eyes. “No I don’t.”

His voice was still wavering and uncertain, but the effect was still there. Louis blinked at him, the shock registering on his face. “You…” he said, sounding completely taken aback by that. He blinked a few more times as if trying to process the single word. “You don’t?”

_ ‘Time to back out,’  _ Harry’s ever-unhelpful subconscious supplied, the voice echoing in his mind.  _ ‘Just say that you do want to forget. Don’t you know how much easier it would be if you just said no? You could walk away now without making this worse. Just agree to forget about it…’ _

“No,” Harry said, this time his voice a little more sure of himself as he lifted his chin a little more. He was now staring directly into Louis’ shocked eyes. “No. I don’t want to forget it… I don’t want to just forget that night?”

It was clear that Louis was struggling for words to answer him with. Clearly he had been expecting a different answer from the younger man. “But we kissed,” he sputtered, blinking rapidly at the curly haired lad. “We kissed and we danced… and you don’t want to forget it?”

“I don’t want to forget it,” Harry answered clearly, looking much calmer. But he suddenly faltered in his confidence when a different thought struck him. “You… do you want to forget it?”

“No,” Louis said hastily, cutting him off before he could finish the thought. It was probably a little too quick, since it made Harry raise his eyebrows questionally. “No, I don’t want to. I was just… confused. Why, Harry?” He asked, a small frown on his face. 

The younger swallowed thickly. “I don’t want to forget it because…” he said, his tone slow and monotone. He swallowed again. His throat felt dry as a piece of parchment paper. He felt like he could throw up at any second, the butterflies in his stomach flying rampant. “Because I liked it.”

Louis inhaled sharply. “You did?” He asked, his voice the one that was whispering now. 

Harry nodded, feeling much more insecure now. He wrapped his arms around himself into a hug, curling in on himself a little as he shifted from side to side. “I did…” he said, swallowing. “I liked it.”

He didn’t bother looking at Louis’ face again, because he couldn’t bring himself to lift his eyes from the ground again. But he felt Louis take a step closer to him and touch his waist lightly. Harry furrowed his brow at that, daring himself to look up again. 

When he did, he saw Louis looking at him, tilting his chin down. There was a small smile on his face, and his eyes were squinted in a way that made Harry feel weak in the knees. “Good,” he said after a moment. His voice was rough. “Because I did too.”

And then they were kissing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is important too. School is just starting up and I know that that can be really hard for people mentally. So I just want to let you all know that if you’re struggling with something and want to talk, just dm me on insta (@_pink.sunsets_) I really do care about you guys, so please reach out if you ever need to talk to someone, even if it’s just if you want someone to listen. 
> 
> Or even if you’re not struggling at the moment and still want to come chat, please do!! I literally love you guys ❤️


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!
> 
> MAY SEND SOME READERS (ahem, talia, ahem) INTO CARDIAC ARREST!
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
> 
> Another warning, use of homophobic language

Four days later, Harry checked his reflection in the car mirror one last time. He frowned when he noticed that his hair was still quite unruly, sticking up in multiple places. All the work he had done earlier that morning was all out the window now, as his hair was completely messed up. 

Next to him, someone else was doing the exact same thing. The person in the other seat was rearranging their clothes and fixing their hair as well, fixing up their unruly appearance that Harry had caused just a few moments ago. 

“Ugh,” Harry frowned, trying to keep a certain strand of hair down, but no sooner that he let it go, the curl just sprung up again. Like a spring. The rest of his hair wasn’t much better, and it made his frown deepen as he looked at it. “I can’t fix it at this point. My hair is a mess now. Thanks a lot.”

Louis shrugged easily from where he was sitting in the Driver’s seat, a shit-eating expression on his face. “Not my fault,” he said gruffly, reaching up to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. Harry tracked the movements, his gaze lingering on the swollen lips, before shaking his head. 

“How isn’t it your fault?” He shot back, rolling his eyes. He went back to trying to fix his hair, tearing his eyes away from the other’s mouth. Instead, he focused on instead trying to make his hair look relatively normal again. “You pull too hard. It messes up my hair.”

“Fine, I won’t pull next time we have a ‘secret meeting’ in your car,” Louis said, rolling his own eyes as he ran a hand through his own fringe. It wasn’t even messed up, perfect was always. Not at all like they had been snogging in the car. It was clear that Harry had been the one who had ended up with the wildest and the most messed up hair.

Harry was quick to shake his head. “No,” he said sternly. He looked over to fix Louis with a hard stare, his eyes narrowing a little. “No. This is not going to happen again. This was the last time we ever do this again. After we leave this car-  _ this  _ is over.”

He said it with such determination and sure of himself that Harry almost believed himself this time. It sounded sure enough to himself. But clearly it didn’t give off the same effect to Louis, who just raised a single eyebrow at him and pursed his lips. 

“You mean just like you said last time?” He asked, coyly as a small smirk appeared on his lips. It was the same proud, satisfied smirk he got whenever he finished kissing.Pleased with himself for some reason for kissing Harry. It made the younger scowl and smack him on the arm. 

“This time really is the last time,” Harry said, his voice even and sure. Louis just raised his eyebrows again, and Harry smacked him again. “I mean it, Louis! We can’t keep sneaking out to my car to make out whenever we feel like it! This is the last time. For good.”

But Louis didn’t look convinced. He still had that coy expression on his face. “Okay, Hazza,” he said slowly, the smirk still on his face. “Whatever you say…”

Harry groaned. “Louis, I’m being serious,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We have to stop.” He tried again to press his curls back down onto his head. To his frustration, it just bounced back up, a clear sign of Louis’ fingers that had been tugging at them and messing them up just a few moments before. 

“Why?” Louis asked, a small frown appearing on his face. “Why do we have to stop this?”

“Because we’re broken up!” Harry hissed, lowering his voice as if to make sure no one could hear. He looked from side to side as if making sure that no one was watching their rendezvous. Thankfully, they were alone in the Syco parking lot and there were no signs of any cars passing through. But still, you could never be sure who could hear. 

But Louis didn’t seem to get it. “But why does that mean we have to stop?” He asked, his brows knitting together. “I like it, and don’t even try to tell me that you don’t like it because you don’t moan like that when you’re not liking it-” Harry blushed crimson- “and besides, YOU were the one who kissed me first at your house!”   
  


The younger’s face burned, but he pushed it down and continued. “That’s not the point!” He insisted, sputtering a little. “The point is that we can’t keep doing this anymore. Period.”

“But why, Haz?” Louis asked, pouting as he jutted his swollen lip out. “You like it and I like it, right? So I don’t see what the problem is.”

“It doesn’t matter if I like it or not,” the curly haired singer said, running his hand through his unruly curls. “We just have to stop. It’s not right. We’re broken up.”

“Neither of us are dating anyone,” Louis pointed out, frowning a little. “We’re not seeing anyone, so I don’t see why it’s so wrong.”

Harry sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair some more as he tried to make it look normal. “Because we’re not teenagers anymore, Lou. We can’t just sneak out to my car to kiss before meetings anymore. We’re older and have responsibilities,” he stressed. “I have kids…”

“I do too!” Louis insisted. “But I don’t stop seeing people just because I have Freddie-”

“Hang on, hang on, hang on,” Harry said hastily, cutting him off as he put his hands in the air. Louis snapped his mouth shut promptly. “We’re not together,” Harry stated slowly, a frown on his lips. “This isn’t us being together… that’s not what’s going on here.”

Louis waved him off. “Yeah, yeah,” he said easily. “We’re not together, but we still meet in your car to make out everyday. And besides, we used to be together, so it’s basically just… rekindling stuff or something.”

“We’re not together,” the younger stressed with a frown. “And this isn’t going to keep happening. After this, I’m done for good. No more secret kissing, okay? Time to get back to the real world where we have real shit to figure out, okay?”

“Okay,” the twenty six year old said, nodding affirmatively. “Whatever you say, Hazza. Oh, and one more thing…” Harry looked over at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to continue. “You look fucked,” Louis finished, a smirk appearing on his lips. 

Harry smacked him again. “Stop!” He exclaimed, checking himself over in the mirror. Sure enough, he did look fucked. His cheeks were flushed a pink colour that only deepened with Louis taunting. His lips were puckered and swollen from the heated kissing session. His hair was a mess of its own, sticking up as a result of Louis’ hands. His eyes were glassy and innocent, as they always were after their rendezvous. And he may or may not have a slight bulge in his skinny jeans. 

He looked himself over, before groaning again. “We have a meeting in five minutes!” He exclaimed, burying his face in his hands. “You asshole!”

Louis let out a light, breathy laugh. It really didn’t help with his problem in his pants. “Sorry, babe,” the nickname just slipped out, but neither of them noticed. “But you were the one who made me do it. With your big green eyes and those sinful lips-”

“Ah, stop it,” Harry cut him off swiftly, slapping a hand over the top of the other’s mouth, effectively cutting him off. “Don’t you finish that sentence. We’re not together, remember? You don’t get to say things like that. We were just kissing with no strings attached. That was what we agreed on.”

“I didn’t sign anything. Don’t make this sound like some sort of contract, Haz,” Louis said, rolling his eyes. And even though it was supposed to be a joke, it hit close to home for both of them. Louis cleared his throat. “Besides, we only did this in the first place because you couldn’t stay away.”

Harry scoffed, letting the contract comment slide easily. “You’re so full of yourself,” he said instead. “Now come on, we have to get to that meeting if we don’t want to be late.”

But what Louis said had been pretty accurate. After Louis had spontaneously appeared in his kitchen four days ago and they had kissed, Harry had been intoxicated. He found that he just couldn’t stay away. He had gotten one sober taste of Louis and then it was game over. He couldn’t get enough. He craved him; his touch, his smell, his taste. Harry found that he couldn’t get him out of his mind. 

He didn’t really know how it started, but somehow, the next day, there had been a Syco meeting. And Harry had only been meaning to talk to him and invite him to the twins’ upcoming birthday. But somehow instead, he had ended up in Louis’ lap, snogging the living daylights out of him. They had kissed like the world was coming to an end. And Harry thrived on it. 

But it only made him want more, and then more, and then more. Pretty soon, they were making out whenever they had the chance. Sneaking off like a couple of teenagers to sneak a few stolen kisses. It had been pathetic, but it finally made Harry feel whole again being kissed by Louis. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it until it was actually happening, and then it couldn’t get enough. 

It had been an unspoken agreement to not say anything. Just the common understanding that they both needed each other, even for just a few moments, to kiss and claim one another. That was really all it was. They craved one another, so they just made out. No string attached- just kissing. 

Louis rolled his eyes again. “Yeah, yeah,” he said, the smirk dropping from his face. “Back to Syco. You know, skipping a meeting wouldn't be the worst thing in the world…”

“James would have our heads,” Harry pointed out. 

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Louis answered back. But he fixed his shirt and climbed out of the car nonetheless. Harry followed suit, both of them hopping out of his Mercedes. 

Harry walked around to the front of the car to head inside, before Louis walked up to him. Harry grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Hey,” he said quietly, his voice just barely above a low whisper. “That was the last time.”

Louis just smirked in response. “Whatever you say,” he said back. “Oh, and Harry?” Harry turned around to answer him, before he felt the soft, familiar press of lips against his own. 

His eyes closed on instinct and he pressed closer. Two hands dropped down to grip his waist, and Harry leaned fully into it. The lips then started sucking and nibbling on his bottom lip, and Harry released a small moan from his mouth in pleasure. He kissed back almost immediately. 

Louis was the one to pull away first. His eyes were half lidded as he looked down at Harry, his eyes twinkling. “Last time, hmm?” He hummed, his smirk reappearing. 

Harry blushed, but ignored it. “Shut up,” he shot back, leaning up for another kiss. “You asshole,” he said, his lips brushing over Louis’ and never breaking the kiss. He felt Louis smile into the kiss. 

***

Fifteen minutes later, the two of them were jogging down the Syco hallways, fixing their hair and clothes as they jogged down. Harry tried desperately to flatten his newly ruined hair-do, while Louis was focusing more on adjusting his jeans. 

All their hard work to fix themselves in the car had gone right out the window after Louis kissed him again. After that, the two of them had slipped over to the side of the building and proceeded to eat each other’s faces off. And now they were right back to where they started, messy appearance and late. 

The two of them ran down the hallway, late for the meeting that started five minutes ago. It was a full-band meeting with James and a few other people, which meant that it must be important. And they were late for it. 

“Here it is, here it is,” Harry gasped, out of breath from both the kissing and the running. He stopped in front of a door in the hallway, grabbing out for Louis’ wrist to stop him as well. He then shoved open the door, and the two of them practically fell into the meeting room. 

“We made it!” Louis exclaimed when they threw open the door, his voice out of breath as well. “We made it! We’re here!” 

The room was dead silent. Niall, Liam, Zayn, James and his assistant Tanya were all in the room, sitting at the long table. They all looked up at the interruption, each of them wearing various unimpressed expressions on their faces. Niall, Liam and Zayn were just watching them in confusion. Harry shrank back a little at all the attention on them. 

“You’re late,” Tanya commented, raising her eyebrows at them. She looked very annoyed at the two of them.

But Louis wasn’t fazed in the slightest by her. He just waved her off easily, not giving her a second thought. “Yeah, yeah,” he said loosely. “We didn’t mean to be late. And we’re here now so it doesn’t even matter anymore.”

“We have all been waiting here for you two to show up,” the assistant continued, her face only becoming more and more pinched. 

“Well it’s a good thing you don’t need to wait anymore,” Louis answered back sassily, moving to sit down in his regular seat next to Zayn. He plopped down into the seat, leaning back and completely ignoring Tanya’s disapproving glare that was being shot his way. 

But Harry was never nearly as easy going. “Sorry,” he apologized earnestly, moving carefully to his seat next to Niall and sitting down. “It won’t happen again.”

“I seriously doubt that, Mr Styles,” James commented offhandedly. But it was obviously directed at Harry, who frowned at that and shrank back into his seat some more. It had always been known that Harry had always been his least favourite, but it seemed like his hatred had only grown these past few years. “Now, let’s get started,” the man finished. 

He continued to talk about the weekly updates. It was all fairly boring PR stuff, about how they were leaking the band slowly, about the conspiracies and rumors that were already circulating, about the paps, etc. Just a bunch of stuff that Harry found unimportant. 

Niall elbowed him in the ribs. “Hey,” he hisses, his voice low so that only Harry could hear. “You’re late. What happened?”

“Nothing,” Harry answered back, his voice equally as quiet. “Nothing happened. I was just… held up.”

“But then why was Louis late?” The blonde man asked inquisitively, pressing the subject (much to Harry’s disappointment.) “Why were you both late at the same time on the same day? Did something happen? Was it the twins?” 

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat, a flash of him and Louis making out flashing before his eyes. He felt a faint heat creeping onto his neck at the thought. “Nothing happened,” he said hastily, swallowing thickly. “I was just late and he was just late. It was just a coincidence.”

Niall didn’t look convinced. “Well, did you talk to him?” He asked. “Did he bring up you ghosting him for the past week and a half after the bar incident?”

That was another thing. He hadn’t told Niall about Louis showing up at his house the other day. It was strange to not tell Niall, since they literally told each other everything- but he hadn’t mentioned it to the blond man. If he had, then Niall would have pressed for details, and Harry wasn’t willing to give those details, or else he’d have to tell him about kissing Louis. 

“It… didn’t come up,” the twenty four year old lied instead. “But he seems fine with it.”

Niall frowned a little at that, his eyes narrowing. And Harry knew him well enough to know that he was getting a little suspicious. “He seems fine with it?” Niall repeated slowly, his frown deepening. “That doesn’t sound much like Louis-”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know,” Harry interrupted him before he could finish whatever he was saying. He was feeling awfully uncomfortable now. “He just seemed fine with it. I don’t know what you want me to tell you. Maybe it was weird, but that’s that. That’s all.”

Niall wrinkled up his nose. “You’re weird, Haz,” he commented, turning away again and dropping it. Harry let himself breathe a sigh of relief that his friend didn’t press any harder. He never kept things from Niall, and he didn’t think he’d be able to hold it in any longer if he asked any more questions. 

Already, it was weird not to tell Niall. Usually he felt so open and honest with the blond man. After all, Niall had been there for everything and had seen him at his worst. So he had never had a reason to keep anything from him- never wanted to. But for some reason, he just didn’t want to tell Niall this. 

Maybe it was a fear of getting judged. Maybe it was because he was too uncomfortable with the situation. Or maybe Harry just didn’t want to say it out loud just yet for fear that it would all become too much and swallow him whole and then leave him broken and alone again. Either one of those would work. 

Plus, it wasn’t like he had seen Niall since the kissing started or anything. The last time he had seen Niall was after the bar. There wasn’t the chance even if he wanted to. 

James was still talking about all the unimportant stuff, so Harry nudged his friend again in his side to get his attention. “Hey,” he whispered. “The twins are gonna be at Gem’s for a while. We’re still hanging out after this, right?”

Niall hesitated. But before he could actually say anything, James was interrupting them. 

“Mr Styles, are you serious?” James asked, cutting himself off as he looked over at Harry with narrowed eyes, glaring at him. Harry swallowed thickly. 

“Sorry,” he said, shifting awkwardly in his seat at having everyone turn to look at him. “Sorry. Carry on.”

James rolled his eyes, but thankfully decided to carry on with the meeting anyways. He didn’t make some backhanded comment about Harry again, which he was thankful for. “Okay, so,” James said. “As you know, we need to start writing the album as soon as possible. And you have all, ahem, decided to do that alone. So I want you to start writing as soon as possible.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at the man. “How soon?” He asked carefully. 

But James just shrugged, his face void of emotion. “Soon,” he answered back. “We want to make the album so that our team can fine-tune it. Then we’ll be on tour again.”

“Wow,” Niall breathed, his eyes widening. “On tour that soon?” It was kind of crazy, that they were all going to be on tour. All going to be sharing rooms, performing and spending every second together. It was kind of exciting and intimidating at the same time. 

James just nodded. “Yes, on tour,” he said. “And we want to do it soon, so please write as soon as possible.”

The five boys all fell silent at that, all lost in thought. Harry was too, trying to imagine being on tour with the boys again. Being out, driving from city to city with them and performing their own songs together. It was crazy to think about. And this time he would have the twins. They would go on tour. With Bear, Crystal and maybe even Freddie for some of it. It would be the same, and yet so different. 

Tanya cleared her throat, snapping them out of their thoughts. “But first comes the actual confirming,” she said, back to business. “This week we’re all going to send you a script, and we want you to post it over your social medias; instagram, tiktok, twitter- everything. Then we’re going to confirm it next week.”

Zayn raised his eyebrows at that, looking surprised. “Just like that?” He asked

“We’ve already been working on it,” she continued. “Rumors are everywhere already. The paps have already leaked the pictures of Harry and Zayn, Harry and Niall, Zayn and Liam, Zayn and Liam, Niall and Liam, Liam and Louis, and Zayn and Louis. All we have left is to get some of Harry and Liam out together and then we’ll be all set.”

Harry swallowed thickly. They had stated every combination of the boys except for him and Louis. And even though they hadn’t said it directly, it was obvious that they did it on purpose. Still, after all these years, he wasn’t going to be able to interact with Louis. His heart felt strangely heavy. 

“What about me and Harry? You didn’t say me and Harry.” Of course Louis was going to bring it up. Harry cringed as Louis said it, slipping against his seat and ducking his head down and bracing himself. 

James rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. We want to spread rumors- but not  _ those  _ kinds of rumors,” he said, scoffing. It only made Harry slip further down into his seat. “Besides, I think we all know that Harry does enough of that.”

Niall sat up straighter. “What do you mean Harry does enough of that?” He demanded, fixing them with a look that could easily cause anyone to wither under his gaze. “What’s that supposed to mean? They haven’t been seen together in five years.”

“Oh, you know what kind of rumors there are out there,” James said, rolling his eyes at them. “They’re everywhere.”

Harry’s chest felt tight, and he was barely breathing. But still, he forced himself to speak. “No, James,” he said tightly, his face pinching. “We don’t know what kind of rumors you’re talking about.”

James’ face also hardened at him. “Fine. What do you expect when you dress like a pussy?” He snapped, his eyes narrowing at Harry. The temperature in the room had dropped several degrees at this point and Harry was finding it harder and harder to keep his cool. “It’s no wonder everyone thinks you’re a faggot.”

The room fell silent. Stunned. Frozen. Cold. The movement just stopped. It was frozen cold. Everyone just stopped breathing. And even though everyone knew that was what he had been thinking all along, nobody had ever expected him to actually  _ say  _ it. 

Liam was the first to react. He slammed his hands onto the table, standing up. “Fuck you,” he seether, anger radiating off him. His voice was just above a deathly whisper. “Fuck you.” 

He stomped over and grabbed Harry by the elbow, yanking him roughly. Harry had still been frozen up until that point. Liam then stormed out of the room, dragging Harry out the door while he stumbled behind him, still frozen in his shocked trance. 

Liam led the two of them out of the room, slamming the door closed behind them. “Stupid, ignorant, homophobic, fucking asshole,” he growled, his grip finally releasing his grip on Harry’s forearm. Harry staggered when he was released, blinking dumbly. 

The others came out only three seconds later, each of them wearing matching expressions of anger and shock. “God,” Zayn breathed, looking shocked and disbelieving. “Holy shit.”

“You homophobic pieces of shit! You fuckers! What the actual fuck was that supposed to be?!” Louis yelled as he was being yanked out of the room by Niall. His face was red with anger and it looked like his head was going to pop off. 

“Fuckers,” Liam hissed, glaring back at the door with such heat that it would have made anyone shrink back. “Come on, Haz. We’re going, come on.”

Harry swallowed thickly. It wasn't like he had never been called that word before, but it didn’t make it better. And it always hit him like a blow each time that he was called that. And for it to happen at work where he was supposed to be respected...

“Y-yeah,” he said, his voice trembling a little. “But, um, I was going to, uh, actually I was going to go to, um, with Niall…” 

Niall’s face fell a little and he paled. “Oh, shit, um, Amelia and I were going to… nevermind,” he shut his mouth suddenly, probably now feeling bad about it. But it was too late, and Harry felt his heart start to sink. 

“You were cancelling on me again?” He asked, almost in disbelief as he stared at his friend, blinking a few times. He felt sick. “Again, Niall? This is the sixth time this week… you know what, nevermind. Let’s go, Liam.”

“No, Haz, I’m sorry. Here, I’ll text her now, okay? Mia and I can reschedule. Come on, let’s go to your house and we can watch one of your crappy rom coms…” Niall said. He was already taking his phone out of his pocket, but Harry just shook his head. 

“No. I don’t even feel like it anymore, Niall. Come on, Li,” he said, turning around and grabbing Liam’s arm. Liam took a hint and nodded, walking towards the front door. Niall didn’t even chase after them. And Louis and Zayn just stood back there, watching him leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a lot of people aren’t gonna like this chapter, but please tell me what you think in the comments. I’m genuinely curious about this one because I kinda hate it #insecure


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who’s been reading!! I love you all and just wanted to say that you all mean so much to me. I don’t want to get all sapp and emotional (oh wait... too late) but it really does mean a lot, so thank you too ❤️
> 
> This chapter is for quinn_iona :)  
> And of course for talia, obviously. This story practically belongs to her.

It was the twins’ birthday party, and Harry was ready. He had been preparing for this for the past two weeks, making sure he got the right cakes, the right decorations, invited everyone and made it all perfect. It was going to be their fifth birthday and he wanted everything to be perfect. 

Their past birthdays hadn’t been so great. Last year they had turned four and it had also been the week that they had all come down with the flu. The three of them had been home sick for a whole week, puking and passing out left and right. Anne had even flown in to take care of them, despite Harry’s protests. 

The year before that had been their third birthday and that had been a disaster in itself. Allie had been in a particularly bad mood and Robbie was just crying all the time. Harry hadn’t been much better though, since he had spent the night crying over a new article about Louis and Eleanor. The tip of the iceberg had been when Allie had shoved Robbie into a glass table and he had been rushed to the Emergency Room to get seven stitches into his forehead. 

Their second birthday had been a disaster from the start. There had been a tropical storm and meant that nobody could come. Anne and Robin were trapped in Holmes Chapel and Niall had been in Ireland. None of them had even been able to get into LA until a week after the party. So Harry had just spent the night at home with them, watching movies until the power went out. 

Their first birthday they didn’t even remember. Harry barely remembered it. All he could remember was them falling asleep for most of the day. Then that night he was a drunk mess, and Niall had had to go over to his house to calm him down. It hadn’t been pretty. 

So that was why, for their fifth birthday, everything was going to be perfect. Harry was going to make sure of that. They were going to have a great birthday, even if it killed him. 

Everything was already in motion. He had made sure to invite everyone that needed to be invited; Anne, Robin, Gemma, Micheal, Liam, Ollie, Bear, Zayn, Gigi, Zayn, Christle, Niall, Louis and Freddie. He had made sure to put it on a day that everyone was free, because he needed everyone there. And he needed everyone to be there to make sure that it was all so perfect. And so he needed everyone to be there. 

It was Frozen themed, obviously. There were snowflake paper plates, Olaf napkins, an Elsa and Anna cake and a snowglobe decoration. He had gone all out with the decorations. The entire house looked like Frozen had barfed all over it. It was either beautiful or tacky, but Harry was proud of it. 

He had been up all night and had probably chugged four mugs of coffee to stay up. He was basically vibrating with pent up energy and was only really going on the crp ton of caffeine that was pumped into his system. Anything to keep him going.

At the moment, Harry was in the kitchen, checking the time for the fifth time. 10:26. Everyone was supposed to get there in four minutes. He was excited. This was going to be the best birthday ever. 

But he was also a little anxious. He hadn’t left things on the best terms with a lot of the people coming to the party. He hadn’t talked to Niall since the meeting, despite the other man calling and texting him. Then there was Zayn, who he still wasn’t entirely comfortable being around one-on-one ever since their fight at Liam’s house. And of course there was Louis, who he hadn’t seen since the meeting. 

All in all, it was definitely going to be eventful, no matter what was going to happen at the party. He was just praying nothing bad would happen. 

“Daddy, daddy!” Robbie chanted, his small feet running into the kitchen. He had a bright expression on his face, clearly very excited. It was enough to make Harry smile as well. No matter what happened today, it was going to be a good birthday as long as his kids were happy. 

Harry knelt down, catching the boy in a hug. “Hey, baby,” he said, squeezing the boy tightly. “Are you excited about your party?”

Robbie nodded enthusiastically. “Yep!” He said brightly, his head bobbing up and down. “M’ really excited! When’s the people supposed to come here?”

Harry looked over to the clock again. 10:27. It was almost go-time. His heart started beating a little faster at that, whether from excitement or nervousness. Or both. “Three minutes, love,” he answered, looking back at the boy. “But people should start to get here at any minute now. Do you know where your sister is?”

“Um, Allie’s prolly still getting ready,” Robbie responded. “She’s a slow poke. I think she’s doing her hair.”

Harry smiled at that, tapping him on the cheek. “Hmm, I’ll bet,” he said in amusement. Sometimes Allie was just too much like him… though usually she was more like Louis. But times like these it was clear that she was his daughter, and that made him smile. “Can you go get her? Everyone’s going to be here soon.”

Robbie nodded obediently. “Okay, daddy,” he chirped. Then without another word, he was spinning around on his heel and running out of the kitchen, skipping the entire way towards the stairs. Harry sighed as he watched him go. He really needed this to be perfect- for them. 

Growing up, Harry had always loved his birthday. Every year, Anne had made a big deal out of it. They never had much money growing up, especially after Des had left. But still, she had always scraped together just enough to buy him his favourite cake and organized a small party. Usually it would just be him and Anne and Gemma, since he had never had many friends before One Direction. But still, his mum always found a way to make his day special for him each year, and he loved it. 

Which was why he was determined to make this a good birthday. This was going to be the first one they would remember, and he was going to make it a good one. He was going to make sure that this birthday was as special as the ones he had had growing up. 

Harry was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of the doorbell ringing. He snapped back to reality at the sound, and shook off his nostalgia. He made his way to the door, and twisted the doorknob, pushing the door open. There stood Zayn, Gigi and Christle, all of them smiling. 

“Harry!” Exclaimed Gigi, throwing her arms around the man before he even had the chance to say anything. But he snapped out of it and wrapped his arms around the woman. 

“Hey Gigi,” he said warmly, hugging her back. “I’m so happy you guys could make it!”

“Of course!” Gigi said, releasing her grip around him and taking a small step back. “We literally wouldn't miss it for the world. I just can’t believe those angels are five already! Where are they anyways?”

“Upstairs,” the twenty four year old replied, rolling his eyes in amusement. “Allie needed to fix her hair.”

Zayn smirked at that. “Like father like daughter, eh Haz?” He said lightly. 

Harry cracked a smile at him, though it was a little bit forced since he was still a little on edge around Zayn ever since their fallout. But he smiled nonetheless. “I guess so,” he answered, stepping to the side of the doorframe to make room. “Anyways, come on in. The twins will be down any second.”

The three of them stepped into the house, and Christle took a step over to Harry and tugged on his sleeve until he looked down at the girl. “I have presents,” she said, holding out two white gift bags that were neatly packed with sparkly tissue paper. No doubt Gigi had made them. 

Harry smiled sweetly at the girl. “Awe, thank you so much,” he smiled. “Do you want to go put them on the table over there?”

The girl nodded, before skipping over to the coffee table to place the presents on the coffee table. Harry turned to the two parents. “She’s adorable,” he gushed quietly. 

“She is,” Zayn said smiling as he watched his daughter. Really, Harry wouldn’t be surprised if she grew up to be a daddy’s girl by the way she had Zayn wrapped around her little finger. The man looked so taken with the small human, and it was honestly a beautiful thing. Even if they weren’t on the best terms at the moment, Harry was still very happy for him. 

“Well, feel free to take your shoes off,” Harry said. “Make yourselves at home. I probably won’t be getting the wine out until later though, but feel free to do whatever. Allie and Robbie can show you where the washrooms are…”

Gigi patted him on the shoulder, cutting him off with a small laugh. “Calm down, Harry,” she said, patting his shoulder. “We’re fine. Stop stressing.”

“I’m not stressing,” Harry insisted with a frown, his face growing a little hot. “I’m just trying to make it perfect, that's all.”

Gigi just looked at him softly. “It already is,” she said soothingly. “Everything is going to be great. Just relax and enjoy yourself. It’s going to be perfect.” She then glanced out the window. “Now, I think someone else is here…”

Harry moved over to the door just in time for it to open on it’s own. He paused for a moment, until he saw a familiar mop of straight, brown hair followed by wide brown eyes. He smiled instantly. “Hey Drew!” He said happily, bending down to grab his nephew into a hug. 

Drew hugged him back. “Hi, uncle Harry!” He said happily, smiling brightly. He had already lost his two front teeth, and it was cute to see his gummy smile. “Where’s the birthday boogers?”

Harry raised an eyebrow at that. “You mean your cousins?” He clarified, amused by that nickname. He bet anything that Gemma taught it to him. Drew nodded in affirmation. “They’re upstairs getting ready. But you might wanna go get them and tell them that everyone is showing up now.”

Drew nodded. “Oki doki,” he chirped, wiggling out of Harry’s arms. He made to run up the stairs, but nearly ran into Christle in the process. He bumped into the girl, causing them both to stumble back. “Oops, sorry,” he said immediately, his eyes widening in surprise. 

Christle blushed, looking down at her feet and tucking her hair behind her ears. “It’s okay,” she said, smiling a little at him. 

“I’m Drew, Robbie and Allie’s  _ older _ cousin,” he said, making sure to emphasize the older part. “I’m eight years old, did you know that? That’s pretty old, you know.”

“Wow,” Christle said, her eyes widening a little. “You’re as old as Freddie. I’m only this many,” she said, holding up five fingers, “but I’m older than Allie and Robbie. My birthday already happened.”

Drew nodded, looking impressed. “Cool. Wanna come find them with me?” He offered. Christle just nodded, so Drew grabbed her arm and started running towards the stairs again, this time with the younger girl in tow. The two of them then hurried up the stairs, towards the twins’ rooms. 

“Well they’re getting on well,” a voice commented. Harry turned around to see that it was Gemma, standing in the doorway. Along with her was Micheal, Anne and Robin. “Though Drew has never really struggled with making friends. Keeping them is the harder part.”

“Gemma! Mum!” Harry exclaimed, first pulling his sister in for a hug, before moving onto his mother. He held on extra tight with his mother though, savouring the feeling of hugging her again. He felt like he hadn’t seen her in forever. “I missed you,” he whispered into his mother’s ear. 

Anne’s arms tightened around him. “I missed you too, sweetie,” she said kindly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “It’s been too long.”

Harry nodded. “You never visit me,” he teased her. 

But Anne just rolled her eyes, not going for it. “Not visiting goes both ways, sonny,” she shot back, poking him in the stomach. She frowned a little at that. “Harry, you’re thin. Have you not been eating enough again? Has it been the stress? Are you feeling okay?”

Harry batted her hands away, blushing. “Mum,” he hissed. “Stop it.”

Thankfully, Anne let it go, but the frown was still on her face, telling Harry that she was not done with this conversation. But he just moved on to Robin and Micheal, giving them each a quick side-hug. When they were done saying hello, the kids were thundering down the stairs again. 

“GRANDMA! GRANDPA!” The twins squealed in unison. Harry watched as their faces brightened up instantly, and then they were off. He barely had time to blink before they were rushing straight past him and barrelling towards Anne and Robin at full speed. 

Robin snatched up Allie while Anne bent down to capture Robbie in her arms. “Hey there, sweetheart!” Robin exclaimed, lifting the small girl into his arms and hugging her tightly. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks grandpa!” Allie beamed, wrapping her small arms around the man’s neck and hugging him tightly. 

“Happy birthday to you too, Robbie darling,” Anne said, placing a kiss on the boy’s cheek and leaving a mark from her lipstick. 

Robbie grimaced at that, wiping it off with the back of his hand with a frown. “Yucky,” he said, blushing a little. “Thank you, grandma.”

“Did you bring presents?” Allie asked suddenly, looking around them for a sight of a gift. 

Harry’s eyes widened at that. “Allie, that’s not…” he started, but was cut off by his mother interrupting him. 

“Of course we brought presents!” She exclaimed happily to the girl, completely cutting Harry off before he could reprimand his daughter. “It’s your birthday, and we’d get anything for you little angels! The presents are just in the car right now, but maybe grandpa can go get them later, hmm?”

“Okay!” Robbie chirped happily, his eyes shining. “Come on, we’re gonna have a birthday party. Look, it’s Frozen!”

Allie and Robbie then proceeded to bounce over to Drew and Christle, going off to tell them about the Frozen theme and stuff. Anne then moved over to talk to Zayn while Robin went back out to get the presents from the car. Gemma and Micheal stepped inside too, Gemma going straight over to talk with Gigi. 

It was only a few moments later that the doorbell rang again. This time Harry was right by the door, ready to open it. This time though, it was Liam, Ollie and Bear standing there. 

“Hey,” Liam said cheerfully when the door opened. “Long time no see, H.”

Harry rolled his eyes. He and Liam had been spending a lot of time together recently. After the meeting, the two of them had gone to Liam’s house and gotten drunk on wine. Then the day after, they watched a movie at Harry’s. Liam had even come over to decorate the house with him, a job Niall would usually have done. 

“Whatever, Li,” he said, stepping to the side to let the family of three inside the house. “I’m glad you guys could make it to the party-”

“ALLIE! ROBBIE!” Bear yelled suddenly, cutting Harry off mid sentence. The twins’ heads snapped over to Bear and their faces immediately brightened up like the sun. 

“BEAR!” They cried in unison, throwing themselves towards the older boy. Even though Bear was so much older than them, he was still their favourite out of all of their friends. Bear was their best friend, and that made Harry happy. 

Ollie smiled at the exchange. “Thanks for inviting us, Harry,” he said earnestly. “It’s really great to see that Bear is getting along with some other kids. I love that they’re friends now.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, same with Allie and Robbie,” he said, watching the exchange between the kids. “I’m just happy that they’re making friends.” 

“Hey,” a voice said from the doorway. Harry looked over in surprise. He hadn’t heard anyone else walk up to the door. “Room for two more?” Louis asked, smiling weakly. 

Harry swallowed and smiled back. “Always,” he answered back, stepping to the side again to let Louis in. Freddie trailed in behind him, two wrapped presents in his hand. The two of them stepped into the house, and the room all seemed to stop and stare at them. 

It felt kind of awkward. Harry could practically feel what everyone was thinking. His mum was analyzing Louis’ every move like a hawk. Robin was staring him down as if daring him to do something wrong. Gemma was glaring daggers at him, while Micheal seemed to be holding her back from ripping Louis’ head off. Zayn seemed relieved that Louis was there. Liam’s eyes were darting to each of the family members, watching for a reaction nervously. Ollie looked indifferent, and Gigi was just watching for the drama to unfold (probably wishing she had brought popcorn.

They should have a reality TV show with how much drama went down. They’d probably get a ton of views. 

“I brought presents,” Freddie announced as he strolled into the room, completely unaware of the tension floating around. 

Harry was just grateful that he was cutting through the awkwardness. “Thank you so much,” he said nicely to the boy. “Do you want to go put them on the table over there, please?” Freddie nodded his head, and then walked over to the coffee table to put the presents down. Hardly anyone paid him any mind, as they were all watching Louis. 

Anne, ever the saint that she was, cleared the tension first. She shot Louis a small smile, but Harry had known her for long enough to know that it was fake and forced. “Hello Louis,” she said sweetly. “Nice to see you again.” She didn’t move in for a hug, which she did with everyone else. 

Louis smiled back nervously. “Hello Anne,” he said meekly. “Nice to see you too. You look lovely.”

“Thank you dear,” Anne said simply, nodding in thanks. 

Gemma, however, kept her frown and scowl even as Louis turned to look at her. Actually, she might have even scowled more when they made eye contact, curling her upper lip at him. “Louis,” she said, though it was meant to be a greeting it sounded more like a grimace. 

Louis’ smile faltered. “Gemma,” he said nervously. He looked like he was about to break out into a sweat. “Nice to see you again.”

But Gemma didn’t miss a beat. “Wish I could say the same,” she commented, narrowing her eyes. Harry leaned over to kick her in the shin, shooting her a glare out of the corner of his eye, warning her to be nice. The woman just rolled her eyes in response, but she didn’t say anything else. 

Freddie walked over towards the other kids. Robbie looked up when he walked over and a smile broke out on his face. “Freddie!” He exclaimed, hurrying over to give the boy a hug. Freddie just patted him on the back somewhat awkwardly, seeming a little taken aback from the sudden hug. But Robbie didn’t seem to notice. 

“Oh,” Allie said, looking over. Her expression soured a little. “Hi Freddie.”

Freddie just raised an eyebrow at her. “Hi Allie,” he replied. He then held out the presents for her to take. “Here you go. They’re presents for you and Robbie.”

“You got me a present!?” Robbie practically squealed, latching back onto Freddie. “Thank you, Freddie! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Freddie just patted him on the back. “No problem,” he said easily. 

Drew, however, looked at Freddie and did a double take. He stared at him, blinking a few times as shock was written over his face. “Um,” he stammered, blinking non stop at the other boy. “Who are you?” 

“M’ Freddie,” Freddie said, shooting Drew an easy smile. But that didn’t make any difference. In fact, Drew’s brows just creased together even more. 

“No,  _ who  _ are you?” The eight year old pressed in confusion. He then looked over at Robbie, who was still pressed into Freddie’s side, and pointed at him. “And why do you look so much like Robbie? You look like you’re his brother or something.”

And Harry was not exaggerating when he says that his heart stopped inside of his chest for a second. His head snapped over to the kids again, having heard the entire conversation. Everyone had heard the entire conversation, and the adults had gone completely silent. Everyone looked suddenly three shades paler. 

Freddie wrinkled his nose. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “We’re not brothers.”

“Yeah. He’s my brother, stupid, ” Allie corrected, poking her cousin in the side. But Drew didn’t even look her way once, which he usually would have done. Usually he would have poked her back, which would have led to a fight, but instead he was staring at the other two boys. 

“But you look the same,” he pointed out, his frown increasing. “Look! Same face, same eyes, same nose, same hair. You look the same.”

“Hey,” Bear said in realization. He leaned forward, squinting his eyes as he looked at them. His eyes then went wide again. “You  _ do  _ look the same! Look, daddy, they look the same!”

The two were still standing beside one another. They were practically face to face, though Freddie was a couple inches taller. But standing next to each other, it was impossible to deny the fact that the two of them did look absolutely identical. They both looked exactly like Louis, and were spitting images of one another. With the same feathery light hair, the same striking blue eyes, the same high-rise cheekbones. Bear was right, even their noses looked the same. The two of them looked like they were the ones who were twins, not Allie and Robbie. 

“Bear…” Liam called softly, but his own voice shook a little nervously. His gaze shot over to Harry and Louis from the corner of his eyes, almost waiting apprehensively for what was going to happen. 

Harry felt faint. He felt like he could fall over at any second. Like his knees were about to give out from under him. Now all the kids were staring at him, waiting for what he was going to say. He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. Only a choked sound. He was speechless. 

The door opened up from behind them before he could say anything. 

“Hey everyone!” Niall said cheerfully, stepping into the house with a bright smile on his face. He took one look around the room, before his smile slowly slipped off of his face. “What did I miss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so now that you read this, go read Worth Fighting For by Bumble_Bee_Be :)


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been so long!! I literally feel so bad, but I hope you like it. It’s short, but I’m literally so tired right now and I just want to get you another chapter. I wrote this at 1 am, so sorry if it’s messy. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you like it. And if you don’t, please pretend you do because I’m sensitive and insecure. 
> 
> As always, for Talia who is basically my favourite person on this app. All bragging rights go directly to her please and thank you.

The party was not perfect. That much Harry could tell already. 

“Hey everyone,” he said, his voice shaking a little. The adults all turned to look at him with various glances of sympathy, obviously picking up on the tremble in his voice. He just prayed that the kids didn’t. “Um, how about we go, uh, play some of the games in the living room? Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

Allie’s eyes lit up. “Yeah!”

But Robbie however, was still frowning. His eyes weren’t looking at Harry, instead they were now trained thoughtfully on Freddie, a small crease in his brows. “Hmm…” he said slowly, blinking a few times at the older. “Wait a second… you  _ do  _ look like me?”

Freddie scoffed. “Do not,” he shot back, rolling his eyes. “I have way better hair.”

“Oh shut up,” Drew said, scowling at the other boy. He clearly wasn’t impressed. “We’re not talking about your hair right now. Can’t you see that you and Robbie look the same?”

Freddie crossed his arms at Drew, but looked at Robbie nonetheless. There was nothing anyone could do as the kids blatantly ignored Harry’s suggestion, instead beginning to size one another up. “Hmmm,” Freddie said, his eyes narrowing. “Actually… you do kinda look like me…”

Robbie looked like Christmas had just come early. “Really!?” He squeaked, jumping up and down a little. “I look like you, Freddie? You mean it?”

Freddie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t wee yourself,” he said half heartedly, watching the younger, excited boy. “It’s not something to get excited over. It’s just… weird.”

Robbie deflated a little. “Why’s it weird?” He asked, cocking his head to the side and looking a little put out. Disappointed or something like that. Like he was being rejected by Freddie, who he seemed to worship. 

“Well,” Freddie said, not even realizing the other boy’s frown. He was too busy looking at him suspiciously. “Because you’re not my brother. You’re not supposed to look at me.”

“Yeah,” Allie spoke up, her own face pinched into a thoughtful frown as well. “You’re my brother. You’re supposed to look like me! Not like Freddie. We’re the twins!”

And to be quite honest, the two five year olds looked nothing alike. Allie had dark brown curly hair, while Robbie’s was a light feathery brown. Allie had bright green eyes that seemed to light up any room, while Robbie’s were a beautiful shade of baby blue. They looked nothing alike, and if you didn’t already know, you wouldn’t have been able to tell that they were twins at all. And compared to Harry, only Allie looked like him. 

Freddie nodded in agreement. “I don’t have a brother. Or a sister,” he said with a small frown. “Nobody looks like me. But I look like my daddy.”

“I look like  _ my  _ daddy,” Allie added in proudly. 

Robbie frowned. “But… but I don’t look like my daddy…” he said slowly, his brows starting to come together into his head. “How come I don’t look like my daddy. How come I look like Freddie instead? That doesn’t make sense…”

“Maybe you look like your mommy. I look like my mommy,” Christle supplied helpfully. She then paused, cutting herself off mid thought. She narrowed her eyes. “Wait… do you even have a mommy?”

“No we don’t have a mommy. Daddy says that we aren’t ever gonna have a mommy cuz he doesn’t like girls. He likes boys,” Allie pointed out, stating it matter-of-factly. “We just have daddy. That’s it. No mommy.”

“My dad likes boys too,” Bear spoke up. “That’s why I have two daddy’s.”

Robbie frowned. “We only have one…” he said. “And I don’t look like him.”

“Actually,” Freddie said, cocking his head to the side. He studied Robbie for a long moment, before glancing towards Louis thoughtfully. Harry felt his heart stop. “You actually look like my dad.”

Harry felt numb. It was like his mind was frozen at the same place, whirling around inside of him as he scrambled to think of something- anything to say. But all he was drawing was a blank. His entire mind was just a blank. This day wasn’t supposed to come where they would find out, let alone at their birthday party. He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say or how he was supposed to say it. He could barely do anything but open and close his mouth a few times like a fish while the kids continued to stare at each other in confusion. 

Anne, bless her soul, also tried to step in. “I think I see a cake over there? Does anyone want to go get some cake?” She suggested cautiously. 

Even though the cake was meant to be for later, at least that seemed to get the kids’ attention. “Cake?!” Squealed Allie, jumping up and down excitedly. “Yeah, yeah,yeah! I want some cake!”

The other kids must have also agreed, because pretty soon the conversation was being dropped and the littles all seemed to be swarming Anne. But Harry didn’t notice any of that. Everything was just a blur. 

He was brought back to reality by a hand wrapping itself around his upper arm and giving him a small tug. Harry blinked a few times, looking over at Louis. The older man was watching him with wide eyes as well, tugging him by the arm in the direction of the doorway. Harry didn’t think, letting himself be pulled away. 

The two of them snook off around the corner. Louis was the one leading, his hand ever wrapped around Harry’s arm while the younger followed dumbly behind him. They walked out of the room in silence, heading down the hall before rounding into the downstairs washroom. 

Louis released Harry’s arm once they stepped inside, and Harry staggered a little. It was like the hand had been the thing holding him together on the way over, and without it he was suddenly weaker. Thankfully, he caught his footing and managed to stumble over to the sink counter, and slumped against it. 

Louis closed the door with a small click, and pressed his back against the wood. He exhaled heavily, letting his eyes close. He looked stressed, the lines in his forehead more prominent. 

After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked over at Harry. “Hey,” he said softly, his eyes softening. “Are you okay? That was a little intense.”

Harry swallowed thickly before speaking. “I’m fine,” he said, his voice just a little wobbly. “I’m just… that was just kinda stressful. But it’s fine, I’m fine.”

“That’s… that’s good. Great,” Louis said, clearing his throat. He shuffled a little on his feet, his eyes never really meeting Harry’s own. Glad you’re fine.”

“I am,” the younger insisted. 

Louis nodded. “I believe you,” he said, though his tone suggested that he didn’t actually believe him at all. “I was just going to say that it would be okay to be a little stressed or worried or not fine. You know, if you weren’t.”

Harry’s frown deepened. “I’m fine,” he instead again through gritted teeth. “There’s no reason for me not to be fine. Everything is fine.”

“Good then,” Louis snapped back. “Glad you’re a-okay. I’m fine too, by the way. Just in case you were wondering.”

“Of course you’re fine. There’s no reason that you wouldn’t be fine,” the twenty four year old responded. “Nothing happened. They said a few things and came up with a few conspiracy theories. That’s all. No reason for either of us to not be fine, Louis.”

Louis frowned. “They’re not conspiracy theories if they’re true.”

Harry looked at him and narrowed his eyes. “But they don’t need to know that,” he shot back, the bite starting to come back to his tone and the wobble starting to disappear. “As far as the kids are concerned, nothing happened and this was just one fun conversation where they made a few guesses.”

“They were talking about how Robbie and Freddie are identical,” Louis pointed out with a raised eyebrow. “They said that he looked like me. That’s not making a few guesses. That’s an  _ observation _ .”

“One that, according to them, is just kids talking. There’s no proof behind anything if we don’t give it to them,” the curly haired singer said sharply. “They don’t actually know anything.”

“Yet,” the older added. Harry snapped his mouth shut and glared heavily at the other man, who just put his hands up in surrender. “Don’t get pissed at me, Harry. I’m not going to say anything. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t be too hard to put two and two together…”

Harry pressed his lips into a line. “They won’t put anything together,” he hissed quietly, his eyes narrowing. “They won’t put anything together because we’re not going to give them something to put together. They won’t know anything, Louis, because we’re not going to tell them anything.”

Louis’ face tightened. “I  _ wasn’t  _ going to say anything,” he said cooly. “You should know by now that I wouldn’t say anything. I’m just saying that they’re going to find out. God, Harry. I’m not always out to get you.”

At those words, Harry deflated a little. His shoulder went lax and he leaned against the sink counter again. He brought his hand up to his temples. “Yeah, you’re right. Of course you wouldn’t tell them,” he said heavily, the fight seeming to seep right out of him at those words. “I’m sorry. I know that.”

Louis also seemed to deflate as well. His tight expression seemed to drop off of his face and his features softened. “It’s alright, Haz,” he said softly. “It’s hard.”

“It is hard,” Harry agreed with him for probably one of the first times this year. “It’s really hard sometimes .”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” the man asked again, this time more gently. He actually seemed genuinely concerned, which made Harry’s heart beat just a little harder. Louis was looking at him with soft, worried blue eyes and he looked earnest. Harry swallowed thickly. 

“I will be,” he said, though the words were thick in his mouth. “It’s their birthday today and it’s really the first chance at a good one that they’re going to have, so I’m going to be fine for it. And you’re going to be fine. We are both going to go out there and be completely fine and this is going to be a great birthday.”

“Okay,” Louis said slowly. “But why do you sound so nervous?”

“I don’t sound nervous,” scoffed Harry. 

But the twenty six year old just raised his eyebrow. “There it is again,” he pointed out. “Your voice is all shaky. Come on, Harry. I know you better than anyone else, whether you want to admit it or not. I know when you’re nervous.”

Harry thought about denying it. It was tempting, but he knew that Louis would see right through it. He really hadn’t been lying when he said that he knew him better than anyone else. He knew that Louis could read him perfectly and could definitely hear the small wobble in his voice as he spoke. Even Harry could hear it in his own ears. 

So, deciding that there was no point in trying to deny it, Harry just sighed heavily. “Fine. You’re right,” he said, burying his face in his hands. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Louis looked sympathetic. “I know.”

“What do I say?” Harry asked miserably. “Do I tell them? And do I do it now and in front of everyone? Do I wait until they’re older? Are they going to figure it out on their own if I don’t tell them? Do they know already? How long should I wait before telling them? Or do I just not wait and spill right now? Or what about-”

Harry didn’t realize he was rambling until two firm hands were being placed on his shoulders. He cut himself off, blinking dumbly up at Louis. “Harry,” Louis said gently, his eyes soft. “Calm down, love.”

“I am calm,” Harry answered back immediately. “I’m fine. I shouldn’t be the one you’re worrying about. This is an actual problem and we need to figure this out.”

“We do need to figure this out,” Louis repeated gently, his blue eyes bearing into Harry’s green ones meaningfully. “But not right now. Not on their birthday. I want to tell them, I really do, but not on their special day. We have any other day to tell them. Just not today.”

Harry frowned. “But-“

“Nope,” Louis cut him off promptly. “It’s their birthday, Haz. Like you said, it should be perfect. God, I want to tell them, but not today. Not on their birthday, Haz.”

“When though?” The younger asked, his wide eyes staring up at the ex. “When do we tell them? Now or when they’re older?”

Louis sighed heavily, his arms dropping off Harry’s shoulders. He was silent for a moment, before speaking. “They’re your kids. You get to choose that,” he said quietly and painfully. Harry’s heart dropped just a little. “But not today. Just give them today and then you have the rest of their lives to choose. Just not today.”

And really, who was Harry to ever say no to that. His head dropped as he nodded it, his gaze trained on the ground. “Okay, Louis,” he said quietly. 

Louis nodded, his face tightened again but this time not from anger. “Yeah, well, they deserve this birthday to be the least fucked up it can be,” he said stiffly. “It’s no problem. Just don’t stress.”

“We both know that’s not going to happen,” the younger commented half heartedly. That earned him a somewhat forced, half smile out of the other man. 

“Try your best then,” Louis said easily. 

Harry smiled. “I will,” he said. He then paused, his eyes lifting to look the other in the eyes. His lips parted a little. “And Louis?” The older looked over, so Harry quickly leaned up and pressed a peck to his lips. He pulled away before Louis even got the chance to register what was happening, a blush decorating his cheeks. “Thanks.”

Before Louis could say anything or even move, he was moving towards the washroom door. He pushed it open and slipped out even before the older man got the chance to respond. He scurried out of there, blushing profusely and cursing himself. 

And missed the way Louis’ eyes followed him wistfully as a small smile coated his lips. 

***

The party went great after that. The order was a bit messed up because of the earlier dilemma, but it was fine. 

They had cake first, where the twins each for their own. Harry had actually made the cakes on his own from scratch (he did work in a bakery, after all) and he made sure they were perfect. Allie’s was blue and had mini Elsa and Ice Monster statues on it, while Robbie’s was white and pink with Olaf and Anna figurines. They were both cute, and the twins had absolutely adored them. Plus, they tasted delicious. 

Next they played games for a while that Harry had organized. They were just your basic birthday party games; pin the tail on the unicorn, musical chairs, freeze dance, etc. They were simple and fun, but the kids liked them. It was one of the joys of having such young kids- everything seemed like fun. 

After that they opened presents. Harry watched as they opened the presents, and couldn’t help but feel like it was a lot for a five year olds birthday. Hell, Gigi got them matching designer kid’s shoes from her latest vogue cover. It was pretty over the top, but it was expected. After all, every single person in that room was either a multimillionaire or related to one. 

After that the kids went off to play outside and the adults went to go sit on the patio for some wine. It was a little tense, especially for Harry. It felt like he was uncomfortable with all of them except for Gigi, Ollie and Liam. But he felt weird with each of the others, like it was tense. He didn’t like it. But nobody brought up the incident from before, so it was fine. 

After that, everyone left. One by one, they slowly trickled out of the house. They all left, until pretty soon it was just Harry and the twins alone again. 

Not that he minded. It was late already, and time for the twins’ bedtime. He could tell that the party had left all of them tired, so he was just grateful to be going off to bed. 

He was actually just tucking Allie into her blankets, when a small hand reached out and grabbed his wrist. He looked down at it in confusion, seeing his little girl holding onto him. “Hey, Allie?” he whispered softly. 

“I love you daddy,” the girl slurred, her voice sleep-ridden and tired. As it was, she was barely keeping her eyes open. “Thanks for the party.”

Harry felt his heart melt. To avoid turning into a puddle of goo, he bent down to press a kiss to her forehead. “No problem, sweetheart,” he cooed. “I love you too. Happy birthday, my sweet little girl.”

He was just pulling away when he heard the soft sound of her snoring. Sure enough, she was fast asleep. Her mouth hung open a little, her curls splaying out on her pillow. She looked so peaceful. Harry cast one more look at her before tiptoeing out of her bedroom. 

_ ‘Yes,’  _ Harry thought to himself as he climbed into his own bed. ‘ _ It was a perfect birthday.’  _ And he went to sleep thinking about how thankful he was for having two such perfect little angels in his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I’ve said before, I’m in Canada. Which means that this weekend is thanksgiving!! On that note, I am so thankful for all of you! Literally every single one of you who have read even just one of my chapters. It means so much and I am so grateful for you <3


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys, it’s almost Halloween. I feel like October just started. Well, better get planning for my costume. And no, I’m not going trick or treating- it’s for a party. 
> 
> For aditi and talia because they’re my favourite. Always.

It was official. One Direction was back together. 

Harry woke up that morning to his phone going crazy on his nightstand. It was still very early in the morning, since he was still asleep and the twins had yet to barge into his room to wake him up, so he was a little confused. He had literally no idea why his phone would be going so crazy at this hour or even who it could be messaging him. 

But he figured that it wasn’t important yet, and he was still tired. It wasn’t very often that he slept this well, so he just shrugged it off. He ignored his phone, and rolled back onto his side, determined to get at least a few more blissful minutes of sleep before he had to get up. 

The next time he woke up it was his phone again. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes after he had just drifted off to sleep again when the sound of his ringtone filled his room. Harry jumped in his skin, lunging across the bed for his phone. If the sound woke the twins, then he’d never get back to sleep. So he threw himself to his phone and declined the call before thinking twice. 

_ ‘It might be important though,’  _ his mind said to itself. Harry considered this, and checked the caller ID. it was Gemma.  _ ‘Uh, she can wait. I’ll call her back later.’  _ He thought this was a good plan, since it meant that he could get a few more minutes. After all, if it was important she would call back. 

It was the third time that his phone woke him up that Harry was done trying to sleep. It was only four thirty in the morning, but he knew that after being woken three times, there was no way he’d get back to sleep again. So he just groaned to himself, and pushed himself up, only to hear the sound of his phone vibrating. 

“Oh my god,” he rasped to himself, annoyed, his voice raspy with a morning croak as he reached across the bed for his phone on the bedside table. “What is it? Hasn’t anyone ever heard of sleeping?”

He reached over for his phone, before tapping it on. He winced as the bright light filled his dark room. He needed to blink a few times and squint at the screen to actually see it. But his eyes adjusted after a moment or two. 

It was a message from Ed Sheeran. Well, that kind of got Harry’s attention. He and Ed used to be good friends back when he was in the band. He had been a huge supporter of Harry and Louis’ relationship, and had even written songs about them. Back then it had been a great blessing when people supported the relationship, and didn’t buy into the beards they were forced on having. Plus, he had always been a great guy to hang out with and was a lot of fun, so that was another reason why Harry liked him so much. 

But after the band split, he lost contact with Ed. Sure, they talked about music and Harry got his opinion on his album before releasing it, but nothing other than work. Part of that reason was because the less people that knew about the twins, the better. Another was that he didn’t know if Ed was still in contact with Louis or not. 

But, alas, they drifted apart and Harry hated it. So getting a notification from the man at four thirty in the morning really was something that caught him off guard. 

His first thought was that it was because Ed had new music to show him. Or if he wanted to hear Harry’s album ideas. But then again, he wasn’t in the middle of writing an album (solo, that is) and he didn’t think Ed was either. So he was confused. That was until he opened the message. 

From: Ed Sheeran

Hey Haz! Just heard the news about One Direction getting back together! Super pumped for you guys and wishing you the best of luck. 

Harry nearly did a double take of that. He suddenly felt a whole lot less tired. His first thought was ‘what the hell who leaked the news about the band’ and then it was ‘was it Louis? Are they still friends’ and then it was ‘did I tell him?’ It took him a whole minute of panic before remembering that today was the release day. 

But then once he remembered, it seemed like the messages started rolling in even more. The next one was from the boys. 

From: Lima Bean 

Harry. You forgot to post the release info on your instagram!!!

From: DJ Malik

haz, post the message syco gave is to your story

From: Irish Princess <3

HAROLD YOU FORGOT AGAIN DIDN’T YOU?

From: Lou

Hey, you didn’t post the thingy Syco gave us. Might want to do that when you wake up if you don’t want Simon eating us alive :/

Harry felt his heart skip a beat. “No, no, no, no,” he chanted quietly to himself, opening his phone faster than he had ever done before. He was mentally slapping himself as he quickly turned on instagram, looking for the message management wanted them all to post that day. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

He had just found the picture and was about to post it when a call came in through his phone. He looked at the caller ID, about to hang up, when he saw that it was Niall. He answered without a second thought. “Hey.”

“You forgot, didn’t you?” Niall deadpanned, the first thing he said. He sounded annoyed for some reason, his voice flat. It started Harry a little, not expecting his friend to sound so bothered. Even in the morning, he was usually a bundle of happiness. 

Harry grimaced. “I did,” he replied, cringing a little as he said it. “I forgot that we were doing it today.”

He heard his friend sigh from the other end of the phone. “Of course you did,” he said, and Harry could practically hear him rolling his eyes. “Let me guess, you forgot because you were still sleeping, right?”

The curly haired singer frowned at that. “Well, um, yeah…” he said slowly, taken aback a little by the cool tone coming off of the Irish man. “I did sleep through it, but that was only because the twins were up until really late watching a Halloween movie…”

“You missed posting something because they were watching a movie?” Niall asked, but it didn’t really sound like a question. It sounded more like a judgemental statement, and it caught Harry a little off guard. He didn’t like this. 

“No, because they got scared by the movie and didn’t want to sleep tonight. I was up really late with them because they were convinced that there was a monster under their beds,” he argued. “I didn’t mean to miss the deadline.”

“Why did you let them watch a scary movie then? It’s barely October now anyway. Besides, they’re only five which seems young to watch a scary movie,” the blond stated. 

Harry’s face hardened. “I obviously didn’t know they were watching that,” he snapped back, his own voice changing to be colder as well. “And I don’t let them watch scary movies because they are too young. Clearly I didn’t want to miss the time to post on my instagram.”

“And yet you still did,” Niall commented with a sigh. He sounded like he was shaking his head. It made the hairs on the back of Harry’s neck bristle. 

“I was actually about to post it now before you called me,” he answered tightly. ‘ _ Tpwk, tpwk, tpwk, tpwk,’  _ he chanted mentally, his eyes planted firmly on his Treat People With Kindness sweater that was hanging off of his closet handle. “So I’m going to go do that. Goodbye, Niall.”

“See ya,” Niall said. There was a small click as he hung up. 

So yeah, there was that. He and Niall still weren’t entirely… close like they were before. Harry didn’t exactly know why, though. Niall had still been cancelling on Harry a lot to hang out with his girlfriend (who Harry STILL hadn’t met) and they hadn’t hung out in a while. Then Harry started being petty and cancelling on Niall as well to get back at him, but also because he just genuinely didn’t want to be around the blond man at the moment. Instead, he started hanging out with Liam a lot, which Niall didn’t seem too fond of. 

But whatever it was, it had put a wall between them. And at this point, Harry didn’t even know if he wanted to be around the man anymore. He’d much rather be around Liam. Or Zayn. Or Louis. Literally anyone. Except of James, of course. 

But still the fact remained that the two of them were not what they used to be at the moment. Things were tense between them. And Harry didn’t like it one bit. 

He huffed out a long exhale, flopping back onto his bed. “Stupid Niall,” he grumbled to himself, clicking the post button. He waited until the button finished loading the post onto his feed, before clicking off and tossing his phone across his bed. He was too tired to deal with it at the moment. 

Harry felt like his life had done a whole 360. Where he was just a few short months ago was so different from where he was now, and he didn’t know how he felt about the whole ordeal. He had yet to decide if this was the best or worst thing that had happened to him yet. 

At the start, he had been so anxious about the whole thing. He had known for a fact that it was a mistake and that he shouldn’t have gone through with it and that this was going to ruin his life forever. Or… so he thought. But now he had no idea anymore. 

Well, he knew a few things. The whole situation was good for him to reconnect with the boys. He hadn’t even known that he wanted to get close with them again after the hiatus, but now that he had, he was glad that he did. It felt great to reconnect with them- all of them. He hadn’t seen any of them other than Niall since they split, and he was glad that they were finally seeing each other again. 

Harry had never realized how much he and Liam had in common. Probably because he had always been so caught up with Niall and Louis, but he felt like he and Liam never really got much time just the two of them to hang out. But now that they were, he couldn’t believe that they didn’t do it so much more before. Maybe it was because their kids were best friends, but he found that Liam was now one of his favourite people to be around. Liam was actually probably his favourite friend at the moment. He was just so nice and fun, and definitely protective over Harry, which was a role that used to be filled by Louis. 

Speaking of Louis, that was another problem of Harry’s. Yes, he had acknowledged that it was a problem. Despite having said that it was the last time every single time, he and Louis still snuck off to make-out in secret on a regular basis. And Harry knew it was a problem- he wasn’t in denial. He knew that he shouldn’t be sneaking around to kiss his ex-boyfriend and that they were reconnecting in the wrong way and that it was just a matter of time before things got out of hand. 

But he couldn’t stop. Louis was just so addicting to him- he just couldn’t get enough. Every time he saw Louis, all he could think about was how good he felt to be close to. How good his lips felt against Harry’s. It made him feel good and alive and free. And Harry knew it was a problem, but he also knew that he didn’t want it to end. 

So they didn’t stop. And it had now been two months since the twin’s birthday, which meant that this had been going on for three months. Longer than Harry would like to admit. The thought made his stomach flutter, in either a good or bad way. Either worked. 

Harry sighed, pushing himself off of his bed. Everything was so confusing in his life right now, and it was hard to think about. Besides, had better things to do than try to make sense of his life. Like making his kids breakfast and then celebrating with his friends at a bar.

***

“HARRY!” Screamed a few voices as Harry walked into the bar. He smiled , blinking a few times. He hadn’t expected so many people to show up to the celebration at the bar they rented. But really, it was a One Direction reunion, of course it would be packed. 

The bar was packed with people they invited. Right off the bat, he spotted Lizzo, Ed Sheeran, Liam, Gigi and Bella Hadid, and Ashton Irwin. Then there was everyone else who was gathered in the bar, and Harry could pick out several different faces he recognized. The lights were going crazy and the music was pumping. It was great. 

“Hey guys,” Harry said happily as he passed his coat to the coat-check and walked over to them. 

Ashton was the first one to pull him into a hug. “Hey man,” he said cheerfully on the back. “It’s been a while. But to be honest, my tumblr 1D fanpage predicted this a while ago.” He joked with a little wink. Harry just rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah. We all know that you’re not actually joking about the fanpage, Ashie,” the twenty four year old replied cheekily. “I bet your inner teenaged fan-boy is going crazy.”

“My outer fan-boy is going just as crazy, Harry-kins,” the older man shot back, pinching Harry in the side, causing the younger to yelp and jolt at the touch. It only made Ashton smirk even more. “Besides, I’m not a teenager anymore. Look, I have a beard.”

Harry giggled. “We already knew you have a beard!” He said, smirking as well. “What’s her name again? Kaitlin?”

Ashton groaned, face-palming as Harry giggled at his own joke. “Oh my god, Harry. I just walked into that one,” he said, rolling his eyes while Harry just smiled. “And like I have to tell everyone, she’s not a beard. She’s my real girlfriend this time.”

The curly haired singer raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?” He asked, sounding unconvinced. “How’s Luke?”

“Don’t ask me,” Ashton answered heavily, running a hand through his bright red hair. He looked stressed and annoyed. “Haven’t talked to him in forever. He’s good, I guess. I don’t really know but it seems like he is.”

Harry frowned. “You two are in a band together. How don’t you talk to him?”

“You’d be surprised,” Ashton admitted, unhappily. “But we broke up. We’re done for good this time, I think.” He sounded actually sad about it. Usually whenever Ashton and Luke broke up, it wasn’t for long and they usually ended up hooking up and getting back together within a few weeks. But usually they weren’t sad, just angry at one another. This was different. It made Harry think that maybe this time they were serious about the breakup. 

“I’m sorry, Ashton,” he said softly, putting his hand on the other’s arm. Ashton just shrugged it off. 

“It’s whatever. I have Kaitlin now,” he answered back, trying to sound indifferent. But Harry saw right through it. But before he could say anything, Ashton was changing the subject. “But nevermind about that. This is your party! One Direction is back! This is a celebration! Time to be happy and get drunk!”

He seemed really trying to change the subject, so Harry let it slide. “Yeah, it’s exciting,” he responded, smiling despite himself. 

Ashton smiled. “I bet. I’m excited and I’m not even in the band,” he said happily, clapping the other man on the back one last time. “Anyways, it’s been great catching up. I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“We’ll have to get together sometime,” the younger suggested. To be honest, he kind of missed Ashton when they were on hiatus. He had lost contact with all his musician friends when he first had the twins, and it felt great to reconnect with them. Plus, he wanted more details on Ashton and Luke’s breakup and maybe even try to help them get past it. 

Ashton smiled. “For sure. Listen, I won’t keep you for any longer. You and the boys are the talk of the party. Everyone wants to see you. I bet they’re all jealous that I’ve kept you to myself as long as I have.”

Harry let out a bark of laughter. “I bet,” he joked. “Anyways, see you later, Ashie!”

After seeing Ashton, Harry headed off in another direction to find someone else to talk to and maybe get a drink. He could tell that it was going to be a fun and long night, and he felt like getting a little tipsy would just make it better. So he changed his course over towards the bar in search of a drink. 

Harry pushed past several people, all of whom stopped to congratulate him as he went by. Some he didn’t know at all, but talked to anyway. Some he recognized, like Haley and Justin Beiber, and he only talked to them for a little while. And then he ran into his friends, like Ed Sheeran who he was super pumped to see. 

By the time he got to the bar, he was in desperate need of a drink. He pushed his way over to the bar, before leaning onto it, already tired. “Excuse me?” he called over to the bartender. “Could I get, like, a tequila or something?”

“Tequila already?” A voice said from behind him sounding close compared to the muffled sound of the bar, startling Harry. “Getting a little adventurous, aren’t we Styles? Don’t you make me have to carry you out of here drunk tonight.”

Harry spun around, a smile on his face. He came face-to-face with Louis, who was standing just an inch behind him with a coy smirk on his face. He looked great tonight, dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a form fitting t-shirt. It was all Harry could do not to stare. “Hardly,” he answered back. “I’m not getting drunk tonight. Not yet anyway. Have to talk to too many people and I do not want to embarrass myself that badly.”

Louis hummed. “Well, you won’t have to worry then. I don’t think you’ll have any problems embarrassing yourself, drunk or not,” he teased, his eyes twinkling. “Just be yourself and you won’t have any trouble doing that.”

Harry hit him lightly on the chest, turning around again to face the bar. “You’re an ass,” he said, trying to hide the smile that was tugging at his lips. 

“An honest ass,” Louis added unhelpfully, moving so that he was next to Harry, also facing the bar. “Hey, can I get a beer?” He called to the bartender. 

“A beer, classy Tomlinson,” Harry commented, raising his eyebrows. “It’s not like you’re a multi-millionaire who can afford whatever alcohol you want and this is a major event or anything. More of a college frat party anyway.”

“Now you’re the ass,” Louis shot back. 

Harry smirked. “An honest one,” he repeated, giggling to himself. 

Louis just rolled his eyes as a smile creeped onto his face. “Wow, stealing my jokes now, are ya?” he said, trying to sound annoyed. “You’re such a comedian, Haz. Have to say, I’m not very impressed.”

“Sorry, but I can’t help it,” the curly haired singer said happily, his eyes flicking over to the older man. “You’re just so funny.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know,” Louis said back, but Harry could tell that he was flattered. He always was whenever Harry would compliment his humour. “And for your information, a beer is just as classy as a tequila. Besides, you’re going to be drunker than me and then we’ll see who the classy one is, babe.”

Harry smiled, his heart fluttering at the nickname that Louis didn’t even seem to realize he used. “Mhm, whatever you say, Tomlinson,” he said coyly. The bartender then walked over, passing the tequila over to Harry, who took it gratefully. “Now I’m going to go talk to people.”

“Bet they won’t be as fun to talk to as me,” the older said, watching as the other pushed himself off of the counter. 

Harry smiled. “Probably not,” he responded, turning around to walk away. “But I have to do it. As hard as it will be.”

“Okay then. I’ll be here,” Louis responded, waving a little as Harry walked away. 

***

“Harry Styles!” James Corden shouted, grabbing onto Harry’s hand and yanking him over. Before Harry even knew what was happening, he was being pulled into a tight hug. The breath left his lungs as he was lifted off of the ground by his friend. 

“Oof!” Harry gasped as James Corden yanked him into a bone-crushing hug. “Hey there James. Missed you too,” he gasped for breath, the bigger man squeezing the air right out of his lungs and making it hard to breathe. 

Zayn, who had been standing there talking to Nick as well, watched them with a raised eyebrow. “Let him breathe, Corden. We can’t kill him right before the tour,” he commented with an amused smile, watching the exchange. “But no promises about after.”

“Oh right,” James said, finally putting Harry back down and letting go. He looked a little sheepish. “Sorry about that, Harry. I guess I forgot how buffed-up I’ve been getting recently.”

Harry let out a breathless laugh. “I can tell. Have you been hitting the gym or something, because I feel like my soul just left my body after that hug!” He said it jokingly, but it was true. He rubbed his stomach from where he had been grabbed subconsciously. 

“Uhh… we’ll go with yes. Yes, Harry. I have been going to the gym,” he said confidently. But then he winked at the end, causing both of them to laugh. “Actually, no. Do I look like I have time for that? It’s probably just you’re getting lighter. But if my wife asks, we’ll just go with the gym.”

Both of the men let out laughs. “Yeah, okay James,” Zayn answered jovillaly, taking a sip out of his cup of alcohol. “I think you might be just a little drunk.”

“Just a little,” James agreed, holding his own cup in his hands and taking a sip of it. “But why not!? This is a ce-le-bra-tion! One Direction is backkkkkkkk! It’s time to get drunk and celebrate! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this day to come!? Way too long! So of course I’m getting drunk- everyone should!”

“Cheers to that,” Harry said, taking a sip of his tequila and wincing as it burned down his throat. 

“Do you know how big of a deal this is? The fans are going wild!” James exclaimed, pulling out his phone. Harry was a little confused as to what he was doing, until the phone was shoved towards him and Zayn. he frowned in confusion, until he looked down at the phone. His eyes widened. 

James had gotten over a million notifications on his show alone asking if it was true and if One Direction was going to be on his show. Things like:  _ One Direction is back???, JAMES PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID THIS, Istg if this is fake…, ONE DIRECTION CARPOOL KARAOKE TWO please,  _ etc. They went on and on, up to more than one million of them. 

“Oh wow,” Zayn said, his eyes widening. “And that’s only on your show?”

“Only my show. And these are just the ones that I’ve gotten in the past hour! There are tons more than we have back at the set. It’s insane,” James said, nodding with wide eyes. “Literally. People are going crazy.”

Harry let out a low whistle. “That’s insane.”

“What’s insane?” Liam’s voice asked from behind them. He walked forward until he was looking at the phone as well. It took him a second, but eventually he understood. His eyes widened almost comically. “Oh my god! All that in only an hour!?”

James nodded enthusiastically. “One hour!” 

“All what in one hour?” Niall asked, popping up next to Liam. Louis showed up next to him as well, looking at them in confusion. Wordlessly, Liam passed them the phone. And, just like the other three had done just a moment before, Niall and Louis’ eyes widened in shock. 

“Oh my god,” Louis breathed, looking shocked. He just seemed completely taken aback by it, a completely blank expression on his face. “And that’s only in one hour? And your show only? And it’s not even all of it?”

James just nodded his head. “Directioners are crazy,” he said simply. 

“This calls for a toast!” Niall exclaimed suddenly, a bright smile breaking onto his face. “I’ll be right back!”

Before anyone could say anything, Niall was leaving the group and walking through the crowd and going towards the DJ booth. The boys all frowned in confusion as he left. “Well… that was weird,” Liam said, watching the blond man leave. “I wonder where he’s going.”

“Oh well. He said he’s coming back,” Zayn shrugged. “But I just can’t stop thinking about this. This is just… this is just insane. Kinda makes you wonder what’s going to happen when we actually start touring again. It’s going to be madness.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah,” he admitted, holding his drink closer. “It’s going to be weird. I don’t even know how it’s going to work out with the kids.”

Zayn nodded. “It’s going to be different, but probably not too bad. Christle will probably come for a lot of it, but she will probably also spend a lot of time with Gigi too when she’s not on tour.”

“Same with Bear. I don’t know how he’d be able to handle being on tour full-time, honestly,” Liam agreed, taking a sip of his drink. “I think it would get tiring quickly. He’ll probably be on the road for half of it, and the rest he and Ollie can live at home for and just drop in. Because really, I’m going to need a break.”

“Freddie is with Briana most of the time,” Louis admitted, slightly bitterly. “So I guess he’ll be there for some of it. But I doubt Briana would let him actually go touring with us. Bitch.”

Harry looked down at his tequila. “Well, hope you guys like Allie and Robbie, because they’re gonna have to be there for the whole thing,” he commented dryly. He loved his kids, he did. But hearing that his friends got a break really did make him envious for a second. Just a second, and then he felt extremely guilty after. He took a sip to wash it away. 

But before anyone could say anything, Niall was back. “Hey lads,” he said, popping up into the circle again. He held out five champagne glasses. “Look what I’ve got. Here, each take one. The DJ’s bouta make an announcement.”

They had all just taken hold of their glasses each when some loud, fake sirens started coming from the DJ booth. “Hey everyone! Is everyone having a great time?!” Cheers came from the crowd. “Well that’s great! Now, I think you all know why we’re here, but just in case you don’t… One Direction is back!”

“WOO HOO!” Niall screamed, his champagne sloshing in the glass as he threw his arms in the air. The rest of the crowd screamed just as loud as the Irish man. 

Some more radio sounds came from the booth. “I know! It’s amazing!” The DJ exclaimed. “Congrats to the boys! This ones for you!” It was followed by the intro to What Makes You Beautiful coming on. The crowd went crazy again, dancing and singing to the song. 

“Woo hoo!” Liam exclaimed, holding up his champagne glasses. “To us! For being back together!”

“To us!” the other four replied, their glasses clinking together. 

And as Harry sipped his drink, he felt, for maybe the first time since that fateful meeting, that this really was a great idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go read Worth Fighting For by Bumble_Bee_Be for clear skin ✨


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE GOLDEN MUSIC VIDEO IS AMAZINGGGGG
> 
> I have watched it about a gazillion times already and I’m so in love. The outfits. The hair. The song. The cuts. The cuteness. Ugh. I love it all. If you haven’t see it yet, go watch it. You will not regret it. Literal perfection. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to the golden music video.

To say that the fans had gone crazy was an understatement. They had all suddenly blown up every social media platform to exist in the first three hours since the announcement, and had barely stopped trending since. One Direction reunion was literally trending everywhere and it was amazing. Harry didn’t think he could ever get tired of seeing all the comments on his phone. 

At the moment, the boys were all at Louis’ place. They were all chilling in his living room, reading the comments. The kids were also all there, playing together in Freddie’s room. They had all become fast friends together and genuinely liked playing together, and it was the sweetest thing ever to see. 

It also gave Harry the chance to hang out with the boys, which he hadn’t known he missed so much. It was just so much fun to just be friends and hang out together like old times. Especially now since things had blown over between Harry, Zayn and Louis. They were all back to normal again and it was great. 

“Look at this one,” Zayn said from where he was leaning against the loveseat with Niall. “It says, ‘I have been waiting for five years for this day to come. One Direction saved my life when I was a teen and going through depression, and this news makes me want to cry. Love these boys #onedirectionreunion.’” 

“Awe, that’s so sweet,” Liam said, smiling a little. “I have a few of those on my feed too. They’re the real ones.”

“They’re  _ all  _ the real ones,” Harry insisted from where he was lying on the couch, his head resting in Liam’s lap while his legs were sprawled over Louis. “No gate-keeping fans, Liam. They’re all the real fans.”

Niall rolled his eyes. “That’s not even what he was saying,” he muttered in Harry’s direction. Harry frowned at that, but ignored it. He knew that Niall was trying to get a rise out of him, and he wasn’t going to let it happen. 

Harry frowned. His skin itched with something he didn’t usually feel towards the blond man. Anger. Annoyance. And something else he couldn’t place. He didn’t like it one bit. Harry opened his mouth to respond, but someone else beat him to it. 

“Pretty sure it was a joke, Ni,” Louis commented, and his tone sounded light and airy, as if trying to ease the tension. But Harry could tell that Louis was actually staring at Niall, his eyes cool and challenging. 

Niall didn’t seem to notice however, and just scoffed a little. “I knew that,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You guys are all really uptight. God.”

He said it with such a tone that it was impossible to ignore. Before it could have been passed off as a mishearing of his attitude, but now the bite in his voice was clear to hear to all of them. It made Liam frown. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” he commented with a raised eyebrow, looking at Niall. 

But the blond man just shrugged it off. “Whatever,” he said, unbothered. “You guys are so serious today.”

Harry frowned, burrowing closer to Liam subconsciously. He wasn’t used to Niall being this angry with him and he definitely didn’t like it. But he decided not to say anything in response though. If there was one thing Harry knew about an angry Niall, it was to not anger him anymore. And he knew that if he opened his mouth and talked back to the other man, it would only make everything worse than it already was, so he just didn’t say anything, which was probably for the best. 

Zayn was the first to clear his throat, his eyes still stating warily at the Irish man. “Okay…” he said slowly, a small frown tugging his lips downwards. “Um, anyways… we have a tour coming up.”

“Two months,” Liam piped up without missing a beat. “I have a countdown on my phone for when the tour starts.”

Louis let out a low whistle. “Two months,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s crazy. How are we all going to be going on tour together in just two months? After five years by ourselves.”

“It’s insane,” Harry said softly, his fingers playing with a loose thread on his sweater. “It’s hard to believe that it’s already been four months since we got the band back together. It feels like it all happened yesterday.”

“It feels like we were just on tour together yesterday,” Liam said wistfully, his eyes half glazed over in thought. “It feels like we were just boys performing our first solo on the X-Factor, and now look at us. We all had our solo careers already and now we’re back together, right where we started.”

Zayn hummed. “Right where we started,” he repeated slowly. “Not quite. Everything is different.”

And everything was different. Most of them had kids. Zayn and Liam were in serious relationships. Niall had a new girlfriend. And Louis and Harry weren’t the dream team anymore. There was something bittersweet about it as well. Like it had all changed, but it felt kind of good.

“Oh, remember when we first started and filmed the What Makes You Beautiful video?” Louis spoke up suddenly, his eyes brightening. “We were so excited because that was when it started to feel real, remember?”

“To be honest, it still doesn’t feel real,” Liam answered with a small chuckle. “But I know what you mean. It was like our big break when we were suddenly an actual band making actual music with a music video. God, it feels like it was just yesterday but it’s been ten years. Crazy.”

“That was so fun,” Harry said softly, wrapping his arms around himself. Actually, it had been more than fun. It had been more than a year since Harry and Louis had met, and a while since they started dating. 

And that music video had not only been a fun time in general, but it was a turning point for the two of them. That night they had snuck back onto the beach and had the best night ever. They went in the water, giggling softly and splashing one another. Then they had done some stargazing on the beach. And then finally, they had had sex for the first time ever. And even though the sand had burned and itched Harry for days after, it had still been the most perfect first time he could ask for. 

And by the way Louis’ eyes darted over to him, he could tell he was remembering the same thing. 

“But remember the Best Song Ever video?” Niall said. “That was my favourite of them all.”

Zayn let out a laugh. “Me too!” He said, happily. “I was Veronica. That was great. Can’t wait for Christle to see that someday and make fun of me for life.”

“Please invite me over when that happens!” Niall said loudly, barking out a laugh as well that seemed to bounce off the walls. “That’s going to be hilarious!”

“I wonder if we’re going to be doing more music videos with the reunion,” Liam commented, tapping his chin. “That could be fun. I haven’t done a music video in literally forever, and I kinda miss it. And I feel like if the kids could be in it, that could be fun too.”

“Freddie would love that,” Louis commented with a smile. “He’d think he was in a movie or something and then would go to school and tell everyone that he’s an actor now.”

Harry smiled. “That sounds sweet,” he added on. “We should pitch that after the tour. I love doing music videos.”

Zayn nodded. “You do them a lot for your singles too,” he said. “Sign Of The Times, Kiwi, Watermelon Sugar, Falling, Adore You, Lights Up and Golden, right?”

“Damn Z, you memorized them?” Louis said, sounding impressed. “But still, seven music videos is a lot in only three years. I feel like everyone else only did, like, in between zero and four. That’s a lot, Hazza.”

Harry just shrugged. “They’re fun,” he said simply. 

Liam sighed. “I miss doing the music videos with you guys,” he said softly. “It was really so much fun. It feels like yesterday we were running around filming Live While We’re Young. That was so long ago now…”

“We grew up,” Harry commented, smiling softly. “When we started we were just kids. I couldn’t even drive when we first formed the band. We got older and everything changed.”

“I’m glad everything changed,” Liam spoke up, also smiling now with a faraway look in his eyes. “I’m glad we grew up. If I hadn’t changed, I wouldn’t have had Bear or Ollie. I’d still be running around, shaving my head just because someone told me not to. I’d still be super uptight and wouldn’t want to do anything interesting. I wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t grown up.”

Louis nodded, looking down at his hands. “Me too,” he said gently. “I would never have even thought about releasing a solo album if I hadn’t grown up. I wouldn’t have ever toured. I don’t think I would have had a solo career if I had been as insecure as I had been when we first started the band.”

“Ew, I’d still be wearing those low-waisted jeans and beanies everyday,” Harry said, wrinkling his nose. 

“Hey! I liked those beanies,” Louis pouted, poking Harry in the foot from where they were sprawled on his lip. Harry squeaked and pulled his feet back from the tickle. “Besides, it was a cute look.”

Harry rolled his eyes teasingly. “What about those bright red pants and striped shirts?” He taunted, raising an eyebrow. “That was a look.”

“You know it. I was a fashion icon,” Louis shot back without missing a beat. “Those pants were hot.” He then finished by leaning over and poking Harry in the foot again, causing the younger to let out a sharp laugh, before clapping a hand over his mouth. 

“Well,” Niall said dryly, snapping Harry out of his happy trance. He was watching the exchange with a raised, unimpressed eyebrow. “I guess not all of us grew up.”

Harry’s jaw tightened at that. He slowly pulled his legs closer towards him and out of Louis’ reach, unconsciously. The mood seemed to drop. “What’s that supposed to mean, Niall?” He asked slowly, unsure if he heard right. But by the judging look on the blonde’s face, he was certain that he had. 

“You know what I mean,” Niall challenged back, his eyes narrowing. “ _ Hazza.”  _ He added on after a moment. Harry’s jaw tightened even more at that. But Niall just raised his eyebrow at him in response, not backing down. The mood in the room had officially been dropped, and tension was quickly creeping up. 

Harry swallowed thickly. “Niall,” he said slowly, his teeth clenched. “Can I talk to you over out in the kitchen for a second?”

Niall didn’t respond, but he rolled his eyebrows and pushed himself off of the couch. “Fine,” he said. He stood up and walked out of the room, over towards the kitchen. Everyone else was completely silent, their eyes tracking his movements as Harry did the same. 

Harry followed the other into the kitchen, doing his best to remain composed when really there was a bubble of anger and embarrassment starting to flare up in his chest. But he stayed as neutral as he could as he walked steadily into the room as well. Getting angry and losing his cool now would not do him any good. 

The pair of them walked into the kitchen, when Niall turned around on his heel to face Harry, arms crossed over his chest. He had an ‘I’m waiting’ expression on his face, which only made the bubble of anger in Harry’s chest grow bigger. 

But instead of yelling, he just narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing?” He hissed in anger, keeping his voice low knowing full well that this house echoed. “What were you implying in there?”

“Oh  _ please,  _ Harry,” Niall scoffed, rolling his eyes. He actually  _ scoffed,  _ sounding both angry and annoyed for some reason. “Don’t even pretend you don’t know.”

“Well,  _ clearly _ I don’t,” Harry shot back, narrowing his own eyes and crossing his own arms over his chest. “I clearly don’t know what you meant when you said that some of us didn’t grow up? How the hell haven’t I grown up in the past  _ ten years _ , Niall?”

Niall looked at him with a deadpan. “Come on. Don’t make me spell it out for you,” he said dryly, his lips tugging into a scowl. 

“Maybe you should, because I’m dying to know,” the twenty four year old snapped back, his glare seething as he narrowed his eyes at friend. Challengingly. Honestly, Harry didn’t know where the bravery was coming from, but he wasn’t willing to back down. 

But his tone only seemed to make Niall even more annoyed. “Are you kidding me?” He snapped, throwing his hands in the air. His voice bounced off the walls, echoing in the hall and making Harry certain that the other boys could hear them. “You and Louis!”

Harry’s jaw dropped. “What are you talking about!? Don’t say that so loudly!” He snapped, his eyes widening in shock. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You two have been all over each other ever since that party at the bar, and don’t even pretend that you haven’t!” The blonde man said, pointing an accusing finger right at Harry’s chest. 

This made Harry even more shocked. He was stunned. He was so caught off guard by this that for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. “We have not! I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he denied hastily, ignoring the way his voice shook at the end. 

“You can’t be serious. I’ve seen it- we’ve all seen it. I don’;t know what’s been going on with you two, but you’ve gotten close and not in just a friendly way,” the other snapped back. “I’m not blind, Harry. This isn’t normal.”

Harry’s face burned red, but not from embarrassment, but from anger. “We’re trying to move past it, Niall! That’s all we’re doing!” He shouted back, not even caring if the other boys could hear them at this point. Screw it, they’d find out anyway. 

“Oh no, that’s not it!” Niall said, barking out a humorless laugh. “You have been all over each other. He was tickling you just a second ago and calling you beanies cute!”

“He’s being friendly! Because we’re friends now!”

“You don’t just become friends with your ex-boyfriend like that!”

“Well clearly I do!”

“Stop lying to yourself, Harry. Something is going on between you two and everyone knows it. We have all seen how you two are together. You’re giggly and happy and shit,” Niall scoffed, rolling his eyes. And… did Harry see a flicker of jealousy under his eyes. The thought made him want to laugh and not in a good way. 

“And how dare I be happy with someone? Is that what you mean?” Harry demanded, his eyes flashing. “You haven’t been helping me with that lately, have you?”

Niall’s eyes narrowed into slits with so much anger that it was scary for the usual bubbly man. “Don’t make this about me,” he hissed. 

“But it is about you!” Harry shouted, his voice banging off the walls. He was certain he kids could hear him at this point, but he didn’t care. “Why should how I act with Louis make you concerned?! You haven’t been nearly as concerned with me lately so why start now?! Why start now that my life isn’t one big, dramatic reality tv show with a new juicy problem each episode!”

“You’re kidding, right?!” Niall shouted back, equally as loud. They were having a yelling match at this point. “I have never been anything but supportive with you! I’ve been there for everything so don’t you dare make this about me! As far as I’m concerned, you should be grateful that I’ve stuck around for all this shit!”

  
“Grateful!?” Harry very nearly screamed, his jaw falling open again. “Are you kidding me!? I should be grateful that someone has cared about me!? Is that how this works?! You’ve been my friend and I’m somehow in your debt!?”

He didn’t even notice that he was crying until his voice cracked at the end and he felt a tear drop roll onto his hand. But once he realized it, he knew that he was crying a lot. The tears were now dripping down his face in a steady stream. 

Niall didn’t seem to notice, though. “That isn’t what I meant-”   
  


“But it’s what you said! And no, I’m not grateful, and you want to know why? Because I’ve been trying to hang out with you since forever and you never do! You don’t answer my calls and my texts and I’m supposed to be  _ grateful _ for that?” Harry screamed back, closing his eyes and feeling a fresh flow of tears fall down his cheeks. 

Niall let out a growl. “Oh, so I’m now supposed to feel bad because I have plans now? Because I have a girlfriend that I want to hang out with?” 

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with your girlfriend, but I haven’t even met her! You always cancel on me and I don’t even know who you’re with anymore! We haven’t seen each other in forever and look what’s happening!?” 

“Well sorry that I can’t  _ babysit  _ you all the time!” Niall snapped back. Harry froze at that. The words sinking in for a moment. He was in shock, he knew that. But he still wanted to yell and scream and cry. And he couldn’t stop himself from doing just that. 

“Babysit me!?” He cried, his voice cracking. “What the hell, Niall! I didn’t think us hanging out and being actual friends was just you babysitting me! I thought you actually  _ liked  _ hanging out with me! Not just some chore you needed to do to make yourself feel better!”

“Well what was I supposed to do!? Leave you alone with the twins, crying alone every night? Was I just supposed to leave you home alone when you were having a panic attack? Or crying over the latest Louis and Eleanor article!?” He yelled back, which only made the tears fall faster. “I’m sorry I can’t give you my entire life anymore, Harry, but I have a girlfriend now and you’re not the most important thing in my life”

“I thought you did it because you cared!”

“I did-  _ I do _ ! But I’m not waiting on you hand and foot anymore, Harry. So sorry if I’ve cancelled on you a few times. Sorry if I can’t always come to the phone whenever you call. But I have a life too!” The older yelled back. 

Harry sniffed. “So you’re mad at me for being friendly with Louis, but you’re allowed to ignore me for weeks for your new fling that nobody knows anything about!?”

Niall growled again, this time sounding more animalistic than human. “Amelia is not a FLING!” He roared. “And Louis is different. Do NOT compare them! She is my girlfriend and Louis is your ex! Louis broke up with you and hurt you!”

“You hurt me too. You’re doing it right now,” Harry cried pitifully, feeling a few more tears drip down his face. But Niall still either didn’t notice or just didn’t care. 

“Oh come on Harry,” he said softly, sounding angry. “If you were wondering what I meant when I said you hadn’t grown up, this is it. You’re still the nineteen year old who can’t handle the truth.”

And with that, he turned and brushed right past Harry, walking out of the kitchen and heading out of the front door, leaving Harry alone in the kitchen, crying, alone, and more heartbroken than he had been in a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a lil shorter than last time, but I hope you liked it anyways!! 
> 
> And wanna hear something crazy... there’s only eight chapters left to write on this story 😳


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Talia, forever and always. Love you babe. Now to go sleep.

Harry hadn’t been the same for the past two weeks. Despite the good news of the band getting back together and the uproar of their fans, it still wasn’t enough. He had spent the past two weeks moping ever since his blow-up fight with Niall. Not even the tweets he had been getting could make him feel better (and they almost always did.)

He didn’t know what to do anymore. Even though he and Niall hadn’t even spent much time together before the fight, it still felt like there was a piece of him missing. If the twins asked for a treat, all he could think of was Niall giving them candy behind his back. Whenever he was watching Grey’s Anatomy, all he could think about was watching it with Niall and wondering if he and Amelia were watching it together. Even when he would go to the washroom, he would think of all the times Niall crapped in his toilet. It was funny, but it made him cry nonetheless. 

It was now nearing the start of October and it seemed like Harry’s life had been put on pause. He was pretty isolated. Other than the twins, he was barely seeing anyone. It was like everyday was the same. Get up, do stuff, go to sleep. He was on a schedule of nothing. 

The boys had made an effort. Zayn had reached out and offered to go drinking or smoking, anything to get Harry to talk to him and maybe lighten the load. Liam had come over with home cooked cookies and casseroles, claiming that Harry was getting thinner again and needed support and food. And Louis had come over and basically said that he was there for anything, whether it be talking, hugging or kissing. 

His mum hadn’t heard anything yet about Niall, but she seemed to pick up on something strange and had offered to come up. Harry had shut her down, claiming that everything was fine and he didn’t need anything. But that didn’t stop her from calling everyday. 

Harry had just told them all the same thing. He needed time to think. 

Think about what exactly? He didn’t know. Maybe think about how his life was never peaceful. About how, whenever life was just starting to make sense to him, something new came out of nowhere and shoved him off his feet. Maybe that he was starting to feel like the universe was out to get him somehow. Or maybe just regretting ever becoming famous because the drama just wasn’t worth it.

He had started calling a therapist, Mr Bentley, to talk about things. It felt kind of nice to talk to someone and know that it won’t come back to slap him in the face. It felt nice to vent to someone. And even if it felt nice for a little while, Harry still wasn’t sure that it was doing anything. He didn’t see a difference, but whatever. 

Things with the twins had also changed. Harry didn’t know if it was because they were getting older (they were already five, after all) or if everything had just been so blatantly obvious that they had started to pick up on things. But whatever the reason, they had started to ask more and more questions about the boys, about Louis in particular. 

It started off with things like, “how come uncle Liam, Zayn, and Lou never come over” to things like “how come Freddie has the same name as us?” So far Harry had been able to ward off the questions, whether it just be a vague response or distracting them. But he knew that sooner or later they were going to start putting the pieces together, and it was only a matter of time. 

He should probably talk to his therapist about that as well. 

***

“Don’t leave, daddy. Please don’t leave,” Robbie yelled as he latched onto Harry’s leg. He smushed his face into Harry’s pant leg, clinging to the fabric as tightly as he could. Harry sighed, his hand already on the doorknob and ready to leave. 

  
“Robbie, I have to,” he said gently, as he tried his best not to sound annoyed at the small boy. “I have a meeting for work, remember? I need to go, Robbie. Please let go.” He bent down to try and unhook the boy’s arms from his pants, but Robbie wouldn't let go. 

“No, daddy! Don’t go!” He cried, hiccuping as he clung on tighter, his little nails starting to dig into Harry’s skin and causing him to wince a little. He made a mental note to clip them later. 

He sighed, much too tired to deal with this. He hadn’t slept last night and was exhausted, and Robbie was not helping. He was already running late for the meeting and needed to leave. Gemma had arrived half an hour ago to watch them, but still Robbie refused to leave Harry’s side. 

“Baby, please,” he practically begged the boy. “I need to go to the meeting. Aunty Gemma is going to be here with you and Allie, and you’re going to have so much fun, okay? Now let go of daddy’s leg please-”

“NO!” The five year old screamed, his voice bouncing off the walls and causing Harry to wince at the sound. “NO, NO, NO! Please don’t leave me, daddy! Please don’t leave! I wanna stay with you! Please, daddy!”

Gemma, obviously hearing the ruckus coming from the doorway, walked over to them. Harry met her eyes and looked at her pleadingly, practically begging her to do something. Thankfully, Gemma the angel walked over. “Robbie,” she said gently. “Come on, let daddy go. We’re going to have so much fun, okay?”

For a second, Harry thought it might just work. But then Robbie shook his head and clung even tighter. “No, daddy, no! Please don’t go!” He sobbed. Harry could feel the tears starting to seep through his pant leg, and felt his heart break a little. 

“We’re going to have so much fun, Robbie. Daddy is going to a boring meeting, but he’ll be back so soon you won’t even notice he left. So come on, why don’t we go over here and play with Allie-” Gemma tried again, this time trying to unfasten his arms from around Harry. 

“I don’t wanna leave daddy! Don’t make me leave daddy!” The small boy cried desperately. He sounded like he was being forced away from Harry forever, rather than just for a couple hours. And, even though he knew Robbie was being a little over dramatic, Harry felt his heart breaking nonetheless. 

Harry bit his lip as he looked at the little boy. Actually, he was tempted to just say ‘screw it’ and just bring the boy with him. He didn’t want to have to leave Robbie, who clearly didn’t want him to leave either. Harry was considering doing just that, but Gemma seemed to pick up on it and shot him a look. 

“Come here, Robbie,” Gemma instructed easily, walking over. Robbie cried out as Gemma unhooked his fingers from Harry and pulled him off, lifting him into her arms. Robbie immediately started crying and squirming. 

“No, daddy! I don’t want you to go!” He cried, his arms reaching out for his father. 

Harry bit his lip. “I’m sorry baby,” he answered back wincing as the five year old let out a cry at that. “But I have to go, okay? But I’ll be back so soon.”

Robbie looked like he was going to start crying again any second, but Gemma was quicker. “You gotta go,” his sister said, giving him a small push with her free hand towards the door. Harry stumbled a little, but didn’t quite leave. It was then that Robbie started crying again. “Harry, go,” Gemma insisted. 

That time Harry took a few steps out the door, casting a look back. Gemma was shooing him out while Robbie’s face started to turn redder with tears. Thankfully, Harry managed to stumbled out of the house before he started crying. He didn’t know how much longer he would have been able to hold it together if Robbie had started crying. Probably not long and would either have cancelled the meeting or taken the boy with him. He was weak like that. 

The twenty four year old stumbled out to his car numbly and climbed in. He didn’t feel like doing anything. And he certainly didn’t want to go to this meeting which would no doubt just drain him even more. 

He was just so tired. He needed sleep. He needed a break from work. He needed someone to come over and wrap him in a blanket and cuddle with him for a few days. It would normally be Niall doing that, but that was out of the option, obviously. He just needed a break, not to go to a meeting that would stress him out even more. 

Harry was just so exhausted. But, despite the fact that he probably shouldn’t, he found himself pulling out of his driveway and driving towards headquarters. 

***

“Late again, Styles?” James commented with a raised eyebrow as Harry walked in. “And I see you’re not even trying to put your last name to meaning. Comfortable at least?”

Harry didn’t even respond. He was too tired and too annoyed to answer. Plus, he honestly didn’t care if James thought his clothes looked bad. So what if he was wearing sweats, a hoodie and sneakers? They were comfy and he wanted them. He didn’t say anything as he wordlessly took the seat beside Liam. 

“Someone’s chatty,” the manager pressed challengenly, almost like he wanted Harry to reply. But he didn’t. He barely gave a sign that he had heard the other man. “Well, good. At least I know I won’t be interrupted today,” James said when Harry didn’t respond. 

Zayn narrowed his eyes. “Oh shut up,” he growled. 

James rolled his eyes in response, not really intimidated. It was kind of hard to be intimidated by Zayn once you knew him, because he was the sweetest person ever deep down. You only really got scared of the boys whenever they got SUPER angry. A raging Zayn was no joke. 

“Whatever, we have to move on anyways,” the manager answered. “Styles might not even make it through the meeting by the looks of it. Rough night?”

“Leave him alone,” Louis snapped, his eyes glaring at James. “You said you needed us here for a meeting. You’re the one wasting time now. So if you have something to tell us, spit it out.”

Louis was easily the most intimidating out of all of them. He just had a way of scaring people when he wanted to. Louis could go from soft and loving to angry and intimidating real quick. Which was probably why, instead of making another greasy comment, James just cleared his throat. 

“Right,” he said, picking up the papers that were in front of him. “As you know, the next few weeks will be spent getting ready for the tour. This means that we need to get all of our, ahem, arrangements in order before we can move ahead. 

Harry felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.  _ Contracts.  _ That’s what James was talking about. He was talking about getting them to sign more contracts. And usually, Harry and those contracts never meshed well together. He felt like he was going to puke. 

“More contracts?” Niall clarified from the other end of the table. He looked unimpressed. “Haven’t we signed all the contracts you need for the band?”

“We have all the legal contracts to have you working under us already. These are just so that everything can run more smoothly,” James said. But they all knew what it really meant, and it wasn’t at all what he was saying. 

Zayn let out a long exhale, probably trying his best to remain composed. “What are they?” He said after a moment. 

James smiled, reaching into his pile of papers. He handed one to Niall, two to Louis, one to Zayn, one to Liam and then two to Harry. 

Harry slowly reached over to his contracts, noting that there were two of them compared to Liam, Zayn and Niall only having one. Harry frowned at that, the knots in his stomach twisting around in nervousness as he picked up the papers and started reading.

For a few moments, everyone sat in silence as they read their own papers. Harry noted that Liam’s hands were shaking as he read, from either anger or fear, he didn’t know. But pretty soon, Harry also found his own hands shaking a little too as his stomach seemed to drop further down. 

After a few minutes, Liam put his paper down. “I’m not doing this,” he said stiffly. His body was rigid, and it made Harry wonder what was on his contract. Nothing good, obviously. 

James raised an eyebrow. “You have too,” he answered back smoothly. “It’s not that hard-”

“This is telling me to hide Ollie and say that Cheryl and I are still together,” Liam said, his jaw tightening. “You’re asking me to get a  _ beard.”  _ Harry felt his own body to stiff. 

“We are not asking you to get a beard, Payne,” James said, raising his eyebrows. “We aren’t asking you to tell the world you’re dating Cheryl. We are asking you to not tell the world about your,  _ ahem _ , partner. This contract is saying that you have to tell everyone that Cheryl is Bear’s mom. Not that you’re in a relationship.”

“But Cheryl isn’t Bear’s mom. Bear is  _ mine,”  _ Liam emphasized, and Harry could hear the emotion in his voice. Wordlessly, he put a hand on Liam’s knee. 

“We all have to do things we don’t want to for fame,” the manager said with a sickly smile. “Now sign the contract so we can move on.”

“I’m not signing either,” Zayn said. “I already signed enough NDA’s. I’m done. We don’t need another.”

“Me either,” Niall nodded, sliding the paper over towards James. 

Everyone seemed to look at Louis, who had yet to say anything. The contracts were sitting in front of him, untouched. He had a cold expression on his face and his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m not signing,” he said lowly. “I’m not having a beard.”

James’ smile dropped off his face. “Yes you are,” he said seriously, his eyes narrowing. “You need one and you know it.” 

“Because of me and Harry. Well, news flash, we broke up,” Louis said bitterly, glaring unblinkingly back at James. “And mine and El’s contract is almost over.”

“Which is why you’re signing again,” James answered back, leaning forward in his chair. “You are signing and then Harry is signing and then the rest of you are filling out your NDA’s. That’s how this is going down.”

“Except it’s not,” Louis snapped back. “Because I’m not signing and, by the looks of it, no one else is either.”

James rolled his eyes. “You always were the harder one to intimidate,” he muttered angrily, swivelling his chair over to look directly at Harry. He plastered a sickening smile on his face. “Harry,” he started, false sweetly. 

Harry swallowed thickly. “I’m not signing,” he said, his hands clenching into fists.

James didn’t seem deterred. “You know you have to, Harry. It's what's best for the band. You know that the fans won’t come if they think that there’s three gay members in the band. You don’t want to be the one to drag us all down by not signing, do you?”

“Screw the band!” Harry snapped, his eyes narrowing. James, as well as the other boys, looked over at him in surprise. “I’m not going to sign a contract telling me to pretend to not be gay and to deny having my children! I’m not signing this!” He threw the papers over to James, unsigned. 

Liam growled. “You’re sick,” he spat at the manager. 

“Mr Styles,” James said impatiently, straightening in his chair. “Sign the contracts.”

“I’m not going to,” Harry answered back, equally as loudly as he stood up. “I’m done here.” He then stomped out of the room, not turning back. 

*** 

Harry was gone a total of thirty seconds before Louis was chasing after him down the hall. “Harry!” He yelled as he chased after the other man. “Harry, wait!” 

Harry sighed as he turned around. They were alone in the small, empty hallway so it was easy to see Louis running after him. He leaned against the wall as he waited. 

“Hey,” Louis said as he caught up to him, placing a hand onto Harry’s arm. His blue eyes were looking gently into Harry’s green ones. “Are you okay?”

And that was all it took for Harry to jump forward into Louis’ arms, burying his face into his neck. “No,” he sniffled, wrapping his arms around Louis’ neck. “No. I hate it. I hate it all. It’s not fair.”

Louis didn’t hesitate before wrapping his own arms around Harry’s waist. “No, I know. It’s not fair,” he said softly, holding him close. “I hate it too. That’s why nobody signed. It’s not fair to any of us, especially you.”

“I don’t want them to tell us what we can and can’t be,” Harry said thickly. “I hate that they have that power over us.”

“They don’t. Not really. Signing or not signing a contract doesn’t change the way any of us feel. They can’t change that with a piece of paper,” Louis said gently into his ear. 

Harry nodded. “Louis,” he said, pulling away just enough to look into the other’s eyes. “Kiss me? Show me that they don’t have that power over us. Kiss me.”

So then they were kissing. It wasn’t one of their passionate kisses in the car, or the drunken kisses either. This one was slow and meaningful. Harry melted into it immediately, his mount falling pliant to Louis’. 

They were just getting into it, when…

“Oh. My. God.”

Louis and Harry jumped apart immediately, their heads snapping over to see none other than Zayn standing there, his mouth open and his eyes wide in shock. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we get to wait for the cliffhanger, mwahahahaha!!


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 40 chapters?!?! This is so insane. Thanks to everyone for reading. I just thought I’d post today in honour of Biden winning the election!!! Woo hoo!! 
> 
> And not to get political, if you support or agree with Trump in any way, please just leave this story. I don’t want to associate with anyone who thinks that being racist, sexist and homophobic is okay. Please and thank you. Tpwk
> 
> I don’t want to start anything by saying this, but if you don’t support basic human rights, my rights as a member of the lgbtq community, I just don’t want to be associated with that. I’m not meaning to hurt people by saying this, but it’s not okay to think that that is okay. And if you can’t see that trump is racist, homophobic and sexist, please try to do some research. 
> 
> As I’ve said before, this is my story and this is my platform to say my opinion and I’m not going to be bullied by people who think it’s okay to support this. I don’t want to start anything, but if you disagree with me, please try to talk in a respectful way or just leave.

“Daddy, why do we have to go with Bear to the playground today?” Allie asked that morning as she shuffled into the kitchen, where Harry was making lunch for them. 

“I thought you liked hanging out with Bear,” Harry hummed, furrowing his brows as he continued putting together the sandwiches for the kids. It was just their run of the mill kid’s sandwich, turkey, cheese and lettuce. On whole wheat gluten free bread, of course. 

Allie nodded, pushing herself up onto the kitchen stool. “We do,” she replied, shrugging a little. “But you’re not going. You’re gonna see uncle Liam and uncle Niall and uncle Zayn and Lou. So why do we have to leave when they’re here?”

They were getting smarter, it seemed. Must be because they were already five years old. “You’re not leaving because they’re coming over,” Harry answered back, continuing to make the sandwiches for them, not missing a beat. “I just thought that it would be more fun for you guys to go play at the playground for a little while instead of staying here with the grown-ups.”

Allie frowned. “It is more fun,” she said. “But we wanna see them too.”

“You’ll get to see them, love. Uncle Liam and Ollie are going to come over and you’ll get to see everyone then before you leave,” Harry explained to the little girl. “Now, go get your brother because lunch is ready now. You’re gonna have to eat before anyone shows up.”

So basically, it had been a normal day to start off with at Harry’s house. Just a normal Wednesday for them. He hadn’t even suspected for a second that something would go so wrong that day, and throw everything he had planned off track. 

The only part he had been nervous for that day was that the boys were all coming over. He was still a little nervous to be around them all, since in just a few short weeks, he had turned half of them against him in some way. Him and Niall weren’t on speaking terms anymore, and it had made things unbelievably tense between the two of them. Thankfully, the twins hadn’t picked up on it. The only part they seemed to notice was that their uncle Niall didn’t come around much anymore. But after he came today, Harry was just hoping that that would get rid of any suspicions. 

Then there was the case with Zayn, which was something he did NOT want to talk about. Pretty sure he didn’t ever want to talk about that ever. Just a little less than a week ago, Zayn had walked in on Harry and Louis kissing in the Syco hallway, and ever since then Harry had been avoiding him like the plague. 

It wasn’t like Zayn made an effort to get in contact with him either. Harry hadn’t heard from him. After he and Louis had booked it out of the building (not his proudest moment), he hadn’t seen or heard from Zayn. Not a phone call, a text or even a confrontation of some sort. 

The last time he saw Zayn, he was standing in the middle of the hallway, looking like he had just seen a ghost. 

And it wasn’t like Harry was running away from his problems. He was just… avoiding them for the time being. After all, there was no real rush to talking to Zayn. He would have been perfectly content to just ignore this ever happening and go on with his life. 

But really, when was Harry’s life ever that easy?

The running from this was going to end soon because the boys were all coming over to his house that day. And that included Zayn. Him, Louis and Zayn alone in his house with the other boys And how was Harry supposed to run from that? He was really regretting scheduling this. 

He had thought about backing out last minute. He probably would have too, since Niall wasn’t there to talk him into it. But then Liam had made plans for the twins and then it had been too late. And now they were all coming over and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Only a few moments later, the twins ran down the stairs together, their little feet thudding as they headed towards the kitchen. Only a few seconds later, they both ran into the kitchen 

“Lunch is ready?” Robbie asked, him and his sister heading straight towards the kitchen stools and hopping on top of them. Harry nodded, sliding the two plates across the table to them. 

“Yep, here you go,” he said to the two of them as he passed them their food. “Now eat up. Ollie and Bear are going to be here any minute.” Their eyes lit up and they started digging in immediately. 

Almost as if hearing him say that, the doorbell rang a minute later. Harry frowned a little in confusion. Sure, Liam was always on time or even early, but this was early even for him. There was almost twenty minutes until he was supposed to show up. Harry headed to the entry way. But when he opened the door, it wasn’t Liam. It was Louis. 

“Louis?” Harry asked, blinking in surprise at the other man. He hadn’t expected him to show up so early and seeing him caught him off guard. 

Louis looked up and flashed him a quick smile. “Hey Haz,” he relied easily, taking a step inside the house to make room for Harry to close the door behind him. 

“What are you doing here so early?” Harry asked, furrowing his brow as his eyes glanced up towards the clock. “Everyone else isn’t showing up for half an hour.”

“I know. I just wanted to come early and see you and Allie and Robbie before they left,” the twenty six year old answered honestly, toeing his shoes off of his feet. “They’re still here, right?” His eyes looked up to Harry’s, looking a little desperate. 

Harry’s chest tightened thinking of Louis coming early just to see them. He nodded. “They’re in the kitchen eating lunch,” he said, nodding into the other room. “You can go see them if you want.”

Louis smiled in relief, his eyes crinkling in the corners in a way that made Harry feel faint. “You’re the best, Haz,” he said happily, squeezing Harry’s hand and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. The younger tried to ignore how intimate it felt. A cheek kiss was a whole different level than horny make out sessions. That didn’t help the pounding of his heart. 

Louis turned to head into the kitchen when Harry snapped out of the trance he had been in. “Uh, Louis?” He said dumbly before Louis could walk out. Louis looked back at him, and Harry swallowed thickly. “They’ve, I’m, they’ve missed you.” He finished lamely. 

But Louis smiled in response, biting the inside of his cheek. “Thanks Harry,” he said softly. 

“No problem,” Harry blushed a little and nodded. He wasn’t exactly sure what Louis was thanking him for, but he accepted it nonetheless. When Louis walked out of the room and into the kitchen, Harry slapped himself mentally.  _ No problem?  _ He was so stupid. 

He followed the other man into the kitchen, where Louis was just walking in. “Hey little munchkins!” He said cheerfully. Harry didn’t know if he had ever seen anyone’s head spin around as quickly as the two kids did in that moment. Their eyes seemed to bug out of their heads.    
  
“LOU!” They squealed, dropping their sandwiches. Harry smiled to himself as they jumped off of their stools and wasted no time in running as fast as their little legs could carry them towards the man. They then both launched themselves towards him. 

Louis barked out a laugh that seemed to echo as they both jumped onto him, launching themselves into his arms. Thankfully, he caught them easily. “Hey guys,” he said happily, lifting them up. “I don’t think I’ve gotten a greeting like this in a while.”

“Hi Lou,” Allie answered, wrapping her arms around the man in a hug. “We missed you.”

“Yeah,” Robbie said, nodding as he latched himself onto Louis as well. “I missed you too. You should come here and see us more.”

Louis smiled, biting onto his lower lip. “Yeah?” He said, smiling a little. His eyes glanced over to Harry for just a second, before looking back at them. “Maybe I will.” And if that wasn’t the sweetest thing Harry had seen in awhile, he didn’t know what was. 

***

“So,” Niall said, clearing his throat as he sat down on the couch. “How’s it going?” It was only the four of them. Louis, Harry, Niall and Liam. Zayn was the only one left to arrive. 

Harry didn’t make a move to answer him, obviously, and it looked like Louis wasn’t about to either. It was Liam who ended up clearing his throat. “It’s good,” he said after a moment of awkwardness. “Um, what about you?”

Niall didn’t seem to pick up on the awkward energy at all. He just shrugged easily. “It’s been good,” he said lightly. “Had some fun times.”

Liam, ever the polite one of the group, forced a smile onto his face. “That’s great,” he said, only slightly tightly. “Did you do that with your girlfriend? How has Amelia been doing?” Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes at that. The last thing he felt like discussing was Niall’s new girlfriend. 

But apparently, Niall wasnt too keen on discussing it either. His mood immediately fell flat and his eyes narrowed at Liam. “She’s fine. Of course she’s fine. Why wouldn’t she be fine?” He snapped at Liam. “Now can we please stop talking about Amelia for once?” 

Liam blinked, taken aback. He certainly hadn’t been expecting that. And neither had Louis or Harry. “Hey. It was just a question,” Louis pointed out, a frown appearing on his face. “You don’t need to yell at Liam.”

“Maybe you guys should all just mind your own bloody business about my girlfriend,” Niall answered back without missing a beat, his eyes narrowing. “And I wasn’t yelling.”

Louis opened his mouth to say something back in response, but Harry just placed his hand onto his knee, silencing him. He knew that after being best friends with Niall for so long and for dating Louis since forced that the two of them fighting was never a good thing. Louis’ natural possessive and protective nature made him always the more outspoken and intimidating of all of them, which was a perfect match for Niall’s Irish personality. The two of them fighting could very easily end up in them ripping their heads off, which was something Harry definitely wanted to avoid. 

“Okay, Niall,” Harry said quietly, not even meeting the other man’s eyes as he spoke to him. “We won’t ask you about her.” 

Niall huffed. “Thank you,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

As if on cue, the doorbell rang, signalling that the final member of their group had arrived. Harry stood up. “I’ll go get it,” he answered, getting up off of the couch and making his way towards the door. But Louis jumped up as well before he could get very far. 

“I’ll come too,” he said hastily, hopping up and chasing him towards the door. They walked out before they got the chance to see Liam and Niall’s confused and skeptical expressions. 

They walked out to he entryway in silence, before Harry turned suddenly and grabbed Louis’ arm to stop him as well. “Lou?” He whispered, biting his lip. “Have you talked to Zayn since… you know…”

Louis shook his head. “No,” he answered, his blue eyes reflecting worry. “I tried a few times but I never got the talk to him about it. Did you talk to him?”

“No,” Harry said nervously. “I didn’t even try, I was too scared. But now he’s going to be here and… and what if he says something? Then everyone is going to know.” He could feel his breath pick up just thinking about it.

Louis placed a hand on his hip. “Hey, they’re not going to know,” he said gently, his eyes gazing reassuringly into Harry’s. “Relax. I’ll talk to him and make sure he knows not to say anything. It’s going to be fine. Just… don’t freak out.” 

“No promises,” Harry said back, but he did feel a little more reassured. Louis had always seemed to have that power over him to settle his nerves. Maybe that was why he had suffered from so much anxiety without him. 

Louis shot him a small smile. “Good,” he said, nodding curtly. His hand squeezed Harry’s hip once more from where it was resting, before side stepping over towards the door. He then twisted the knob to reveal Zayn standing there, looking both like a nervous wreck and stressed. Louis shot him a smile. “Hey, Z.”

“Hi, erm, guys,” Zayn said, looking at the two of them with a raised eyebrow. “Um, what’s up?”

“Just answering the door,” Louis answered back casually, leaning against the frame as he let the other man in. Harry nodded in agreement, not knowing what else to say. 

But the raven haired singer eyed them warily in response. “...together?” He asked slowly, looking between the two of them with a raised eyebrow. Harry could already tell what he was thinking by the way he was looking at them, that images of what happened a few days before were flashing in his eyes. Harry shifted uncomfortably. 

But Louis didn’t waver. “Yep,” he said, his own eyebrows raising challengingly as if he dared Zayn to bring up what he had seen. “Do you have a problem with that Malik?”

Zayn’s face remained neutral, not fazed. “I guess not,” he said after a moment, his expression still unreadable. Harry couldn’t tell if he meant it or not. He just couldn’t see through those brown, masked eyes. He wondered if Louis was able to tell though, since the two of them had apparently become good friends again. 

Louis took a step closer to Zayn, his eyes narrowing. “You better not,” he hissed, his voice dropping down to a low growl. “And if you say one thing about what you think you saw the other day, I swear to god Malik-”

Zayn put his hands on Louis’ chest and shoved him a few steps back. “Cut it out,” he snapped back, narrowing his own eyes. “I’m not going to say anything, Louis, for Christ sake. I don’t even know what I saw the other day and god knows that I don’t really want to know either.”

“Nothing happened,” Harry piped up quietly from where he was standing a few feet away. Zayn turned to look at him, his eyes staring deep into Harry’s own. It seemed like he was searching him, and it made Harry uncomfortable. He shifted back a little on instinct. 

“Sure,” Zayn said, but he didn’t sound like he meant it in the slightest. 

Harry felt like taking a step closer to Louis on instinct, but refrained himself. “Well, erm, do you want to come in then?” He asked tensely, stepping to the side for Zayn to walk in. He nodded, doing so. 

Zayn walked only a few steps, before Louis grabbed him by his jacket and yanked him over. “Zayn, I swear to god if you say anything…” he growled at the other man. 

“Get off,” Zayn snapped, shoving him backwards. “I said I wouldn’t say anything, and I’m not going to. But you should consider either saying something yourselves or ending whatever’s going on, because this thing isn’t going to be able to last forever.”

“Excuse me, but I don’t remember asking for your opinion, Malik,” Louis snapped, letting go of the other man’s jacket and stepping away. He then marched back into the living room where Liam and Niall were still sitting. 

Zayn just rolled his eyes at Louis’ back as he walked out. “Stupid prick,” he grumbled. 

Harry shrugged a little, wrapping his arms around himself. “Sorry about that,” he said softly, his eyes staying downcast on the floor. “That was a little intense. I didn’t actually think you would’ve said something anyways…”

“I wouldn’t have,” Zayn answered back, looking at Harry. “I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone. You should know me better than that.”

The twenty four year old nodded, biting onto his bottom lip. “I know, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Zayn continued, as if he hadn’t even heard Harry. “But that doesn’t mean that I think that this is a good idea. Whatever it is that  _ this  _ is.”

Harry frowned at that. Sure, he had told himself countless times that what they were doing wasn’t a good idea and that they should stop, but that didn’t mean he liked having someone else telling him that. “Why not?” Was what ended up coming out of his mouth. 

The older mab sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Listen, Haz. I like Lou. He’s my best mate and I love the guy. But… I don’t think he’s ready. He wasn’t ready last time and  _ you _ were the one that ended up getting hurt. You shouldn’t just get back together just because Louis decides that he suddenly wants to.”

“It’s not like that,” Harry said, his frown deepening. “We aren’t even together…”

Zayn just sighed again. “Okay then,” he said, nodding. “Whatever you say Harry. Just please be careful this time. I don’t want you getting hurt again, okay?”

“I won’t,” Harry said tightly, his stomach sinking. “And I don’t think it’s any of your business.”

Zayn was quiet for a minute, before sighing and shaking his head to himself. “Whatever,” he said quietly. “Good luck with that, then.” He then walked past Harry, heading into the living room without another word. Harry followed close behind, the echo of his friend’s words bouncing around his head. 

***

It was crazy how fast that day changed. What had started off as a fun and cute morning, with Louis coming to see the twins, had gone south very fast. And just like that, the walls that Harry had built around his life, crumbled in an instant. 

They were all sitting around the living room, talking and having a fun time together. For the most part, it was pretty much drama free, other than the occasional comment on Niall’s part. True to his word, Zayn didn’t say anything. And the day passed by without too much trouble. 

However, it had all changed quickly. 

Louis had just said something funny, and they were all laughing together. Harry actually felt genuinely happy around them all, and he was having a great time. For a moment, it was just like old times. 

And then Liam’s phone binged. 

Then Niall’s. 

Then Zayn’s. 

Then Louis’. 

And then Harry’s phone seemed to explode with notifications. 

“What the hell?” Zayn muttered with a frown as he reached for his phone. Everyone else did the same. His brows furrowed as he tapped on his phone screen. “Guys, I’m getting a ton of Twitter notifications…”

“Wait, so am I,” Liam spoke up as he scrolled through his phone as well with a frown. “What is it?”

“Must be something important if we’re all getting the same thing,” Louis commented as he also scrolled through his phone. Pretty soon, they were all tapping on their devices in confusion. 

Niall frowned. “What is…” his voice seemed to die down as his eyes widened. Everyone looked over to him, watching as the blond man slowly reached a hand up to cover his mouth as a shocked expression came over his face. “Harry… it’s a picture of you…” he said slowly, his eyes never leaving the screen. “And… and Allie and Robbie…”

“What?” Harry asked, jumping off of the couch as he hurried over towards the blond man. Niall passed him the phone wordlessly. Harry was quick to grab it as his throat jumped to his throat. 

There is was. Clear as day, a picture of Harry and the twins. It was the day they had been at the grocery store all together. Allie was sitting in the cart, while Harry held Robbie in his arms carrying him. It was recent too. 

**_Breaking News: Harry Styles Out At Grocery Store With Kids?! Inside Sorce Reveals All! Read More Here._ **

As he scrolled down, he could see the tweet included an article, revealing that he had been there with his kids. But Harry was too in shock to actually read it. 

“What the fuck,” Liam gasped once he saw it. You know it was bad when Liam was throwing around the f-bomb. The other boys rushed to look at it as well, their faces morphing into shock and disbelief as they did so. 

And that was when Harry’s legs seemed to give out. 


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I totally just got a crazy rush of writing motivation and pumped out this chapter in three days!! So that’s kinda wild since it usually takes a week for a chapter. But anyways, I have this ready for y’all, so enjoy :)

Harry was shaking a little from where he was sitting on his chair. He was wrapped in a blanket that he held tightly around himself. He was tucked into one of the boardroom chairs at Syco, but he felt he’d rather be anywhere else in the whole world. 

He was shaking. Like, physically shaking. His hands were tucked underneath his thighs to keep them from trembling, but that didn’t do anything to stop the nervous tremors that were shaking through his body. He felt sick to his stomach, like he could kneel over at any second and vomit. But it never came. 

Next to him on another chair was Louis, who looked more so stiff than shaky. His hands were on the table, clenched into tight fists, with his nails digging into the skin of his palm. It looked painful, but Louis didn’t seem to even notice. He was rigid beside Harry, showing no other sign of life other than the sharp inhales and exhales coming sharply through his nose. 

Harry normally would have tried to find out why Louis was feeling this way and how he could help, but not today. Harry didn’t think he could do anything even remotely human. He was in shock. He sat, frozen, as his mind flashed back to what had happened just a few hours ago. 

***

_ Niall frowned. “What is…” his voice seemed to die down as his eyes widened. Everyone looked over to him, watching as the blond man slowly reached a hand up to cover his mouth as a shocked expression came over his face. “Harry… it’s a picture of you…” he said slowly, his eyes never leaving the screen. “And… and Allie and Robbie…” _

_ “What?” Harry asked, jumping off of the couch as he hurried over towards the blond man. Niall passed him the phone wordlessly. Harry was quick to grab it as his throat jumped to his throat.  _

_ There it was. Clear as day, a picture of Harry and the twins. It was the day they had been at the grocery store all together. Allie was sitting in the cart, while Harry held Robbie in his arms carrying him. It was recent too.  _

**_Breaking News: Harry Styles Out At Grocery Store With Kids?! Inside Source Reveals All! Read More Here._ **

_ As he scrolled down, he could see the tweet included an article, revealing that he had been there with his kids. But Harry was too in shock to actually read it.  _

_ And that was when Harry’s legs seemed to give out.  _

_ And everything went to chaos.  _

_ Thankfully, Liam had seen it coming. “Woah,” he exclaimed, his eyes widening. “Niall, catch him.” Niall then looked over and reached out, grabbing Harry by the arm and hauling him up just in time before he could fall over. He then helped Harry over to the couch next to him, letting him sag onto it.  _

_ Harry blinked in shock. “How did this happen?” He asked dumbly, his mind still reeling. All he had worked so hard to keep out of the public eye was now revealed. Everyone now knew about the twins. They knew. Allie and Robbie weren’t a secret anymore. Everyone, all the media, all the fans, all the other celebrities- they all knew now.  _

_ “Where’s the article?” Louis asked, his face hardening. Niall passed him the phone wordlessly. The Doncaster then took it into his hands and started mad-scrolling through. His face looked concentrated, even angry, as he seemed to scroll through the article that was attached. Everyone watched him in confusion as he growled.  _

_ “Louis, what are you doing?” Zayn asked as he watched his best friend slowly get more and more angry at the phone.  _

_ But Louis just shook his head. “It doesn’t say who the source was,” he said, his face seeming to turn red. He was mad. Like, more angry than he had been in a long time that Harry had seen. The last time he had been that angry had been when James asked them to sign the contracts just a few days before. “Dammit! It doesn’t say who leaked it!” _

_ “Louis, calm down,” Liam said reproachfully, his eyes tracking the movement of Louis’ angry scrolling in concern. “We’ll find out who leaked it. Just don’t freak out.” _

_ “Oh my god,” Harry mumbled to himself, his chest starting to tighten like a familiar feeling he hadn’t had for a while. A panic attack was coming on, fast and sure, and the thought of it only made him panic more. His eyes started to water. “They know. Everyone knows. Oh my god. I can’t do this.” _

_ Niall’s eyes flicked from Louis, to Harry again. His eyes seemed to glance over the younger man for a long moment, seeming hesitant. But then his eyes seemed to click back into focus, and he swallowed. Then, without warning, he wrapped his arm around Harry’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “Calm down, Haz,” the blond man said soothingly. “It’s gonna be okay, alright? Everything is going to be okay?” _

_ Louis growled. “I can’t see who leaked it!” He yelled, causing everyone to flinch a little at his voice. “It doesn’t say who the stupid source was!” _

_ Zayn was the first one who moved towards Louis. He then took the phone from his grasp, having to physically wrench it from him. Louis didn’t seem to want to let go of it, but eventually, Zayn managed to take a hold of the device. “Louis, stop yelling. You’re going to stress out Harry,” he snapped.  _

_ Louis glared at him in response. “I’m trying to help here!” He snapped back, his eyes narrowing. “Someone leaked this CLASSIFIED information and I seem to be the only one trying to do anything about it!” _

_ “How did they know? How did they get that picture?” Harry gasped, his throat starting to feel like it was closing up. He squeezed his eyes shut as questions and confusion seemed to fill his mind. “Now everyone is going to know. Oh my god. Everyone knows. They know I lied. They know I-” _

_ “Hush, Harry,” Niall said, softly. “We’re going to fix this. Just breathe, okay?” _

_ “Louis, you need to calm down,” the raven haired man said calmly, holding his ground as he held tight to the phone. “We’re going to figure this out, okay? But you having a fit and Harry panicking isn’t going to help us figure out anything. So, please. Calm. Down.” _

_ Liam nodded, his gaze flickering in between the four of them. “Zayn is right,” he agreed. “We have to think about this rationally. Who do we know that would have been able to leak it?” _

_ Louis barked out a humorless laugh. “Well if we knew that, we wouldn’t be in this mess!” He yelled at Liam, causing the other man to frown at him. “Use your brain, Payno!” _

_ “Louis, shut up! You aren’t helping anyone!” Niall snapped at the older man, narrowing his own eyes. “Now get the hell over here and help Harry.” _

_ For a second, Louis seemed conflicted. His expression was hesitant and clouded, almost as if he was eternally debating whether or not he wanted to keep arguing. But then after a moment, he snapped out of it and huffed. Then he walked across the room in one fluid motion until he was on the couch. He then sat down and wrapped his arm around Harry, forcing the younger man’s face into his neck.  _

_ “Okay…” Liam said after a moment, eyeing the pair of them strangely. “So, back to what I was saying. We need to think about this rationally. Who that we know knows about the twins and could have leaked the information? If we find out who knows about the twins, then we can figure out who the source was.” _

_ Zayn nodded in agreement, running a hand through his hair. “Liam’s right,” he said. “We just need to think of who knows about them and then go from there. Haz, you good?” _

_ Louis narrowed his eyes at the raven haired man. “Does he look fine to you?” He snapped in response, his arm tightening from where it was wrapped protectively around Harry’s shoulders. Now both Niall and Liam were watching him strangely, while Zayn just pursed his lips.  _

_ Harry exhaled heavily after a second. He could feel the panic starting that had been rising inside of his chest, start to disappear again. “I’m good,” he said, swallowing thickly as he pushed himself off of Louis again. “I’m alright. I just want to figure out how this happened.” _

_ Niall frowned at that, biting his lip. “Are you sure?” He asked the other man in concern. “We don’t have to do it now if-” _

_ “I said I’m fine,” the curly haired singer snapped at his friend, cutting him off stiffly. “And I want to figure out who would have leaked the information about my children. So no, we aren’t going to wait.” _

_ Niall sighed at that, raising his eyebrows in response and sitting back. Harry felt a small boost of satisfaction at that for some reason. “Okay then,” Liam said, nodding as he looked between the two friends. Harry was just glad he had so far chosen not to comment. “So who knows about them, Harry?” _

_ “Um, all of us,” Harry said, nodding in thought, a small crease between his eyebrows. “My mum, Robin, Gemma, Michael, Gigi, Ollie, James Cordon, Cecelia, Mitch from my band, Jeff my old manager. Uhh, that’s all I can think of…” _

_ “Could it have been one of our kids?” Liam asked after a second. “I mean, I can’t imagine how it could have been Bear since he’s homeschooled and doesn’t really have anyone to tell….” _

_ Louis nodded. “It couldn’t have been Freddie since he’s been with me all week. I would say that it could have been Briana, but she’s been off in Miami for the past month and hasn’t made an effort to talk to Freddie, so…” Harry could tell he sounded angry about that, but that was a discussion for another time.  _

_ “All of our kids are homeschooled, so it couldn’t have been them,” Zayn said, nodding. “I don’t think it was our partners either. I know Gigi would never, and I know Ollie wouldn’t either.” _

_ “It wasn’t Eleanor either,” Louis said lowly after a moment. “I didn’t… I didn’t even tell her…” _

_ Harry frowned. “So who could it have been?” He asked impatiently, his frown deepening. He looked at each of them one by one, but his friends all looked equally as stumped as he felt. That was, until he looked at Niall.  _

_ Niall’s face seemed to morph from confused to horror as he slowly reached a hand up to cover his mouth in shock. Then slowly, he turned to face Harry. “Haz…” he said, sounding breathless with shock, his eyes as wide as tennis balls. “I know who leaked it.” _

_ *** _

Harry was stirred from his thoughts by the sound of the boardroom door opening. His head snapped up with Louis, seeing James walk in. He looked angry, tired and stressed. None of them looked particularly good on him if Harry could say so himself. 

The manager didn’t say anything as he walked across the room and over to the boardroom table. He then silently sat down on the chair across from them. Harry felt the pit in his stomach tightening with each passing second. James then exhaled longly, looking up at them. 

“You were right,” he said after a moment. “It was Amelia who leaked it.”

Harry looked down at his hands in response, the words settling in. Amelia Woolley, otherwise known as Niall’s girlfriend, leaked the information. The whole thing had been a shock ever since Niall revealed that he had told her about the twins. Then she had gone to the press, who already HAD the pictures, and confirmed everything for them. 

And, thanks to her, the whole world knew his greatest secret. 

“Unfortunately, there’s not much we can do about this,” James admitted, and he actually seemed honest. Not out of sympathy, of course, but out of worry for his own skin. But at least they were on the same page for once. “We took down the article, but we can’t press changes because she hadn’t signed an NDA. And at this point, the article has already been seen by millions.”

Harry couldn’t help but bury his head in his hands at that, feeling as if his entire world was being flipped around. “Oh god,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“We’re going to have to make an announcement,” James continued, not even acknowledging Harry. “We can’t keep this under wraps after that article. We’re going to have to confirm it. So, the team and I scheduled for you boys to all be on the James’ Corden show soon, where he will both promote the tour and will ask about the situation. We’ll confirm it there, and hopefully it will all blow over by the time we actually go on tour. Thankfully, most of our tickets are sold-out already, so it’s not like this will ruin the tour. Yet.”

“So that’s good?” Louis asked, with a raised eyebrow. It was hard to read his expression, but at least Harry could tell that he was pissed off and trying to hide it. He hoped that that was all he was feeling at the moment, and that it wasn’t directed at Harry. 

The manager nodded. “We’re going to sort this out as long as no one else messes anything else up,” he said tightly. “But I think that we can pull this off and make it less of a deal than it is now. Thankfully Amelia didn’t reveal anything about any… conspiracies… and therefore, Louis isn’t part of this. The world knows nothing other than what was written in the article.”

Meaning that they still couldn’t come out. The world still didn’t know about their relationship. Harry didn’t know if that was good or bad anymore. Louis’ jaw tightened. “Good for you, we won’t say anything, he said tightly, his voice still masked with gritted teeth. “Can we go now?”

The manager sighed. “Yes, you can go. We have everything we need,” he said, nodding as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “The team is going to sort through this mess. Just try not to mess anything else up.”

“Great,” Louis said, standing up from his seat hastily, causing the chair to tip backwards. He didn’t make a move to pick it back up, as he grabbed hold of Harry’s arm and pulled him to his feet. Harry was then dragged out of the room by the other man, stumbling behind him in shock on the way out. 

The two of them walked out of the room, and didn’t stop until they were walking down the hall. Harry wasn’t even really doing much of the walking anymore, mainly just letting himself be pulled along by Louis. He was still stunned by what was happening, and didn’t trust himself to stand on his own. 

They walked out together in silence, until they got to the parking lot. It was then, and only then, that Louis let go of his grip on Harry’s forearm. “This is bullshit,” he growled as Harry stumbled a little behind him. “All of this is bullshit.”

Harry didn’t say anything. For one, Louis didn’t seem to be talking to him. More talking to himself in anger rather than actually talking to the curly haired man. Plus, he seemed to be zoned out. Harry on the other hand, didn’t know if he trusted himself to speak to Louis when he was this mad. 

Louis then let out a yell that seemed to echo in the air, causing Harry to flinch. “WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAVE TO GO WRONG!?” He screamed, throwing his hands in the air. “This is stupid! This is BULLSHIT!” He then panted a little, running a hand through his hair. “I need to go. I need to get out of here. I need a drink,” he mumbled to himself. 

Harry swallowed thickly at that, biting onto his bottom lip. “Lou?” He asked meekly, his voice trembling a little as he spoke. “Are you… are you mad at me?”

Louis spun around at that, his eyes softening as they landed on Harry. “No, baby,” he said softly, pulling Harry closer. He then lent forward and pressed a kiss to the other man’s forehead. “Not at you. I just hate this. I hate that everything always has to go wrong whenever it feels right. I just need… I just need to cool off in a bar or something.”

Harry nodded, swallowing. “Okay,” he said softly. “Bye then.” Louis shot him a small smile, pressing one final kiss to his head, before turning off to walk in the direction of his car, leaving Harry standing in the parking lot. 

It wasn’t Louis’ fault, but Harry couldn’t help but feel a sinking feeling as the other man drove off. He shouldn’t feel this way. He knew that he didn’t have a right to Louis and that Louis wasn’t obligated to stay with him always. But he still couldn’t help but feel a little lost as the one man who might know what he was going through was driving off to drink the pain away and leaving him there. Not that he b;amed Louis. He knew that Louis had always needed time to himself, whether to drink or to smoke, before facing huge problems like this. It was just who he was. 

But before Harry could feel too badly about himself, standing alone in the cold parking lot, another car drove up to him. Harry watched it until it pulled up in front of him. The window then slid down to reveal Niall, a pained expression on his face. 

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice croaking. It looked like he had been crying. 

Harry swallowed. “Hey,” he said in response, his voice shaking again. 

Niall looked a little uncomfortable. Maybe even guilty. “Do you, um…. Do you want to get in?” He offered, nodding to the passenger’s seat. 

Harry paused for a moment, before nodding. He then hopped into the car with his best friend, as the two of them drove off together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, make sure you let me know what you think in the comments :)


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this is not my best work. Of course, I never like my work. So, um, if you don’t like it could you maybe just not say anything?? Please say nice things in the comments please cuz I’ve had a few incidents on this story with people who did not tpwk and those aren’t fun. This account has sorta become therapeutic for me, so please if you comment, please stay positive. Thanks so much :)
> 
> ALSO, DID EVERYONE SEE HARRYS VOGUE COVER?!?! HES SO BEAUTIFUL!!

Harry pushed open the door to Niall’s penthouse, before stepping inside. He stood in the entryway, arms wrapped around himself as the blond man walked in after him. Niall toed off his shoes while Harry watched in silence, doing the same. Neither of them said anything for a long moment. 

Niall cleared his throat a little, his eyes shifting around and not quite meeting Harry’s eyes. “So… um… do you want to come sit down and I can make some tea?” He offered a little awkwardly, shifting on his feet. “And we could maybe talk?”

Harry swallowed and nodded. “Okay,” he said quietly. “Tea sounds nice.”

“Great, I’ll go make it. You can just go, um, sit down over there. Or wherever. I’ll just go get the tea ready,” he said, already walking out of the room. The tension in the room was flying through the roof, and it seemed like Niall didn’t know how to process it, as he practically flew out of the room. 

The curly haired singer wasn’t fazed though. To be perfectly honest, he still felt numb with shock about the whole thing. For one, he was still in shock about how his biggest secret was now exposed for the world to see and that everyone knew about his children. Then he was still in shock that the person who had told everyone about his kids had been none other than Niall’s girlfriend, whom he had never actually met before. All in all, he just felt numb right now. 

Harry walked out of the entryway and headed for Niall’s living room. It was the same room he had been in countless times, but this time it felt different. It felt strange for him to be sitting in Niall’s home, on Niall’s couch, after they had had a blown up fight AND his girlfriend sold him out. It felt like they were two new people, and in a way, they were. 

But the leather felt the same and the cushions seemed to sink in where he sat just like they always had. There was still a stain on the armrest from a long night of drinking, that Niall had yet to get removed. It was still the same couch. Which was what kept him sitting there. 

Niall still wasn’t back, which meant that he was probably just wasting time making the tea. Other than that, time just seemed to slow down on Harry. But either way, it seemed to be taking forever and Harry was getting antsy. So to distract him, he did the one thing that he had sworn never to do. 

He opened his twitter. 

And instantly regretted it. His inbox was full of tweets and retweets that had all been directed at him. There were millions of them, all spamming his twitter feed. The pictures captured of him and the twins at the store were everywhere, followed by fans and people freaking out. Things like #Harrysbabies and #Styleskids were trending everywhere. It was overwhelming. Not only did everyone know, but they were making sure everyone else knew too. 

The other thing that was trending further down was #Larrybabies, but there weren’t too many of those considering that you couldn’t actually see Robbie’s face in the picture because it was so blurry, which was a stroke of luck. If the picture had managed to capture the boy’s face… Harry didn’t want to think about that just yet. 

He had been so absorbed in his phone that he didn’t realize Niall coming back until the other man was behind him and reaching down to grab his phone. “None of that, Haz,” he said, reprimanding. “You know that the media isn’t going to help anything other than stress you out.”

Harry frowned, curling in on himself a little. “I just want to know what they’re saying about me…” he said quietly with a frown. 

“I know you do, but we both know that the media is going to be blowing up one way or another and looking at all the stuff they’re tweeting isn’t going to help you any, yeah?” The blond man said, setting his friend’s phone down onto the coffee table a few feet away. “Now, here’s your tea.”

Harry accepted the tea into his hands, feeling the warmth pressing into his skin. It felt nice and soothing, even just to hold it. “Thanks,” he mumbled, taking a small sip of the drink. It was Yorkshire tea, Louis’ favourite kind. Niall hadn’t had any of it before, so Harry wondered why he had it now and why he was giving it to Harry. 

They sat on the couch together for a while, just sipping their teas in silence. They were on the same couch, just a few feet away from one another, but it felt like miles to Harry. Like there was a great distance between them. It was tense. But still, they didn’t say anything for a long time, just drank their warm drinks. 

Harry had finished half of his drink before Niall decided to say something. “Harry, I-” he started, before cutting himself off. The younger man looked over at him curiously, seeing that Niall had a pained expression on his face. “Harry, I’m so sorry. For this, for our fight- for everything.”

Harry looked back down at his drink, feeling his stomach start to twist in knots. “Why did you do it?” He asked, his voice thick with emotion that clogged up his throat. “Why did you leave me and- and why did we have that fight, Niall? I thought we were friends.”

Niall looked like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest. “We were- we  _ are,”  _ he insisted desperately, moving closer to the other man. He looked like he wanted to reach out for Harry, but refrained. “We always were friends, Harry, and we always will be.”

“Are we though?” The curly haired man snapped, turning his head to face in the other direction so that Niall wouldn’t be able to see the sheen layer of tears behind his eyes. “Or are you just pitying me? Babysitting me because you feel bad for poor, lonely Harry?”

“No, god, no,” Niall said hastily, moving even closer until they were practically touching. “It’s never been like that, Haz. Never. I don’t… I don’t know why I said that. I didn’t mean it, Harry, I swear. I was just so… I don’t even know. I was angry and stressed and I took it out on you, Harry, and I’m so sorry.”

Harry turned to look at him, furrowing his brows. “How come?” 

Niall seemed to look guilty and sheepish at that. “Well, Amelia…” he said, frowning at himself. “She… she never really liked me. She only wanted to date me because she wanted to become famous. That was the only reason. And I guess she wanted to get to know you more because, well, you’re the Harry Styles. I think she actually liked you and was just using me…”

“Liked me?” Harry repeated, raising his eyebrows. “Niall, I’m gay.”

“I know that, but she didn’t and I wasn’t going to out you,” the blond man said hastily. “I don’t even know why I dated her in the first place. It was just… Liam has Ollie, Zayn has Gigi, and well, I don’t know what’s going on with you and Louis-” Harry almost choked on his tea “-but everyone is moving on in their lives with partners and kids, and I’m just uncle Niall. I mean, I love being uncle Niall. But sometimes… I get jealous of you guys for having it all together when I don’t.”

At that, Harry put his hand on Niall’s leg. “Niall, you know better than anyone else that I do not have it together in the slightest. I’m a mess, and today just proves that more than anything,” he said, letting out a humorless laugh. 

His friend nodded, exhaling heavily. “I know. I’m just so stupid,” he said, burying his face in his hands. “I’m just ruining everything. And I’m hurting you in the process. I’m so sorry, Harry. If I had known that she would have done any of this, I would never have told her about you or the twins or anything. I would never have dated her. I knew it was a bad idea in the first place. I was just stupid enough to think anyone ever would have liked me.”

Harry hesitated for just a second, before scooching closer to his friend. He then slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around Niall, pulling him close until they were hugging. “Someone will like you, Niall. I promise you that. You’re so funny and nice. Amelia is just a bitch,” Niall let out a wet laugh at that. “But I swear that you’re gonna find someone someday. Maybe have kids. And that person won’t just want you for your fame, they’re gonna want you because they love you.”

Niall let out a shuddering sigh as he gripped onto Harry as well. “I don’t deserve you, Hazza,” he said, his own voice thick. He might have even been crying. “I was such an asshole to you and now you’re the one comforting me. You shouldn’t even be forgiving me-”

“But I do,” Harry said, cutting him off as he squeezed the other man tighter. 

“You shouldn’t,” Niall insisted again, a frown tugging his lips downwards and he pulled back a little to look Harry in the eyes. “You shouldn’t forgive me so quickly, Haz. It’s okay to not forgive someone right away after they hurt you.”

But the younger singer just shook his head. “I do forgive you,” he continued. “Because we’re gonna need each other. I can’t do this without you, not after… not with everything that’s going to happen. We need each other, Niall.”

Niall then nodded, his eyes softening. “Yeah…” he said, his eyes searching Harry’s face. “How are you doing?” 

“Right now? Pretty shitty,” he said with a small grimace, his eyes lowering down to look at his clasped hands. Flashes of the day flashed before his eyes. Niall yelling at him. Him having a near panic attack. Everyone finding out about the twins. The meeting with James. Louis leaving him. “Today has not been my day.”

Niall hummed. “I’ll bet,” he muttered. “God, I’m so glad I broke up with that bitch. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t know if I can,” Harry admitted, biting onto his lip as he wrapped his arms around himself. “I still can’t really believe it just yet. Like, everyone knows now. I just can’t wrap my head around it yet. I think I just need some time.”

The blond man nodded in understanding. “Okay then,” he said gently. “I’m here when you do want to talk, okay? And like, if you ever want to talk about anything else. I know I haven’t been the best friend to you, but you can talk to me Harry. I care about you.”

The twenty four year old nodded, before stopping. He froze, looking up Niall’s face. It was watching Harry with a genuine expression that made Harry falter. If they were going to reconcile, might as well put everything out on the table. He chewed on his bottom lip. “Actually, there is one thing…” 

Niall nodded, urging him to go on. So Harry took a deep breath. “Louis and I…” he said slowly. “We’ve been sneaking around to secretly make out for the past few weeks.”

***

“Okay, we’re on in ten minutes!” A crew member yelled at everyone. 

Because this was the day. The day that they were at the James Corden show. It had been just a few days since the world found out about Harry and the kids, and now there they were. Ready to go on air for the first time as a band. 

Harry was sitting on the couch next to Zayn, with Niall on the other end of it. He was closest to James. Liam and Louis were behind them, sitting on the two, tall chairs in the back. Across the room from them, James Corden was standing getting ready for the show, talking with someone. Thankfully, their manager James hadn’t been able to make it. Some other people from Syco were also there, but they weren’t nearly as intimidating. There were also people sitting in the crowd, talking and laughing excitedly amongst each other. 

Zayn judged him in the side of the ribs, causing Harry to look over at him. “Hey,” he mumbled quietly, his eyes reflecting concern. “Are you good?”

Harry nodded despite himself. “I will be,” he answered back, forcing a small smile at the other man. “I just need to get this over with and then I’ll be fine.” He needed to talk quietly, because even though they trusted the Late Late Show, you could never be too careful what you were saying in public. 

Zayn nodded, but didn’t look convinced. “Okay then,” he said quietly. “I’m here if you need to talk or anything. And Lou said that if you want to tap out, he and James have a signal to change the subject.” 

Oh right. He and Louis were on set. Aka, in public. And that meant that they couldn’t sit together, look at each other or talk to each other. No interacting in any way. After being solo for so long, he had almost forgotten what that felt like. It was kind of like a blow to be going back to that after so many years. 

But the twenty four year old just nodded and tried his best not to look fazed. “Yeah, okay,” he whispered back, swallowing thickly. “Tell him thanks.” 

Zayn shot him a sympathetic look, and patted him on the leg. “It will get better,” was all he said, before leaning back and giving Louis Harry’s message. Harry didn’t exactly know what Zayn meant by that, but he hoped that he was right. 

Harry then took that as an opportunity to look around at the crowd. He was glad that the Late Late Show booked their tickets before announcing who the guests were. That way the crowd wasn’t packed with directioners. Just normal people who bought tickets. At least that would seem less stressful for him. Facing the fans was going to be a battle of its own. 

Still, Harry had never thought in a million years that he would be here. Sitting with the band and back together. He was back on good terms with everyone, Louis and Liam and Niall and Zayn. He was good with all of them at the moment and it was great. It was something he never thought would happen after Zayn left the band, Liam went off to live his life as a real adult, and him and Louis broke up. He thought it would be him and Niall against the world, and didn’t consider that they would all be together again. But he was grateful that they were. 

He couldn’t help but reflect on how much his life had changed. It seemed like it had just flipped right around on that one fateful day. It was cliche, but he knew that nothing would ever be the same again. Everything had changed forever. 

At the start of the summer, Harry had been certain that it was a bad idea. The whole getting-the-band-back-together just seemed to be a giant step back. Like he hadn’t grown up in those ten years since it was formed. It felt like nothing he had done to free himself had done anything. He was back to the same management with the same boys and the same rules. It felt like he had willingly signed up for his freedom to be taken from him. It had just been all in all a bad idea. 

But now he was certain that it was maybe the best thing that happened to him that’s happened to him since he had the twins. For one, he didn’t have to hide anymore who he was to the world. He now had his friends that he hadn’t know he needed until now. And Louis was now in his and the twins’ lives. And it was great even if only for those three reasons. 

It was so strange. He had thought that this was the last thing he ever wanted. He had grown so used to it just being him, Niall and the kids that he had been scared of what could have happened if he opened up again. What was happening now was what he had always thought would be the worst thing ever. He didn’t want to reconnect with the boys who had left him. He didn’t want to see Louis who had dumped him. And he didn’t want anyone to see his kids whom he had kept shielded for their entire lives. 

But now it was happening, and he was happy. Genuinely happy for maybe the first time in a long time. He had friends. He had a life. He wasn’t spending every night panicking and relying completely on Niall. And he was happy, which was a thought that surprised him. He had almost forgotten what being happy felt like. 

Zayn nudged him again. “We’re starting soon,” he said, shooting Harry a concerned expression that Harry ignored. “Harry, are you sure you’re fine? You seem kind of zoned out…”

“I’m fine, I was just thinking,” Harry whispered back, his voice low. “I can do this.”

It was then that James Corden strolled over to them with his usual bright smile and bubbly personality. “Hello boys!” He chirped happily as he strolled over to them and sat down in his desk chair next to them. 

Louis shot him a small smile that seemed just a little bit forced. “Hey James,” he said somewhat tightly. “Are we almost ready to start this thing?”

James nodded. “Just a few more minutes and we’ll be on air,” he confirmed, nodding. He then reached over to pat Harry on the back. “You ready to go, Harry?” He asked in his usual voice, but there was an underlying tone of concern. 

Harry nodded his head, trying his best to look as neutral and nonchalant as possible. “Yep,” he said, forcing a smile onto his face. “Let’s do this.”

“Great,” James confirmed, nodding his head with a smile. “And just so you know, this isn’t live and we can edit anything out that you don’t want to add in. And if you want to change the subject, just give me some sort of signal and we’ll move on. Already have some cute kitten videos to talk about just in case.”

The younger man actually smiled at that. “Ha ha, okay. Thanks a lot, James,” he said lightly, taking a deep breath. “But I’m good. I’m ready for this.”

James opened his mouth to respond, but a crew member cut him off before he could. “Everyone ready?!” He called over to them. James shot Harry an apologetic expression, before nodding. “Okay! We’re on in five, four, three, two, one!” The crew member pointed at James for his cue. 

“Hello and welcome back to the Late Late Show!” James Corden said, plastering on his normal, bright smile. “Thank you all for coming out for the show! Tonight we are joined by a very special guest… One Direction!” 

***

“So Harry,” James started halfway through the show. Harry smiled at him, swallowing thickly. This was it. It was time. His heart started pounding at the thought. “I think there’s something we need to discuss.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, pretending to be unknowing as he smiled at the other man. “And what’s that James?”

James pretended to lose his focus for a moment, leaning forward slightly. He then jumped, pretending to snap back. “Oh sorry! I got lost in your eyes for a second! How embarrassing,” the crowd laughed at that, and Harry felt like a small weight had been lifted off of his chest. “As I was saying, there are these conspiracies floating around the internet.”

“Aren’t there always,” the twenty four year old said with a shrug. 

James nodded. “Right. But this one is a little bit different than usual. I don’t know if you’ve seen it or not, but there’s this article circling around the internet if you and two children in a grocery store. People are suspecting that they are actually yours. Now, I don’t want to dive too deep into this, but can you confirm or deny this rumour?”

This was it. Time to make or break this entire interview. Harry took a moment to take a breath. “I can confirm that this is true,” he said. The audience seemed to be on the edges of their seats. “I have two twins, Alison and Robbie who are five.” 

The crowd seemed to be on the edges of their seats in silence. Harry was starting to regret doing this, questioning if it was really a good idea. Maybe he should have just left it and hoped it would blow over. But then someone started clapping. Then another person. And then the room was clapping for him, cheering. For him. For his kids. Harry felt a swell of pride as he smiled up at the cheering crowd. 

James smiled as well, motioning told Harry. “You heard it here first, everyone!” He said loudly. “Mr Harry Styles has just confirmed having kids tonight, here on the Late Late Show!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, only a few chapters left in this part!! Crazy!! Let me know what you think :)


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, so I’m running on half depresso and expresso but here we are!
> 
> I actually like this one. I don’t know why exactly, but this one just made me happy to write and I hope you guys like it too :)

“Okay, does everyone have their bags?” Liam asked as they walked through the hallway of the airport. He was at the front, one of his hands carrying a bag while the other was clutching onto Bear’s hand. “Remember, only one carry-on per person.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Yes, we know, Payno,” he said as he followed close behind the other man, his own bag and son in his hands as well. “You’ve only reminded us fifteen times since we left our cars. So for the last time, we have our bags.”

“Well excuse me for being worried,” Liam snapped back at him, narrowing his eyes at Louis, never breaking his stride. “But I seem to be the only one who’s trying to help us make this flight on time.”

“Right, and reminding us of the same thing over and over again is going to change anything,” Louis responded sassily, raising his eyebrows challengingly. 

Liam seemed to bristle at that, his eyes narrowing again until they were practically slits. He opened his mouth to respond, probably another comment about how he actually cared about being on time unlike the rest of them, and that Louis was acting like a child. 

But Ollie, who was walking beside his boyfriend, cut him off before he could start. “Let’s not fight,” he said to them, cutting off Liam before he could speak. “We’re on a fun Christmas trip. Let’s not start arguing now. This is supposed to be a fun bonding time.”

Gigi, who was dressed in her own beautiful matching sweatsuit, nodded in agreement. “Yeah guys,” she said. “This is a fun trip. No need to start fighting with each other now when there’s gonna be plenty more time later on.” She added that last part, winking at Zayn playfully. 

Harry nodded from where he was walking beside Liam. “No fighting,” he said in agreement. “Just let Liam be a white mom three hours at the airport,” he added, leaning up to whisper in Louis’ ear. That got Louis to stop taunting Liam, instead just smiling at Harry instead. 

“I guess I can let him have that then,” Louis said in response, keeping his voice low enough for only Harry to hear. Harry then covered his mouth with his free hand that wasn’t holding Robbie, suppressing a giggle. 

Niall looked over at the pair of them, watching with a raised eyebrow. It was no secret that he disapproved of Harry and Louis’... well, their thing. He hadn’t blatantly said it out loud to Harry, but it was obvious it was true. When Harry had told him about him and Louis, Niall had been shocked. Then concerned. He had proceeded to warn Harry countless times, reminding him about what had happened last time he and Louis had been together. 

But in Harry’s opinion, that wasn’t the case. They had both grown a lot since then and it wasn’t the same. Plus, they weren’t even together. They were just… he didn’t know what they were. There wasn’t a label. Plus, he didn’t see why everyone needed an opinion on them in the first place.

Not that there was a ‘them’ to begin with…

“Anyways,” Niall said just a little too loudly, causing everyone to look at him. He was shooting the pair of them a disapproving expression. Harry rolled his eyes at his friend in annoyance, scoffing under his breath. “We’re almost at the plane so we should pick out seating arrangements now.”

“I’m sitting with daddy,” Robbie spoke up, speaking around the thumb that was in his mouth. He tightened his hand that was holding onto Harry’s for reassurance. The small boy always insisted on sitting beside Harry whenever they went on planes, since they made him nervous. 

“I’m sitting with my dad too,” Freddie said, nodding confidently. 

Allie frowned a little from where she was holding onto Louis’ second hand. “I wanna sit by Lou too,” she pouted. And ouch, that kind of stung Harry. But he brushed it off fairly easily considering that the twins hadn’t seen Louis for a while, so it didn’t sting too bad. 

But it made Freddie frown and furrow his brows. “No you’re not,” he argued at her, narrowing his eyes. “He’s my dad and I’m gonna sit by him. Go sit by your own daddy.”

“But Robbie’s sitting by him! And I hafta sit by someone!” She argued back. She then eyed him up and down, placing her hands on her hips. “Besides, I’m littler so I have to sit beside someone or else I’ll get scared. You’re big so you can sit by yourself. S’ just the rules.”

That made Freddie’s face turn angrier. “Nuh uh! Those aren’t the rules! There are no rules!” He frowned. “And… and… I might get scared too!”

“Baby,” Allie commented, raising her eyebrows unimpressed. “How old are you again? Eight?”

That comment made Freddie’s face start to turn pink with anger. It seemed like the Tomlinson in both of them had started to shine though, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. But thankfully Niall, good old uncle Niall, decided to step in. He walked over and scooped the small girl into his arms. “Awe, you don’t want to sit by me Alligator?” He asked with a pout. 

Allie looked at him, blinking a few times with a small pout. “Umm, okay?” She said after a moment. It was obvious to Harry that she would rather be sitting by Louis, but that wasn’t going to happen so he was just glad she decided to go with Niall instead. 

Niall smiled at her in response. “Awesome, I was hoping I would get to sit next to my favourite princess,” he said, before lowering his voice to a loud whisper. “Just don’t tell your daddy I said that!” The small girl giggled at that, the fight leaving her. 

“I want to sit by mommy,” Christle said as she wrapped her arms around Gigi’s leg. 

Zayn pretended to grimace. “Ouch,” he commented. “I guess I’ll sit by Liam then, and Bear and Ollie will sit together?”

Liam nodded, smiling. “Great, that works. Glad we got that all figured out so quickly, maybe we won’t be late after all. But we still need to hurry if we want to make the plane ride.”

“We’re coming, we’re coming. It’s not like we’re going to be late, Lima Bean,” Louis answered back breezily, not at all concerned for the flight. 

Well, it turns out that they were almost late. The twelve of them had run to the plane, being the very last people to get on. The plane took off ten minutes later.

***

After an excruciating plane ride, they finally landed in London, which had been a great relief. 

The ride over had been a nightmare to put it lightly. The first issue had started when Allie had gotten on the plane and had started getting nervous, true to her word. She had put up a fight, claiming that she wasn’t going and would just spend the holidays alone in LA instead. That of course had caused Freddie to start making fun of her, which in turn made the small girl mad. The two had ended up in a pushing match that Louis and Harry had had to seperate. 

The next event was when Robbie’s ears popped on the way up and he had started crying. And as hard as Harry tried to keep him quiet, he just kept crying and saying that they hurt and he wanted to go home. That had been followed up closely by Christie’s ears also popping and her starting to whine about it, much to Gigi’s annoyance. 

Zayn had then gone on a mini rant about how flying on a public plane had been a bad idea and that they should have taken a private jet. Despite being in first class, he still hadn’t been pleased when they were going on a normal plane. Louis had chimed into that as well. But Liam and Ollie argued that it was good for the kids to immerse themselves some more considering that they were growing up as millionaires anyways. 

Then to top things off, the entire plane ride had been a dance of washroom breaks. There wasn’t a time when somebody didn’t have to pee the entire time. 

So when they finally landed, Harry had been beyond relieved. 

Harry owned a few houses around the world. He had his main house in LA where he actually lived full-time with the twins. Then he had their London house, which was just as big but was more of a vacation house whenever they were living or visiting London. Then he had an apartment in New York where many celebrities lived. So he was glad that he owned a big London house that was big enough for all of them, since that was where they were staying. 

Yes, all twelve of them were going to be living inside one house for the next week. And Harry had no doubt in his mind that this was either a horrible decision or a great one. This week all together would either bring them closer or make them hate each other. 

He didn’t know which one it was, but he was kind of excited about the idea of living all together. It would kind of be like the X-Factor house when they all lived there back when the band had just been formed. Of course, there had been different people living with them and times had been different, but maybe it could work. 

  
Harry was hoping it would work, at least. 

The only issue that he could think of was… Louis. To say that the two of them had become closer was an understatement. Louis did not stop flirting with Harry ever… and Harry always matched the flirting right back. There were also, ahem, meetings where the two of them would sneak off to empty rooms or cars to make-out. Only Niall and Zayn knew about the meetings, but it was clear that the two of them had changed. 

It wasn’t like it was hard to notice either. Whenever they would be together, Harry and Louis were standing together. Whenever they were sitting, the two of them sat together. If they were walking down a street, Harry and Louis would walk together. They were nearly joined at the hip. 

It was like having a crush in high school. Louis would tease Harry senselessly, causing the curly haired lad to giggle and make fun of him back. Louis would flirt with Harry as well, which always made the younger blush furiously. They were constantly visiting each other’s houses, sometimes with their kids and sometimes alone for a ‘meeting.’

They were barely even trying to hide it, and it was only a matter of time before people started to piece things together. Especially if they were going to be living together. 

***

“Well, here we are,” Harry said as he opened the door to his London house, revealing the inside. It was quite big, probably even bigger than his house in LA. The difference was that that one was more modern, while the London house was older and more victorian. But still, it was big and beautiful. 

Louis stepped foot in the house, lugging his and Freddie’s bags with him. He looked around the place, letting out a low whistle. “Damn, Styles,” he said, eyeing up the house, impressed. “Really living up to your last name, aren’t ya?”

Harry smiled, biting the inside of his cheek. “I guess so,” he replied, walking in and making room for the others to walk in as well. 

“Harry, this is beautiful!” Gigi squealed, her eyes widening at the house. “It’s so fancy and posh and big. It’s going to be so pretty once we decorate it up for Christmas! Come look at it, Zaynie! Isn’t it pretty?”

Zayn nodded, shooting Harry a smile as he squeezed his fiancee’s hand in response. “Nice,” he said simply. 

Harry shot him a smile. “Anyways, there’s five bedrooms and then a pull-out couch in the living room that we can divide up. I was thinking maybe we could give the two smallest rooms to the kids to share, like Freddie and Robbie and Bear in one and then Allie and Christle in another. Then we can just split up the other three rooms.”

“Yay!” Robbie shouted, spinning around on his heel to face Freddie and Bear, his face breaking out into a huge smile. “I get to share with you guys!”

“Yay! I don’t have to share with Freddie!” Allie exclaimed, sounding just as excited as her brother. She then reached over to Christle and wrapped an arm around her (with much difficulty since she was much smaller than the older girl.) “We’re gonna have so much fun!” She whispered excitedly. 

Niall shrugged. “I can take the couch,” he said easily, already picking up his bags and heading towards the couch area. “I mean, I usually sleep on the pull-out couch when I’m here anyways. Haz and his super soft mattresses just don’t work for me like you people.”

Harry nodded as his best friend walked out of the room. “Okay then, so,” he then looked at everyone else. Zayn, Gigi, Liam, Ollie, Louis. Three bedrooms. He frowned as realization struck him. “Wait…”

“So I guess we can go find our room,” Gigi said, grabbing her fiancee's hand and tugging him towards the huge spiral staircase that led to the bedrooms. “Where do you want us, Harry?”

Liam nodded, him and Ollie also grabbing their own bags into their hands. “Yeah? Where should we go?” Liam asked. “We can go unpack our stuff now so that it’s not in the way.”

Three bedrooms. Six people. Zayn and Gigi, Liam and Ollie, Louis and… Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no. Harry was in trouble now. 

And Allie seemed to be the one to realize it first. She looked at Harry, then over to Louis. “Daddy?” She asked, poking her father in the side. “Are you and Lou gonna have another sleepover?” Harry’s head snapped down to the small girl, opening his mouth to reply but not finding the words. Everyone else looked over at them. 

“Um- oh,” Louis said, faltering as realization dawned on him as well. He looked up to Harry with wide eyes. “I didn’t- well, erm, I mean- that’s-” He was barely even saying words anymore, just stammering random syllables. 

“Well, uh,” Harry said, swallowing thickly. His eyes darted up to meet Louis’ chewing on his bottom lip. On one hand, sleeping in the same bed as Louis sounded wrong on so many levels. Many people would agree that it is a bad idea to get in a bed with your ex. On the other hand, it wasn’t like it was something strange. They had shared a bed for five years, then had slept on the couch together recently. And they make-out together as well. “I mean, if you have a problem with it…”

“No!” Louis nearly shouted, before snapping his mouth shut. Harry’s eyes snapped up to him in surprise, while everyone else just raised their eyebrows. Louis swallowed nervously, licking his lips. “I mean- erm, I don’t have, uh, I don’t have a problem with anything. Do you… do you have a problem with it?”

Harry sucked in a breath, shaking his head. “No, I… no problems here,” he said, his voice seeming to tremble a little as he said it. He just hoped and prayed that no one else in the room could hear the way his heart was beating against his ribcage like a drum. 

“So we’re…” Louis said, motioning between the two of them, leaving the question hanging in the air silently. “We’re gonna, um, share the room?”

“As long as you’re fine with it,” Harry responded hastily. 

Louis nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant but failing. “And, um, you’re good with it too?”

Harry also tried his best to look natural and try to get the image of him and Louis sharing a bed out of his mind so that he could focus on not sounding like an idiot. “I’m good- great. Not great. I mean, I’m not, not great. I just mean that it’s cool. You’re fine- alright. You’re alright. And I am too. I mean, erm- yeah.”

So much for that. 

Louis looked at him with a raised eyebrow, looking skeptical and causing Harry to mentally slap himself. “Um… okay then?” He said slowly. “Well, since we have that figured out… Do you wanna go put the bags upstairs?”

Harry nodded, feeling his face start to burn. “Yeah,” he said hastily. “You can go up, I’ll just show everyone else where their rooms are…” Honestly, he just needed an excuse to pull himself together. 

But as he turned around, he realized that everyone had left already. Even the kids had gone upstairs, which meant that Allie and Robbie had most likely already shown them to their rooms. So it was just Harry and Louis, with nothing else to do but go upstairs to their room. The one they would be sharing. 

***

It was much later in the night that Harry finally realized that it was time to face his problems, and the thought of it made his heart beat wildly. It was nearing midnight, and the adults had been watching a Christmas movie for the past little while. It was Die Hard (if that could be considered a Christmas movie) and it had gone long into the night. 

Until Liam had started getting tired. Then he and Ollie went off to bed. Then Gigi got tired, so she headed up as well. It was then only the four of them; Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn. They then finished the movie, before Niall got tired. Then he pretty much kicked the rest of them off of the couch so that he could sleep. Zayn then headed off to join Gigi, leaving it just Harry and Louis. 

Louis cleared his throat. “Do you… do you wanna head up?” He offered after a long moment of the two of them just standing in the hallway. 

Harry actually would have headed up a long time ago if he had been willing. He was exhausted and ready to collapse into his bed. But he had held off and kept himself awake so that he could avoid the bedroom situation for a little bit longer. In retrospect, he probably should have gone to bed earlier and left Louis, then they wouldn’t have the awkward tension since he would be asleep. 

He swallowed, his heart picking up again. “Sure,” he answered back, his voice shaking just a little in anticipation. 

The two of them headed up the stairs, before walking down the hall together. They then rounded the corner into their bedroom. It was a pretty big bedroom, with a huge bed. It made the whole thing a little better knowing that they had space, but the room just felt smaller when there was so much tension taking up the space. And the bed felt so much smaller when there were two of them. 

Harry’s nervousness must have shown on his face, because Louis stopped when they got to the doorway of the bedroom. “You know,” he started carefully. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m sure there’s an extra mattress in this gigantic house of yours that I could sleep on.”

Harry looked over at him in surprise, before shaking his head. “No, Louis. You don’t have to do that,” he said quietly. “It’s really fine. I mean, it’s not like it’s the first time or anything. We shared the couch not that long ago and that’s much smaller.”

“Still though, we don’t have to do this,” Louis clarified. “Sharing a bed… it’s different than sharing a couch…”

“I’m fine with it,” the twenty four year old said with a shrug. “But if you don’t want to do this, I can go sleep on the other couch or something. I really don’t mind…”

Louis smiled softly at him. “You’re sweet. This is your house- no way you would be the one sleeping on the couch,” he said. “And I’m fine with it as long as you are. I just wanted to make sure you were sure before we climb into bed together.”

Harry smiled at that, feeling a light blush coat his cheeks. Really, the other man was being so sweet and considerate, especially since they were just sleeping on the same mattress for convenience. “I’m good then,” he said softly. “And tired. I wanna sleep now.”

The twenty six year old chuckled a little. Even in the dark, Harry could see the way his blue eyes crinkled and brightened like it always did when he smiled. “Okay then, Hazza,” he murmured. 

Thankfully, they were both already dressed in their pajamas, so Harry just hopped onto the mattress and crawled over to the sheets. Since they were now in London and not in LA anymore, the heavy, soft blankets were warm and welcoming against the cold weather. The curly haired singer pushed back the blankets and crawled under them, sighing and he wiggled around. 

Louis laughed lightly as he also walked over. He pulled back the blankets as well, climbing in. He also made sure to put some distance between the two of them. It was sweet, but not entirely wanted on Harry’s part. Louis reached over to the bedside lamp on his side and flicked it off. The two of them were then plunged into darkness. The only thing Harry could see was the soft outline of Louis’ face a few inches away from him. 

Harry was tired. He was exhausted. He was ready to sleep. But for some reason, his body didn’t seem to get the memo. His mind was still whirling and his heart was still beating wildly inside of his chest. He just could not sleep for some reason. Louis’ couldn’t either, by the sound of his breathing. Harry knew what Louis’ breathing sounded like when he was sleeping off by heart, and that wasn’t it. 

Without a warning, Harry then shifted even closer to Louis, until they were just barely grazing one another. Louis’ breath hitched. “Hey Lou?” Harry whispered into the darkness, turning his head to look over at the man. 

“Yeah?” Louis whispered back, looking over at him in response. 

Harry then leant upward until their faces were just a millimeter apart. Louis didn’t move, but his breath was moving faster now. “Goodnight, Lou,” he said softly, before leaning in. He pressed their lips together gently, for a soft and gentle kiss. 

It only lasted a few seconds before they pulled away again. “Goodnight Harry,” he said breathlessly. 

Harry went to sleep that night with a smile on his face, and slept through the entire night. Which wasn’t actually too surprising, all things considered. He always did sleep better when he was next to Louis. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now go read Worth Fighting For by Bumble_Bee_Be. I promise you will not be disappointed. She’s an amazing writer and person, so go show her some love. <3
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.... this one is basically just fluff. So if you’re looking for angst, just come back for the next chapters. But this one is sweet. 
> 
> Also, thanks so much to Talia who helped me write this one when I was stuck. Go read all of her work @ Bumble_Bee_Be. It’s amazing. 
> 
> Also, sorry I couldn’t respond to some of the comments on my last chapter. I just ran out of time and I’ve been so busy, but I read them all. Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and supporting me along the way. Love you all <3
> 
> Okay, now onto the story!!

That morning, Harry woke up to something he had never imagined waking up to ever again. 

“Harry…” A voice whispered while someone shook him lightly by the shoulders. Harry, still half asleep, groaned a little as he slowly started waking up. “Hazza… time to get up… come on, Harry…” It felt familiar, like he was waking up from sleep and falling straight into a dream. It was familiar and nice. 

Harry blinked groggily as he slowly seemed to come back from sleep. The lighting in the room was bright, sunlight shining in from the outside and causing him to squint his eyes in response to it. He reached a hand up to his face to rub his eyes in an effort to wake himself up. His body was reluctant to wake up, since that had definitely been the best he'd slept in a long time, but he slowly started resurfacing to the land of the living. 

“Hmm,” he groaned as he blinked his eyes open. The first thing he saw was what seemed to be an angel hovering over him. It was Louis, smiling at him with the sun behind his head, making him look like he had been sent down from heaven just to wake Harry. 

Louis smiled once he saw that Harry had woken. “Hey sleepyhead,” he said softly, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he smiled at the younger man. It only made him look even prettier. “I was starting to wonder if you’d ever wake up.”

Harry smiled in response, closing his eyes. “Hi Lou,” he said softly, his voice still hoarse and groggy from his sleep. “Good morning.”

“Good morning yourself, love. God, I forgot how much you look like a kitten when you wake up” Louis answered back gently, smiling at the younger man. Harry blushed a little, a light shade of pink decorating his cheeks. “Anyways, Liam and Gigi decided to make breakfast for everyone and I think it’s ready, so I decided to wake you up and see if you wanted some.”

Harry could smell the food from the bedroom, and it smelt delicious. But the bed was just so warm and soft, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get up even for food. “Hmm, what about if we just stayed here in bed instead?” The twenty four year old suggested, snuggling into the pillows. 

“As nice as that sounds, I don’t think Niall would approve of us staying up here any longer,” Louis said with a raised eyebrow. “Pretty sure he came in here last night and tried to smother me with a pillow in my sleep.”

“Actually, that was probably just me trying to stop your snoring before you woke the whole house,” the younger teased playfully, poking Louis in the ribs in response. 

Louis jolted back, shooting him a glare. “Oi! I do not snore!” He exclaimed indignantly, reaching over to jab Harry in his stomach as well, causing the curly haired man to giggle. “If anything it’s you who kept the whole house awake with all of your sleep talking.”

Harry pouted playfully. “Oh yeah?” He asked, his green emerald eyes twinkling. “And what was I talking about?”

Louis paused for a moment, pretending to think. “Hmm,” he said, tapping his chin with his finger. “Now as I recall, I think it was something about the food that Gi and Lima Bean are cooking up downstairs and how much you wanted to go downstairs and get some…”

“I would never,” Harry answered back, raising his eyebrows. “Pretty sure it was more like you being a bed hog and taking my blankets.”

“Come on, Hazza! I’m hungry!” Louis whined, jutting his bottom lip out as he tugged Harry into a seated position on the bed. “Come get food with me so that I’m not the only one who slept in. Come on, Hazza.”

Harry rolled his eyes. He had forgotten how childish Louis could be when it came to food. “Only if you carry me,” he joked, rolling his eyes. 

He had been joking, of course. He didn’t actually mean it. But then again, he also didn’t complain when Louis sprung from the bed and crouched down for Harry to get on his back. He also didn’t put up a fight when Louis piggy-backed him down to the kitchen table. And he didn’t even notice the glances from the other adults. 

***

The next activity had been a family favourite for everyone. Skating. Well, that was everyone except for Gigi and Harry, who weren’t able to stay on their feet for more than ten seconds. But everyone else loved it, so they packed up their things and headed off to the outdoor rink. 

“Hurry up, daddy,” Allie whined as Harry worked to tie up her shoes. She had a small frown on her face, her cheeks and nose already red from the cold. “Look, Freddie and Bear are already skating! I wanna go!”

“I know, I know, love. I’m almost done tieing them,” the curly haired singer replied as he finished lacing up her small, left skate. “There, done. Now before you go out, just remember to stick close to uncle Niall and don’t go too fast. You don’t want to fall over.”

“I won’t fall daddy. I know how to skate,” the girl said, rolling her eyes as she hopped to her feet with ease. She then balanced easily on the thin blades, before starting to waddle towards the rink. “But maybe you can get uncle Niall to help you?” She suggested, calling back before heading off again. 

Harry blinked in surprise at that comment. He heard someone chuckling behind him. “That little angel is starting to get a little sassy now, isn’t she?” Gigi commented, stumbling towards Harry on her own skates. “She isn’t so sweet and innocent anymore.”

“I don’t think she even knows what she’s doing,” defended Harry, turning around and wobbling unsteadily on his own skates. He refused to believe that his precious, innocent baby girl was being sassy on purpose. After all, she was a sweetheart on the inside and he knew that for a fact. 

But Gigi just raised her eyebrows. “Oh please, every kid goes through this. Christle has been going through her sassy phase for the past few months,” she stated. “Plus, your daughter is a Tomlinson.”

“Allie would never. Besides, what does her last name have to do with anything?” The curly haired man asked as a small frown appeared on his face. 

“You know,” the model relied with a shrug. “Sass master from Doncaster or something. She’s got half of that sass running in her blood.”

It was at that moment that Louis walked over to them, having just finished tying up Robbie’s laces. He walked over to them with ease, balancing on his own two skates easily. There wasn’t even the slightest wobble in his step as he sauntered over to them. “Talking about me?” He asked lightly, his eyes twinkling a little. 

Harry rolled his eyes as a smile tugged at his lips. “Never,” he answered back. “We have much more important things to talk about.” 

“Lies. For one, I’m one hundred percent sure I heard the words ‘sass master from Doncaster’ which is pretty much my middle name. Two, there’s nothing more important,” the older man said, raising gay eyebrows. “No one likes a liar, Styles.”

“You’re so full of yourself,” the curly haired man said, just as he seemed to almost lose his balance. Thankfully, he somehow managed to catch his footing. Louis’ and darted out to steady his elbow, while also watching amused. “Erm, wanna help me?” Harry asked shyly, looking up at Louis with big eyes. 

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Because you can’t skate?” He teased playfully. Harry pouted, smacking him on the arm in response. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” The older laughed in response, his voice ringing out. 

Harry just pouted. “Meanie,” he commented. “Maybe I’ll just get Niall to come help me instead.” 

It was an empty threat and they both knew it. Harry had always loved Louis helping him skate. He liked how, whenever he always felt like he was falling, Louis would be there to grab his waist and keep him upright. Maybe even spin him around or kiss him in the middle of the rink. It had always been romantic. Not that that was what Harry wanted to happen here…

But Louis still shook his head hastily at those words. “No no, I’ll do it. I like helping you,” he said quickly before Harry could even think about asking Niall instead. “Maybe this time you’ll actually remember something.”

“Meanie,” the curly haired man said again, giggling a little. “Now come on, I wanna go skate!” 

“Alright then Bambi,” Louis said, using the nickname he always used for Harry when they went skating. It was basically just because Harry looked like a baby deer learning to walk when he skated. And he tended to fall over a lot. Not entirely a flattering nickname, but it was kinda cute too. He held out his hand for Harry to take. “Let’s go then.”

Harry smiled, reaching his hand out to grab onto his hand as well. Immediately he felt safer in his arms. “Don’t let me fall,” he warned cautiously as Louis and him started walking towards the rink. 

“I never do,” Louis answered back easily, one arm holding onto Harry’s mittened hand while the other wrapped around his body to brace his waist. Harry looked over at him, biting his lip as he smiled a little. “Now come on, Hazza. Let’s go show them how it’s done.”

***

Next had been one of the all-time favourite traditions (after skating, of course). Decorating for the Holidays. 

They split off into groups to tackle each of the main tasks for getting the house ready for Christmas. Liam, Freddie, Allie and Niall had left to go get the tree. Niall had claimed that they were going to go chop it down themselves, but Liam had argued that that was illegal. So the four of them ended up hopping in the van and driving off to the nearest tree lot to pick out one, which may take a while since Freddie and Allie were going and God knows that the two of them would never agree on one easily. 

Gigi had then claimed that she was going off to the store to buy new decorations, because most of the ones at the house were old since Harry’s good ones were all in LA. So she had said that it wouldn’t be Christmas without good decor. Louis decided to go with her shopping to ‘tone down the sparkle,’ or something. Harry knew better and knew that Louis probably just wanted to buy some fairy lights for the house. So the two of them headed off. 

Ollie and Bear then started wrapping presents to put under the tree. Well, they were doing that, until Bear had a little breakdown claiming that his present for Liam wasn’t good enough. Ollie had tried to assure him that it was fine, and that Liam would love whatever the boy got for him, but Bear wasn’t consoled. So the two of them left for some last minute shopping. 

Then it was just the four of them left in the house; Harry, Zayn, Robbie and Christle. So they decided to start one of Harry’s personal favourite Christmas traditions, baking and decorating Christmas cookies! It wasn’t one of the usual Christmas activities, he knew that. But he loved to do it. There wasn’t anything better than baking cookies while blasting Christmas songs on the speaker, in Harry’s opinion. 

So that’s what they did. 

“ _ IIIIIII… _ .” Robbie sang as the song started, a wooden spoon clutched in his hand like a microphone. “ _ Don’t want a lot of Christmas! There is just one thing I need. Don’t care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree!” _

Harry smiles gently at the little boy as he mixes the cookie batter, humming along softly to the lyrics and letting Robbie take the lead. He quickly gets lost in it, setting down the batter and picking up Robbie, spinning him round the kitchen as they both sing the song. He whirls Robbie around and the little boy giggles even as Harry settles him on his hip, swaying and bouncing to the song.

Zayn watches his friend with his son as Christle takes over mixing the dough. Harry looks  _ happy _ . He really does. He always wanted kids. More specifically- he always wanted kids  _ with Louis _ . And maybe it didn’t happen exactly as they hoped or planned, but here Harry is, spinning and singing with a mini-Louis and looking on top of the world. 

Robbie shrieks as Harry suddenly tickles his sides, batting at his father’s hands and giggling uncontrollably. Harry’s heading for the living room, bouncing and tickling Robbie as he goes, screaming  _ Last Christmas _ at the top of his lungs. Robbie’s gaze darts around, looking for help, and finally lands on Zayn.

“Zaynie!” the toddler shrieks, reaching a hand out towards the man. “Help meeeeeeee!” Zayn smiles softly, chuckling. “Zaynieeeeeee!” Christle lets out an irritable sigh.

“Go on Papa, I’ll take care of everything here,” she says, with a small air of superiority. She got that from Gigi. Well, Zayn claims it’s from Gigi. Either way, Zayn laughs and kisses his daughter’s head. 

“Zaynnnnnnnn!” Robbie giggles again, from the living room this time. 

“Don’t worry, Robbie!” He calls as he heads for the couch, where Harry has Robbie pinned, attacking his tummy with raspberries as the little boy shrieks and giggles, squirming and red in the face. He clearly adores it as much as Harry does, but he’s asked for help and Zayn wouldn’t be a very good uncle if he left him hanging. 

Harry squeals when there’s suddenly arms around his waist, lifting him up. Robbie cries out triumphantly as he wriggles from Harry’s grasp, giggling and smiling widely at Zayn. Harry squirms in the older man’s arms, but to no avail. 

“I can’t believe you betrayed me!”Harry cries, pouting as he stops moving. Zayn lets out a laugh, then looks over to Robbie. 

“Whaddya say Robbie? You want your revenge?” Zayn asks, eyes glinting mischievously. Robbie smirks and he has never looked more like Louis than right then. 

“You’re my favorite uncle now Zaynie,” Robbie says solemnly. Zayn laughs brightly and Harry pouts. “Get Daddy!!!” At the order, Zayn drops Harry back on the couch, straddling the younger man’s waist before he can get away.

“Have at him, lad,” Zayn laughs. Robbie giggles, an evil, very Tomlinson look in his eyes as he jumps on his dad’s chest, tickling his side in that way little kids do, more poking than really tickling. 

“This isn’t fair!” Harry whines as he laughs despite himself. “I’m being ganged up on!” Robbie stops his attack, looking down at his dad.

“You started this daddy. I just got help.” Harry sighs, shaking his head fondly at the little boy. Then his hands are coming up to grab Robbie, tickling his sides once again. Robbie shrieks, squirming away and jumping off the curly-headed man, huffing irritably. Zayn grabs Harry’s wrists, pinning them to the cushion above his head. He looks over at RObbie questioningly, asking permission to take his revenge for him. 

“Robbie, no,” Harry says, twisting his head to look at his son, hamming it up for the little boy’s entertainment. “Don’t do this to me!” Robbie smiles evilly. 

“Get him Zaynie!” Zayn grins down at Harry, holding his wrists with one hand and tickling his sides. Even after over five years, Harry’s still ticklish in the same spots and Zayn zeroes in on them quickly until Harry’s a squirming and giggling mess under him.

And that’s how Louis walks in on them.

With Zayn straddling a writhing Harry, tickling him mercilessly as Robbie watches, giggling happily.

“What the hell?” Louis demanded, setting down the box of fairy lights in his hand and marching forward to tear Zayn off Harry, who sighs in relief, red in the face. But his relief soon ends, while his eyes widen suddenly. Louis looked mad. Like, very mad. 

The laughter in the room died immediately. “Uh oh,” Robbie mumbled, skipping away to the doorway to the kitchen where Christle stands with Gigi now. 

“Maybe we should give them a minute,” Gigi hums, shepherding the kids back into the kitchen. She knows how Louis gets when jealous and this probably isn’t something the kids should be there for. 

“Boys,” Christle sighs with a roll of her eyes as they go back to the cookie making area. Gigi grins at her daughter. The three of them head out of the room, leaving just the men in the living room together.

Louis threw Zayn onto the ground, his eyes narrowing at the dark haired man. “What the fuck,” he snapped, his voice low enough so that the kids couldn’t hear, but still just as deadly. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Zayn frowned, his eyebrows scrunching together. “Piss off,” he snapped back, trying to push Louis’ hands off of him. But Louis just shoved him right back so that he couldn’t get up. “Louis. Stop.”

“No,” Louis growled, his fist pressing into the other man’s chest to keep him there. He was pissed. Like, the kind of angry that made you start to consider the possibility that people really could rip off limbs. The scary kind of angry. “What the hell do you think you were doing, Malik?”

Zayn rolled his eyes at his friend. “We were having a tickle war, you idiot. Me, Harry and Robbie. Now get the hell off of me, Tomlinson,” he growled back. 

“A tickle war?” Scoffed the twenty eight year old, his eyes narrowing even more as he seethed. “That’s not what it looked like to me!”

Harry’s eyes widened at the tone coming from Louis. He didn’t remember the last time he had sounded this mad. It was probably when they had been at the bar and some guy had started grinding on Harry. Only this time, it was directed at Zayn, who he was almost never this angry at. He could tell that they were going into dangerous territory as Zayn also started to look angry. The two of them pissed could only end badly. 

Harry sat up, reaching forward to grab onto Louis’ arm that wasn’t being used to pin Zayn on the ground. “Louis,” he said desperately, tugging on his arm. “Louis, stop.”

“Like hell I will!” the older snapped back, not even turning to look Harry’s way, another sign of how angry he was. He was more focused on Zayn, who appeared to be getting angry as well.

Zayn tried to shove him off. “Let me go, asshole!” He growled angrily. 

“Louis, stop it. Let him go,” Harry argued, trying to pull Louis away. But Louis didn’t budge. The younger stood up behind him and wrapped an arm around him, trying to pull him away from the other man. “Please Louis, stop. You’re overreacting. It was nothing. We were just having fun and you walked in on a bad time.” 

Louis didn’t say anything. Really, he didn’t give any indication that he had even heard Harry. He just stayed, seething as he pinned Zayn on the ground. But Harry knew that he had heard him from the expression on his face. He then gently wrapped his arms around him and tried to gently pry him away. “Louis,” he said softly. “Come on, Lou.”

At that, Louis finally let go of Zayn with a huff, stepping away. He was still angry, clearly, but at least now he wasn’t pinning his best friend to the ground anymore. Harry smiled at him. “Thanks,” he said softly. His eyes flickered down to Zayn, subtly nodding towards the other room. The dark haired man rolled his eyes, but got off the ground and headed out of the room nonetheless, leaving the two of them alone. 

Once they were alone, Louis huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. He was looking at Harry with an unimpressed expression. It made Harry roll his eyes. 

“Oh come on, Lou,” he said, unbothered, nudging the older man lightly. “We were just having fun with the kids. You just walked in at the wrong time. Nothing was going on and you know it, you’re just being stubborn.”

Louis pursed his lips, his brows creasing in the middle of his forehead. “‘M not stubborn,” he mumbled under his breath, looking away. 

Harry raised his eyebrows in response. “Yeah, sure,” he answered back, sarcastically. “You just pinned Zayn onto the ground for no reason at all. Don’t tell me that you aren’t being stubborn after that.”

“It wasn’t for no reason,” he muttered back, but his resolve was weakening as he started coming back to his senses. “I didn’t like that he was… you know.”

Harry bit back a smile that was tugging at his lips, as his heart began to race. Louis was jealous. The thought made Harry feel giddy all of a sudden. There wasn’t anything hotter than a jealous or protective Louis. But he bit back his smile, trying to hide his excitement. 

Harry took a step forward, reaching up to wrap his arms around Louis’ neck and pressing them closer. “You need to lighten up,” he commented, his eyes twinkling at Louis’. “Get more in the Christmas spirit.”

Louis’ breath hitched a little, his hands going down to barely graze Harry’s hips. “I am in the Christmas spirit. Haven’t you noticed that I’ve spent the past few hours looking for all the latest decorations with Gigi for the past two hours?” He responded. “I just don’t like when Zayn was…”

“Touching me?” Harry supplied, raising his eyebrows mischievously. Louis hesitated, before slowly nodding his head. “Yeah, well maybe you should then.”

“I should…” Louis said slowly, his breath seeming to be more shallow as his voice rumbled lowly. He swallowed thickly, his hands unconsciously tightening their hold on Harry just a little. “Touch you?”

But before Harry had the chance to reply, there was the small sound of the oven beeping in the kitchen. It drew them both back to reality, blinking a few times. Harry smiled, letting go of Louis’ neck and taking a step back. “The cookies are done,” he said, walking backwards while Louis just blinked in shock. “I better go get them before they burn.”

He then walked out, leaving a very flustered and confused Louis in the living room alone, while Harry left with a smirk on his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is kinda long. and I wrote it instead of sleeping. so maybe not my finest work. but whatever. 
> 
> warning, potential adult themes. things might get a little ~spicy~ you have been warned.

Harry rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, getting flour onto it. It itched and tickled a little bit at the feeling, but he managed to hold back a sneeze. After all, he was busy cooking breakfast and he did not want to get it on the food. After all, it would have been a disaster if he needed to start all over again after all that hard work. 

He had woken up extra early, which was extremely early for him. It was probably five in the morning when he had gotten out of bed, prying himself out of Louis’ grip, and snuck downstairs. He had then proceeded to start making breakfast, which had been a whole ordeal of its own, and had probably taken Harry an hour and a half of straight cooking. 

The first thing he had made was the classic pancakes, of course. It was Louis’ favourite breakfast for as long as Harry had known him, and it also happened to be the twins’ favourite breakfast too. He could have finished it there and called it a day. But oh no, Harry was not finished there. He then proceeded to make eggs, bacon, sausage, salad, a fruit bowl, toast, avocado slices, potato hash browns and dried tomatoes for the side. And that wasn’t even including setting the table, getting the drinks set up and cleaning up. 

All in all, the entire process had taken him about two hours. But it was all going to be worth it. Because today was December 24- Christmas Eve. Or otherwise known as Louis’ birthday. And Harry was determined to make everything special, even if it meant two hours of hard work. 

He was just placing the finished pancakes into the oven to keep them warm, when he heard the sound of several pairs of little feet thumping down the stairs. It was followed by five little heads running into view; Freddie, Bear, Christle, Allie and Robbie, all running into the kitchen. 

“We smell food,” Christle hummed, shuffling in, dressed in her pink kitten pajama set and rubbing her eye. She looked tired- most likely having been awoken by the other kids. “Breakfast?”

Harry smiled at them, nodding his head and rubbing the flour off of his nose. “Yep,” he said, whispering. “I made everyone breakfast this morning.”

“Yum, yum, yum!” Robbie exclaimed, looking much more awake than Christle. He had probably actually been one of the kids to wake her up. His eyes narrowed in on the oven, widening at the smell coming off of it. “Pancakes?!” He nearly squealed in excitement. 

“Shh!” Harry whispered at them, sensing the kids’ excitement start to bubble at the mention of pancakes. “Your parents are still sleeping, remember?”

“Yeah, my mommy and daddy are still sleeping,” Christle responded, frowning at the other kids. “I don’t wanna wake them up. My daddy isn’t very happy when he gets woked up. My mommy says it’s cuz he needs his beauty sleep.”

Allie wrinkled her nose. “Why does he need sleep to make him pretty? I don’t need it,” she answered back, swishing her hair in a way that made Harry roll his eyes half heartedly. 

“Yeah right,” Freddie stated, actually rolling his eyes and nudging the other girl with his elbow. He looked up at Harry. “Can we eat now please?”

Harry hummed. “Are you guys hungry?” He asked. They all nodded their heads in unison, bobbing them up and down. “Alright then, how about we go get your parents first? You go wake them up and then we can all come down here and eat together, yeah?”

“You mean be sneaky?” Bear whispered, his eyes widening comically. “Like we’re spies?”

The curly haired man nodded. “Just like spies,” he answered back, biting back a smile. “Now go on so we can eat!”

The kids then proceeded to scurry off, prompted by both the idea of getting to be sneaky and wake their parents up, as well as the luring smell of pancakes and bacon coming from the kitchen that they wanted to eat. But whatever the reason, the three of them hurried out of the room to scramble up the stairs. It just left Allie and Robbie standing there, both with a frown on their faces. 

“What do we do, daddy?” Robbie asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Do we get to go be spies too?” 

Allie nodded in response to her brother. “Yeah, I wanna wake someone up too,” she added, a small frown tugging at her lips. 

It was kind of nothing. There wasn’t really any deep meaning behind their words, just that they were little kids who wanted to pretend to be spies just like the other kids. But it made Harry frown nonetheless. It was always the little things that got to him, that made him somehow feel bad for being a single parent. It was really nothing, and the kids probably didn’t even care that much. But all Harry could think about was how the other kids got to go wake up their parents while Harry couldn’t give them the same. 

Again, it was the little things. 

“Um,” he said, brushing it off and plastering a smile onto his face. “Why don’t you go get uncle Niall? I think he’s still sleeping on the couch in the room over there. But I have to warn you, he might be snoring pretty loudly.”

Robbie giggled at that, nodding his head. “He  _ always  _ snores!” He exclaimed. But he grabbed his sister’s hand nonetheless, and the two of them ran out of the room, giggling as they hurried into the living room to go wake up Niall. He knew that the blond man never got up this early, but he also knew that he’d make an exception for the twins. And for the food, of course. 

Once they ran out of the room, Harry started getting the plates out. He knew that the kids were all going to want pancakes, so he started getting those plates ready for them. He figured that the adults could get their own and just choose what they wanted. 

He placed the plates on the table. He thanked god that he had invested in a huge table that could fit all of them, because between the twelve of them, they really did take up a lot of space. He even bought a whole bench that took up one of the long sides of the table. He placed the kids’ plates there for them to sit. 

He was just setting down the last of their plates, when two hands grabbed him by the hips and tugged him back against another body. Harry smiled, biting onto his lower lip as his back hit the other’s chest and abs. “Hey Lou,” he smiled quietly. 

“You’re an angel,” Louis answered back, his chin coming down to rest on Harry’s shoulder. He then turned his face into Harry’s neck, which made the younger giggle a little. “You’re an actual angel. You didn’t have to do this, Haz.”

“It’s your birthday,” Harry responded, a breathless laugh escape his mouth when he felt Louis press a light kiss to the side of his neck. “And I wanted to.”

Louis hummed, his chest vibrating from where he was pressed against Harry’s back, his arms wrapped themselves around his waist from behind. “You’re perfect,” he mumbled, sighing. He sounded tired, probably having been fast asleep when Freddie had awoken him. “Can I have a kiss?”

Harry swallowed. “What about Freddie? Didn’t he come down here with you?” He wondered, his eyes scanning the room without having to move from the other man’s hold. 

“Washroom,” Louis answered back, pressing another butterfly kiss to his neck. His beard was scruffy against Harry’s skin, and it tickled in a good way. “And he’s probably gonna take a few minutes. Sometimes he misses and then has to clean it up. That buys some time.”

“He pees on the seat?” Harry repeated, his nose wrinkling. “Ew, Louis. Way to kill the vibe.”

The older man lets out a ringing laugh at that, his arms tightening around him. “Sorry about that, love,” he said, laughing still. “Didn’t mean to ruin the moment. Now can I please have a kiss?”

“I don’t know if I can kiss you after that,” the curly haired man teased, shaking his head slowly as he smirked. “I mean, you literally were just talking about your son peeing all over my washroom. I think we should go back to that.”

Louis groaned. “Come on, Haz. You’re killing me here,” he said, sounding pained. He then spun Harry around, so he was pinned between the table and Louis. Louis then pulled him closer. “Now gimme a kiss.”

“Consent,” Harry reminded him suddenly, causing Louis to pull back suddenly. A look of panic crossed his face, like he had done something wrong, and it made Harry smile. “Kidding. Now kiss me you fool,” he said, wrapping his own arms around the other’s neck. He then let himself be tugged closer again, before his lips were on Louis’. 

The two kissed just like that for a while, their lips moving together in perfect unison after years of practise. They knew each other’s mouths completely by now, but Harry still got the rush by kissing him. He pulled himself just a little bit closer, until they were plastered completely together. Louis slipped his leg in between Harry’s legs, pressing him against the table as they kissed. 

Harry was just starting to lose himself in the taste and feel of Louis, when he heard the sound of someone else coming down the stairs. He was about to just say ‘screw it’ and keep going at it, completely ignoring the consequences. But Louis pulled away first, before they got down the stairs. 

Good thing too, because it was Liam, Ollie and Bear coming down, closely followed by Freddie. “I got ‘em, uncle Harry!” Bear yelled as he walked down the stairs, holding onto Ollie’s hand as he did so. “So can we eat now?”

Harry quickly wiped his mouth, and tried to gather his composure again. But already he could see Ollie and Liam looking at him and Louis with an odd expression. He quickly cleared his throat. “Yep! Your plate’s right over there,” he said, pointing towards the plates lined up on the bench. 

“Oh my god, Harry,” Gigi said as she walked down, tying her satin housecoat around herself, eyeing all the food that was on the counters. She looked completely shocked, her eyes wide and her jaw dropping open a little. “Did you make all of this this morning?”

Harry nodded, his cheeks turning a little red. “Yeah,” he said softly. 

“This is amazing! It all looks so delicious!” She exclaimed, eyeing all of the food hungrily, already grabbing her own plate as she said it. “But it looks like so much work! I don’t know how you did this all this morning. You know, I could have helped if you wanted it!”

Zayn tucked his hand behind her waist. “Relax babe,” he said, chuckling a little as his fiancee seemed to be getting ahead of herself again. “You can do supper if you want. Maybe make us all some of your famous spicy vodka pasta if you want.”

“What’s vodka?” Robbie asked, wrinkling his nose in confusion as he walked in, closely followed by Allie and Niall. 

Niall snorted. “Nothing, bud. Now look over there! Your daddy made pancakes,” he said, distracting them easily. The twins’ eyes widened at the sight of the pancakes, immediately forgetting about everything else as they made a beeline for it. Harry sighed in relief at the close call. 

“This really does look amazing, Harry. Thanks a lot,” Ollie said, shooting him a smile. 

Harry shrugged. “It’s fine,” he said bashfully, looking down towards his feet. “Just something I wanted to do. It’s really not a big deal.”

Louis rolled his eyes, reaching over to pinch his hip and causing Harry to jump a little. “Stop being modest,” he said, raising his eyebrows as he took a step closer. He passed Harry a plate, while he wrapped his arm around his shoulders with his other arm. “It’s amazing, love. Now come on and get some food so we can all eat.”

Harry smiled, blushing as a faint pink colour flooded his cheeks. “Okay,” he smiled. 

***

Later that day, they had all decided to watch a movie together for a movie night. And, of course, they needed to choose a Christmas movie. It was Christmas Eve, of course. 

There was a lot of debate on which movie to watch. The twins wanted Frozen, of course, and kept insisting that it was a Christmas movie because it took place at winter. Gigi wanted Die Hard, which was kind of surprising. Freddie wanted A Christmas Carol, but only the muppets version. Zayn wanted to watch Home Alone, but Ollie disagreed with that because he didn’t like the part where he stepped on a nail (but really, why would anyone like that part?)

The only way they would ever watch a movie was if one person picked, since they would never agree. And naturally, since it was Louis’ birthday, he got to pick the movie. And, of course, he had chosen How The Grinch Stole Christmas. 

Harry smiled at him when he said that he had chosen that movie. When they had been younger, Harry and Louis would always cuddle up in their shared apartment and watch that movie together. It was their special Christmas tradition. Well, along with Harry dressing up in a bright red lingerie and- actually, Harry wasn’t going to go there. 

But the Grinch had always been something the two of them had always done together. And it was Christmas Eve. Only fitting for them to watch it together again. 

Harry settled down in the couch, and immediately the twins crawled over to him. Robbie sat himself directly in Harry’s lap, while Allie sat down next to him. The real surprise had been when Freddie also walked over and sat directly beside Allie, which confused Harry considering that the two of them didn’t get along. But he just passed it off after them finally getting over their stubbornness and getting along. Or it was just a Christmas miracle. 

Louis came and sat down beside Freddie as well so that the three kids were sandwiched in between him and Harry on the love seat. Just like a little family. 

Harry looked over at Louis as that thought crossed his mind. They did look like a family, all curled up on the couch together watching a Christmas movie. It made his heart swell. Louis looked over at him as well, reaching a hand across the back of the couch to grab onto Harry‘s. And he knew that they were both thinking the same thing. 

Harry smiled to himself as he grabbed onto Louis’ hand as well, and wrapped the other arm around his kids. Yes, they were a family. The thought made him happier than he had been in five years. 

***

By the end of the movie, everyone was getting tired. They had all shifted positions completely. The twins’ heads were tilted together, leaning in towards each other to form a small tent with their heads. Freddie was sprawled across all of them, his head in Louis’ lap while his feet rested on Harry’s thigh and the rest of his body lying overtop of the twins. Harry had moved closer to the middle of the couch, his head tilted towards Louis. Louis had also moved closer, his hand playing mindlessly with the other man’s curls. 

Everyone was tired and worn out by the time the movie was over, but the night wasn’t over yet. There was still one very important Christmas tradition that everyone looked forward to each and every year. 

Opening one Christmas present each. And every year it was the same thing: Christmas pajamas!

Harry actually loved this one. He had always done it as a kid, and then he had introduced it to the band. He and Louis also used to do it together every year. And then, once he had had the twins, he had done it with them too. Basically, Harry had always opened a pair of Christmas pajamas for as long as he could remember and he loved it with a passion. 

In his opinion, it wouldn’t be Christmas without it. 

He nudged the twins, who had started to doze off a little bit. But really who could blame them? It was late and they were still so young. Besides, they looked so cute sleeping. But they needed to wake up for this. “Come on loves, wake up,” he said gently. “Do you wanna open a present?”

Well, that woke them up. The two of them bolted up immediately, their eyes popping wide open. If there was anything that could wake up two sleeping kids, it was presents on Christmas. “Presents?” Robbie asked, his energy spiking right back up as he hopped off of the couch. 

Christle also jumped up from where she had started to doze off as well. “I wanna open a present!” She exclaimed as well. She turned around to look up at her parents pleadingly. “Mommy, daddy, can I please open a present too?”

Gigi smiled, leaning over to boop her daughter on the nose. “Of course you can, angel,” she said with a smile. “Everyone gets to open one present on Christmas eve, remember?”

“Yeah and they’re always pajamas,” Freddie added in. It wasn’t a secret or anything. Everyone already knew what they were going to get, but it didn’t mean it was any less exciting. So nobody minded that Freddie told everyone what it would be. 

Liam got up and headed towards the tree. Thinking ahead, they had stacked all of the presents for Christmas eve in one corner, so he just went over and picked them up from there. He handed one to each of them, until all twelve of them had a carefully wrapped present in their hands. 

Niall started to peel off a corner of the present once it was handed to him. He was just about to open it up, when Liam smacked him on the arm. “Ouch, what was that for?” Niall yelped, jumping at the contact. He turned to glare at Liam. 

“Kids first,” Liam stated with a raised eyebrow. 

Niall rolled his eyes at that, but placed the present down on the couch beside him. “Alright, alright,” he said. “Which of the kids are going first? Harry, why don’t you start us off, little lad.”

Harry pouted, reaching over to smack Niall as well. But Niall just grabbed him by the arm and yanked him over towards him. He then wrapped his arms around Harry’s body, pinning him there in a tight hug so that the younger man couldn’t move. Harry pouted. “Meanie,” he mumbled. 

Bear didn’t seem to want to wait any longer, so he just stood up and made a show of starting to peel open his present. So everyone stopped whatever they were doing to watch him do so. He didn’t waste any time in ripping the wrapping paper off. “Hey!” He exclaimed, a big smile appearing on his face. “Look! It’s Spiderman!”

He held up his pajama set, which sure enough was Spiderman themed. It was bright red with Spiderman’s mask on the front. The bottoms were flannel and red, with a bunch of small spiders and webs drawn onto them. And by the smile on his face, it was clear that he loved them. 

“I wanna go now! I wanna go now!” Allie exclaimed, grabbing her own present and starting to take the wrapping paper off. Which then led to Freddie wanting to do it as well, and of course then Robbie did too (he practically worshiped Freddie at this point.) And then Christle just went with the flow and opened her present as well. 

Allie had gotten a black Heartbreak Weather shirt, paired with some blue and white flannel pants (Niall had shopped for her pajamas, obviously.) Robbie had gotten a Walls concert shirt with some red plaid pants (Harry had gotten that after Robbie had pretty much spent the past few months streaming Walls nonstop.) Freddie had gotten a ‘Sassy Like My Dad’ shirt, which he had laughed about and put on immediately. And then Christle had gotten a Princess And The Frog pajama nightgown. 

“Yay!” Robbie exclaimed when he opened his present, his eyes widening. Louis’ eyes widened as well once he saw what it was. He glanced towards Harry, who was biting back a smile. “Look Lou! It’s you!” He exclaimed, running over to Louis to show him the shirt. 

“I see that, love,” he said, smiling at the boy in a way that made his eyes twinkle. Robbie ran over and sat right on his lap to show him the shirt. “Do you like it?”

The small boy nodded his head up and down. “Yes yes yes!” He said happily. “I’m gonna put it on right now!” The small boy didn’t even hesitate before jumping off and taking his shirt and pants off. He didn’t even bat an eye as he stripped down to put on the pajamas, causing Christle to yelp and cover her eyes like she had been scalded. 

“Well, I guess some things you just pass onto your kids, right H?” Zayn commented, raising an eyebrow. Harry just smirked in response. They all remembered living together at the X-Factor house, when Harry had no shame in going around naked. They all remembered it. Vividly. 

Bear hopped off of the couch as well and slipped on his pajama shirt right over his other one, having more dignity than Robbie. “I love it! Thanks daddy and papa!” He chirped happily. Ollie pressed a kiss onto his head. “Are you gonna open yours?”

“Well I certainly want to open mine!” Gigi said happily, holding up her present. She peeled it open delicately, probably so that she could save the wrapping paper for next year. She was rich, but still did things like that. She opened the box, to reveal a pair of cute baby pink silk pajamas. Her eyes widened at them. “Oh my god, they’re amazing! Thanks babe!”

She threw her arms around Zayn, who pressed a kiss to her head in response. “Of course, love,” he said happily, resting his chin against the top of her head. “I thought you’d like them.”

“I love them. They’re so cute!” She said happily, wrapping her arms around him. She then reached over to grab the present that was sitting beside her fiancee, and put it in his arms. “Open yours now!”

So then Zayn decided to open his present. He peeled back the wrapping paper carefully, not quite ripping it. He then put it aside, before holding up his pajamas. It was a pair of black plaid pants, along with a shirt that said ‘Zen.’ It was kinda weird, kinda cute, but he seemed to like it because he smiled nonetheless. “Thanks babe,” he said, leaning down to capture her lips in his. 

Allie wrinkled her nose as the two of them kissed. “Ew,” she commented in disgust, clapping a hand over her eyes. “Get a room.”

Niall barked out a laugh. “I’ve taught you well, young one,” he commented with a smile, while Harry rolled his eyes. If there was anywhere they learnt their comments from, it was Niall. “Now that we’re done with the lovebirds over there, I wanna open mine now!”

Niall opened his present, which was a pair of pajamas that Harry picked out. They were a pair of green flannels, with the words ‘Kiss Me I’m Irish’ on them. He was both unimpressed and pleased with them. Next Liam and Ollie opened theirs, which they got for one another. Theirs were matching, both with cute little bears and half hearts on them that made a full heart when they stood beside one another. It was sickeningly cute. 

Next Louis decided to open his present. Harry twiddled with his thumbs as he did so, somewhat nervously as he did so. He had picked out Louis’ pajamas this year, and he was a little nervous about it. Scratch that- very nervous about it. 

He watched as Louis opened the present, not caring too much about the wrapping paper. He didn’t look super on edge, which meant that he definitely didn’t know it was from Harry. He probably figured it was from Zayn or someone. He casually threw the wrapping paper onto the ground like a child, before opening the box that the pajamas were in. He picked up the pajama bottoms, which were blue flannel as well. He nodded in approval. 

“Very nice, Zayn,” he said, smiling at the other man, still oblivious that Harry had been the one who bought them. “Love the blue. And the shirt is also pretty-” he stopped. The words just seemed to be squeezed right out of him. He froze. His eyes widened. “Harry…”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek. “Erm,” he swallowed thickly, his eyes flicking up to look at Louis anxiously. “Merry Christmas?”

“Oh my god, Harry,” Louis said again, his hands slowly lifting up the shirt to get a closer look at it. His eyes were fixated on it in shock. “Are you… are you sure?” He asked it so tentatively and nervously. 

Harry nodded, fiddling with his thumbs. “Yeah,” he said, his voice weak. “If you want to…”

“Yes,” the older said immediately, his eyes snapping over to Harry. They were wide and wet, just glistening a little. He pressed the shirt close to his chest, almost as if trying to protect it. “Yes- of course. I do.” Harry bit his lip, swallowing down the emotion that was clogging his throat. 

They were just staring into each other’s eyes for what felt like the longest time, and it felt like everything else just seemed to fade away. It was just the two of them, just like how it should always be. That was until Niall broke the silence. “Well come on then, show us the shirt,” he said easily, not picking up on the intimate moment. 

Slowly, Louis tore his eyes away from Harry’s. He then picked up the shirt, before turning it towards the rest of them. Then, ever so carefully, he unfolded it for them to see. The shirt was plain grey, which wasn’t that special. But on the front of the shirt were white, bold letters that read ‘Double Or Nothing: Twin Dad.’

Niall’s jaw dropped at that, and for once in his life he seemed speechless. Gigi and Zayn, who had been cuddling together, both seemed to freeze in their skins. Ollie’s eyes widened, seeming to bug out of his head, while Liam’s eyes darted in between the two men in shock. 

“Wait,” Zayn said, blinking at the two of them. His eyes flitted in between the two of them, his mind whirling inside of his head. “You’re-”

“Yes,” Harry said, cutting him off before he could say anything else. He sat up a little straighter, his eyes glancing over to the kids who were still blissfully unaware as they compared their pajamas together. “But, uh, that’s kinda something for tomorrow…” 

Zayn looked like he wanted to say something else, but Allie cut him off. “Yeah, tomorrow’s Christmas,” she pointed out, jumping into the conversation. 

  
Harry smiled easily at her while Louis folded the shirt back up. “That’s right, love,” he said sweetly. “Do you wanna go to bed now so that you can wake up sooner?”

The small girl shook her head. “No! You didn’t open your present yet, daddy,” she pointed out, pointing at the wrapped present that was sitting in the man’s lap. “You hafta open your present before bed, daddy. It’s the Christmas rules.”

Harry laughed a little at that. Because really, how sweet could his children get? “Okay then, I’ll open mine and then it’s bedtime, okay?” The kids all nodded in response.

Harry picked up the present and peeled off the wrapping paper. It wasn’t a very neat wrapping job, so it was easy. He tossed the paper away, only to see it in a Victoria’s Secret box. He looked over at Niall, unimpressed. “Really?” He deadpanned at his best friend. 

But Niall just raised his hands in surrender. “I didn’t get you that,” he said innocently, no trace of lying or humor on his face. That just confused Harry, because he had just assumed that Niall would have been the one to get him something since he always did before. 

That was until Louis cleared his throat. “Actually,” he said, his voice low in a way that seemed to send chills down Harry’s spine. “I got that for you.”

Harry looked at him for a long moment, trying to process the words he had just said. Slowly, Harry looked back down at the Victoria’s Secret box, and reached down to peel the sticker off to open it. With trembling fingers, he opened the box. His eyes widened and a squeak escaped his mouth. 

It was lingerie. Red, Christmas themed lingerie. The same kind that Harry used to wear on Christmas eve all those years ago. But these ones looked more sexy. Much, much more revealing. They were so skimpy that Harry’s face burned red just by looking at them, and his throat closed up. He was so in shock that he didn’t notice Robbie walking towards him. 

“What did you get, daddy?” he asked, trying to peer into the box. 

Harry jumped at the sound of his voice, slamming the box closed again on instinct. “Nothing!” He squeaked, his voice sounding several octaves higher than usual. Everyone turned to look at him strangely, except Louis who was hiding a smirk. “Time for bed!”

Allie pouted. “Now?” She asked with a frown. 

“I hear reindeer on the roof!” He exclaimed frantically, his mind scrambling around as pictures of the lingerie and what he could do in it floating across his mind. “Santa’s coming! Quick- we have to get in bed or else he won’t come!”

That got the kids moving. Their eyes all suddenly widened, before they were off sprinting towards their bedrooms as quickly as they could. They didn’t even bother putting their pajamas on- just grabbed them and booked it up the stairs. 

The other adults looked at Harry strangely, but didn’t comment as they said goodnight to each other. They then headed up the stairs to go say goodnight to the kids. Harry stood up shakily, the box clenched in his hands. He jumped when an arm snaked around his waist. 

“Like them?” Louis asked in a low voice, his breath fanning across the skin on Harry’s ear. Harry couldn’t do anything but nod his head. The room was getting even hotter than it already was. “Can I see you in them tonight?” Again, all he could do was nod. His pants felt tighter as well. “What was that?” The older asked. 

Harry swallowed. “Y-yes,” he said with a shuddering breath. It was all he could do or say, with his heart beating wildly and his mind flashing with images and the tent building in his pants. 

Louis smirked. “Perfect,” he said in a low and seductive voice that did nothing to help the situation in Harry’s pants. “I’ll see you upstairs then.”

He then left, presumably to go say goodnight to the kids. And Harry did all he could to get a hold of himself as he walked up the stairs, lingerie in hand and the memory of a lifetime waiting to happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH OMG ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT AHHHH


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is end. The very last chapter. I don’t know how to say how incredibly greatly I am for every single one of your who have been reading and following my story. Whether it was just one chapter, or if you left comments on every post, you all mean so much. This was my first major story that I’ve finished and it is so amazing that everyone here has enjoyed the work I’ve made. It’s been insane, and I’ve defijitely grown as an author. Thank you so much for making this such a great experience. I love you all to the bottom of my hearts. All the love <3

Harry felt the breath leave his body when Louis stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. They always closed the door before going to bed, but this time it was different. There was a much different mood in the air, and it made Harry’s heart stutter. 

Louis closed the door with a click, before pressing onto the handle to lock it closed. He then turned, his movement accentuated, as he sashayed across the room with ease, walking straight over to Harry, who was standing on the other end of the room. 

“Hey,” he said in a low voice, his hand coming up to cup Harry’s face in between them. Harry’s eyes looked up at him tentatively, his heart hammering inside of his chest as he looked into the deep blue eyes. Louis’ eyes were darker than usual, full of heat and lust. Harry could feel the heat radiating off of him already. They were so close as well, their bodies only an inch apart- barely grazing one another. 

Harry swallowed thickly. “Hey,” he answered back, his voice sounding much different than usual. It was shaky with anticipation and nervousness. And it reflected just how he felt as well. Nervous and excited at the same time. Louis picked up on it and his expression softened a little bit. 

“Do you want to do this?” He asked in a gentle voice, his hands starting to play with the hem of Harry’s shirt almost like he was waiting for the ‘ok’ to take it off. Despite him trying to be gentle and caring, it just sent even more chills down Harry’s spine. 

“Please,” he said softly, his voice coming out a sort of rasp. He must have sounded incredibly needy, but he couldn’t help it. After what Louis had pulled downstairs, he was incredibly horny and needy. He had a tent in his pants already and didn’t want anything else but to finally  _ finally  _ get his hands on Louis. And not just kissing in secret like they usually did. He wanted to actually kiss Louis and touch him and feel him for real this time. 

Louis smiled at that. “Perfect,” he said lowly as he took a step even closer until their bodies were now touching with Harry pinned against the wall. Harry’s breath hitched when they touched, being able to feel Louis’ hardon brushing against his own. Louis seemed to bite back a moan. 

Harry was completely pinned where he was standing, stuck in between Louis’ body and the wall. He could barely move. But he did manage to free his arms, and reach them upwards to interlock behind the other man’s neck, his fingers playing with his hair. 

“Tell me when to stop,” Louis said breathlessly. Harry only had enough time to process his words, before two lips were capturing his own and pressing into a kiss. He opened his mouth immediately, falling pliant to the other man’s mouth. He couldn’t help it as he moaned a little, feeling Louis’ mouth start to take over his mind. The taste, the feel, the- everything. It was just Louis who was clouding his brain and he loved it. He couldn’t get enough of it. Just Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis. It was all he could focus on.

Louis started sucking on his bottom lip, while Harry just went along with him. Their mouths moved along in perfect sync, like they had been made just for each other. It was like Harry’s lips would never feel right on anyone else’s. Only Louis, who he had been made for.

His mind had gone hazy, all that he cared about was that he wanted more. He needed more of Louis and he didn’t care about anything else right now. Harry moaned again, as he rutted down on Louis’ leg that was pinned between his thighs. The friction lept straight up to his dick, only making him harder. He moaned again, but this time Louis’ moans mixed in with him. 

“God Hazza,” Louis gasped between kisses, his hands clenched into fists against the wall. He looked like he was barely containing himself at this point, his erection sticking straight out and poking against Harry. “You... you’re driving me crazy...”

Harry gasped, rutting down even harder and feeling pleasure shoot straight to his spine. “That’s the point,” he managed to choke out breathlessly. He definitely was a lot bolder than he usually was. He was just going to blame it on the fact that he was incredibly horny and Louis was right there. The two usually went hand in hand anyways. 

Louis managed to tear his mouth off of Harry’s, his face dropping down to his neck. He pressed his lips there instead, starting to kiss and nip at it. And that only prompted Harry to keep going, dry humping his leg while several hickeys were being sucked onto his neck. If he hadn’t been completely lost in the pleasure before, he certainly was now.

He was so lost that he barely even realized Louis’ hand shaking around to the front of his shirt, until a hand was tugging at the bottom of it. He stopped his movements briefly, only to look Louis in the eyes. Two blue orbs were staring back at him, questionably. “Can I?” He asked softly, genuine patience in his eyes. Harry nodded, before stopping. 

“Wait,” he said, before Louis could make a move to remove the shirt. Louis stopped, glancing up at him in concern for a moment. Harry swallowed thickly, looking him dead in the eyes. His heart was hammering like a drum. “Pants too.”

Louis stared at him for what felt like a lifetime, before letting out a shuddery breath. “Fuck,” he mumbled, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swalllowed thickly. “That’s hot. You’re so hot.”

Please,” the younger whispered, the anticipation starting to kill him on the inside. His member was throbbing inside of his pants, willing to be free. And his clothes were so hot around his body. 

Louis nodded hastily, taking a step closer again. Tentatively, his hands found their way to the bottom of Harry’s shirt. He fiddled with the fabric for a second, before slowly starting to peel it upwards. He ever so carefully lifted it, his eyes wide and staring the entire time. Harry just stood patiently, but itching on the inside. Louis then pulled the shirt over his head until he wed completely free, before throwing it away. 

Harry stood as still as he could handle while Louis eyed up his body hungrily. His eyes raked over the curly haired man’s torso like it was a piece of meat that he was waiting to devour. His hands moved to grasp at his hips as his thumbs thumbed over the fern leaves that were tattooed onto his skin. “So beautiful,” Louis mumbled to himself, his gaze dropping down. Harry would have blushed if he weren't already so flustered.

As if he sensed how restless Harry was getting, Louis started moving his hands down to the waistband of the pants he had been wearing. He grasped at them, before slowly tugging them downwards as if to tease Harry. The only issue was when he got lower and felt the lace fabric of something else. Louis stopped, and his eyes widened. “Harry,” he said breathlessly. “Is this... are these the panties I gave you?”

“Pull them down a little lower and find out,” Harry managed to gasp, feeling a smirk start to tug at his lips. He didn’t think Louis had ever ripped off his clothes faster than just then. It was less than a second until Harry was standing there, exposed with his pants halfway across the room. He didn’t even blink until he was completely naked except for the red, lace panties that were still clinging to his hips. 

This time, Louis didn’t even wait before diving in for another kiss. It was like something inside of him had been awoken by the sight of Harry, almost completely undressed in lingerie, that had made his mind snap. His lips smashed against Harry’s and his nimble hands slipped into the back of the undergarment. Harry gasped loudly when Louis’ hands cupped at his cheeks. The feeling was so familiar and intense. But he muffled his moans with Louis’ lips. 

Louis’ hands squeezed his cheeks a few more times, before tapping meaningfully at them, signalling for Harry to jump. And Harry had done this enough times with Louis to know what to do already. He hopped up wrapping his legs around the other man’s waist while Louis lifted him up and placed him against the wall while supporting most of his weight. They then continued making out heatedly, nipping and tugging at each other’s lips while moaning shamelessly. 

It wasn’t until Louis’ fingers had started to prod Harry’s cheeks apart to poke at his hole a little that Harry decided to break the kiss. Louis looked at him, blinking doely at him in confusion, concern on his lips. But Harry simply tugged at his shirt like he had a hatred for it. “Off,” he stated, gasping. “I’m not going to be the only naked one here.”

“Yeah?” Louis said, his voice rough and ragged from the kissing, as he placed Harry onto the ground. He then started pulling off his shirt dutifully. “Technically you’re not even naked.”

“I don’t hear you complaining,” the curly haired singer stated, trying his best to keep his eyes from gluing themselves onto the older man’s skin as his shirt lifted to reveal his toned abs. He  _ had  _ been working out. Harry’s mouth started watering. 

Louis let out a small, breathless laugh. “If you think I’m going to be complaining about this,” he reached over to the waistband of the panties, pulling them away an inch before letting them snap back onto the other’s bare skin. “You’re insane.”

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but that was when Louis decided to start taking off his pants. His mouth snapped shut immediately, and his eyes found their way down to track the movements of his hands. His heart felt like it was going to explode, similar to the way his dick was feeling right about now as well. Only, Louis didn’t just take off his pants. As he tugged them down, it soon became clear that he wasn’t wearing any boxers underneath. Harry felt his mouth run dry. “You’re not wearing boxers,” he whispered as Louis tugged his pants to the ground. His dick, almost fully erect was standing up, huge as ever and throbbing. The sight of it only made Harry feel weak in the knees. 

Louis froze his movements. His eyes scanned Harry’s face, looking for any sign of discomfort. He must have seen something flicker across the younger’s face, and he immediately started reaching back down for his pants again as if he had done something wrong. “Is that a problem?” He asked, his eyes widening. “Shit Harry, we don’t have to do anything. I just thought after what had happened downstairs and since you were wearing that I just thought you wanted to-”

“I do,” Harry said breathlessly, his eyes managing to tear away from the bulge Louis was sporting to look into his eyes. He was certain his eyes had gone several shades darker with want. “I want you to fuck me, Louis.”

Something in Louis’ face seemed to change. His Adam’s apple bobbed again. “Are you sure?” He asked, his voice much lower than it had been before. “Harry, are you one hundred percent sure?”

“Yes,” Harry answered back, his voice soft. His gaze flickered down his body again. “I’ve wanted to for so long that it hurts. You have no idea- no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this with you. It’s been  _ years,  _ Louis. I just need you now, please. Please make love to me, Louis.”

“Of course, baby,” Louis said gently, but there was still an edge of lust that crept into his voice as he said it. The pants dropped again, falling to the ground and this time he stepped out of them. “I’ve wanted to see you like this for years too. Wanted to touch you. Get on the bed, Hazza.”

Harry swallowed, before nodding. His heart was racing with both want and anticipation as he walked to the bed and slid onto it, Louis watching him do so. It was like being watched by a hawk, and you’re it’s prey. Exciting. He climbed onto the bed, before shifting down until he was lying on his back, completely exposed. 

Louis walked over to him, his eyes darkening as he slowly climbed onto the bed as well. He crawled over until he was completely hovering overtop of Harry. His eyes were dark and lustful as they raked over his body. “You sure about this, Haz?” He asked once more, his tone quivering. Their bodies were so close, practically touching one another. 

Harry shivered. “Yes,” he whispered. 

***

It was barely even 5 in the morning when the kids decided that it was time to get up. Thankfully Liam was a light sleeper and managed to catch them before they could wake everyone up before the sun was even up. Then at 6 in the morning, they were up again. And this time it was just easier to get up with them rather than try to put it off any longer. 

Harry woke up to the sound of several fists banging on the door as loud as they could. “DADDY!” Someone yelled from the other end of the door. It sounded like Allie, but it was muffled so really it would easily have been either of the twins. “DADDY COME ON! WAKE UP! IT’S CHRISTMAS!”

He groaned a little as he woke up, feeling like his entire body was weighted down on the bed and he couldn’t move. It took him a few moments to realize that it was because another body was lying over him. Then it clicked that it was Louis, his arms wrapped completely around Harry, holding him close to his chest. He couldn’t get free from the strong, death grip. 

“Daddy?” Another voice asked, this one sounded a lot more like Robbie. He sounded concerned. The door handle jiggled a little as he tried to open it. “Daddy? Why’s the door locked? Daddy, are you in there?”

“Yeah, I’m in here,” Harry answered as to not worry his kids, wincing at the croaking sound of his voice. Mixed with both his usual morning rasp and the damage Louis had done to his throat last night. He then looked down at himself, seeing that he was still completely naked, and in no shape to go downstairs yet. “I’ll be out in a minute, okay? Why don’t you head downstairs with the other kids. Me and Lou will be down in one sec, okay?”

The jiggling stopped. “Okay,” Allie said easily, sounding a lot more reassured than a second ago. “We won’t start without you, so hurry.”

“I’ll hurry,” the curly haired man called back, wincing at his voice again. He just hoped that the door muffled it enough so that they couldn’t hear how screwed he sounded. But, after a moment, he heard the sound of the two of them shuffling away again and heading downstairs, much to his relief. He even let out a small sigh as they left. 

He felt the two strong arms around him shift a little, followed by a long sigh of air. Breath fanned over Harry’s neck, causing him to smile a little. He turned around, trying not to move Louis around too much, as he turned to face the other man. 

Louis was fast asleep still, his mouth parted open enough to let the sound of soft snores escape. His face was completely relaxed and peaceful. His forehead wrinkles and eye crinkles were smoothed out as he slept. He just looked so soft, and it made Harry’s heart swell a little. He slowly leaned in to press a small kiss to his jawline, unable to help himself. “Louis,” he said gently, prodding him a little. “Louis, wake up. It’s Christmas.”

Louis groaned a little as his eyelids fluttered a little bit. His brows crinkled, which only made Harry smile even more. Despite Louis always saying that Harry was the cute one when he woke up, he couldn’t help but think that was wrong. He didn’t think there would ever be anything better than watching Louis wake up. His face scrunched up in discomfort, before relaxing again as his eyes slowly blinked open. He blinked a few times as his eyes seemed to focus. Then he smiled. “Hey,” he rasped. 

Harry smiled, snuggling in closer to the other man. “Hey,” he replied softly, leaning up to press another kiss to his face. “Goodmorning.”

Louis hummed in contentement, smiling at Harry. “Merry Christmas, Hazza,” he said, his voice in it’s usual morning rasp. It was deeper and rougher than usual, and it was probably one of Harry’s favourite sounds in the world. It just made him feel so soft and familiar. Plus, it was hot. 

“Merry Christmas, Lou,” the younger answered, tucking himself into Louis’ arms again. He laid his head down onto his bare chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of it as he breathed along with the sound of his heartbeat. He sighed again, closing his eyes. “We had sex.”

Louis hummed. “I know,” he answers softly, his fingers coming up to massage themselves through Harry’s hair. His fingers got caught in his curls a little from where it was already messed up, but he just thread through them without pulling at the knots. It was relaxing and made Harry hum a little. “Are you okay?”

Harry smiled. He really loved Louis at times like this. Times when he was just so soft and caring, the only concern on his mind was Harry’s wellbeing. “My ass hurts,” he answered. “But yeah.”

“Want me to kiss it better?” He offered, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

Harry giggled, smacking him on the stomach in response. “You creep,” he commented lightly. “You got enough of that last night, perv.”

“Yeah right, like I could ever get enough of you,” Louis stated, nosing his hair lovingly. “Or your ass,” He added after a second of thought. Harry hit him lightly again, causing him to bark out a laugh. 

“Pervert,” Harry commented again, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head, fully aware of the fact that he was completely naked and that it was cold. “We have to get up now, the kids are all already awake and ready to open some presents. Allie and Robbie already tried to come in here and wake us up.”

“Thank god I locked the door or else they would be scarred for life,” Louis said with a small shudder. “I’d hate to see my dad in a bed naked from- you know what, I’m just going to stop myself right there before I finish that sentence.”

Harry giggled a little, scrunching up his nose. He didn’t want to picture that either. “Good call,” he said. “And I wouldn’t want them to have to see their dads naked in bed together because that would probably terrify-” Louis inhaled sharply, his eyes bugging out of his head. Harry frowned. “What?” He asked, furrowing his brows. 

Louis let the air out in a slow, thin line. “You said dads. As in, plural,” he said slowly, now much more awake than he had been just a second ago. He was now sitting up straighter, a serious and anxious expression on his face. 

“Oh,” Harry said, blinking. “Did I?”

Louis nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, you did,” he stated slowly, his eyes wide. Harry blinked again, he hadn't even realized. But Louis was not so passive. He reached over to touch Harry on the arm. “Haz, did you mean it? I know that shirt yesterday was, well, one thing. But are you serious about this? You want to tell them the truth?”

“Not the whole truth,” the twenty four year old said, lifting his eyes to look Louis in the face. “I don’t want to tell them about Eleanor or Simon or anything like that. And I don’t really want to get into why I kept it a secret either. Not that until they’re older and can maybe understand it better. But yeah, I want to tell them part of the truth. Like I want to tell them about you.”

Louis’ eyes softened, and he reached up to cup the younger man’s face in his hands. He ran the pads of his thumbs over his cheeks gently, his gaze gentle. “Only if you’re sure, love,” he said sweetly. “But I would love that.”

“I want to,” Harry insisted, leaning into the touch of the other man’s rougher hands. “I want to tell them and just be honest. That way we don’t have to sneak around anymore with… well, whatever this is. I just don’t want to have to hide it- hide you- from them anymore. Not when this is something they should have known from the beginning. And they really love you, Lou, and they want you in their lives. So… I want to tell them the truth.”

While he had said all of that, Louis had inched closer. His face was now looking at him softly. He was silent for a few moments, before leaning in to capture Harry’s lips in his own. He then kissed him softly and gently, before pulling away. “You’re amazing, you know that right?” He said softly, causing Harry to blush and look down at the bed. 

“I’m just doing the right thing,” Harry said softly, biting onto his bottom lip that still tasted like Louis. 

“So amazing,” Louis repeated as if he hadn’t even heard him at all. “Now come on, I don’t think those kids are going to be able to wait if we take any longer.”

***

Allie squealed as she ripped open her present, revealing the latest Barbie she had been wanting. She ripped the doll out of the wrapping and clutched it to her chest, her face splitting into a huge smile. “Yay!” She shrieked happily. “It’s just what I wanted!”

Robbie, who had been watching his sister, turned to the matching present in his own hands. Without wasting another moment, he ripped his open as well. And sure enough, it was a similar Barbie that he had also been wanting. His face lit up immediately. “Yes!” He exclaimed. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“It’s from grandma and grandpa,” Harry said, smiling as he watched the two of them start comparing the dolls happily. “You’ll have to tell them thank you when we go see them later.”

They had been at it for about an hour, all twelve of them gathered around the tree to open presents. There hadn’t been much order to it at all, since the kids pretty much dove into the presents after they had done stockings, but it was fine since it was Christmas. The adults liked watching them open the presents more than opening it themselves anyways. 

One of the most memorable moments had been when Niall had passed Harry and Louis a shared present, claiming that they needed it more than him. They had opened the box, only to reveal that it was a full box to brand new condoms. That had caused them both to turn beet red and shove the box somewhere behind them, out of sight from the kids while Niall raised an eyebrow at them. 

The pile under the tree had been getting smaller and smaller as everyone continued opening presents, until there weren't many left to open. Just the occasional present that they found under all of the wrapping paper that had been scattered on the floor and couch, pretty much covering everything in sight. 

“Are we ready to go eat some breakfast then?” Ollie asked, as everyone started to get more restless. All the presents seemed to be opened already, and it was clear that everyone was starting to get hungry for some food as well. “I’m starving.”

“Yeah, let’s go eat,” Freddie agreed, standing up and rubbing his stomach. “I’m hungry and I want to eat food now. Besides, there’s no more presents.”

“Wait,” Christle said, before anyone could get up to leave. She was tucked almost completely under the tree, the only thing visible was her legs with the rest of her upper body hiding behind the pines. She shimmied around a little bit to get out, before crawling back out. “Look what I found! Two more presents!” She exclaimed, pulling out two small, wrapped presents. 

Gigi’s eyes widened and she clapped her hands together. “Oh right!” She exclaimed excitedly, scooching closer from where she was sitting on the couch. “That’s from your daddy and I. Go on, open it up!”

Christle then started ripping the wrapping paper off piece by piece in excitement. She then pulled out a small, white velvet box. Her eyes widened in interest, while everyone watched closely as she gently pulled off the top of the box. The little girl gasped. “It’s so pretty!” She exclaimed, holding up a small, charm bracelet, just small enough to fit her tiny wrist. 

“We thought you’d like it,” Zayn said, watching his daughter softly as she admired the precious bracelet. “That way you can collect charms to add to it for a special occasion. See, there’s already one of them on there that your mommy and I got you.”

The five year old looked like she was going to start crying. “I love it!” She exclaimed, placing it gently on the coffee table, before running over to jump into her parents’ arms. “Thank you so much mommy and daddy! I love it!”

Gigi pressed a kiss to her head, while Zayn pulled her into a hug. “You’re welcome sweetheart,” the woman cooed. 

Really, it was great to see how grounded the kids were. Like, they were growing up being millionaires with their parents as literal celebrities. It was easier for Harry, Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn- because they had already gone to school and even had jobs before they were famous. But all their kids had ever known was being famous and living the rich, celebrity life. But they had still remained very grounded and grateful despite all of that, which was something that a lot of celebrity children couldn’t say for themselves. It was probably something having to do with their parents all being so hard-working and grounded themselves. 

Bear popped his head up. “Didn’t you say there were two more presents?” He asked the younger girl. She nodded, passing him the second present. Bear walked over and took it, squinting as he read the name. “It’s for uncle Harry,” he said, passing it over to Harry. 

Harry furrowed his brow as the small present was passed over to him. “For me?” He repeated in confusion as he took the present into his hand. It was small enough to fit in his palm, but it was kind of heavy for such a small present. He was surprised that it was for him, considering that he thought he had already opened all the presents for him. But sure enough, there was his name on the tag, written in fancy calligraphy. 

Liam hummed, looking at it dubiously. “Who’s it from?”

Harry shrugged, looking over the present again for a name. “It doesn’t say,” he responded after a moment of searching, frowning in confusion. “There’s no name. It just says ‘Harry.’”

“Open it up then,” Niall said, shifting closer to Harry to get a better look, so that he was pretty much hovering over his shoulder. He nudged Harry a little. “Come on, Haz. Now we all want to see what’s in there. Come on and open it already.”

Harry shoved him a little in response. “I’m opening it, I’m opening it,” he said. It felt fragile just from the feeling of it, so he was careful as he took off the wrapping paper. He threw it into the ground with the rest of the paper, before holding up a small box. It was similar to Christle’s box, only this one looked much more expensive, with the name ‘Argintie’ on the box. 

Harry knew enough about jewelry to know that the Argintie was one of the world’s most expensive jewelry stores in the US- maybe in the world. Harry had always liked the pieces that they sold there, and had always wanted to get one, but had never actually bought anything. His eyes widened. “Oh my god…” he breathed, his hands trembling as they reached down to open up the small box. 

Gigi, who had seen the cover of the box, stood up to look inside as well. Her eyes then seemed to bug out of her head once she got a closer look. “Oh my god!” She exclaimed, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Are those  _ pearls!?”  _

Sure enough, they were. Inside the box was a carefully beaded pearl necklace. Harry reached down with trembling fingers to touch one of the pearls carefully, as if it would break, in complete shock. They were beautiful. Probably the most beautiful pair he had ever seen. It was exactly the pair he had been wanting for years, only they looked so much prettier in person. They were so precious and stunning that he found he couldn’t look away. 

Niall looked over again. “Holy shit,” he said, his eyes widening. He didn’t even know anything about jewelry and he was awestruck by the pearls. It was how you could tell that they really were that big of a deal. “Who got you  _ that?” _

“I don’t know,” Harry said, his voice coming off as breathy. He was still in shock, completely entranced by the beautiful necklace. “It doesn’t have a name on it.”

“Well look at that,” Niall said, reaching over to point at a small paper label that was underneath the necklace. Harry hadn’t even seen it before, since he had been so entranced by the actual pearls. “That has some words on it. Look at what that says.”

So Harry reached down for the paper, picking the pearls up in his hand. They were kind of heavy, but they felt right in his hands. He then picked up the label, being careful not to fold it over and wrinkle it. He then picked it up, seeing small letters written in the middle of the page. It was a neat calligraphy font with three words written on it. 

_ Only The Brave. _

***

It was later on in the day when Harry finally managed to get Louis alone. It was just past lunch and everyone was doing something. Gigi and Zayn were cleaning the dishes, since it was their turn. Niall was teaching Ollie how to play No Judgement on the guitar since Ollie had decided to learn and Niall had gotten a new one for Christmas. Liam was going through the wrapping paper, trying to find what could and couldn’t be salvaged for next year. Then the kids were off playing with their new toys, completely occupying themselves for a few hours. The only people not doing something was Harry and Louis, which gave Harry the perfect opportunity to pull the other man to the side. 

Harry grabbed Louis by the arm, before pulling him towards the extra living room around the corner. It was smaller and more secluded and hardly anyone ever went in there. The curly haired man tugged Louis over there, before closing the door behind him. 

Louis furrowed his brow. “What are you doing, Haz?” He asked in confusion. “If you wanted to go again, all you needed to do was ask. If I had known that you wanted to do this, I would have brought that box of protection that Niall so graciously got us.”

“Wait what, no-“ Harry said, blinking a few times as he shook his head. “No, that’s not what- no. I just wanted to ask you if, um, if you were the one who got me those pearls.”

Louis raised a single eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall with a smile. “Maybe it was me, maybe it wasn’t,” he answered simply and mysteriously. “Why? Do you like them?”

“Of course I like them, they’re beautiful,” Harry said, shaking his head and trying to remain focused. “They’re like, the best gift I’ve ever gotten from anyone. But I can’t take them.”

Louis’ smile dropped from his face, morphing into a frown instead as he stood back up. “Why not?” He asked, a crease coming between his brows. 

He looked genuinely upset, so Harry was quick to continue. “Because they’re so expensive. They’re like, a million dollars at least, maybe even more, I don’t know how much they were. But they were too expensive and I can’t accept a gift like that when I got you almost nothing.”

“You bought me a Gucci watch, Harry,” the older man stated, raising an eyebrow. “That’s not almost nothing. And, like I said before, it might not even have been me who bought them for you. You have no proof, so really I wouldn’t be able to take them back even if you wanted me to.”

Harry frowned, and pulled out the box from behind him. He opened it up before placing the label in Louis’ hands. “Louis, the name of the pearls is Only The Brave,” he stated, crossing his arms over his chest. “Which happens to be the name of the last song on Walls. Besides, Niall wouldn’t get them for me in a million years since he doesn’t care about that stuff or even know what to buy. And everyone else either wouldn’t think of it, wouldn’t spend that much on me ever or couldn’t afford it.”

Louis hummed again, his eyes looking at the label. “You have no proof,” he said simply, handing it back to Harry. “Maybe you’ve got an admirer who saw those and thought they could only ever look good on you, and it would have been cruel to see them on anyone else.”

Harry didn’t say anything as Louis reached for the box. He then opened it up and took the necklace into his hands. He then reached behind Harry, clipping the pearls together at the back of his neck. The necklace was cold and heavy on his neck, but it felt right there. Harry didn’t move as the other man clipped them on delicately. 

“Beautiful,” Louis said, taking a step back and smiling softly at Harry. He then pressed a quick kiss to Harry’s lips. “It was a gift, Hazza. Accept it. Clearly  _ someone  _ wanted you to have them.”

***

It was getting later, and Christmas was almost over. They had already eaten, and even had some desert that Liam and Harry had made together earlier in the day. It was apple crumble, which everyone had seemed to enjoy because it was gone within minutes. 

Now everyone was just going their thing when Harry decided that it was time. Time for the moment of truth. The moment he had been anxious about for the whole day. It was time that he and Louis were going to tell the twins the truth. Everyone was doing their own thing, so Harry looked over at Louis. The older man also seemed to sense that the time was coming, and he nodded. 

Harry stood up silently from the table. Nobody really noticed since they were all busy, so he had the chance to walk into the playroom, where the twins were sitting and playing with their toys. Harry smiled as he walked over to the two of them. “Hey loves,” he said softly, sitting down on the ground with them. “Did you have a good Christmas?”

Allie nodded, never taking her eyes off of the toy she was playing with in her hands. “Yup,” she answered easily, not even looking up. “It was super duper fun.”

Louis walked in silently as well, closing the door behind him and standing against it. He shot Harry a small nod. It was time. 

Harry cleared his throat, sitting up straighter. His heart was beating wildly inside of his chest, but he did his best to remain as neutral as he could for the kids as to not freak them out. “Here, can we put the toys down now please,” he said, reaching over to put the toys on the ground. He was going to need their full attention for this. “There’s something Lou and I need to talk to you about.”

Robbie put his toys down slowly, looking up at them with big eyes. “Are we in trouble?” He asked nervously, looking between the two men with wide eyes. 

Harry’s face softened, and he reached over to pull the small boy into his lap. “No, you’re not in trouble baby,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to the side of the boy’s head. “We just need to tell you both something serious, okay?”

Usually Robbie was the one to get nervous with things like this, but this time Allie was the one who seemed more panicky. Her head snapped up and her eyes flashed with anxiousness. “What?” she asked, blinking at the two of them nervously. “Why’s it serious? Is it bad?”

Louis came and sat down on the ground with them as well, crossing his legs and pulling the young girl to sit on his lap as well. “It’s not bad, love,” he said softly to her, wrapping his arms around Allie and letting her sink into the embrace. “It’s just kind of serious that your daddy and I need to talk to you about. Is that okay?”

The girl nodded. “Um, yeah…” she said slowly, but she still looked concerned and confused. 

“Okay then,” Louis said gently. He then looked over at Harry, nodding for him to continue and take the lead with the conversation. 

Harry nodded at him as well, before taking a deep breath. He was actually a little nervous about this as well, but he knew that it was something he needed to do. Something he  _ wanted  _ to do. “Well,” he said, letting out a deep exhale. “You know how a little while ago you asked me where babies come from?” The two of them nodded. 

“You said it comes from their parents loving each other,” Robbie piped up quietly. 

Harry nodded, remembering when he needed to give them that talk. It had been a year ago, before Louis was back in his life. That had been a hard talk to have by himself with the two of them. “Yeah, that’s right. And remember how I said that you need to have two parents to make a baby, right?”

“Yeah, but we don’t have two. I remember how you said that we don’t have another mommy or daddy,” Allie stated, nodding along. She was looking at Harry with a small confused, frown on her face. “But that doesn’t really make sense, daddy.”

Harry shot her a small, tight smile. “It doesn’t really make sense, does it?” He said, his eyes flickering up to meet Louis’. Louis was watching him carefully, his own blue eyes saddened. But Harry couldn’t focus on Louis right now or else he would start to feel bad all over again and wouldn’t be able to get through this. “Well, the truth is that you do have another dad.”

It took all but three seconds for their eyes to practically bug out of their heads. Their jaws dropped as well. They were in complete shock by the looks of it. “What!?” Robbie yelled, which was a testimony to how shocked they were considering that he almost never yelled. 

“We have another daddy!?” Allie shrieked, her eyes popping out of her head. “Since when!?”

Harry couldn’t tell if they were happy or upset by this, so he continued hastily. “Well, you’ve always had another dad. It’s just… he didn’t know about you for a long time because we weren’t together anymore,” he said, trying to make it as simple as possible. 

“Not together anymore?” Repeated Robbie, lowering his voice like it was a secret. “Like…  _ divorce?”  _

“Uh, kind of,” Harry said, trying to find the right words. It was harder to explain the entire situation to two five year olds when so much of it was about things that they wouldn’t even understand yet. “We weren’t married, but yes, we stopped loving each other and separated. Which was why, when I found out that I was having you two, your other dad didn’t know.”

“How come he didn’t know?” Robbie asked, his brow furrowing as he struggled to understand everything. “How come you stopped loving each other?”

The twenty four year old hesitated. “Well,” he said, racking his brain for an answer. It wasn’t like he was going to tell them about Eleanor, or being forced into a closet, or about management just yet. “Sometimes things just get in the way and you stop trying-” Louis looked down at the ground “- but that’s not the important thing. The important thing is that now he’s back.”

Allie blinked. “He is?” She asked. Without warning, she turned around and looked at Louis. “Are you our dad, Lou?” 

Louis blinked, completely caught off guard. Harry was too for that matter. He had not been expecting that to come out of the girl’s mouth. “Uh,” Louis stammered, blinking as he looked up at Harry for guidance. “How- why do you think that?”

Allie shrugged easily, like it was obvious. “Because you look like Robbie,” she stated. “And you’re always around. And I saw you kissing my daddy.”

“You did?” Harry asked, his eyes popping out of his head. They had been so careful for so long, either sneaking out to cars where they were in private or doing it when no one else was in sight. Harry didn’t think anyone, let alone his daughter, had seen them.

“Yeah,” the five year old stated, nodding her head up and down. She then stopped, and looked at Louis again, her eyes wide. “So does that mean you’re our dad too now, Lou?”

Louis looked up at Harry, who was watching him just as anxiously. He then looked over at Robbie, who had his eyes trained carefully on Louis as if watching his every move. Then he looked down at Allie, who looked like she was itching for an answer. Then he smiled. “Yes angel,” he said softly, biting onto his lip. “I’m your dad now too.”

In a second, Robbie was launching himself across the room and directly into Louis. Allie squealed and jumped up as well, grabbing onto his neck and pulling herself into a hug. Louis gasped a little as they collided with him, but brushed it off immediately to wrap his arms around the twins. He pressed a kiss to both of their heads, before squeezing them into his chest. His eyes were glassy with tears, but he was smiling brighter than Harry had seen him smile in a long time. 

That was when Harry started crying. The emotions that had been building up inside of him for the entire day, all just spilled out at once. But it wasn’t just those emotions. It was all the times when he saw Robbie’s face and saw Louis looking back at him. It was those times when Allie would binge watch Grease and he wished Louis was there to be the Danny to her Sandy. It was all those times when he wished with all his heart that Louis had given their family a chance. All those times that he had wanted Louis to be there with them. It was how incomplete their family had been without him. And now he was there. 

“Oh baby,” Louis mumbled, scooching towards the other man. He held out his arms again, so that there was room for Harry right in the middle of their group hug. “Come here, love.” Harry threw himself into Louis’ arms, feeling them wrap around him. 

And it was then, for the first time, that their family was whole again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all so so much for reading. And if you enjoyed this story, I have a sequel!! This story is not the end... it’s just the beginning...


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